Disclaimer: I don't own Spiral: Suiri no Kizuna because I'm not that goddamned brilliant and I never liked Physics ANYWAY! And I certainly don't own 'Twinkle My Heart' because I could never make such a simplistic and at the same time beautiful song. Neither do I own Franz Liszt or his book, "Harmonies poétiques et religieuses." Nor do I own the melody, "Bénédiction de Dieu dans la Solitude".
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The Blessing of God in SolitudeSummary: (One-shot) Hiyono drags Ayumu along to view a field of irises at night. Can Ayumu look past despair? (AyumuxHiyono) (After the anime. Spoilers concerning end of anime.)
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Why was I born…?
More than anything, he wanted to cook. He was happy with cooking, and cleaning, and even playing the piano. They were the three essentials of his life. He was content.
Ayumu gazed up at the sky, raising a hand to block the sun's rays from entering his eyes. Why was I born…? If they were so happy with Aniki, what reason was there for me to exist…?
His conclusion: he was an accident. He wasn't meant to be born, but his parents had decided, hell, why not? Maybe this one will be even better.
And he wasn't.
A copy of his brother, in every way – that's what he turned out to be. Maybe it was because even before he could develop any skills, they oohed and aahed over his brother instead, not nurturing any potential.
It wasn't modesty when he said it was nothing, that anyone could have figured it out. Because anyone could have figured it out. Compared to his brother, especially, it was really nothing.
After all, Kiyotaka was…
"Na-ru-mi-san!" someone sang happily, and a shadow was cast over his tired body.
Ayumu sat up and sighed, looking up indifferently at the girl. "You again. What now?" It had been a while since the Blade Children had disappeared from Tsukiomi. And while Ayumu expected that he would be able to take his usual naps on the school rooftop in peace, he instead found that he was constantly bothered by none other than…her.
She pouted and stood up straight, causing her golden-brown hair to sway forward. "Don't you remember?" the girl asked, her eyes locked onto him.
"Remember…?" he echoed, staring up cluelessly. He drew a knee in to rest a hand on. "I'd remember if you told me."
Yuizaki Hiyono put her hands on her hips and glared down at the boy in front of her. "You promised me you'd take me to that place today…"
He fell silent, running the week's events through his head. Finally, rocking back onto both his palms, Ayumu declared, "I made no such promise. What information do you have? Come to think of it…" He raised an eyebrow. "…is there anything to give me information about?"
Hiyono smiled and dropped to her knees, leaning forward to Ayumu's ear. "If you don't…I'll make sure everyone knows about the time…"
His eyes widened, and he crawled backwards, away from her. "O-okay! Okay, we'll go!" Still as scary as ever, Ayumu thought, shivering and rising to his feet. "There's no need to take such drastic measures…"
She giggled as she rose to her feet. Beaming at him, Hiyono sang, "But we've been a couple for a while now and you haven't taken me anywhere…"
"Couple?" he repeated, backing up more, only to run into the fence. Damn school roof has to have a fence. I'd rather just fall a three stories down to my death. "Wh-when did this happen?" He immediately regretted asking.
Dabbing at her eye with a tissue, Hiyono sobbed, "Narumi Ayumu…is…horrible. He's such a…a…and…and by the way, EVERYONE!"
"NO!" Ayumu dashed forward and covered her mouth. "Quiet! Quiet! Let's just go already!" he hissed, yanking her to her feet and dragging her down the stairs. "Really, you're a pain…"
Hiyono was beside him now, smiling. "I try to be!"
"You…do realize what you said, right?"
"AAAAH! HIYONO PUNCH!!!"
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(FLASHBACK)
"Irises, huh?" He gazed at the field thoughtfully and sat down on the blanket. "You know I don't like them…"
"But they're pretty!" Hiyono insisted, sitting beside him and handing him a box. "I know I'm not a very good cook, but I tried my extra hardest!"
Ayumu opened it and took out the chopsticks. "Itadakimasu," he mumbled, taking a bite. He stopped as the tip of the chopsticks entered his mouth, and let his eyes slide to the left to look at Hiyono. Great, she's watching me…
"Well…?"
He chewed, slowly, with his eyes closed. The rice was slightly undercooked; Ayumu could barely tell. The vegetables, on the other hand, were completely overcooked, turning into mush in his mouth. He couldn't help but smile as he swallowed.
"Aaaah! You're smiling! Which means the heavenly flavor of my food has finally warmed –"
"Not at all," he murmured, putting the bento down. "Your rice is undercooked, your vegetables are overcooked, and I know the curry was done from an instant curry mix just by looking at it. You didn't cook the fish either; someone made it for you."
"You're infuriating!" Hiyono whined. "Just when I make a lunch for you –"
"I never asked you to," he pointed out, falling back on the blanket.
"– you insult my cooking, my love –"
"Stop blabbing," Ayumu muttered, shutting his eyes and lacing his fingers together behind his head. "Let me sleep."
"Hey…Narumi-kun…?"
Silence.
"Do you think…you…we," she corrected herself. "Do you think we could…go out?"
"Hm," he mumbled, already half-asleep.
"There's this place I want to go to," Hiyono whispered softly as a breeze passed them, carrying her words to Ayumu's ears.
Ayumu was fast asleep now, his ears deaf to Hiyono's words as she spoke, closing his bento and putting it away before adjusting the parasol to cast a shade over them both.
"I don't think…I want to go to it…with anyone else," she whispered, lying down on her side, staring thoughtfully at him.
(END FLASHBACK)
Ayumu lurched forward at the memory and Hiyono smiled inwardly. "Now do you remember?" she asked, pretending to frown at him.
He let out a heavy sigh. "But that doesn't mean we're a couple."
As he expected, she giggled. "Doesn't it sound so much more meaningful, though?" she asked. It was a girl thing, he decided.
…or maybe a 'Hiyono' thing…? Ayumu frowned, wondering which it was. He never really talked to many girls…or anyone, for that matter…and he didn't want to ask Hiyono. She would just use one of her dolls to punch him.
"Well…?"
She looked at him with that carefree smile on her face. "Hm?"
"Where do you want to go?" Ayumu clarified, looking up at the sky.
"Well…first, I want to go try that new wasabi tea," Hiyono confessed. "And I wanted another nattou pumpkin squid-ink strawberry parfait deluxe."
He suppressed a sigh. "My treat, of course," he muttered, feeling around in his pocket and then straightening. "Or not. We'll have to stop by my place first. I left my wallet at home."
Hiyono just beamed. "As long as it's your treat!"
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"AYUMU!!!"
"What is it, Nee-san?" Ayumu sighed as Hiyono followed him, stopping when he did, moving when he did, always smiling when he looked over his shoulder. "Ignore her."
"Hah? Weird song girl," Madoka mumbled, staring at Hiyono in surprise and nearly dropping the pillow in her hand. It was her day off from work and she was taking full advantage of it. Not having to wake up early, she woke up sometime at lunch only to find breakfast and lunch waiting for her in the fridge. She was still in her pajamas with a bathrobe thrown hastily over, not even tied properly.
"Hello!" Hiyono offered a cheerful wave before beaming at Ayumu. "Come on, Narumi-san! Hurry, hurry!"
Madoka grinned and neared Ayumu. "Are you two going somewhere?" she asked, snickering. "Like…on a date…? I always knew you had it in you…gyuhyuhu…"
"No, it's not a date," Ayumu said indifferently, only to invoke the wrath of both women.
Madoka threw the pillow at him (and he was thankful it was just a pillow, because it hit him square in the face). "BE A LITTLE MORE SENSITIVE!"
As usual, Hiyono depended on her puppet punching skills. "HIYONO PUNCH! WHAT IF I WERE SOME OTHER GIRL WHO GOT MY HOPES UP?"
"YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET A GIRL LIKE THAT, AYUMU!"
"NARUMI-SAN!"
That's enough, Ayumu thought, shutting the door behind him and looking around his room. He located the wallet on his desk and retrieved it, then leaned against the door as he emitted a sigh. The mystery of the Blade Children was one thing, but crazy women were another.
He knew he'd never understand the latter for sure.
"Ayumu!" Madoka snapped, knocking viciously on the door. "Open up, now!"
I'm getting old, Ayumu realized, letting out a sigh. He felt drained of all his vitality, talking to those two. One at a time was bad enough. Ayumu threw the door open and walked out, heading straight for the door while slouching. "Come on, hurry up."
"Oh! Right!" Hiyono waved to Madoka. "Good bye, Nee-san!"
Madoka just laughed. "Don't stay out too long on your date, Ayumu! And you can call me Madoka, weird song girl!"
"It's Hiyono!" Hiyono replied, not seeming to care. The minute the door shut behind her, she pouted. "It's not a weird song!"
Ayumu continued forward silently, stuffing his hands in his pocket. "Hey…"
She caught up to him, having fallen behind. "Yes…?" Hiyono asked, leaning forward slightly to catch the look on his face.
The boy looked at her for a brief second before turning away. "Nothing," he finally said, looking up at the sky. "Why do you try to eat such weird foods?" he asked instead, bracing himself for an attack, but nothing came. He sent Hiyono a look, becoming worried, although he wouldn't show it.
"I…I'm used to it," Hiyono confessed, beaming up at the sky. "It's nice to try new things once in a while!"
Whatever. She's as strange as I concluded. Ayumu opened his mouth and let out a sigh as they stopped in front of the tiny café. "Wasabi tea and the weird parfait?" he confirmed, turning to look at her. I should have enough money…
"Yes! I'll go get a table!" Hiyono said, briskly entering the café and walking up and down the place until she discovered all the seats were taken. "Ah! Tsukiomi students!"
I don't want to know, Ayumu thought, feeling the chills overcome him. He really did pity them, as he watched the three boys run off, leaving behind their food. She was absolutely frightening, that Yuizaki Hiyono. "You didn't need to do that," he mumbled, taking a seat across from her. The shivers took a hold of him again as he noticed the stares they received. Her. Of all the girls I have to know…HER.
The waitress had cleared the table of the food left by the previous students and came back to get their orders. They ordered the wasabi tea for both of them (after much debating, Hiyono managed to 'convince' Ayumu into trying it himself) and the parfait for Hiyono. Ayumu looked out the window while Hiyono happily hummed to herself.
"You just wanted to come here?" he finally asked, watching the wind push the clouds by. It was calming; he wished his life were as carefree as that.
"Nope!" Hiyono smiled at him. "I just wanted to try the tea!"
Silence kicked in, until Hiyono asked in a quiet murmur, "Have you…ever been in love?"
Ayumu looked up in surprise, jaw dropped.
"Here's your order." The waitress placed down the cups with the customary smile and left. Ayumu, too shocked, kept silent while Hiyono thanked the woman.
"Well, what are you so surprised about?" Hiyono grumbled. "It's not that scary a question!"
"B-but what with your…extensive information network…and you don't know if…" The shivers ran down his spine again, and he shut up. She was going to threaten him if he continued, he knew it. Instead, he shrugged. "I guess…"
"'Guess…'?" Hiyono repeated, glaring at him. "It's no wonder you can't get a girl!"
"I haven't been trying to get a girl," Ayumu pointed out. "I've been trying to sleep on the roof of the school, but someone keeps interrupting me."
The girl looked curious. "Oh, really? Who?"
He looked from one side to another before leaning forward and whispering, "You might want to take note of this…"
She already had a pencil and notebook in hand. She was scary, that Yuizaki Hiyono.
"…that someone who keeps interrupting me…"
"Yeah…?" Hiyono nodded, scribbling onto the paper.
Is there anything to write down? "…is…"
"Yes…?" More furious scribbles.
"…you."
"You," Hiyono repeated, looking up at Ayumu, then down at her notebook before jumping out of her seat and yelling at him. "THAT ISN'T FUNNY!"
He was back to looking out of the window. It isn't supposed to be. "It's the truth."
Hiyono collapsed back into her seat with a sigh. "Well…"
"Are you going to start on your tea, or did I waste money on you?"
"Hah?" Hiyono gazed down at the parfait and tea in front of her. "Well…which one should I start on?"
This is going to take forever, Ayumu realized as Hiyono kicked him under the table repetitively, urging him to choose for her. With a sigh, he took a sip of his own wasabi tea. This…actually isn't so bad. "Shut up and start on the parfait." It's not wasabi, of course. This flavor…who cares. I'm never drinking it again.
"The tea it is!" Hiyono decided, picking up the cup and draining it in one gulp.
No, no, don't even realize the fact that I suggested you start on the parfait. Ayumu stared at her and shook his head. "And…I'm just going to assume you aren't trying to get a boy."
"HAH? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
He pointed to her empty teacup. "I don't know…if that's what you'd call…attractive…"
"HIYONO PUNCH!" The doll flew off her hand and hit the seat instead – Ayumu had ducked.
The stares were focused on him again when he sat up. Embarrassed, Ayumu sank under the table. Crazy girl…
-S-P-I-R-A-L-H-I-M-A-W-A-Y-
"Narumi-san, this way!"
"It's past nine, Hiyono. All the kindergarteners are asleep; you should be, too," Ayumu murmured.
"HIYONO PUNCH!"
The rabbit puppet hit the bench; Ayumu had barely ducked in time. He looked to the side grumpily. "Don't you have homework?"
"Gyuhyuhyu…"
Oh, wait…she has dirt on the teachers, too. Ayumu sat up with a sigh. "Never mind." He looked around. "So? What are we waiting for?"
"Remember…that field of irises?" Hiyono asked quietly. "I wanted to see it…at night." She drew a breath and puffed up her cheeks, waiting for a retort. Seconds passed, and Hiyono, now red, exhaled and gasped for breath.
"Don't do stupid things," Ayumu said instead, looking indifferently at the tracks.
"HIYONO PUNCH!"
That one hit its mark. Ayumu tilted to the side from the blow. "Ow," he muttered blandly. "That hurt."
"You have no enthusiasm!" Hiyono huffed. "That's your problem!"
He nodded, his eyelids slipping shut a bit. Maybe he was the kindergartener. But then, a day with Hiyono was tiring, after all, especially when everything was his treat. His wallet was near empty. "Hey…"
"Uh?" She fell silent immediately, and turned to him, surprised by his…almost…gentle…? Yes. His gentle tone. It was different, Hiyono observed, from the indifferently caustic remarks he usually made.
"Shut up for a while and wake me up when it comes," Ayumu mumbled, closing his eyes.
A soft smile formed on Hiyono's lips. Some people never change, she thought, pursing her lips together, then breaking into her song. "Mado no soto, kira kira kira ri…"
Ayumu kept his eyes shut, listening to the words.
"Dareka ga mahou no tsue wo futtano
sore wa koi no mahou
yume iro no jikan…"
"'A dream-colored time'," Ayumu repeated softly, sitting up and opening his eyes. He paid no heed to the fact that her eyes were on him, somewhat startled. "Now shut up. I'm tired." He let his head fall onto her shoulder, turning it in somewhat. He didn't know what he was doing. He was just tired. And it comforted him.
Hiyono forced herself to relax as his head hit her shoulder, causing the brown strands of his hair to brush up against her neck. A faint blush covered her cheeks as she recalled what had happened last time. It's not like we're together, anyway, she chided herself, shyly casting him a sideways glance.
His eyes were shut, his breathing even. She could feel the soft exhales even through the material that covered her arms. Hiyono shivered involuntarily and looked away.
Please, Ayumu. I hope you'll agree…because even now, I still want you to believe in yourself. Hiyono smiled to herself, softly, and looked at the hands that squeezed each other tightly in her lap. "Awayuki ga fuwa fuwa fuwa ri…"
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He stood there, hands in his pockets as the overlooked the field of irises. He never liked irises. They reminded him of Kiyotaka. And Kiyotaka reminded him of Madoka. And Madoka…
…she was the one who had suffered the most when he had disappeared.
Ayumu gazed at the ground. "'Happiness of the Believer,' huh?" he muttered, eyes focusing unhappily onto the rows of purple flowers.
"Ayumu-kun?"
Startled, he looked to his right. He had almost forgotten Hiyono was with him. He scowled slightly and looked back at the flowers. "Don't call me that…" But it was difficult for him to sound convincing. It sounded mellifluous, coming from her. Almost anything did. And yet she was such a scary girl, that Yuizaki Hiyono.
Hiyono smiled and clasped her hands behind her back. "Ayumu-kun," she repeated softly. "Is it…okay if I call you that from now on?"
He was silent. "If…you're done looking at the flowers, we should be heading back home, now. Even if you can blackmail the teacher, the only way I can take my naps without getting complaints from teachers is if I do my homework and ace my tests." Ayumu turned around with an unreadable expression appearing on his face. He stopped, then turned around, feeling shivers run through him. "Wh-what now?"
Hiyono giggled darkly. "So you can cook at home for Madoka nee-san, you always finish your homework in class," she told him, raising a finger in the air and pointing it at him. "You don't have any homework!"
Grumbling, Ayumu looked away. "You just want to look at a field of flowers in the night. What's so interesting about it?" he asked instead.
"There's a house over there," Hiyono informed him, standing beside him, facing the same direction he was, and pointing ahead. "It's open to visitors, but no one ever goes there. I managed to persuade the caretaker in lending me the keys for tonight!"
"Eh…what for?" Spooky girl, Ayumu thought, feeling the shivers run through him again. She can get all this information on the most insignificant of people…
There was silence.
"Hey…what for?" Ayumu asked again.
"You'll see when we get there," Hiyono finally exclaimed, briskly walking forward.
What's with her? He shrugged it off and followed her. "Hey…"
"Why don't you ever say my name?" Hiyono suddenly asked, turning to look at him. She was doing her best to look curious, but even in the dark, Ayumu wasn't stupid enough to ignore the hurt look she was trying to hide.
It was true. There were many times when he could have said her name. To him, she wasn't just another 'that person.' And yet, even when he wanted to, her name couldn't escape his mouth.
Yuizaki Hiyono.
"Well…?"
Even the shadows of the night couldn't hide him. They couldn't hide her, either, but he didn't think she was trying to hide. They walked the rest of the way in silence, careful not to step in the flowers that were on either side of the path they walked.
It wasn't too large of a cottage – the most it held was an attic, a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a living room. His deductions were on target – he confirmed them as he passed the doorway and shut the door behind him, watching Hiyono run to the center of the room and gesturing towards the grand piano that was there.
"Tada!"
Of course. He should have expected as much. Ayumu sat down in front of the piano without complaint. He owed her that much.
He hated the piano, too. The memories haunted him, always. Whatever melody his hands created was the same as Kiyotaka's. The notes, the execution…everything.
A mere shadow of his brother. An accident that was never supposed to happen.
His hands pushed the cover back and fell on the keys. "'Bénédiction de Dieu dans la Solitude,'" he whispered, before pressing down on the keys, playing bar after bar.
Hiyono watched in silence, standing by the window. A soft sigh escaped her, and she turned around, pressing her hands against the cool glass as she looked outside.
"It's really beautiful."
The music stopped, and Ayumu turned to look at her. Heart heavy, he rose to his feet and walked over to stand besides her, watching the fireflies dance along the purple-petaled irises. He smiled softly and took one of her hands into his, examining it.
"Ayumu-kun…?" Hiyono looked at him in surprise.
Long, slender fingers…they could adapt to the piano easily. "Why don't you try to play?" he suggested, yanking her gently towards the piano. Hiyono stumbled towards it, awkwardly sitting on the seat and looking at the ivory keys in silence. "Put your hands like this…" He stood behind her now, his hands on either side of hers, demonstrating where to place her hands. Ayumu moved forward to look over her right shoulder so as to get a better view of the keys. "…and then…"
He placed his hands over her own, guiding them from key to key as she awkwardly pressed them down, creating a staccato melody. Ayumu sighed softly, noticing her fingers were trembling. He confused her, that Yuizaki…
"Hiyono…"
She stopped and turned around in surprise, looking at him, shocked. "What –"
The proximity between them was…new. He leaned forward towards her, closing the distance between them. Her hands fell onto his chest, as if to stop him, and yet even she was moving towards him. They gravitated towards each other until their lips met and their eyes slipped shut.
His hands slipped off her shoulders, encircling her instead. Hiyono pushed away in surprise and gasped for air, staring at Ayumu in confusion. "Ayumu –"
No. He couldn't answer any questions yet. Ayumu turned around, the back of his hand rising to his forehead. Why? Why can't I do anything properly?
"Ayumu-kun…?" Hiyono rose to her feet and moved in front of him, leaning down and looking up to catch a glimpse of his face. "…You said my name…"
"I love you," Ayumu whispered his conclusion out loud, startling even himself. He stared at Hiyono in surprise, then smiled softly, seeing how happy she looked.
I don't care if that was a mess-up, he decided, pressing his lips against Hiyono's once more and letting his tongue delve past her lips, only to meet the slightly spicy tang of the wasabi tea.
That's right, he remembered, smiling against her lips. Hiyono had been relentless after he had insulted her, ordering quite a few more things. She had quite a few cups…
He pulled away and swallowed, awaiting her judgment. She was looking at him, eyes wide with amazement, and a bit of…fear…?
…He wondered if that was a good sign.
His eyes slipped shut.
Hiyono's hand cupped his cheek, pulling his head towards her so their lips met again, softly, chastely. "You're silly," she whispered, stepping closer to him. "You know what?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't want to go to school tomorrow." She grasped his hands in her own, lacing their fingers together. "Can we…spend tomorrow…together…? Alone?"
'Bénédiction de Dieu dans la Solitude': 'The Blessing of God in Solitude,' Ayumu thought, whispering Hiyono's name in her ear. "Of course," he whispered. "Hiyono."She smiled at him, content. And so the turtle finally came out of its shell. You really are one of a kind, Ayumu. I knew…you would…someday.
The fireflies danced outside, illuminating the window as they flew around the irises. At the piano sat the couple, absorbed with each other, one with the movements of the blessed prodigy, the other with the love offered by the believer.
"Well," Ayumu mumbled as they stood up to retreat to the bedroom. "I suppose that was okay…but I've seen better beginners."
"AUGH! HIYONO PUNCH!" Hiyono yelled, missing Ayumu altogether. "That isn't how you should talk to your girlfriend!" Angrily, she stormed to the bedroom and slammed the door.
Ah damn. The boy sighed and looked around. "'The Blessing of God in Solitude,' huh?" he whispered softly, taking a seat at the piano again. "Who says you need to be alone to receive a blessing from God?"
He had Hiyono, after all. Him. Narumi Ayumu, the screw-up, the mere boy who couldn't even reach the shadow of Kiyotaka.
For an accident, he was pretty goddamn blessed.
-S-P-I-R-A-L-T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R-
A/N-
I never liked my conclusions anyway. Sorry if you didn't like it either.
Good? Bad? Valid reasons? Opinions?
Review or Flame (at your own risk).