Just a Mirror in Their Eyes
By: Song
Summary: He was who they saw. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Warnings: Angst, HBP spoilers
A/U: An enormous thanks to Go Vi, who's review of 'They Didn't Know' sparked this story. I hope you enjoy this :)
With a sigh Severus Snape fell upon the hard bed occupying the small shack called 'his own'. It was the end of yet another day in the never ceasing tempest called life.
It hurt to be no one.
Of course, being no one, he could feel no pain.
Perhaps if he had been a someone, an anyone even, then he could really live. Not just exist, as the
broken shell of a man.
Or was it just a broken shell?
Did he even hold the title of ...human?
Did he even earn the title of a shell?
No, he did not want to think about this.
Being alone in a house with no one but yourself for company makes one start to think. A dangerous and painful thing. And when you try to not think about something, it eventually ends up dominating you''re thoughts.
So why go through the anguish of waiting, and embrace the inevitable.
He was who he was; because of why he was.
Ever since his mother had died, Severus the person had ceased to exist. The assurance that he was acatually wanted, needed, loved, was what had created him this person in the first place.
And when his mother died, so did it.
Then his father had started abusing him. He had become the disappointment that Tobias saw him as.
When Lucius had met the small sniffling half-blood and taken him in, he became the small boy with the manipulative 'friend'.
When the sorting hat been placed upon his head, he had become the student with no place in the world.
When he had stalked over to the green and silver adorned table, he had become the prejudice Slytherin that everyone hated.
When Professor Slughorn had exclaimed at the promise the small boy in the corner showed, he had become the potions protege.
When James Potter had sent that first hex after insulting him, he had become the person everyone stepped on.
When Lily Evans had tried to help this unwanted outcast, he became a goal.
When Sirius Black had taunted him into going into the shrieking shack to learn the answer to a curiosity that didn't exist, he had become the cat about to be killed.
When the Marauders had exposed him to the whole fifth year, he had become the laughed at misfit.
When Lucius had taken him to Lord Voldemort, he had become the mindless, soulless lapdog of the dark.
When he had been captured and put in Azkaban, he became just another faceless inmate.
When Albus Dumbledore had fought the inmate's way out of jail, he became the hated ex-death eater.
When he was asked to spy for the light, he had become the cold untouchable double-agent.
When he was offered a position in a school, he had become the desperate man needing a job.
When he started the job as the desperate man without a clue, he had become a newbie teacher.
When he had set foot into the stingy rooms at the bottom of the castle with dark robes and pale complexion, he had become the most feared teacher in the school.
When Harry Potter had first looked at him after the sorting feast, he had become the tormentor of a small boy.
When he had saved the boy's life, he had become the guilty criminal.
When he had affronted Quirrel, became the suspicion player.
When he had protected three young students from a werewolf and convicted criminal, he had
become the concerned adult.
When the criminal had escaped, he had become the outraged grudge holder.
When Harry Potter had come into his office to learn occlumancy, he became the heartless slave
driving mentor.
When he had learned of the vision the boy had been sent, he became the message carrier.
When he had made the unbreakable vow with Narcissa Malfoy, he had become the accomplice.
When the headmaster had told him to go through with the vow, he had become the obedient servant.
And when he had cast the bright green killing curse at his old headmaster, he had become the traitor.
No. Nothing really controlled his life, or lack there of.
He was just who they saw.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
Fin