Loresta offered this wonderful plot bunny at Stealthy Stories board few months ago and I've finally able to put this short piece together. I would like to extend a heartfelt thanks to R.R. Ten'ou who skillfully beta-ed this story and gave me several great pointers. I learned a lot from her suggestions!
This is based on episode #26 of Mythbusters episodes (Salsa Escape).
Enjoy
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Raph scoffed at those who labeled him as a hothead – those who claimed him incapable of planning. This time, however, he had prepared and planned. He had worked hard to secure this post and he wasn't going to abandon it for anything. He surveyed his provisions laid in front of him. Hopefully they would help him keep the post for a long time. Raphael smiled triumphantly.
With a big bag of Jalapeno flavored nachos, a couple of two liters of Mountain Dew, and a bag of Skittles to round out the feast, he made himself comfortable on the couch right in front of the TV monolith in the lair. In his lap lay the most coveted item in the lair: the remote control.
Getting his hands on the remote wasn't easy, Raph had to admit. Everyday after their late dinner, Master Splinter would claim the remote for his daily 'stories'. After said stories were over and sensei retired for the evening, the remote was free for all. Leo wasn't much of a problem because the older brother had gone off on a training run by himself again. Don ambled off to his lab right after dinner. God knows when the science freak was going to come out once he holed himself up for the night. However, taking care of Mikey was not an easy task.
Mikey knew the routine and was often the winner of the battle, but today his careful planning had paid off. Raph looked around the perimeter just to be sure and strained his ears for any impending foot steps coming to take away his precious. He was greeted by a steady stream of soft curses coming from the kitchen and couldn't keep from chuckling as he brought up the mental image of Mikey - cleaning up the disaster in the kitchen. You see, Mikey's not the only one who knew how to press his brothers' buttons. Raph savored yet again his brilliance in how he took care of Mikey by suggesting a culinary challenge. Last evening, after having a particularly good brownie made by Mikey, he declared that Mikey is a good cook but probably not enough to do anything fancy. Mikey naturally bristled at it and asked anyone to suggest a challenge. Raph immediately grabbed the chance and told him to make a French dish, for example, "let say, soufflé". Well, this evening, Mikey tried to prove he's up to the task but unfortunately, it was indeed too much for Mikey and the soufflé blew up in the oven, spilling out onto the whole kitchen area.
With Mikey out of the picture, Raphael was sure nobody would challenge him tonight.
Raph clicked the television on with the remote and didn't waste any time switching to his favorite program to enjoy the spoils. Several days of thinking and searching for a perfect plan was all to enjoy the WWF Smackdown marathon without interruptions from Mikey, or anyone else for that matter, to his heart's content. Assured nobody was going to take away his remote, he sat the bag of nachos on the couch next to him and started watching.
His victory was short-lived.
Not even minutes into watching his program and suddenly someone tapped his shoulder from behind the couch.
"Bug off, Mikey. Don't you have soufflé to clean up in the kitchen?" Raph said, annoyed. He didn't even look back.
"Not Mikey, Raph. Can I watch something, please?" came Don's reply.
Raph was so taken back that he hastily turned to look at Don. "What are you doing here? Aren't you gonna hole up in the lab all night?"
"Well, yeah. I was trying to get some work done before my program comes on. Would you hand me the remote? It started 3 minutes ago", asked Don impatiently, walking around to the front of the couch.
"No", was Raph's resolute reply.
"Please?" Don added, a little bit more whine in his voice.
"No"
"Aw, come on. Don't be a grouch. You and Mikey always watch that stuff. You can go without it once in a while, right?"
"No! They are running back to back WWF episodes tonight. And they're gonna show some previews for next season. That, I don't wanna miss." Raph said, glaring at Don.
"Hmm, I saw that you dropped off your broken alarm clock on my workbench this morning. I am not sure if I have time to work on it tonight..." Don studied his nails nonchalantly.
"What?" Raph was perplexed by Don's remark. Then his brain caught up and he realized Don was blackmailing him. Incensed by Don's insinuation, he got up from the couch and yelled: "Why you little... You wanna see the business end of my knuckles?" He showed Don his clenched fist to demonstrate that this wasn't just all talk.
"No thanks," Don jumped a little out of Raph's range, not intimated by him at all.
Now it was Raph's turn to whine. "Don't be so low! You know I can't get up without that alarm clock in the morning!"
"Exactly. Well, what you gonna do? Get up late and face Master Splinter's wrath or watch what I want to watch?" asked Don, with a smug smile on his face, already knowing that the fight was over. "Besides, you are going to love what I am going to watch".
"Huh, is it another of those Mars Rover reports? It's getting old. I mean, how can you get excited about a machine drilling a small hole in a rock without killing itself from its own flying debris?" Raph huffed, wanting to prolong the inevitable.
"Trust me. You will like this one. It's on Discovery channel."
Raph wasn't convinced but he knew he didn't want to face Master Splinter's wrath any more than he needed to. He was already in hot water for going out with Casey last night so he didn't want to push his luck with Splinter. Reluctantly, he flipped the channel to Discovery. He held onto the remote though. He wasn't ready to give up his remote just yet.
"Don't be so confident, Don. If I don't like it, I'll flip it back to WWF. Got it?" grumbled Raph.
"OK, but I know you will like it", insisted Don.
So Raph steeled himself for another boring discovery channel documentary Don seemed to find so intriguing as he put it. Raph liked to think he had a good understanding of his brothers. After all, he lived with them for a good 16 years. Mikey could be a bit naive and overly cheerful for his liking, yet he had no problem getting into his head. As for Leo… Yeah, Leo was a pain in the ass, but Raph could understand him if he tried. But, Don, he was in a different dimension altogether. Raph wondered if he'd ever understand Don.
On TV, a couple of guys, looking as geeky as
they come, were talking about removing dried up cement in a cement
truck. 'Hmm, what's so exciting about that?' thought Raph. Loosing
his interest, his mind started to wonder to what he was currently
missing on WWF when all of sudden a loud boom from the TV shook Raph
out of his reverie.
"What the heck are they doing with that
truck?" Raph looked at Don, whose eyes were glued to the TV
screen.
"They just set off a cherry bomb inside the truck. A big noise but not sure if that did much damage... Hmm, doesn't look it did," explained Don.
As Raph looked on incredulously, the Myth Busters crew proceeded to put more illegal fireworks inside the truck. "Tell me why they're doing this again?" asked Raph, trying to make sense of what's he saw.
"I knew you'd be interested," Don quickly lost his smirk by Raph's withering expression, taking a hint that he'd better not push any further. "Well, these guys, Jamie and Adam, as the program's name suggests, try to prove whether a myth is true or not. In this one, they are trying to prove a myth that a bomb can remove cement dried in the cement truck. They are starting with a smaller bomb first, until they find one that will prove the myth. Look, now they are gonna set off bigger bomb than the last one". With that Don shut up and turned his attention to the TV again, waving to Raph to sit back and enjoy.
Yet again, a satisfying boom resonated from the TV and yet again the crews and the turtles were dismayed by lack of results.
"So, what are they gonna do now?" asked Raph in anticipation despite himself.
"Shh, watch," was all Don said, his attention solely on the TV screen.
Raph couldn't believe it when the crew set off a stick and a half of dynamite. "Damn, they are gonna blow that truck to pieces if they keep it up! They're crazy!".
"Heh heh, you are not the only crazy person in the world, you know," said Don, sparing a quick glance at Raph.
"Who are you calling crazy, you bozo?" countered Raph, punching Don lightly on his arm, playfully. 'Who knew I would like watching what Don likes' thought Raph. 'Maybe there we're not so different after all'.
In a comfortable silence, Don and Raph continued to watch how far Myth Busters were going to go with their explosions.
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Splinter was enjoying a session of quiet meditation when all of sudden he heard whoops and excited yelling of his adolescent turtles out in the living room.
"What are these kids doing now?" Any
excitement in the living area scared the rat despite his great
fighting skills. Excited turtles often meant disaster and cleaning up
after the mess literally and figuratively. Weary of thinking about
what could be out there to greet him, the rat dragged himself out of
his meditation and walked into the TV area of the lair.
He wasn't
surprised to find Raphael firmly planted in the couch in front of the
TV belting out a cheer and pumping his fist in the air in enthusiasm;
on the other hand, he was surprised to find the usually quiet and
calm Donatello planted right next to him doing the same. Pushing his
surprise aside, he cleared his throat loudly to get attention of the
pair of raucous young turtles.
"Ahem, what is the meaning of this disruptive behavior, my sons?"
As usual, the excited turtles were not mindful of their surrounding and hadn't even noticed that Splinter was standing right behind them. Surprised, the pair quickly turned around to face their sensei.
"Oh, hi, Sensei. Umm, oh. Oh, shoot, we didn't mean to disturb you." Donatello quickly assessed what happened and apologized, a bit red in his face due to embarrassment. Raph stood next to him silently.
Quickly glancing at the TV, Splinter noticed what was on the Discovery channel. Appeased that the kids weren't watching anything inappropriate, he waved his sons to settle down.
"Keep your voices down. You don't want to attract unwanted guests by your loud noise." cautioned the rat and the two turtles bobbed in agreement. Hoping that his warning was enough, Splinter started back to his room. Usually Michelangelo and Raphael were the more rambunctious ones and were exhausting for the rat to handle as it was. He had to wonder if Donatello was starting to join their ranks as he got older. Shuddering at the thought, the rat sat down to meditate on the new found issue.
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When Master Splinter went back into this room and closed his door, Raph and Don both sagged back in relief.
"That was way cool, Don. Talk about over the top! I can't say science is all boring anymore." exclaimed Raph, releasing his laughter he'd been holding because of Master Splinter. He was still excited from the total blow up of the truck by the Myth Busters.
"Heh, glad you liked it. Well, that's enough excitement for the day for me. I am going back to my lab and finish working on your alarm clock. Don't want you getting any more flack from Master Splinter."
"Later," said Raph as he watched Don walk over to his lab. "Hey, Don. Next week, same time?"
"Huh?" Don turned around in surprise. "Uh, yeah, sure!" agreed Don beaming, happy to find that Raph truly enjoyed the show. Don chuckled all the way to his lab thinking 'Who knew Raph and I had something in common?'
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the
very next week...
Mikey walked into the lair grumbling about how his bossy oldest brother wrangled him to go on a training run with him. He really wanted to catch up on some TV, but no. After some screw up during his sparring with Don in the dojo that morning, Leo wanted to make sure Mikey put some more training in. Mikey wondered if Don intentionally caused him to trip over but pointing that out to Leo just made Leo insist more on the extra training. He had to blame it on the bad turtle luck.
After pausing to hear Leo securing the front door, Mikey made a beeline for the couch.
When he got there, he was greeted with a very rare sight. 'When did Raph and Don watch the same TV program together?' Mikey inwardly asked himself. Curious about what they were watching, Mikey used his ninja stealth to sneak up on them.
On TV, two geeky guys were assembling some wacky apparatus, something that looked like what Don usually played around with in his lab. 'Hmm, I can definitely see Don watching this, but Raph?' Just as he was musing to himself, the geeky guys were now setting the apparatus on fire, and BOOM! The apparatus was flying into the air. Both Raph and Don cheered and high-fived each other.
Now very curious about the show, Mikey popped in front of the duo on the couch. "Hey guys, what'cha watching?"
"Myth Busters", came the chorus.
"A what busters?"
"Myth Busters! Move over, will you? You are blocking the TV!" exclaimed Don, trying to look around Mikey.
"But, you're watching Discovery Channel, Raph. Who are you? And what did you do with my brother?" asked Mikey, moving over to Raph to inspect him.
"Hey, quit it. Just sit down here and watch. You'll like it," assured Raph patting an empty spot on the couch next to him.
Not quite convinced, Mikey, however, complied and sat down next to him.
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A chorus of whoops and excited yells floated into Splinter's room where he was in deep meditation. Yet again, with some trepidation and dread, he dragged himself out of his room to check on his charges and caution them. What he found in the living room area didn't appease his dread at all. There they were, all four of them whooping and cheering in front of the TV. 'You too, Leonardo?'
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The
END
Author's notes:
1. Initially I was going to finish just before "the very next week" but decided to add on a short piece to include the rest of the turtles.
2. In case some things were not clear to the readers: Raph took care of Mikey first with suggesting a culinary challenge to Mikey. Second time, Don takes care of Mikey to get him and Leo out of the way. Don does something to trip Mikey up during the practice time in dojo, thus Mikey going on a practice run with Leo. Two birds with one stone. Typical Don, isn't it ;)