Professor Snape Visits the Circus (One Shot)

Professor Severus Snape walked up to the ticket booth and glowered at the ticket master, who was dressed in a ridiculous red and white striped robe and a straw hat. The tall, pale, black-eyed, black-haired wizard reached into his robes pocket.

"How much?" he growled.

"Two galleons, sir. More than worth it too," the wizard replied, trying not to blanch. This bloke looked like he needed a good laugh.

"Robbery," the Potions Master snarled, dropping two galleons on the counter. "And I hope your clowns don't mingle with the audience, if they do…I hope they have a good medical plan."

He stalked off into the tent, the wizard looking after him.

"What a troll," he said under his breath before turning and smiling at the next customer.

Severus Snape hated circuses. The only reason he was even here was because of the rumor he'd heard that Hermione Granger worked here as a performer part time while she attended university. He couldn't imagine what kind of talent she would have other than annoying the audience by spouting insignificant facts at them rapid fire. Still, his curiosity got the better of him, so here he was, fighting his way through sticky-fingered children and chiding adults trying to keep up with the little buggers.

He popped a brightly colored balloon that hit him in the face as he passed, ignoring the wail that followed the thing's demise. The frowning wizard made his way through the crowd, irritated at all the bumping and pushing he was being subjected to as he did so. He hated crowds as well as circuses. He finally came to a relatively clear area and could breathe again.

Suddenly, the Potions Master froze. A mime was pulling himself towards him via an invisible rope. Severus scowled, surreptiously pulled out his wand and set the aggravating performer's big floppy shoes on fire.

"Get some imaginary water and put it out," the wizard growled as he walked past the dancing mime.

The mime certainly wasn't silent now as he shouted for help. The poor wizard was suddenly smothered in a deluge of water that spouted from the wand tips of about thirty helpful individuals, now in danger of drowning as well as burning up.

Severus made his way to the stands, climbing up to the top row. Most of the children and their parents preferred the lower seats. Besides, the wizard didn't like sitting shoulder to shoulder with strangers. Actually not even friends, if the wizard could be said to have any real friends.

Severus surveyed the wooden ten by two that served as an extended bench. It was stained almost everywhere. Sweets and fizzy water no doubt. Finally he found a relatively clean area and sat down. If any clowns came up this far, they deserved what they got.

He looked at the ring. It was huge. Funny though, he couldn't smell any animals. Most circuses smelled like badly kept barnyards and with his large, sensitive nose, he picked up every disgusting aroma. Elephants stunk to high heaven and often shit when performing…large steaming piles that rivaled dragon dung. Well, maybe they kept their animals cleaner than most circuses.

The tent went completely dark and Severus reflexively pulled out his wand. What the hell was going on? Suddenly a single light focused on a wizard standing in the middle of the ring.

"Welcome to the Cirque de Magica, a celebration of life overflowing with optimism and joy! It is a kaleidoscope, a whirlwind, and an adventure in which anything can happen! It has its own special language, and its spirit is conveyed through voice, movement and music!" he said joyfully.

"What the fuck kind of circus is this?" Severus thought, frowning. Life overflowing with optimism and joy? He felt a bit of nausea coming on. This was exactly the kind of crap he figured Hermione Granger would be involved with.

Suddenly the lighting changed, some odd music came on and a bevy of strangely dressed performers ran out into the ring, feathered, caped, painted, flipping, rolling and leaping about like a bunch of poofs, their clothing so clingy nothing was left to the imagination.

"Oh dear gods," Severus said as they cavorted about, buttocks flexing. The female contortionist was interesting however. Severus craned his neck several times as the witch folded herself into impossibly erotic positions. He wouldn't mind a go at her.

After about forty-five minutes of this, an intermission was called. Severus sat through it with his arms folded. He was sure Hermione hadn't been in that group.

The tent went black again, and there was the sound of rushing audience members returning.

The spotlight appeared again, along with the weird music and a small witch in a skintight half-silver, half-black cat suit stood before a table of rather long swords, varying in thickness. Her hair was swept back into a bun and colored silver and black as well, and her face was covered in white pancake make-up, and an eight petaled black flower was painted under one eye. Her lips were black as well. Severus did a double take.

It was Miss Granger. A very curvy Miss Granger.

"Circe," Severus breathed as Hermione picked up the first thin blunt-tipped sword, tilted her head and carefully swallowed it, removing her hands for several seconds before extracting it. The crowd applauded. The witch worked her way through all the swords on the table until she came to a very thick and rather daunting looking sword. The blade was enormous.

The music took on an ominous note as the witch picked up the huge weapon. Severus watched as Hermione took the sword in inch by inch, his mouth open as she got it all the way in. It was too heavy to release, so she spun slowly, the audience gasping. Then carefully she removed it inch by inch, returned it to the table and bowed expertly at the audience, which went wild.

"I wouldn't mind a little time with her," a wizard on a lower bench said crudely, nudging his companion who shook his head vigorously in agreement.

Severus thought the same thing. He hadn't known she was so talented. The rest of the show was a blur, the wizard thinking about Hermione the entire time. The little witch hated him, and with good reason. He tormented her the entire time she was at Hogwarts. She was such an aggravating little chit…the pride of Gryffindor and one-third of the "Golden Trio". He had more trouble watching over those three than he cared to think about. Voldemort had tortured him mercilessly because of their antics on several occasions. The wizard looked thoughtful.

Maybe he could get a little of his own back. He'd taken stripes for her after all and without a word of thanks...not that she knew. But so what? That was justification enough as far as the Potions Master was concerned. Ignorance was no excuse. Rationalization accomplished.

Severus Snape was a man of little conscience, an opportunist and had no qualms about using any means necessary to acquire what he wanted, a Slytherin to the core. He was also a very well endowed wizard, and because of that couldn't indulge himself like he would like concerning fellatio. Watching Hermione swallow those swords gave him ideas. Very naughty ideas.

After the show, the wizard exited the tent and walked up to the ticket master.

"Where does Miss Hermione Granger stay? I want to pay her my…respects," he said to the wizard silkily.

He pointed to a small, silver trailer.

That's her dressing room when she's here," the wizard said.

Severus stalked off without a word. He approached the trailer and looked around to see if anyone was observing him. As far as he could tell, no one was. He knocked on the trailer door.

"Come in," Hermione called, expecting it was one of her fellow performers.

The witch sat in front of a lighted mirror. Her hair was still in a bun but back to its rich chestnut color. She didn't look around when the door opened and closed.

Severus noticed a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the inside of the door and discreetly placed it on the outside knob, closing the door behind him. He looked at the witch.

"That's quite a way to work yourself through school," Severus said to her, eyeing her cat suit.

Hermione stiffened as she recognized that silken voice, then turned around in her swivel chair, scowling.

"Professor Snape! What are you doing here?" she snapped at him.

Obviously she still had issues concerning his treatment of her. No matter.

"I've come about your sword-swallowing talents, Miss Granger," the Professor said, his dark eyes glinting at the witch. "You are quite...gifted."

"Get out of my trailer, Professor. I had enough of you at Hogwarts," Hermione spat at him, turning back around towards the mirror rudely and continuing to remove her makeup.

"Fine, I will leave if you do just one thing for me...look into my eyes, Miss Granger," the Professor said, focusing his gift of Mesmer.

Hermione turned back around and looked at the Professor, ready to tell him to leave in more pointed terms when her amber eyes met his. The wizard's orbs seemed to grow larger and blacker, expanding until they swallowed her down into their depths and she was unable to think or move. Hermione stared at him.

"You are in my power, Miss Granger. You will obey my every command and believe everything I tell you," the Professor purred at her, warding the trailer door and putting a silencing charm in place.

"Yes Professor," she said a bit hollowly.

The Professor looked around the trailer. There was a rather long table, just the perfect height for what he had in mind. It had some papers on it. He walked over, picked them up and tossed them on the small loveseat against the wall.

"Come over here and lie down on this table on your stomach," he instructed.

Hermione obeyed him.

"Scoot up," he commanded and Hermione moved forward until her head was at the end of the table. The Professor hurriedly unbuttoned his robes, then the front of his pants.

"I am opening my scabbard, Miss Granger," he purred at her, "This is a sword, Miss Granger. I want you to swallow it."

Suddenly Hermione saw a short broad sword emerge from the Professor's trousers. It looked a bit deformed. It had a rather thick dull and slightly oily tip, but looked safe enough. It wasn't very long for a sword.

"It's a very short sword, Professor," she replied.

"From your current point of view, I imagine it is, Miss Granger," he replied smirking.

Hermione studied it then flicked her eyes up toward the Professor.

"This is an odd angle to swallow a sword," she stated.

"Yes, but I can't raise it over your head, witch. It's…bolted down," he replied, moving closer. "Think of it as a challenge. You're a Gryffindor after all…you love challenge."

"I love challenge," Hermione repeated, opening her mouth for the wizard.

"Get up and return to your chair," he ordered the witch.

Hermione silently obeyed.

"You will wake up when I count down to one. You won't have any remembrance of swallowing my sword, nor of the passage of any time," he said to the witch.

"No remembrance," she agreed, her eyes unfocused.

The wizard removed the wards and counted back to one. Hermione's eyes suddenly sharpened.

"I said for you to leave, Professor. Don't make me call security," the witch said frowning. Suddenly her hand went to her throat and she rubbed it…swallowing several times. She grunted a bit, then scowled at the wizard.

"Why are you still here?" she snapped at him.

Severus smirked at the witch.

"Very well, Miss Granger. I will go. I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your talents," he purred at her.

"Whatever. Just leave my trailer," she said coldly, turning back around to face the mirror again.

"As you wish," Severus said silkily, opening the door and placing the "Do not Disturb" sign back on the inside knob. "Goodbye, Miss Granger."

Hermione didn't reply as he left, but rubbed her throat again, looking a bit out of sorts.

"I need a lozenge," she said to herself. "My throat is kind of achy."

Severus walked away from the trailer, whistling the odd music the witch had performed her act to.

"You know, I really should come to the circus more often," the wizard mused as he disapparated back to Hogwarts.

"It's very entertaining."

THE END

A/N: This one-shot has had the "explicit" content edited out in order to meet the guidelines of this site. If you would like to read the "uncut" version, please visit theburningpen . com