Deleted Fanfic Scenes of GR!
The Forgotten, Cut-Out, Or Useless Moments we Didn't use
General Rage places the camera on to himself and his comfy chair
"Hello fans of my dangerous yet entertaining movies and fanfics, welcome to my first ever appearance in months doing something productive." He says "I've been preoccupied in the past few months doing other stuff that is far less important. For example I had to take an exam in order renew my diplomatic immunity card. Also there was something involving giant wasps, don't remember."
General Rage continues on as he pulls up a projector from the ground and puts it on his desk.
"Anyway on to the meat of this production." He explains "You see, during the editing phase somethings get cut out because in the long run we realise they were sucky ideas or we just didn't have time to get them right. In any case I've compiled all of the un-used ideas from my past adventures. Meaning this is a stupid clip show, but hey what ya gonna do about it?"
The projector turns on.
"Back in the beginning days we were making those crappy political movie parodies." GR begins "It was all in an effort to explain to you folks that politics and movies don't mix well... in fact they rarely do. During the course of the production we were forced to cut a few things out of the fanfic. Lets begin with a scene from chapter one, 'Of Vendettas and Diaries', our parody on the crappy explosion flick/Pro-Terrorism movie 'V For Vendetta.' The movie's stupid plot and shallow view of the world was a critique on social injustice and Facist dictator regimes in a big brother dystopian future. But no one cares about that, its an explosion flick. Thats the only reason people went to see it. However in the movie to try and give the film 'SOME' kind of plot they decided to have social commentary on todays events. War in Iraq, Bush doctrine, yada, yada, yada. Now I could've put that in, but I decided to take the high ground and try and keep myself from making Bush jokes. They were good at first, then they started getting 'yawn' because everyone was using them. Be original people. In any case here's a deleted scene involving Raven visiting an underground rebel museum of former protestor artifacts."
We're shown on the projector Raven following Speedy as they enter from a dark hall into a brightly lit cavern of thousands upon thousands of protest signs.
Raven: Wow, this is total excess. Where'd you get all these?
Speedy: Well I started shifting through some trash at a landfill eventually these things popped up. Since they're illegal I've been collecting them ever since.
Raven: Why?
Speedy: Because they're illegal and collecting them means I'm in defiance of the government!
Raven: So is this all you do all day? Go through old trash and find old protest signs? If you wanna be in defiance of the government why not try and actually change the government by protesting yourself? Try and take to the streets, get involved in peaceful and non-violent protest.
Speedy: Because then they'd shoot me!
Raven: Didn't stop people in South Africa from speaking out against Apartheid.
Speedy: Yeah well, what did they accomplish?
Raven: They got people to recognize the government as corrupt and forced the international community to act.
Speedy: Boring! Why work to change the world when you can have fun collecting old forms of desent instead?
Raven: (Sarcastic) Oh yes, I can't possibly argue with that logic.
Speedy: Let me show you my collection. Theres a sign that says 'No Blood for Oil' very popular back then. Theres another that says 'Support our Troops, Bring them Home.' Here's one that says 'America needs a Regime change.'
Raven: Whats this one?
(Speedy looks a large banner thats says 'Support Armed Resitance against America!')
Speedy: Oh that one... yeah thats the wall of the more extreme messages.
Raven: Why extreme?
Speedy: Well theres a few that depict Isreal and the Jews as Nazis, some calling for Intifada, others supporting Hamas, some Anarchist litrature books, a few Pro-Communist flyers-
Raven: Do you agree with any of that?
Speedy: No, its just these signs were in the same pile and I figured it was best to give the full picture of what the protestors were like. Besides some of these are rare. I even found the burnt effigy of a US soldier.
Raven: Well thats a little wrong. I mean, disliking the government is one thing, but wishing for your soldiers deaths... doesn't seem right.
Speedy: Yeah I know, but hey someone's gotta collect them. Otherwise they'd just become mulch.
Raven: Considering the content that would be more then a generous fate for these things.
(Slade appears on set)
Slade: Hey wanna add my sign to the wall?
(Slade holds up sign claiming that Jews were behind 9/11)
Speedy: No... even I have boundaries.
Slade: Oh so its okay to have Anti-Semitism from some left wing hippies but when I, a Nazi underground resistance member try and put one up everyone gets all defensive!
Raven: Yep, that was the same reasoning used back then. Now go away, General Rage fired you remember
Slade: HA! He's on lunch break! He'll never find out I snuck back on set!
(Alarm goes off)
Computer Voice: Warning! Warning! Unauthorized Acting! Security Bots have been activated! Deadly Force allowed!
(Security Bots come on stage and begin shooting at Slade. He's run off set by the automatons leaving Raven and Speedy dazed)
Raven: Well this has been a stupid visit, I'm leaving.
Speedy: But I haven't even shown you my room full of BushHitler pictures!
Raven: Not interested!
(Raven leaves through tunnel)
The projector shuts off
"I had to cut that out cause my lawyers said the security bots weren't sanctioned by law... but they are now!" Rage tells us "Our next clip comes from the chapter that covered the JFK movie. There were a few things I wanted to add but had no time for. Mainly a parody of the scene from the original film that had Garrison running for his pathetic life because he was paranoid someone was out to kill him. Yeah, I'll let you decide whats really going on here."
Projector turns on and we see Robin in his business suit in the airport walking through the terminal, suddenly a guy comes running up to him.
Unknown Guy: Hey, are you Mr. Grayson? The guy whose trying to bring the people who killed JFK to justice?
Grayson: Yep, thats me.
Unknown: Listen I'm a high paid official in the secret service. Theres a plan to kill you between here and New Orleans, you gotta get out of here.
Grayson: Listen pal, I'm not interested in you mocking me. Get lost.
Unknown: Its the truth! You gotta believe me!
Grayson: I choose not to. Bye!
Grayson is shown continuing on his way through the airport while his thoughts are played before us in a inner monologue.
"That guy must think I'm an idiot. As if the government would ever let some smhuck get away and tell me their plans. Wait a sec... maybe thats their plan, to freak me out and get me to drop the case. No I'm not gonna let them get away with that. Unless, thats what they're planning on me thinking, in other words they think I'm gonna think that this is all a scare tactic and brush it off so the next time a hit squad gets called up and someone tries to warn me I won't believe them! I gotta keep my eyes open. Hell they could be trying to do that right now. I gotta get out of here!"
Robin picks up speed as he runs through the terminal looking around totally freaked out. Suddenly he hears a voice from behind.
Guy in black suit and sunglasses: Hey! Sir! Hey!
Grayson: Good god.
Grayson breaks into a run speeding through several people and travellers.
Suit: HEY WAIT!
Grayson: Gotta keep running! Can't let him catch me or I'm dead!
Grayson knocks over a display of cans and keeps rushing through the terminal. He gets outside to the parking lot and tries to start the car as the suit gets closer. Eventually it starts up and Grayson prepares to leave the airport parking lot, but is stopped short at the enterance by a
'road crew" working there. All Road Crew members are blue faced, have stop signs and wear big brown overcoats with fedoras on
"Road Crew Worker": (Monotone) We are the road crew. We work on the road.
Grayson: You gotta let me through! Theres a man after me!
"Road Crew Worker": (Monotone) Sorry, but permitance to this area is only allowed to those of the the road crew.
Grayson: But I need to get through!
"Road Crew Worker": (Monotone) You are not of the road crew. We are the road crew. We work here on the road with our red signs.
Grayson: Why can't you just let me leave!?
"Road Crew Worker": (Monotone) That information is classified... to the road crew. Please move along.
Grayson: I can't believe this!
"Road Crew Worker": (Monotone) Look at that Women's breasts. They are large.
Suddenly the suit taps on Grayson's window. Knowing this could be the end, Grayson opens his window. The suit reaches into his coat and pulls out... a passport.
Suit: Sir you dropped your passport.
Grayson: Oh thank you then.
Grayson takes the passport and the suit walks away. Grayson settles down in his chair. We then cut back to the Unknown guy sitting with his friend.
Unknown: Hey Bill, I totally got that loser New Orleans lawyer.
Bill: No way! What did you do Ted?
Ted: I like totally scamed him that the government was gonna like waste him.
Bill: Awesome prank man!
Ted: No not awesome... excellent!
(Both do air guitar move)
Projector shuts off and we go back to General Rage.
"If you don't get the 'Road Crew' joke play the video game Psychonauts or at least look it up. You'll understand then." GR explains "Our next scene was from the Rambo parody chapter. I decided to try and parody two Vietnam movies at once with a particular scene... but it never met the cut. Here it is restored to its full glory!"
We are shown a scene where Robin in his Rambo outfit and Blackfire are on their boat suddenly they hear something.
Inner Monologue: At first, I thought they handed me the wrong dossier. I couldn't believe they wanted this man dead. Third generation West Point, top of his class. Korea, Airborne. About a thousand decorations. Etc, etc...
Robin: The hell is that?
Robin looks over the side as does Blackfire and they see a small patrol boat pass them by. The crew aboard the patrol boat is confused as much as the pirates and our heroes are. The guy holding the dossier at the front of the ship walks up to their side.
Willard: Umm... are we still in the 1960's?
Robin: No, off by 20 or so years I'm afraid.
Willard: Damn, guys we're in the 80's.
Chef: Damn it! How'd that happen?
Willard: Time warp I guess. Sorry for parading in on your movie.
Robin: No problem.
Willard: Say uh... just a question. Whose the President now?
Robin: Former actor Ronald Reagan.
Willard sits down physichally shaken and his boat now plods off into the distance. The words "The Horror, The Horror" can be heard.
Blackfire: That guy looked a lot like the dude who played Greg Stillson in 'Dead Zone.'
Robin: I think I remember him from 'Wall Street', but I don't recall the character.
Blackfire: Lets never disscuss this weird crap again.
Robin: Agreed.
"We had other ideas too," Rage says "all involving hippie deaths on the set of the Billy Jack parody. None of them were real however except when a bunch of radicals came on set and disrupted to picture, they had to be put down. Heres what basically happened, they came on, driving their 12 MPG van with stickers about saving the environment plastered all over the bumper. They started shooting into the air and asked us to help them blow up the Hoover Dam and destroy Las Vegas while a bunch of conservatives from their college campus were there. I had the security bots murder them and dispose of their bodies in a dumpster. They were tresspassing, I put signs up! Anyway I pretty much refuse to share any of the undocumented scenes from that movie, we were running long and no one would want to read that much. So lets skip to good old Matrix parodies!"
Projector rolls and we see Beast Boy clad in leather entering the lobby, he puts his bag on the x-ray machine which has dynamite sticking out of the corner and walks through the terminal which beeps.
RentaCop: Please put any watches or change in this box (holds up box) thats how I feed my family.
Beast Boy opens up coat and a dozen weapons all fall to the floor, including AKs, 9Mils, 50 Cal. Machine Gun and a Bazooka. The RentaCop gives him the eyebrow.
BB: (Chuckles) I honestly have no idea how I got all that in there... I swear.
Suddenly BB picks up several guns and starts shooting madly into the crowd destroying the lobby and killing everyone. Raven comes up next to him.
Raven: You know, we could have just gone in through the back.
BB: This is way more funner.
Raven: Men.
"We wanted to do more with the Matrix, but budget cuts screwed us immensely," Rage explains "We totally had a scene where Beast Boy says 'I know Kung Fu' but someone misplaced the clip I swear.
BB is shown convulsing on a table before he opens his eyes.
BB: I know kung fu.
Morph-Borg: Whoop Dee Do, give yourself a medal. Everyone knows kung fu now so shut up, you're not special.
BB: My mom says I'm special.
Morph-Borg: Your mom is a friggin machine creating fields of mass produced babies inside jellatin food snack ball things. Her opinion is crap.
BB: You people are jerks.
Morph-Borg: Shut up, you try living in the sewers of a dystopian future, it ain't fun.
"We also tried to have the burly brawl... but thats hard to write."
Slade comes towards BB in the playground.
Agent Wilson: Mr. Logan, surprised to see me?
BB: You were in the trailer.
Agent Wilson: Shut up, don't ruin my super cool moment, now my clones are gonna totally gang bang you to a pulp.
BB: Eww.
Agent Wilson: Just sit back and accept it.
BB: No way.
Agent Wilson: Fine, die then.
Clone agents rush out to Attack BB but they all start getting pummeled.
"That's as far as that scene went." Rage tells us "After that they kicked us out of the park, bastards.Well doesn't matter. We also have a deleted scene from the famous Retro Vortex at the end of 'Teen Titans Go Retro' have a peek."
Announcer's voice comes on the screen as we close in on an ancient Mayan temple.
Announcer: If adventure has a name it must be...
All Titans come rushing out of the temple dressed in a fedoras and a trenchcoat being chased by a giant boulder.
Announcer: Certainly not these guys
Robin: This sucks ass!
BB: Why couldn't it have just been snakes! Snakes I can handle! I can become one!
Cyborg: Why would you put that in there anyway!
Raven: Wait a sec, me, Starfire and Beastboy can fly... why are we running?
Star: I cannot leave Robin.
Raven: Figures.
BB: Were's Aqualad?
Aqualad hangs suspended over a lava pit while a scary guy with cow's skull over his head chants evily.
Aqualad: Oh crap, I knew should've joined the cult that wasn't pro-human sacrafice.
General Rage comes back on.
"Well thats all for now folks," GR says "if you're wondering when my next big interesting fanfic that has an actual storyline comes out don't worry. It'll be... eventually. In the meantime I'll scower the archives for some more outtakes, bye for now."
END