AN: Just somethin' I've had up my sleeve for a while. Hope you like.
THIS IS JUST A ONESHOT. DO NOT ASK FOR IT TO BE CONTINUED.
Don't let the M scare you. It's not that bad. Seriously. (:
I would always sit calmly in the cushioned seat, as those patient, calm hands powdered my face, and shadowed my eyes, painted my lips. Clips were put in my hair; there was already a slight curl to it, so nothing like that ever had to be done. Before that, I was dressed up in my outfit for the day. Something pretty, a tad bit revealing, though very classy. They wanted only the best for me, after all. Silk stockings, satin slippers. The whole works. Before that, even, while I was still in my bedclothes, I would be fed as a baby might've, only a little. To keep my figure, they said.
Anytime I caught my reflection in one of the many mirrors around, I would catch myself thinking something along the lines of, 'I look like a girl'. I did though, and I supposed that was their idea. I looked young enough to pass as a girl just on the edge of childhood, not yet taking on the curved shape of a woman. When one took me onto the train, to get from place to place, people would coo, 'what a pretty girl', or 'you're so lucky she's so sweet'. I didn't mind. It wasn't as if I could do anything about it, after all.
One would caress my face at night, telling me I was pretty, even after the makeup had been wiped away, the dresses taken off, telling me I was a beautiful little doll. I suppose I was. That was how that treated me, that's how life was. That's the life I knew, anyway. I got up at the same hour every day. I was dressed, my face was painted, and my hair was brushed. I wasn't allowed to do anything myself. I was fed, I was bathed, and I was dressed. One would put their arm around me when I walked, to make sure I wouldn't fall. When I would ask to sit, they, of course, obliged, but would sit with me, stroking my face, rubbing my back.
One day, when I was sitting with one of them (Itachi-san), while he had me on his lap, reading one of his books as we sat in the courtyard, I asked him something. He had told me I needed sun. I guess I did, but I don't think anything could get passed the powder on my skin. I told him this, and he gave me a rare smile.
"Itachi-san," I said after a while of sitting like that. It felt nice, with his arm around me. The only noise flipping pages and nature, "Itachi-san, why are you never happy?" He merely responded,
"Why aren't you?"
The next day, Arashi-san, the one who owned the residence we occupied, took me for a walk down the street. We lived in a nice neighborhood, I supposed. We were looking at the quaint little shops in the open-air market when I asked,
"Arashi-san, why do you take such good care of me?"
He didn't answer for a moment. I asked again.
"Because, little doll, no one else will." That confused me. I wondered what he meant,
"But Arashi-san…" He placed a finger to my lips,
"Little doll, I love you. That's all you need to know."
Not knowing… anything. It bothered me. I knew what they told me. I had lessons in speech and etiquette. Itachi-san taught me the piano. I learned how to read correctly, and sew. I knew nothing of the outside word, however. I knew of the street we lived on, a bit of the small town. The places Arashi-san took me by train. He mostly took me to shops, to get me more clothes. Sometimes he would take me to the park, to watch the birds flutter about, to watch the people walk passed us.
Nothing of anywhere else. People didn't talk to me much. Maybe to wave, or compliment my outfit. But I knew no one other than the ones that lived in the house. It seemed as if they didn't want to share me. They gave mean looks to the people that passed us on the street. Who looked at me. They wanted to keep me to themselves, I knew, but the people on the streets seemed so nice… No one wanted to hurt me, did they?
Deidara-san was nicer than the other two, I think. He talked to me more, instead of just gazing at me. He laughed and was happy. He always was the one to dress me in the morning, to do my makeup. He would do more than just sit with me. He would dance me around the yard, make me laugh as well. Arashi-san would yell at him sometimes, if he caught us during our fun, for endangering my wellbeing, but Deidara-san did it anyway. He knew I hated being cooped up in the house. He knew I liked playing and having fun. That I didn't want to be a proper little thing and sit with my back straight and play classical piano and do lessons. At least, I didn't all the time.
Today was such a day. I was watching wind blow through Deidara-san's blond hair, the smile on his face as he took my hand and led me out into the courtyard to see the fish in the small pond there. Koi fish, he told me, pointing at the different ones, letting me help him come up with different names. He sat down then, pulling me onto his lap so I wouldn't get dirty and played with my hair. He was the only one that did that while I was properly dressed. He said he liked how curly it was. His hair was straight and long and beautiful. I told him I liked it better than mine, and he just smiled, holding me close.
Hearing a heartbeat against your cheek as someone held you so lovingly… That, I think, is the best feeling in the world. He would rub my back, fingers tracing over the cord tying the back of my dress, caress my thighs through the fabric of my skirts (and making me blush). Murmur soft words into my ear, 'it'll be okay, un,' he would say softly, 'we'll all be okay.' I never asked what he meant. I was beyond asking questions now, knowing they would never be answered. He was the only one that called me by my name. Not 'little doll', or other such things. 'Sasori-chan,' he called me. It was the only way of remembering what my name was, really.
That day, when we had come back inside, Arashi-san had pointed out that my sleeve was dirty and I watched in horror as he hit Deidara-san across the face. It was the first time I had seen such a thing. Arashi-san apologized to me later, for letting me see something like that. He told me he had lost his temper, that he just wanted what was best for me. He told me to forget about what had happen, and I tried to.
Until he hit me. It was at night, and he was the one lying with me then, holding me close to him. He was fingering the end of my night clothes, saying he should buy me something new soon. I asked him why, since what I was wearing was clean and new to begin with. He just shrugged,
"I like to buy you things… Make you look pretty, my little doll… Dress you up, take care of you…" He slid his hand up my thigh. I shivered. "Because you're mine." He began stroking me through the fabric of the silk panties I wore. He smiled when I let out a soft little moan.
"That's what… you say. And what Itachi-san says. And Deidara-san, too…" He frowned, just slightly, his soft touches stopping.
"They've told you that, little doll?" I nodded, my unclipped hair falling into my face. He brushed it back.
"Yes… Isn't that the truth, though?" They had never lied to me. Had they? He scowled and I backed away from him slightly, a bit frightened.
"Of course not. You're mine… You belong to me. You're my little doll, not their's."
"Itachi-san and Deidara-san… Why do you let them with me, then?" I must've pouted because he pressed his finger to my lip, frowning slightly.
"You don't need to know that, little doll. Just know that you are mine."
"But, Arashi-san… I want to know." It was the first time I had defied any of them. "You always keep things from me, I want to know."
He hit me. Right across the face. I gasped, lifting a hand to my cheek as I backed away from him. He grabbed me by the wrists and held me to the bed,
"You want to know, little doll? Because there are things in this world that would want to hurt you. Rape you, kill you. Itachi, Deidara, and I wish to keep you from that." He saw the tears in my eyes and released me, getting off the bed. "Forgive me. I didn't mean to hit you."
"You lost your temper? You wanted what was best for me?" I repeated, from his words before. He lifted his hand again, I backed away.
He left the room and Itachi-san came in later, to satiate my needs. We didn't talk much, and he left afterwards, back to his own quarters. Deidara-san woke me up the next morning at the appropriate hour and dressed me in my clothing for the day. He looked at me sadly, and when I looked in the mirror while he tied my corset, there was a light bruise across my face. I don't think I had been injured before that, and it was a shocking thing. He kept moving my hand away when I touched my face, saying I would aggravate it further.
The make up covered most of it up. They kept me inside that day, not wanting anyone to see me like that. By the next day, it had faded a bit more and the usual amount of make up covered it easily. I kept close to Deidara-san those two days. When he took me into the courtyard the second day, we didn't sit on the ground like before. I could tell he wasn't as happy as normal. I didn't ask why, though. I was done with asking questions.
Itachi-san took me into town a few days later, something that before only Arashi-san had done. Itachi-san told me that I needed a few new outfits and other such things. When we returned, Arashi-san wasn't there, only Deidara-san, and he helped Itachi-san put things away while I sat in the parlor, resting and reading through one of my lessons. They came back in a few minutes later, looking at me sadly. I didn't ask what was wrong and they didn't tell me. We had supper about an hour later.
The next day, things began to return to normal. I was told Arashi-san was away on some sort of business. Itachi-san was nicer than normal, and Deidara-san took me for walks and let me feed the birds in the park nearly every day it was warm enough. Deidara-san and Itachi-san, though… They didn't visit me at night like they did when Arashi-san was home. I asked them about this one breakfast, saying it made me feel lonely.
"Sasori-chan…" My eyes widened a bit as Itachi-san called me this, "we do… what we do, to protect you." I watched Deidara-san nod.
"Un… but… what we do to you, yeah… That's not so good." The blond took my hand, stroking my palm, "you're so little, yeah… We shouldn't do stuff like that…"
"But… I don't understand," I looked at him in confusion, "how could it be bad? Arashi-san said… Itachi-san and Deidara-san are here to protect me."
"Sasori-chan… You have to understand… Arashi isn't what you think him to be… I know he takes care of you, but he's…"
"Obsessed, un," Deidara-san put in simply, "he thinks you're just a toy he can play with, Sasori-chan. That's not true, un. You're still a person… Yer not a toy."
"Deidara-san…" I pouted, still confused, "Itachi-san… Even… Even you both treat me like that, too…" I watched them look at each other.
"Well… well, Sasori-chan… We like dressing you up and stuff, un. I love talking to you in the morning… Yeah, but… it's not the same with us. We love you." That made me blush,
"But, Arashi-san says he loves me all the time…"
"Sasori-chan, you have to believe us. You can't let him control you like this… He hit you, you still have the bruise." Itachi-san stroked my face softly. "He's going to do it again if he gets angry. I know how scared you were…"
"I… I don't want to be hit again," I said softly, looking down at me and Deidara-san's hands. "And… And you, Deidara-san. Are you alright?" He smiled at me,
"I'm fine, yeah. Don't worry about me. Just… we wanna' keep you safe, un. We don't want you to get hurt again."
Arashi-san came back a week later and kept me close to him afterwards. I barely saw Deidara-san and Itachi-san, only at meals and when Deidara-san came to dress me in the morning. He even let me sleep in his own bed at night, something that hadn't been allowed before. I knew what they had said, but… I followed him into his bedroom and he undressed me and then dressed me in a little black negligee. The silken fabric felt nice against my skin. He chuckled and sat me down on the bed, playing with my hair, stroking my neck and face.
"A-Arashi-san…" He paused, looking at me. "Arashi-san… I… I don't want…" I bit my lip as he looked at me, his eyes narrowing slightly.
"What?" I looked away from him,
"I… I don't want… I don't want to…"
He hit me; I fell back against the bed.
"You don't want to?" I felt tears welling in my eyes as he took my wrists, pinning me to the bed, crawling on top of me.
"Arashi-san!" I was weak; I couldn't pull from his grasp.
It was the first time anyone had forced me to do such a thing. Afterwards, he pushed me from the room and out into the hall. Deidara-san was the one to find me twenty minutes later, in my ripped negligee, my face tear-stained. I clung to him and he carried me back to my room. Itachi-san was waiting for us, with a towel and my bath robe. They bathed me carefully and dressed me again. I was still sobbing into Deidara-san's shoulder an hour later, when I was taken to his room and they locked the door. Itachi-san left a while later, saying he needed to fix something.
"He won't hurt you again, un." He whispered into my hair, rubbing my back, "never again. We're going to leave. You'll come with me, un."
"Hmm, and who would authorize this, Deidara?" A key turned in the lock and Arashi-san walked into the room, a dreadful smirk on his face. I felt my body tense as I looked at him. Deidara-san pulled me against him, holding me protectively.
"You can't tell us what to do anymore! Look at him! He's terrified of you! It's our job to protect Sasori, un, not hurt him!"
"This is my house, Deidara. I can do whatever I want with the people I allow to live here." He took a step closer. "I own every object in this house, including the little doll." He reached towards me…
The door opened again and I watched in horror as Itachi-san appeared in the doorway, holding a long metal object I had come to know as a gun from what I had learned in my studies.
"Don't touch Sasori-chan." I gasped as Arashi-san turned, looking at him. Itachi-san wouldn't… kill him… would he?
"Why shouldn't I?"
"Get out." Itachi-san cocked the gun.
"Don't!" I started to speak, but Deidara-san pulled me close, pressing my face against his chest.
"You're too innocent to see such a thing, un," he whispered to me.
A few more minutes of arguing and I heard it. The loud, banging noise that was the gun shot. I felt a sudden warm wetness hit me. Blood. Arashi-san was… I let out a gasp and suddenly everything went black.
"Un, Sasori-chan… are you okay? Un?"
I opened my eyes. I was in my room, laying in my bed… Deidara-san sat next to me, holding my hand. I sat up.
"Arashi-san… he… Itachi-san…" I couldn't say it. Deidara-san hugged me.
"It's okay, un… he would've hurt you… Un, Sasori-chan. We found his will, un. He left everything he had to you. Un, so you'd be taken care of if anything happened to him… You're set for life, un. We can all live here, un, together."
I closed my eyes, keeping my head tucked under his chin. Together… just… Itachi-san and Deidara-san and I. Together.
"I… I want to know… a-about things… I don't…" I didn't know what I was asking, nor if I would get what I wished. I just… I didn't want to be in dark any longer. I wanted to be someone. Not just a… a doll.
Deidara-san looked down at me, a smile on his face.
"Of course, un… we don't want to keep anything from you, un…" He kissed my forehead gently. "We'll just… live, un."
And so we did.
AN: Reviews are love, loves. Hope you liked.
Doll Sasori will come up somewhere in my fanfictions again. Don't worry. (: