SUPERSTAR

The sky began to drizzle at midnight. Arms across my chest, I wiggled my toes to fight off the chill, cursing myself for wearing those cheap sandals. All of a sudden, I felt horribly underdressed in a crumpled, white shirt and a pair of jeans. Even though I knew that nobody would take the time to study my clothes, my self-doubt started to get the best of me.

In the garden of Fuuka Academy, the oddest place for me to be at the moment, I stood behind a few rows of privileged spectators, watching the scene firsthand as if it were real. I found myself stop breathing as Shizuru was laid down on the grass, her prone body illuminated by the soft glow from the streetlights. Like a still painting, crimson pool sat idly on her barely heaving chest. Her eyelids fluttered in sync with the small movements of her parted lips, the movement followed by a faint smile so empty as her soul left her body.

"Cut!"

Tossing away the mini mike attached to his left ear, Yamada Kenji, the seasoned, middle-aged director, leapt from his canvas chair and strode into the garden to kneel beside the two actors on the ground.

"Marvelous, Shizuru-san! You were amazing!"

"I've heard that one before." Shizuru's mutter would have easily escaped an ear, but not mine. I could hear her heartbeat miles away. It used to beat just for me.

Sitting up, Shizuru brushed the clammy stain off her chest. "Please," she mumbled to her hasty assistant. Her tone was as soft as I'd always remembered, but there was that hint of demand, which I'd never caught from her before even when she was a student council president.

Of course, the position of student council president was juvenile at best when compared with being 'S'. The letter stood for 'Shizuru' as the public adoringly called her by the letter only. No one could forget that she was the young actress who single-handedly saved the crumbling Japanese film industry.

Twenty-one years of age, Shizuru had starred in only three films through her three-year acting career. A movie a year from 'S' was nowhere near enough for the producers, but she offered no easy collaboration. She refused all requests for interviews or TV appearances even if the producers were on their knees. Neither plea nor amount of money could change her mind.

However, Shizuru appeared for no fee as an audience on the stand in an episode of a popular, cooking TV show. For the record, I was the first to spot her in that ridiculously frizzle-haired, pigtailed wig. Seeing her in a pair of nerdy glasses almost flipped me.

'Did you see that?' lying stiffly on the couch, I tapped my foot over Mai's shoulder. I wasn't even a fan of 'S', yet I caught her.

Taking a spot on the floor, Mai had the remote control in her hand, preventing me from changing the channel. She let out an annoyed huff, glaring sideway at my foot. 'For the last time, Kuga Natsuki—'

'There! Right there!'

'Why can't you just let me watch the show!? Now I've just missed the most important part of the recipe!' Mai snapped, swinging the remote in the air. 'Good thing I taped it though.'

'Eager to please Mikoto that much, huh?' I sulkily sank back into the couch when the camera panned away from the actress in disguise.

'Excuse me. What do you know about pleasing someone?' Mai questioned, her eyes fixing on the TV screen.

'Bang! Bang!' Smirking, I shot my roommate two invisible bullets and blew away the imaginary smoke. Oh, how I'd missed my guns.

'Seriously, you need to grow up.' Mai edged near the TV, ready to press the 'stop' button on the VCR. The show was almost over, and Shizuru would disappear out of my life once again.

'OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!'

I jumped slightly upon hearing the shrieks, and looked at Mai for an explanation. But it turned out that Mai was as baffled as I was. The mad scream continued to blare through the speakers. When the actress' cover was blown, the last thing I saw was people stampeding towards where she was. The show rapidly cut and paved way for another.

'Shizuru-san…' Mai turned to look at me, her mouth gaping. 'In that wig…?'

Shrugging, I randomly picked up a magazine and flipped through it.

'I got that on tape! Let's watch it again!'

'Urgh.' Rolling my eyes, I fixed my gaze on the page in front of me. The humming sound of the old VCR rewinding annoyed me to no end.

'Don't make that noise, Natsuki, baby. I know you want to.' Mai's deep guttural laugh earned her a fierce throw of the pillow nearest to my hand.

Mai replayed the shot again. 'Goodness, that's mighty hideous! I bet it'll be all over the news tomorrow. What's Suzushiro going to say about that?'

I laughed aloud at the thought. Suzushiro Haruka was the cousin of Suzushiro Nobu, the renowned producer, whom, by all legal rights, owned 'S'. But little had Nobu the control over what Shizuru would or would not do. She was considered a prick by the inner circle, and her films would have been left in the cutting room if not because of the mad, constant 'sold out' status of every magazine that featured 'S' on the cover. The obsessively long runs of her previous movies were also the records no producer wanted to mess with. The remarkable debut of her single 'Secrets' five months ago, in which I thought she sang horribly out of tune, conquered the first spot on the chart for eighteen consecutive weeks.

Of course, everyone wanted a piece of her secret, and yes, 'S' would have her way. Definitely.

But Haruka was ever so consistent in meddling in every business that involved Shizuru. The blonde would have a field trip tomorrow, crucifying how Shizuru had ruined the image of her divine beauty.

With that cheap wig.

'What was she doing there anyway?' Mai paused the tape.

Lowering the magazine, I glanced up at the TV, looking past the actress' glasses to the deep set of light brown eyes, which would aurorally reddened in the brilliance of the sun. I, too, wondered why.

Why she never called after all these years. After graduating from Fuuka Academy, she spent a month worth of holidays with me. Twenty-four/seven, I might add. Without the whole Hime fiasco, we were more attached to each other than ever. We rode together in the sun, and for a few impatient moments, I thought our paths were one, while all the things that might have separated us were reduced to none. She decided to pay her parents a visit before the first semester of college started, the time I asked her to move into my apartment. She said 'yes' and gave me a polite smile. She left one morning for Kyoto and never returned.

Before my mind would revolve around so many unanswered questions, I pushed the magazine away and stood up.

'I'm gonna sleep now.'

'Hey, wait! I've got something for you,' Mai called out, hurrying to her backpack. Eventually, she spun around to face me with a big, silly grin, holding a yellow, plastic card.

'I know I'm such a terrible friend, Natsuki-chan. I'd love to postpone the trip, but he already got the tickets, and they're nonrefundable. I won't be able to celebrate your birthday with you, so we decided to get you this instead! Believe me that we are so sorry—'

'What is it?' I interrupted, and took the card from Mai. It had the word 'visitor' printed in black, bold letters. 'Is this—'

'A backstage pass!'

'A concert? Hell. I've got two reports due—'

'If I didn't know you better, I'd cry now.' Mai faked a pout, nudging my shoulder. 'You have the whole weekend to manage your assignment, but this pass is valid until tomorrow night only.'

I sighed. 'All right. Who's in town?' I read further down the card, and my heart skipped a beat. It was for the filming of 'Stay', the most anticipated film of the year, starring 'S'.

'No way! I am not going!' I glowered at Mai, clutching the pass.

'Aw, too bad. You know I could sell this for good money.' Mai reached for the pass.

'It's not for sale!' Holding the card back, I accused the girl with a deadly glare.

With the triumphant smile on her face, Mai yawned and moved into the bedroom. 'Her first break of the day is ten in the morning, so don't be late. By the way, information courtesy by Yukino-chan.'

'That is not going to happen!'

It happened. Twelve hours later than scheduled, actually. I only got the nerve to show up at 10 P.M., and the film was already into its last scene. It was set to wrap tonight.

As I walked among the crews, who were clearing up the area, I looked down at the yellow card hanging over my neck, amused how I ended up here.

I was more than appalled by Mai's generous gift, but there was no chance in the world that I'd miss the opportunity to see Yamada Kenji in person. He was the most sorted-after director today, who, at the moment, was following 'S' around like a puppy, offering the actress a cold drink to soothe her crappy mood of being painted red on the chest.

'Stay' was due to hit theater the coming summer. Imagine a low-budget (everything excluding a certain lead's paycheck) Japanese drama running against Hollywood blockbusters during the hot season. Only 'S' could pull that off. She knew just how much she was worth, and she acted no less.

Goddamn… I rolled my eyes when Shizuru's assistant scurried to offer her a wet towel. The poor woman would have wiped it off for her if only the goddess would allow any body contact. The 'thank you' from Shizuru didn't particularly ring true with the snatching of the towel from the slave's hand.

Wiping the stain off her neck, Shizuru walked out of the pool of spotlights. Her glance briefly wandered around, and she suddenly stopped breathing to wall the exhaustion back down her chest. Strangely, it was so easy to notice it now as I hardly ever did before. She used to hide it so well, and I was so good at ignoring any small, but vital details. It used to be all right. That way.

"Would you move a little, please?"

The husky voice from a crew pushed me into the temporary tent, where they stored food and drinks. I was contented there, not wanting to be seen by anyone. But my privacy ran short; the drizzle intensified into a perfect storm.

"Ah, it pours!" the crew ran into the tent along with many others.

The electricity was cut off, and for a moment, we were left blinded in darkness, cramped up under the shade.

"Excuse me…"

"Please excuse us…"

"Sorry… sorry! Did I step on your toe?"

Shadows of people passed in front of me in chaos.

"Anybody would like a drink?" A man in front of me shouted as he unpacked drinks under the wooden table.

Amidst loud chatters, people called out for their desired drinks.

"Can I get a coke, please?"

I slowly turned at a familiar voice behind me. "Yukino?"

"Oh? Who—who is this?" The young woman with long, auburn hair moved beside me, and her face then lighted up in delight when she had a clearer view of my face. Over the years, Yukino had shed off her glasses and opted for contact lens instead.

"Natsuki! Oh, my, how long have you been here? Why didn't you come and get me? I was waiting for you the whole day. You didn't answer my calls."

"Battery's dead. Like, really dead. Sorry," I said with a sheepish grin. I was on a tight budget this month, Mai's strict order. Getting a new battery would have to wait until the next paycheck, which, fortunately, would be the coming Monday.

When it seemed clear that Shizuru's trip to Kyoto was prolonged by being spotted by an agent in a grocery store (They caught Shinkansen the next day to Tokyo for a mobile commercial), I was left alone in this quiet, little town with an almost empty bank account.

Reality hit me when Mai helped organizing my finances. As pointless as everything else I had done in my entire life, I had spent almost every dime my father left me on the investigation of my mother's death. My ego prevented me from giving daddy a call, so I rented out my fancy apartment for good money and shared a room with Mai in a cheaper neighborhood. Working part-time in Fuuka library helped ease the burden of the tuition fee. Suddenly, I had to struggle just to live by, while Shizuru went out of her way to have the world at her feet. We had since walked on different paths that would never cross.

Until today.

"Is that for me?" Shizuru appeared next to Yukino, rammed slightly by the crowd.

"Oh, hey—" Yukino began, but Shizuru just grabbed the can from her friend's hand and pushed her way out.

"Coming through. Sorry." Shizuru briefly looked back over her shoulder. "See me there, okay!? Don't be late!"

"Uh, Shi…Shizuru… Oh, well…" Yukino looked small all of a sudden at her failed attempt to introduce me to 'S'.

With the help of dimming light from the emergency spotlights outside, I watched Shizuru's tight, little ass moving its way out of my sight. That was a nice pair of jeans, the one that the fans would give anything to have. She was a presenter for a famous brand until a week ago. Her mind as twisted as the letter that epitomized her stage name, she refused to renew the contract for no reason. Her decision sent the company CEO reeling in distress when the sales skyrocketed after 'S' posted a semi-nude for them.

It was one twilight evening of June. Shizuru was propped in the middle of an abandoned warehouse. Her left leg straightened as the support of balance, and her right lifted up, strutting against a rusty container. Wearing only the famous pair of jeans, which was stolen and quietly auctioned for 9,485 USD online, her equally famous bare breasts were veiled behind the wild waves of chestnut tresses. She bit half of her pinkly-glossed lower lip as she reached out to thrust the camera away.

Snap!

The jeans were sold like crazy. The 'S' force was unstoppable. And I was simply mad that I had to get another copy of 'Secrets' due to Mikoto's unintended spitting of my food onto the first copy.

"Oh, would you like to join us?" Yukino asked, pulling my arm lightly.

"Join what?"

"It's a birthday party for Shizuru's brother at her new house. Did you know that she just bought one up on the hill twenty minutes from here?"

A brother was something new. She never mentioned him before. In fact, she rarely talked about her family. I offered to accompany her when she wanted to visit her parents in Kyoto, but her response came reserved that I just sent her off at the train station.

"Uh, I got two reports—"

"Please? It'll be fun! You can just stop by for a little while. Her new home is so pretty. You'll love it."

Yukino must have wanted to make it up for me. Her genuine smile and blatant eagerness made it hard to refuse. Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I nodded a little. To be honest, I needed a break from homework. I hadn't been out for two months.

With my beloved motorbike sold for a few months cash flow, I tagged along with Yukino to the newly built residence. A large Japanese garden paved way to the two-lofty-story western mansion. Something of a mix—a contradiction totally screamed Shizuru.

A ride over the hill into a remote area like this, one had to wonder what Shizuru planned to do in the middle of a jungle. It wasn't where a young actress would want to be. A foolish flash of self-importance rose in my chest, but died down like a small wave crashing against the shore.

As soon as the door to the manor opened, twelve maids in black lingerie greeted and led us to join many other guests in the pool area in the backyard. A glass of champagne in my hand, I didn't see no brother anywhere. It was just another gimmick Shizuru pulled to fuck with the public mind.

Some said 'S' had an Arab toy boy with a kid, whom she left hidden at her parents' home in Rio. Yes, 'S' was possibly half-Portuguese with a Japanese father. A few thousand dollars were to be rewarded to any paparazzi with a snapshot of her illegitimate child. A couple of photos turned up, but were discarded by the power of Suzushiro and Co.

Having been spotted several times with many different girls, it had been said that 'S' was actually a pretty face, teenage boy in disguise. She was not too short. She was not too tall. She was just about right, and if her gender manifestation was perverted by the manager's brilliance, no one gave a damn. Her ethereal look was carved into stone, and it would be a crime not to atone.

Taking a plate of sandwich, I followed Yukino to the white beach recliner in the corner. Discreet as we were, we kept to ourselves, watching some party animals jumping into the pool naked. The pool could easily escort at least twenty racing swimmers of 'S' choice.

I looked down at the sandwich instead. "Her friends are pretty wild," I lightly commented.

"They're here only for free drinks and connections. Everybody wants a piece of 'S'." Yukino's chortle sounded almost sympathizing. As a close friend of Haruka, Yukino had frequented herself in Shizuru's social circle and knew more about the actress than I did now. I used to be everything to Shizuru, but wondered if 'S' would even recognize me.

"How is she doing?" I asked over my cold champagne.

"She's doing well, yes. She's got a bright future ahead of her." Yukino hardly convinced me with that reluctant smile of hers.

"Yukino?" I looked into her eyes for reassurance.

"It's been three years. Get over it already."

I never took interruption kindly. Annoyed, I looked up at Yuuki Nao, a glass of red wine in her hand and a handsome gym trainer trailing behind her. In a revealing dress, she had her short red hair spiked up. Her clipped nails painted black, her right wrist sporting a small tattoo. It didn't matter what she was doing, her every movement just oozed her untamed sexuality. She was now a grown woman with a full body to be desired.

"Long time no see." Nao winked.

"Not nearly long enough." I raised my glass to her and washed it down instantly.

I ran into Nao at a motor show several months ago. She showed up with a forty-year-old-something man in an expensive, tailored suit. His arm around her, she approached me with a sly smile that always made me want to slap her whenever I saw it. She broke the ice with a meaningless talk about our Fuuka friends and the old days.

'Have you heard from Shizuru?'

I arched my brow at the first name calling. While Shizuru vanished from my life, everyone else in the world seemed to get to know her better.

'We haven't talked in a while,' I replied.

'She and I hook up every week or so. She said she's missed you, by the way,' Nao said.

It was a rushed phone call to inform me that she was staying in Tokyo for a few other small jobs, added with a return date that was never fulfilled. After I caught the mobile commercial on TV, I tried calling her, but the calls were always on hold. I grew tired of listening to the ring tone that rang forever. I grew bored of getting online just to fail another attempt to finish an email, deleting it before hitting 'send' button for fear of no reply. And I grew out of it eventually.

'She changed her number.' Nao grabbed her cell phone from her pocket, but then stopped. A smile on her lips, she looked up at me and sniggered. 'She'll call you… when she remembers.'

"Champagne, anyone?" Yukino's question brought me back to the mad harem. Boys were making love to each other on the recliner next to mine, while several girls were running around topless, chasing one another around the pool. A live band took the deck and blasted its musical tales into the woods. I actually thanked God that it was so loud now that I didn't have to talk to Nao.

Hours went by so fast. With the music pounding in my head, I couldn't remember how many glasses of champagne, wine and beer I had had. It was a bad mix, but I couldn't care less. I thought I threw up once already. It amused me how easy to talk to strangers now when we were totally someone else. And I began to understand why Shizuru was born to be an actress. She had to hide behind that mask, or she'd just break.

It was a funny date

I called it an affectionate raid

Like a brilliant self-made

Our souls could be purchased

Grinning, I looked up at the deck, swayed in my pose that I fell back down on the recliner.

"Jesus! Kuga!" Nao yapped.

I must have fallen on Nao and her trainer as they were making out, but didn't move away, letting the redhead whine all she wanted. I was fixated by the slender boy in a black suit and a black hat up on the deck.

And then we knew it

Yeah, we had it

You knew how we lost it

It was sad how we blew it

That boy singer bawled out those words, ramming his pain deep within my chest. It was as if he sang for me. He sang for us, the moon and the sky. The boy jumped around, the crowd bursting into laughter when his trousers fell off. I was slightly baffled by his long, beautiful legs and, when his hat was thrown into the pool, I recognized it was no one but 'S' up there. This rare chance of seeing her performing live was anything but my nightmare.

It was sad how we learned it

How we learned to love

How we learned to love

How we learned to love

Shizuru repeated the lines in her angry, awesome voice that I refused to appreciate from the CD. But I wanted her to stop. She needed to stop before I'd break down and cry.

"Don't." I covered my face with my cold, shaky hands.

The music soared into its climax and ended with the guests cheering like crazy, their shouts numbing my ears. I only looked up again when I felt a hand stroking my head. The gym trainer was nowhere to be seen now, but Nao had stayed and soothed me quietly. Our gazes met briefly before my attention shot back up at the singer.

"DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" The crowd jumped.

Shizuru tossed the mike away and raised both hands up high. With a wide (drunken) smile on her face, she leapt off the deck and landed into the pool amidst deafening cheering.

"BAKA!" Before I could stop myself, I flew off the recliner and, drunk as I was, dashed into the pool after the slender form.

Water filling my lungs and becoming one with my tears, I dove deeper and deeper. I swore she looked up at me, calm as ever. Her hand reaching up to mine, I caught her, pulling her closer. She looked divine with a smile of a child on her pale face. Her wild tresses swam along the length of my arms that were wrapping around her. We grinned at each other, bubbles coming out of our mouths. We laughed and embraced like that day I sent her off at the train station. It'd have been one of the best moments of our lives, only it was tainted by the tinge of sadness in her eyes, which was now palpable as the water washed away the veil.

My fading smile cost hers as well. It was here again. It all came back to me, and I couldn't resist the curiosity. I'd waited for this one chance to ask her why, but choked on the water instead. There was only pain in my chest that no words could describe.

With our arms around each other, we swirled as our legs intertwined, ascending to the surface. Rough hands and whatnot grabbed and pulled us out of the water. Pushed to the side of the pool by the rescuers, we lied flat on our backs, coughing. The moon was still high. The party still went on.

But I knew she was lying so close to me, and the awareness changed everything. The universe suddenly revolved around me, giving me a funny taste of hope. I turned to face her, holding back a breath as we looked into each other's eyes.

Her full lips parted. "You work here?" With that, Shizuru flopped back down, her eyes rolling back into her skull.

And the night was over.

The next morning was anything but pleasant. I woke up to a nasty hangover. But what struck me even more was finding myself naked under the warm blanket. I couldn't recognize where I was. The small room was decorated in European style with a tiny balcony to my left. The creamy curtains were let down, allowing sunlight to come through the gap only faintly. Before my brain could register more information, I noticed a presence at the corner of the room moving towards the curtains and opened them up.

"Good morning, Natsuki." It was always that silly accent that got me every time.

"Damn," I grunted, covering my eyes with the back of my hand.

"That's a nice way of greeting." Shizuru, in a black jacket and the same pair of jeans she wore last night, walked up to the end of the bed, taking her time to study me. I horridly felt naked, inside out.

She pulled out her cell phone and noted the time. "It's—nine o'clock. Ten after nine, to be precise. Would you join me for breakfast, Natsuki?"

Sighing lazily, I rolled on the bed. "Do I have to make the breakfast?"

Shizuru paused a little before letting out a small laugh. "I'm sorry. I was drunk… No, Natsuki, you don't have to make the breakfast. It's already prepared for us."

Almost out of routine, I blushed at her laughter, her teasing voice—her way of gazing at me. She didn't appear surprised at my sudden appearance after all this time. She didn't elaborate how I ended up in this room after we both passed out last night. She didn't so much as mentioning the years absent between us. She just smiled like our goodbye at the train station was just yesterday.

'I got the soap and shampoo this morning. Pampers and—'

'Baka,' I pouted, putting my hands in my pockets, fearing that I might reach out and lock her in my arms. I didn't want to make this goodbye a big deal. We'd just moved in together for a week. We had long years ahead to be together.

'They're in the closet. Dinner is in the fridge, ok? Microwave is cleaned. Yeah—it is. I already asked Tokiha-san to give you a hand if you need one.'

'Ok, mommy.'

Shizuru drew me into a bear hug before leaping into the train, the sliding doors separating us. She waved me goodbye and, when the train began to take off, she quickly gestured her hand to her ear, suggesting a phone call, which to be expected as soon as she arrived Kyoto.

Remembering her farewell smile, I found my face suddenly turning cold. I pushed the blanket aside and sat up, groaning a little at the pain hammering my head. I knew she still stared at me, but I didn't feel like being played by her again. She could stare all she wanted because it was all she was going to get anyway.

"Yukino's still here? Where are my clothes?" I tiredly brushed the hair from my face.

"Hmm." Shizuru moved to the balcony, a newly lighted cigarette between her lips.

"You smoke?"

Her eyes widened in surprise as if I should be expecting this.

"Since when did you smoke? It's bad for you! Did they make you smoke just to look cool?" I marched to her, snatching the cigarette and tossing it out the window.

"All right, mom. Chill."

I gritted my teeth. It was beyond my understanding how Shizuru started talking like a troubled teenager. She walked away but not fast enough to lose me. "Did you or did you not do drugs last night? You almost drowned! Do you always party that hard?"

"I had my maid washed and dried your clothes. They're in the cabinet over there. Breakfast is getting cold." Smiling, Shizuru slipped out of the room and shut the door.

"Damn you!" I barked, however, abruptly feeling very naked when the maids outside the door caught a glimpse of me.

The hot shower took me about half an hour, and my crying stomach was getting me. Fully dressed now, I went down the stairs to find the host, passing a small room furnished in white with wallpaper of cute puppies. It looked lovely with a lullaby hanging from the ceiling. The only thing missing from the room was a cradle, or I'd have mistaken it as a baby room. But it did not surprise me that a mansion this huge would harbor such a room; Shizuru must have planned to move her whole family here.

Her brother? Right.

Down in the large dinning room, there she was, sitting at the end of the long table. The guests had all gone, leaving the mansion a mess after party. I doubted she cared much since she had dozens of maids to take care of it.

However, Shizuru looked rather melancholy in the dimming pool of light coming through the windows. She had her food in front of her, her drink by her left hand, none of which she had touched. She was waiting for me in her quiet little world. For a moment there, I thought she was falling asleep with her head slightly down. Like a nobler, she was seated in a lush dinning chair, its price surely unaffordable for an ordinary person like me. From the angle where I was, she looked as though she was locked in that frame of painting, forever alone.

"I'm gonna go." I kept my gaze down, not daring to look at her more than I already did.

Shizuru sat still for a minute. "You always need breakfast. Please. I ordered a new jar of mayonnaise especially for you."

"Would you call me a cab?"

Shizuru, the new Shizuru I had yet to know, sprung up so fast the chair fell back to the shiny, marble floor. She strode to me, shoving her cell phone at my chest. "You call them yourself."

Blood shooting up to my head, I grabbed the phone and threw it across the room. "Fuck you!"

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Mouth hanging open, I looked around for the source of noise, exasperated. That cell phone was literally broken into pieces.

"Shhh." She tried to put her index finger on my lips, which I immediately backed away. With ease, she picked up another cell phone from her pocket and answered. "Fujino."

I was pretty sure that my mouth hung even lower now in utter fury.

'Oh, thank God, you picked up the phone. I was so worried!' a male voice blasted through the line.

"What is it…?" She moved further into the room, knowing that I could hear the voice on the other end. "I said I'll be there… No… Look, I'm through with this… Yes…"

That was it. I wasn't welcomed here and I'd simply leave. I stormed out of the mansion amidst the bewildered eye of the maids. To hell with the cab; I could walk just fine. It'd take only an hour or so to get down to the first bus stop. That nice girl, Yukino, would surely hear from me so soon for daring to leave me in that haunted house on top of the hill with that stuck-up witch.

"Oiii…"

In the strong sun, I squinted and thought of something to evade my focus from the hot air. For a second, I regretted not having some mayonnaise-filled breakfast first. Walking backwards down the hill, I raised my thumb up to hitch a car, hoping for a stranger's kindness. But reality was that Fuuka was no Hollywood movie and every driver looked at me weird.

"Oiiiiiiiiiiii…!" I dropped my hands to my knees. The hangover was killing me.

"Natsuki!"

My head shot up. I involuntarily snarled at the sight of the chestnut-haired bitch on the red Vespa approaching me. I kept walking, looking the other way.

"I'm so sorry, Natsuki! It was an urgent call!"

She totally missed my point, but I didn't think anything she could throw at me today could upset me more. It was too hot. I was too exhausted to care.

"Go away."

"I'm really sorry, Natsuki…! Natsuki!? Talk to me!"

I glanced at the motorbike that was slowing down to my pace. I only noticed now that I was practically jogging away from her. "Don't shout. I can hear you—LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING!"

But she wouldn't. Her head still turned, her focus fixing on me stubbornly. "I am sorry!"

"Stop shouting, will ya!?"

"I am letting go! I'm gonna let go, Natsuki!"

"Why would you wanna do that?" I knitted my brows at her foolish threat. She wasn't wearing a helmet as I could see.

"I'm going to penalize myself!"

"Go to hell!" I really thought she deserved it.

"Wooooooooooooooooo!" Shizuru, the new Shizuru I'd never imagined her to be, raised her hands up high like she did last night before she jumped off the roof.

"Bakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" I ran after the Vespa that kept its balance for a few more seconds down the slope before it wobbled, slid down the side of the road, hit the barrier and bounced down the hill into the thick bush and trees below.

"Oiiiiiii! Shizuru!?" I rushed over and jumped across the barrier. Carefully, I climbed down the hill to the smoky Vespa. I nearly had a heart attack when I got a closer look at how bad the motor scooter was. The front wheel was twisted, smashed against the tree. The headlight and taillight were shattered. "Shit! Where are you, Shizuru…!? Where are you!?"

"I'm here…"

I spun around to see a prone body about ten meters further down the hill. "Are you all right!?" I sprinted to her and clumsily cupped her face in panic. There was a minor cut on her neck. Her lips bled a little. "Don't move! Don't move! Are you hurt anywhere?"

Shizuru rolled her eyes once and twice, her gaze dull. "Everywhere…"

"Stupid, you! Why did you do that!?" I ran my hands over her body, checking for any bleeding. I could just imagine the big headline tomorrow morning: the famous 'S' died from a motorbike crash near her new home in an attempt to rekindle with her former lover—best friend.

I snatched her collar, unintentionally spitting in her face. "You can't die, Shizuru! They're going to sue me!" I couldn't even afford a new phone battery.

Shizuru groaned at my rough hand. Suddenly, her eyes shot wide open and she bolted right up. "Jose!"

"What?" I got up to my feet, following the frantic Shizuru up the hill to where the remains of Vespa were. That red thing must be 'Jose'.

Shizuru dropped to her knees, her hands hovering over the broken vehicle. "Nooooo!"

I knelt down beside the dramatic actress, blinking. "You could just get a new one—"

"You don't understand! My father got me this for my nineteenth birthday!"

I was rather dumbstruck to see Shizuru snapped like that. On the other hand, I was glad to have learned a little more about her family and their relations. It seemed to be a loving one between Shizuru and her father.

I rested my chin on my knees, studying Jose. "I'm sorry…"

Shizuru looked at me for a second, and then sighed. "I shouldn't yell at you. It was my fault."

I shrugged, looking elsewhere. 'S' could do no wrong.

"I was going to… I was just hoping that I could… I wanted to take you for a ride, but…" Shizuru muttered, her gesturing hand flopping to her lap.

A small smile curved up my lips. "Come on. Let's walk," I said, getting up to my feet and pulling her up.

Slowly, we climbed back to the road and made our leisure walk down the hill. She would have someone pick up Jose's parts later on.

Luckily, clouds had begun to move in, easing the bright sun.

"Are you sure you're ok?" I gestured at her limping right leg.

"Why, I am 'S', remember?" She playfully lifted her arm up to show off the bulging muscle beneath the jacket.

"And that makes you a superman?" I chortled. I found it hard to believe that she was adorable even when she was acting so silly, and it was even harder to believe that my laughter could bring out hers so effortlessly. In the generous brilliance of the sun, her smile beamed far brighter than anything I'd remembered. She smiled just for me.

The walk continued with small talks that I carefully designed to avoid the years lost between us. It was nice to see us so happy like this since I was now unsure if I really wanted to hear her reasons. When our desired bus stop appeared at the bottom of the hill, we tossed a coin to decide who'd be the next 'Jose' for the last kilometer. It must have been my lucky day; I got to ride on her back to the bus stop, added with a bus fair she'd pay.

"Ok. That's enough… Ok… Stop. Stop!" I yelped in her ear, getting embarrassed as we were nearing the bus stop. A few people were already there, waiting. But Shizuru, being the old Shizuru that I knew, wouldn't let me down until the bus came, earning the weird stare from the driver. She was right that most people would probably overlook her, not believing that 'S' would have any business strolling in a small town like Fuuka.

We proceeded to sit at the back row. Occupying the window seat, Shizuru seemed gleeful at the beautiful view of Fuuka, whilst I was deeply shaken that I could watch her like this today. She was wearing no makeup, making her look a year or two younger than 'S' presented to be. Her messy chestnut tresses framed her flawless face, her pale skin accentuating the thick rows of curvy, dark eyelashes. Her sensuality now exuded in an almost innocent, harmless way.

"It's our first time riding a bus together, Natsuki," Shizuru said, her gaze out the window.

I flinched a little at her hand moving to my lap, but decided not to move. Discarding the past three years, she always gave me the impression that I was her absolute priority. She remembered every little things about me—my favorite foods, the smell of my cologne, or my preferred brand of bed sheets. She made me feel like I was the only thing in the world worth living for… and I wanted her as best friend forever. I wanted her to be there whenever I needed her to. I wanted her to disappear when I wanted others' company, and she always obeyed. But all that slowly changed after I was given another chance to live—one more chance to a life fully the way I wished. I had grown truly content with her that friendship might not be enough anymore.

"Where are we going?" I asked absentmindedly. Maybe it was meant to be. We'd look back ten years from now and barely recall each other's names, just old schoolmates reuniting after a decade since high school.

Shizuru removed her hand from me, elbowed against the window and rested her chin on her palm.

"I'm going back to Tokyo tonight. You?" Her question came equally inattentive.

"I'm going to miss you… A lot…" I kept my tone as simple as a friend should do.

She turned to stare at me before straightening up in her seat. "You know that I couldn't have stayed with you," she said softly.

"I didn't know that." My body stiffened, only my gaze traveled to fix upon her face.

It took Shizuru a moment before she opened her mouth again to say something, but changed her mind and kept quiet instead. Our conversation ended without a proper conclusion like everything else that we had gone through together. We sat in silence until the bus entered downtown area. Stopping at the 208 St., she got off the bus with me following behind.

It was almost noon. The day was lovely with nice weather and the smell of flowers from the flower shop nearby spread through the area of the street. Turning to me, Shizuru tucked her hair behind her ear, her gaze looking a bit dull. It was fatigue, I assumed, from the long party last night and the motorbike crash in the morning. Maybe she really was a superman.

We both just stood, stealing glances at each other like strangers, until she put up a smile and said, "I'll call when I get there."

My jaw clamped shut. I stoically watched her move away into the milling crowd. In a few more strides, she would entirely disappear from my sight.

"Why wouldn't you!?" I shouted blindly, indifferent to the baffled looks from the passersby.

The slender frame in the crowd stopped. Warily, Shizuru turned around, glancing left and right if anyone had identified her. Evading fans probably distressed her more than saying goodbye to me but, a fool that I was, I still insisted on a proper farewell this time.

Chortling, Shizuru bent a little to look me closer in the eyes. "Of course, I'll call Natsuki. I promise—"

"Why wouldn't you stay?" I breathed, and I breathed upon her lips that were so close to mine now.

Shizuru paused, her smile vanished. My demand rendered her speechless for the first time. Over the years, her priority had changed.

I was about to burst into tears of anger and regret, but Shizuru put up that routine smile an actor always had for the camera and swung her arm around my shoulder, moving us along the street. I frowned; we were suddenly best buddies again.

"We need to grab something to eat first. I'm starving. Aren't you, Natsuki? I got an appointment at two. Just a small appointment… sort of. It wouldn't take long. Can you wait? After that, I'm all yours."

I hesitated. What did 'S' eat these days? I definitely couldn't afford anything fancy at the moment.

"It's on me," Shizuru said with a grin.

Sighing, I swayed in her strong hold. I was just relieved that she wasn't upset at my demand that I'd comply to anything she might offer now. Our stomach cried in unison, and we ended up at a sushi bar a few blocks away. She sat next to the wall, and I was right beside her. The tiny restaurant was so packed that no one paid enough attention around to notice anyone else.

"Hmm—it's so good!" Shizuru spoke with a mouthful, making me laugh to see her so carefree.

"More for you and you," the sushi chef said, placing two more plates in front of us.

Shizuru picked the piece of sushi with the chopsticks and gobbled it up right away.

"Slow down. You're gonna choke yourself," I said, shaking my head.

"You know I haven't had good sushi like this for a long time." Chewing, she closed her eyes, daydreaming of how heavenly the taste was. "I was all over the country, every city. I was all over Asia and Europe. America. Africa. You name it. I was everywhere, but no other sushi anywhere in the world tasted as good as it is here."

I chuckled over my tea. "You're exaggerating it."

"Well, it's good to be back." Shizuru finished another piece so fast.

At her last words, I slowly nodded. "Glad to hear that."

Without much thought, Shizuru wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me a little closer, her other hand picking up another sushi. "Oh, don't sound so sad. It's always good to be with you. I miss my Natsuki." She sounded ever so playful, but it hardly convinced me that she really missed our Fuuka days. Half an hour ago, she was so ready to get on with her business and left as soon as she finished.

"Do actors always fake it?" I turned to look at her straight in the eyes, and she didn't avoid my gaze. "It's me, you know. I'm your friend. You don't have to pretend, Shizuru."

"Are you picking a fight? Can you wait until I finish my luncheon?" For all I knew, she did very little to hide her snide tone.

We fell into silence, our ears deafened by the chatters from other customers. Shizuru didn't allow herself a full meal. She stood up, fished out a few thousands yens from her purse and carelessly tossed them onto the plates. I stared down at the crumpled notes, numbed. If it were not for her rough hand that pulled me from the table, I would never have left with her.

I waited until we were some distance away from the restaurant to free myself from her hold. She disgusted me. I had no idea who this woman beside me was. It turned out to be a mistake to ask her to stay.

"Natsuki! Natsuki, wait!" Shizuru put herself in front of me, blocking my way. Both hands clasped together in an apologetic way, she bent close to my face, walking backwards as I wouldn't stop. "I'm sorry, Natsuki. I—I lost it. I'm sorry. I…"

I glared up at her. "You better hurry. You don't wanna miss your appointment."

"That can wait. Natsuki, I'm truly sorry. I'll make it up to you. Is that all right? Please…?"

I kept marching ahead, Shizuru now closely behind.

"Please, we got only one day together. I really don't want to part with you this way."

The words thrived to stop me. I spun around to face her, my stare harsher. It didn't really matter how we'd part since she'd leave me hurt and alone in the end.

Sensing my bitterness, Shizuru bit her lips, pulling her hair back and resting her knotted hands on her shoulders as if she was carrying the weight of the world. "I was… I was really happy when Yukino told me this morning that you came to the party. It was totally unexpected after… after all this time…"

There it was. Some consolation I had shamefully sought. At least, she knew that she'd neglected me these past years. Her admittance and guilt softened my gaze. The hours we had left were too precious for me to lash out as usual, wasting it away.

"Natsuki…" Shizuru spoke my name again, in a way that no other had succeeded to grip me. With confidence and warmth, she offered a hand and it didn't take me long to take her lead. In the kind sun, she led me quietly through the streets. We kept our anger, frustration and longing to ourselves, not trusting to speak for fear of starting another quarrel.

Precisely at two o'clock, we reached an office building. I looked up at the sign above my head that read, 'Kimura Clinic', and my heart skipped a beat.

"Why are we here?" I asked, tightened my hold on her clammy hand.

"Well… I…" Shizuru looked the other way.

"Are you all right—"

"It's nothing serious—"

"What is it?" I pressed in closer to her, but she sidestepped from me. "Shizuru…? What's wrong—"

"I'm pregnant." Her word came so softly I could barely hear it.

I wasn't sure if I was still breathing. My head felt a little light though. An actress hiding in a small town, seeking a no-name doctor somehow made sense to me. As a matter of fact, it happened a lot to young actresses, who failed to hold themselves, untimely ruining their careers. Yukino must have known this and tried to spare me the news last night. Shizuru's actions had been nothing but crazy, almost suicidal to say the least.

Leaning against the wall, Shizuru gazed out into the crowd at no one in particular, her lips quivering. "Promise me you won't tell anyone. You're my friend, right? You—you're my best friend, Natsuki…" Tears welling up her eyes, she let go off my hand and covered her mouth. "I… I fucked it up. I'm so fucked up. You have no idea… It happened once already and I got rid of it, but this time… I might—I—I might have to keep—"

"What?" I blurted out a little too loudly than I'd have liked. "You can't do this. You got to keep it." As much as I wanted to scream at her in absolute hate, I could only think of how to stop her pain—how to hold her back from falling into the abyss of darkness. What the outside world had done to Shizuru was a matter I wished to ignore. The only thing that counted now was how to heal her wound.

Tears shot to my eyes. I closed in on her, hugging her tightly. When Shizuru just stood there, motionless, I tightened my hold on her, trying to squeeze out any emotion she might have left in her heart.

"Can I…?" Shizuru muttered. And when I was firm in my posture, she slowly embraced me back.

After a few moments in silence, Shizuru broke from the contact, grasped my hand and tiredly smiled. "Stay with me?"

Nodding, I brushed the tears with the back of my hand and followed her into the clinic.

Pushing the door in, Shizuru strode through the long, narrow corridor. It was quite dark with a few lamps attached to the bare cement wall along the way. Judging from her demeanor, she knew the way in and out rather well. I wasn't surprised that it was her second time, but I'd prefer her choosing a more clinical place nonetheless.

Soon, Shizuru turned around the corner of the pathway and entered through a gray-painted, steely door. I followed in to find a man standing behind a counter that was blatantly stationed near the entrance.

"Get her a vodka tonic. Not too strong." Shizuru ordered the young bartender in black, promptly lighting up a cigarette. That couldn't be good for the baby, could it? Wait. I didn't want a drink. Not at two o'clock anyway.

Wide-eyed, I looked around the large auditorium in bafflement. Spotlights were set up, hot and ready. A few men stood behind a huge, black curtain, discussing how to adjust its position. Several other men and women were conversing furiously through their mini-mikes attached to their ears upon our arrival.

Shizuru then gestured me to sit by the counter, and was approached by the same assistant I saw last night. The young woman was in her late twenties, and she was attractive in her own reserved, formal way.

"Fujino-sama—"

Shizuru instantly looked way. "Not now, Mayu."

I was struck by the first-name calling Shizuru had just slipped.

The assistant disregarded her boss' order, moving so close to the taller woman. "They insisted to set up the camera."

"I said not now." Shizuru stalked away to greet with a man in gray suit.

"I'm so glad you made it, Fujino-san! Was the arrangement all right? I hope it wasn't too crowded for your convenience."

Shizuru winked. "First-class. Thank you."

They talked and moved further away that I couldn't hear more of their conversation. With the way it was going, Shizuru and the rest of the crews seemed to have completely forgotten my existence. Everyone except Mayu. I could feel the woman's glare even without looking.

"Vodka tonic, ma'am," the bartender said, holding a glass to me.

I reluctantly accepted, sipping the drink right away. I needed it now as I watched Shizuru made her way to the long desk in the middle of the spotlights and sat down with a middle-aged man in navy suit.

Shizuru squinted at the spotlights above her head, crossing her legs irritably. "I agreed to an interview only. You're not gonna air this."

"It's only for—for the record, our record, Fujino-san. Of course, we will not air this without your consent. Absolutely not."

I seriously could not believe that Shizuru came here to keep her baby, much less that the man next to her was, by any chance, a doctor. I recognized him as one of the most respectable TV show hosts in Japan today, who was now so easily unnerved by 'S'. How pathetic was that? Oh, and how sad I was to shed tears over a gimmick 'S' put up in front of the building less than five minutes ago?

It started.

"It's good to have you with us here today, 'S'. As I understand, this is your first interview ever. What could have changed your mind?" the interviewer asked politely.

Silence. 'S' wasn't going to comment on that.

I arched my brows when I turned to see a staff a few feet from me, holding a big card up behind the camera. The sign read, 'Please be nice. We love you, 'S''.

A small smile then came upon Shizuru's face. "I made a promise to Yamada Kenji. He's a friend of yours."

The man timidly rubbed his ear, reading the sheets of paper before him. "Tell us a little bit about 'Stay', your new movie, directed by Yamada-san, of course."

"Well, I've just finished the shooting last night. We shot it in the garden of my high school, actually."

"Ah, the rainstorm!"

"Yes, it was pouring! I was soaking wet," Shizuru added with a snicker as she leered at me. I hadn't realized how hard I gripped the glass in my hand that I could almost break it now.

Both interviewer and interviewee laughed.

"But we did it. I have to say that it was one of the best experiences in filmmaking for me. Working with Yamada-sensei, he was really professional. He was very understanding and he helped me through a lot of problems I encountered with my role. I grew a lot as an actor."

"Tell us about your role." The man smiled sweetly, his gaze dreamy, which made me want to puke.

Shizuru exhaled a long puff of smoke. "Well, it was different from the first three roles I took. I had to play a mentally unstable girl in this one, which I found quite appealing in many ways. I think she's terribly sexy."

I thought the interviewer laughed a little too loud for my liking.

"I'm sure everyone will agree with you on that, 'S'. Now, there's been news and gossips circling around your possible future collaboration in a Hollywood production. Is that true?"

Shizuru was staring at her nicely clipped nails with great concentration. Nobody was sure if she had heard the question. After a while, she looked up from her fingers and waved a little at the cameraman. "Kill the camera."

'S' was so odd in many ways that one would have expected it. It was generous of the actress to have let them filmed this interview so far. The TV show host instantly snapped his fingers at the cameraman and everything was settled the way 'S' required.

With a big grin on her face, Shizuru turned her attention back the interviewer. "Off the record, yes, I will be starring in the remake of Batman. I'm sorry that I can't elaborate anymore than this at the moment."

Eagerness flashed in the TV show host's eyes. He bent forwards to get closer to the actress. "As Catwoman, perhaps?"

Shizuru let out a charming laugh. "I'd like to play Joker more than anything else! It's written for me!"

My vodka tonic was reduced to only half of the glass. I couldn't swallow more when Shizuru could laugh so merrily at her own deeply buried misery. Her smile was always a façade. Her life was a fairytale came true—a make-belief which she didn't believe in. After all the things she'd done to me today, I didn't know how to stay mad at her when she was already mad at the whole world.

The interview went on, but I didn't really hear more of it when Mayu approached me, standing so close to me I nearly toppled aside to avoid her body contact.

Mayu gave me a polite smile. "You must be Kuga Natsuki? Nakano Mayu. Nice to meet you."

"Uh… yeah, nice to meet you, too…"

Mayu left only an inch between us, turning to look at Shizuru, who briefly glanced back. Shizuru looked wary at the two of us, but continued to respond to the TV show host.

Arms across her chest, Mayu looked larger than life now that she stood next to me, threatening me with all the information and years with Shizuru that I knew nothing of. "She often talked about you. Natsuki this. Natsuki that. That Mayo girl. The biker girl…"

A flash of flattery rose in my chest, but I still couldn't fathom why Shizuru never called. It was a simple question that I just couldn't bring myself to ask her even if she was right in front of me now.

"If I didn't notice you at the shooting last night, I'd have thought that you're just her imaginary friend. She wouldn't be the first actor to end up in a mental institution. It doesn't surprise me since they're under a lot of pressure from the studios and producers, not to mention their own personal problems, added with drugs abuse and whatnot… But Shizuru is different. She's so careless with her dating games, her career… and my heart."

I gulped, fixing my gaze on the fidgety actress at the desk. I didn't believe that Shizuru could hear us from here. Did she? "Why are you telling me this, Nakano-san?"

"If I asked her, she'd have said that you're her best friend. She did. Once. I'm just wondering how well you know her."

The gentleness in Mayu's tone prevented me from being rude. I closed my eyes for a second to suppress the glare that threatened to kill the woman for being nosy. "Umm, I'd say she… she's my best friend, too. She used to be the one I confided in… but she's been busy—"

"Oh, I know what you're talking about. Sometimes, even I couldn't reach her. She'd just disappear out of the blue. Without warning. She'd show up at the shootings just minutes before the schedules, ready with all the lines implanted in her brain. And she executed the scenes in perfection. I really didn't know how she did that with all the parties and everything. She could be real professional that it amazed me at times." Mayu chortled, her gaze soft as she recalled those so-called adventures with the young actress. "You know, once she disappeared the night before the shooting of 'Sacrifice', her second movie—"

"I know it's her second movie. She hasn't been in that many movies."

Mayu was consistent with that polite smile of hers and continued. "The director demanded an extra rehearsal in the morning, but Shizuru didn't know that yet. She left before the decision was made and, to make matters worse, she turned off her cell phone. I knew then what she'd been up to. I literally called up every hotel in the closest districts. I knew she'd turn up somewhere."

I wiggled my toes, shaking the glass in my hand. I was hoping that Mayu would recognize it as an act of boredom and stopped her 'S' recollection. The assistant didn't sound too different from an obsessive fan of 'S'.

Mayu burst into giggles, covering her mouth with her polite hand. "I found her with a European girl. If I remember correctly, she was a French-Japanese. Her Japanese was broken, but Shizuru's English was really good. Not that they needed to communicate much anyway." Mayu chortled. "I just wanted to inform Shizuru of the change in her schedule, but they wouldn't let me leave."

I closed my eyes again and wondered what the hell was going on. "You don't have to tell me—"

"Oh, my, I only got to know Shizuru really well then. She's a real woman, you know. Her endurance was amazing. She could take it for as long as she wanted."

I raised my free hand to her, trying to move away. "Hey, I really don't need to hear—"

"I didn't think we got to sleep at all that night. She was simply delicious. Her cute, little thing was so red. It stuck out so much we couldn't believe it—"

Splash!

Before I knew it, half of the remaining vodka tonic landed right in the assistant's face. Everyone in the auditorium stopped to look at us. I was trembling with the empty glass in my hand, green in the face.

"Fuck off!" That was the first thing I remembered after storming out of the auditorium. Shizuru had followed and tried to pull me to a halt. Out in the street now, I swung my arm off her grasp.

"What happened, Natsuki? Please, don't listen to whatever she said, ok? She was just trying to provoke you—"

"How did you know that? Did you hear our conversation? Did you hear when she told me how much fun she had fucking you!?"

I swore a smile almost appeared on Shizuru's face as she said, "You're jealous."

"No! It's vulgar! Disgusting! You and your fucking assistant and that goddamn European girl or whatever that she was!" I turned and ran.

Frowning, Shizuru sprinted after me. "It's just sex, Natsuki. Which European girl you're talking about?"

I spun on my heel, Shizuru accidentally colliding with me. "So there's more than one European girl, huh!?" I barked until my face went red.

For a moment, Shizuru just kept quiet and looked elsewhere. She appeared calmer than I'd like. "Why does it matter to you? I never called you and your boyfriends disgusting."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. After it seemed that Shizuru had permanently settled in Tokyo, Mai helped me take out my frustration by introducing her classmates to me. From the strings of college boys with grand future plans and big cars, I ended up dating one for five months, another for six months, and the latest ex for a year and a half. Mai thought it helped opening up my world. It did. Those boys kept me company, fending off my loneliness. They kept me from my insane pursuit of my best friend's promise that never came. They kept me from being a fool.

Until recently that I just couldn't bare to fake it any longer. I'd rather be a fool than knowing it all without the woman standing in front of me.

"I never meant to pry. Words got around. You know our Fuuka friends."

It amused me how her words could hurt me more and more now when they used to console me before. "Friends. I don't think anyone would call Nao a friend. You always party hard, don't you?"

"I never slept with her, if that's what's bothering you. But even if I did, it's none of your business," Shizuru said so straightforwardly that I didn't know how to ignore.

It wasn't the first time we had had a spat today, and I felt I had grown immune to it. I didn't even care now how she made fun of me by lying about being pregnant. I just gave up.

"I'm sorry I called you vulgar. You're right. It's none of my business." Looking at my watch, I tittered. "I got two reports due on Monday. I better go home now. Believe it or not, I seriously do not want to flunk these classes. Can't afford it… Things have changed." I gave her a defeated smile. "I guess people change."

Shizuru perked her chin a little, her gaze cold. "You bet."

She remained still as I waved her goodbye. I couldn't even begin how to deal with that pain crushing in my chest. At any rate, it was a better goodbye than last time; I didn't have any false hope to cling onto now. Before my tears would find their way out, I turned and walked away. Before my world would fall apart, the bus stop wasn't too far away. I still thought that it was the right decision to take Mai's gift. It was time to face the truth and got over it. Everyone else had moved on, and I didn't feel like I wanted to be left behind anymore.

"When I was a child, my father often took me to the park near our home." Shizuru's words followed, but I didn't look back. I couldn't look back.

"Every evening, he'd take me for a walk. It was always him, and mom would stay home. It was just me and him every evening. He'd hold my hand, and he'd say he loved me as we watched the sun set together. I was very happy. I felt real, Natsuki. My world was completed then…"

In the strong sun, people went about their business along this busy street. I kept walking ahead, though Shizuru's soft tone rang so wonderfully in my ears it felt almost like a dream to me.

"Mom would say she's busy cooking our dinner or washing our clothes. But the truth was we hungered for her love more than any meals or fancy clothes she could offer us. The truth was... she spent twenty years of her life trying to be polite, staying with the man who loved her, trying to love him back. But life is too short, and she broke down… She made us feel foolish. She made our efforts meaningless—our happy memories, a lie."

I finally reached the bus stop, but there was no sign of the bus yet. From where I was, I could feel Shizuru's presence so near, yet unreachable.

Gently, Shizuru reached out and embraced me from behind. "You were happy that I loved you, but it wasn't fair. Not to me. But I was willing to try. I went out there to prove my worth to you, but now I know… I know how to start a fight and just how to end it. When to lose and when to win. I could have the world at my feet, Natsuki, but I just don't know how to make you love me."

Looking ahead, I could feel her fingers caressing my cheek. She was a phantom. She was a ghost. She was slipping away when light abode.

Then, the bus came. It zoomed along the pavement and stopped right in front of me. A tear rolled down my cheek as the large perfume advertisement, which was imprinted onto the whole bus, flashed the famous face of 'S' before me. There was no smile on her handsome features, only the distant pain that loomed at the horizon of the crimson shades in her eyes.

The door to the bus opened, ready to take me away. A few passengers came down and walked past us, glancing at how odd our pose was.

"Life is too short, Natsuki. I didn't want us to spend years from now, trying, just to regret it in the end. I didn't want you to try to love me. You just do or don't… We know the answer, and I'll just have to go…"

Shizuru kissed my wet cheek, smelling my hair for the last time. As her hands were leaving me, I only realized now how blind I was not to have seen through her façade before. I should have known her better than anyone else. And I finally had the answer I had been searching for.

"Is that her…? Could it be…?"

People were murmuring. I could hear them gasping. Soon, the crews from the interview team, led by the TV show host, found the bus stop.

"Before you go…" I spoke at the top of my lungs in urgency, with all the strength that I could muster, heedless of the onlookers that began to gather into a large crowd.

Everyone stopped and all eyes were upon me. Shizuru halted in mid-step. It took her a few moments to turn and face me, her expression blanked of all emotions.

"Before you go, tell me who the father is."

Shizuru's eyes widened, staring at me. Everyone blinked once, and they blinked twice before turning to gawk at 'S'.

"HOLY SHIT! DID YOU HEAR THAT!? DID YOU HEAR WHAT THAT GIRL SAID!?" a young male onlooker burst out.

"IS IT TRUE, 'S'!? 'S'! WHO'S THE FATHER!? WAS HE THE ONE WHO BOUGHT THE MANSION FOR YOU!?" The TV show host pushed in, trying to get to the actress.

An old male spectator pointed in Shizuru's face. "BUT SHE'S A CATHOLIC!"

"I—please—err—calm—down—I—" Shizuru was rammed around, countless hands were all over her face and body as if she was a sacred being. A touch on her must be a blessing.

"ARE YOU REALLY PREGNANT, 'S'!? PLEASE CLARIFY WHAT YOUR FRIEND SAID! HOW DID YOU MEET HIM!? WHAT'S HIS NAME!? IS IT YAMADA-SENSEI!?" one of the crews spat out her questions like fire, while her friend quickly set the camera over his shoulder, filming the frantic gathering.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!" a female fan cried, hands over her face as she fell to her knees.

The bus driver cheerfully honked again and again to announce the famous actress' arrival in Fuuka. More people stopped over and screamed at the sight of 'S'.

Being pushed out of the circle of madness, I laughed aloud, slapping my knee. Shizuru did deserve the mess she'd caused today.

"Hey! Natsuki!" Shizuru grunted almost in anger, reaching for me over the heads of the bystanders. To my surprise, she madly pushed through the crowd like a bull and headed right towards me.

"Oh, no, don't!" I spun on my heels and ran for my life. Shizuru was fast to catch up with me, while hundreds of people sprinted after us, shouting for 'S'.

It was a sort of miracle that we succeeded to elude the fans by hiding in one of the trash containers in an alley seven blocks from the point of origin. Shizuru climbed out of the container, making a face at the awful smell. I followed her out, laughing still.

Shizuru lifted her arms and smelled her armpits. "Great. I'm a perfume presenter and I smell like crap," she sulked, swinging her arms in the air. And I found her diva attitude quite cute even when she was bitching. Openly. At least, she didn't try to be polite anymore.

Without a word, I gaily held her hand, pulling her attention from the dire smell. It took us only a simple look at each other and we left the alley together. The cab we hailed just a block away took us back safely to my apartment.

Though the middle-aged taxi driver recognized 'S', he was polite enough not to report the identity of his passenger to the taxi center. He only asked for a picture with her. I offered to take a few pictures of them in front of my apartment building with his cell phone. Nervous, the driver kept saying how he'd show it to his teenage daughter tonight. Holding the cell phone up, ready to take the shots, I smiled when the merry Shizuru put her arm around the man, who was roughly a head shorter than her. It surprised me to notice how Shizuru had grown no less than a few inches during the past three years, wondering when she'd stop growing.

"Stop ogling at me and take the picture, please." Shizuru teased, knowing full well that I was entranced by her charm on the cell phone's screen.

Damn you… I inwardly grunted, blushing.

Snap. Snap. Snap.

All went well and we retreated into the building.

"A shower would be nice. Thank you," Shizuru said as soon as she stepped into my apartment.

I grinned at her display; she'd learned fast that I liked her acting silly. I moved into the bedroom to fetch a towel and my cotton shorts for her. I choose Mai's white tank top, considering their bust sizes.

"It's Mai's. Please don't tear it, or she's gonna kill me."

"Should I sign my name on it?" Shizuru gave me a grin that looked so stupid I wanted to pinch her cheeks.

I lightly goaded her towards the bathroom. "It's quite small, but you'll have to live with it, Ms. 'S'."

"Actually, I like the sound of that. Ms. S. Intriguing, mysterious and—"

"Shut up. Gimme your clothes."

Shizuru turned to face me, looking me up and down in a sensual gesture. "You've been very, very naughty today, Natsuki. What's on your mind?"

"I'm going to wash them so that you will have something to wear to the airport. Quit playing or I'll let you go naked," I grumbled, losing my patience.

"Oh, all right. All right. Chill. I don't want wrinkles on your face before you hit thirty." Shizuru stripped off her clothes right in front of me.

My eyes widened in horror when I spotted several nasty bruises over her arms, ribcages and knees. "Shizuru!"

"It's—umm—all right. It doesn't hurt that much," Shizuru said as she observed the bruises, having realized them just now. "Suzushiro, and I don't mean my producer, will kill me for this."

My face screwed up in worry, and she noted it right away.

Glancing around the bathroom, Shizuru smirked. "You don't have any camera in here, do you?"

"Shut it!" My face blushed, but I wasn't sure if it was her words or the view of her stark naked body. I snatched the clothes from her and slammed the door in her face. "Be quick! I need to shower, too!"

I prepared her an icepack and placed it on the desk where she could easily spot it. Changed into temporary clothes, I dumped our smelly ones at the laundry room. On my way back, I had a small chat with my neighbor, who was also my classmate, hoping he could lend me the morning lecture that I missed the first half hour of it last week.

I returned to my room to find that Shizuru was already scantily clad in those clothes I picked for her, making herself at home with a cup of hot tea in her hands. The icepack on her knee, she seated herself by the window, enjoying the view of downtown faraway. Faint music was playing from the old laptop she left me three years ago. It was some of those old songs we used to listen at my old place. For some reasons, I kept them all even if I never listened to them again.

Until now.

Catching me off-guard, Shizuru smiled at me on the reflection of the window, and then turned to give me the same joyful look. "Great view you got here," she commented and then playfully added, "Can I spend a night?"

"Be my guest." I quickly grabbed my clothes from the closet and got into the bathroom. I knew she was just joking; she was going to leave tonight anyway. And I feared that she might have disappeared by the time I finished the shower.

"Wow, Natsuki is fast. Are you sure you got rid of the smell?" Shizuru teased me over her tea.

I stuck my tongue out at her, walking out to the small balcony to hang the towel. I halted a little when Shizuru's arms slipped and wrapped around my waist. Just like the old days, she whispered into my ear.

"You always smell nice."

Contented, I leaned back against her chest, putting my hands over hers. In the quiet, little moment, our chests rose and fell in sync to each other.

"Why did you buy a house here out of all places?" My question came rather abruptly that Shizuru pulled back a little.

"Hmm… Good question."

"I saw that baby room. It wasn't just to fool me."

"Interesting observation."

"Shizuru!" I turned to face her, her arms still around me. "You are not really pregnant… Right…?"

Shizuru burst into laughter but composed herself fast. "It's for my sister."

My mouth gaped open in puzzlement.

"My mother is pregnant, but she's already divorced from her second husband. She has nowhere else to go."

"Whoa. Your mom is—"

"She's 44. The baby's coming next month. They're going to live there," Shizuru said. There was no trace of resentment or malice in her smile.

"What… what about your dad?"

"Oh, he's moving there, too. He thinks he's too old to get jealous over this. They're friends now."

I raised my brows, not sure what to make of the news. "You got one hell of a family."

"As a matter of fact, I think we all do."

Giggling, I nudged her shoulder. "Too bad. You can't party there anymore."

"Who would want to party in the jungle? It was only for the opening night." Shizuru cocked her head in amusement.

Glowering, I pushed my body against hers. "You will not party without my consent again, you hear that? You will not jump off any roof again, ever! Understood?"

Shizuru took my hands in hers and planted a soft kiss on my slender fingers, murmuring. "Since when you own me…? What makes you think you could order me around?" She glanced up and our gazes locked in mutual tenderness. "Why did it take you so long…?"

"Oiii. Be optimistic. It could have taken you twenty years to realize that I didn't have to try."

"Hmm. That's a relief." Shizuru leaned in for a kiss, but I arched my back to evade it. She looked rather puzzled, her reluctant hands would have left me if I didn't grab and put them back around my waist. "Oh?" Shizuru chuckled in uncertainty.

For a solemn while, I rested my forehead against her shoulder, eyes closed, warm and safe in her hug. Humming along with the old song playing from the laptop, Shizuru playfully curled my long hair around her fingers. She did sound wonderful. And I was very amazed how good her accent was when I heard her sing live last night.

"How's school, Natsuki? How's life? Oh, and please don't say that you were happy without me. Tell me it was horrible and painful without me." Her mischievous tone almost sounded lyrical, and I chortled at her little plea.

"Looks like we've got a lot to catch up."

"I believe we do." Bending down, Shizuru wrapped my thighs in her strong hold and lifted me up, moving us back into the room.

Strangling over her shoulder, I giggled like a school girl, blushing. "Let me down! Let me—"

Throwing me onto the couch, Shizuru silenced me with a coarse kiss, pressing her body down upon mine, and I realized how much we both had longed for it. But I pushed her up, breaking her from the kiss. She wasn't going to have it her way. Not anymore.

"What—what's wrong?" Shizuru looked alarmed, her breathing rasped.

"We haven't seen each other for three years, and this is all you think about?" I faked out a pout, sitting up.

Shizuru jumped to the window and drew the curtains close. She was too ecstatic of this rare chance to be alone with me that she didn't seem to care much about my doubt. "Well, yes, I—I've thought of—a lot of things… But now…?" Fidgety, she sat down next to me like a child waiting for her favorite sugary.

I put up a serious face. "How can I be sure that I'm not just one of those girls?" Oh, Lord, this impromptu question sort of hit home for me. I really needed to know.

Shizuru moved in closer, engulfing me in her hug. "How can I know if you really want me that way?" Her question came quietly as she stroked the skin of my arm, sending shiver down my spine.

With just the soft touch, my heart started to pound quicker, my eyelids fluttering close. She had a way of touching me that felt so special. Her touch set the rest of the world apart.

"Shizuru… I'm…"

Shizuru sighed into my ear, calling my name. Sensing the triumphant tone in her voice, my eyes shot open in an attempt to wake myself from her ruse.

"I want to see you touch yourself."

Shizuru's hand stopped doing what it was doing. She blinked a few times. "Pardon?"

"You heard me." I tried not to laugh aloud, glancing up at the ceiling.

"But… you… me…" Shizuru wanted to protest, but her voice trailed off when I just stood up and undressed myself.

It wasn't the first time I stood naked before a lover, but I felt sacred more than ever. I watched her watching me, her gaze filling me with flattery and affection. After a few quiet moments, she gleefully took off her tank top. Topless, she threw herself at me, pinning me down to the couch.

"Hey—no—wait!" I kicked under her body. But Shizuru was so strong, easily holding me down with a firm grip on both of my wrists. She wasted no time and planted many kisses over my breasts. My nipples erected and hardened in the warmth of her tongue.

"Ah… Shizu—" I compressed my lips to shut myself up. If talking wouldn't get this little brat to obey, something else had to be done. I roughly slid my thigh between hers and pushed. It slowly got her attention, but eventually managed to make her reel between my legs.

Breathing hard, Shizuru looked up at me, rather perplexed at my way of defense. I could tell she was used to her dominance, but she wasn't going to get it from me today.

I gently released my wrists from her feeble grasp and cupped her face, brushing her lower lip with my gentle thumb. "Slow down. I'm not running away, Shizuru. You'll leave tonight. You'll see the world out there, but I'll still be here… You'll always find me here."

When the shades of her eyes darkened in distress, I rushed to kiss her in consolation and reassurance that we'd see it through together. Shizuru returned me with a tender kiss this time. Her chest heaved and fell with deep yearning, and her crotch dampened with desire.

"The funny thing was…" Shizuru muttered between our kisses. "I thought I was over you. Am I making a fool of myself again…?"

Sighing, I put my arms around her neck, motioning her to lie down on me. Guilt rose in my chest. It was highly possible that I'd never be to the one to turn our relationship beyond friendship. She'd probably end up being just a roommate. We would have grown old and bitter, together but alone.

"Were you in love with her…? That bitch Nakano, I mean…" My question earned me an impassive stare from Shizuru. It caused a hollow feeling in my chest when her gaze dropped in uncertainty.

"You were mean to her," I stated the fact, however, hesitant if it was just a consolation I needed.

Shizuru took in a deep, long breath, her eyes filled with the pain she had caused upon Mayu, and perhaps, onto herself. "She was this close to replace you, Natsuki," she breathed the words through her gritted teeth, "And it scared me so much that I wouldn't be able to feel you anymore…"

Her honesty was enough to bring tears to my eyes, but I wouldn't let them out. They were in love. But I smiled to her in return. All in all, she had hurt someone for my sake before, but I welcomed it this time. Love could be selfish, and Lord knew I wasn't going to give it up just now.

"You were mean to me." I almost choked the words out in fear and acrimony.

With her fingertip, Shizuru poked my nose, flashing me a smirk. "You had it too easy for you. But I see it got your attention all right."

"We're a funny pair, aren't we?" Chortling, I lifted my shoulders up so that my lips could meet hers. "A funny date? You call it an affectionate raid?"

Shizuru relaxed on top of me. "Ah, you have good memory. Weren't you supposed to be drunk?"

I recalled the song sang over the deck last night. If I took that bus—if I didn't give us another chance, it could have been sad how we learned to love, indeed. "Did you write it?" I mumbled, playing with her bangs.

"Especially for you, Madam Kuga," Shizuru spoke with a low, coarse voice, pinching my nipple.

I burst into a giggle, curling up under her and covering my chest with my folded arms.

Smiling, Shizuru rested her chin on my shoulder, and her gaze never left me as she spoke. "I'd do anything for you, Natsuki. Anything."

It was that certain seriousness in her poetic voice that I knew that I had her completely. But my heart was battling with my reckoning. She'd give up anything if only I spoke of my yearning. She'd come back, enroll into a college and start all over again if only I asked her to. She'd leave her future behind and live in this humble apartment with me if only I demanded so.

I shifted in my prone pose, kissing the back of her hand that was right beside my face. "And I, you."

Her smile faded at my monotonous response, but only if she knew. I'd let her catch the plane tonight, leaving Fuuka once again to go on with the life she had started. I'd let her enjoy all the things the world had to offer, which I could not offer her. I'd let her pursue her destiny to the farthest end, trusting our paths would join again one day to share our victories and defeats together.

My breathing hastened, and my heart beat fast against my chest. I slowly brought her hand to her sensitive area. "Touch yourself the way you'd touch me," I murmured hotly in her ear.

Shizuru reluctantly closed her eyes, kicking off the shorts. Her body started to tremble as she obeyed my order. One hand supporting her weight, she clumsily aroused herself that I had to restrain my laugh. Shaking my head, I gently held her moving hand, motioning it to go slower. The warmth of her wetness began to coat our hands as they moved together as one, and she shivered above my body.

"Look at me." But she was still swirled in her slowly crumbling world that I had to touch her face to get her full attention. "Now, look at me…"

Dazed, Shizuru opened her eyes, licking her lips. Her hips jolted a little when my hand moved past hers and claimed her all to myself. But her body adapted fast and responded to me in the smooth, rocking motion. I didn't think she could stay very long above me if she hadn't placed one hand over my shoulder, another on the wall behind the couch.

Taking pleasure in the full control I had over her, I smirked up at her as she started to rock harder. Shizuru whimpered when my hand suddenly slowed its motion down. "Is—is there something wrong…?" I swore she nearly pouted at this point.

"Oh? Look at this. I thought you were tougher than this." Chuckling, I showed her my wet hand, causing her to blush furiously. Shizuru was going to climb off me, but I wouldn't let her. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back down. In her wobbly state, I knew she wasn't up to the fight.

A calm, confident smile curved up my lips as I said, "Is it because of me? You can tell me that it's because of me."

It was one of a few times Shizuru would stagger at any suggestion, but she did now. She opened her mouth but then chose to be silent. Not getting an answer, I reached down and worked on her vulnerable spot to tell her who was in charge. Choking, Shizuru toppled forwards, but was quick to sustain herself with each of her hand beside my head, preventing herself from falling completely upon me.

"You can tell me now." I breathed along her neck, giving her one more chance.

Whimpering, Shizuru shut her eyes and then succeeded to still her body. For a moment, I thought I was losing the advantage. Breathless, she gazed down at me, stroking my cheek. "Not a thing. Not even a kiss, Natsuki. You don't even have to look my way, and it's always been you."

I was dumbfounded at her confession as if I'd never heard it before. It felt new. It felt urgent this time that I returned her feelings now. Eternity would not wait for me, and neither did Shizuru.

I sat up, wrapping one arm around her waist while the other free hand finding its way to her. Shizuru gasped in surprise, wilting down against my shoulders. Her body quivered, her muscle contracting and releasing around my fingers. Moaning, she whipped against me, almost suffocating me with her need. She sobbed over my shoulder, shuddering relentlessly, and I knew she was going to burst anytime soon.

"Get up. Come on." I softly motioned her to get off me.

"What—what…" On her shaky legs, Shizuru blindly followed my demand. "I… you… think… I—tea is getting…" She continued to mutter senselessly, and I managed to shut her up when I got down to my knees and took her hot flesh in my mouth, earning her gasps of wicked pleasure. Jerking repeatedly against my hungered lips, she fumbled for my shoulders for support, but I shrugged them off.

"Na—Natsuki…? W—what—are you…" Eyes closed, Shizuru stuttered, her hips rocking wildly. Without my arms around her thighs, she'd have lost her balance. But even then, she couldn't take it much longer than I had expected, slipping through my hold to slump down on the carpeted floor.

I sat with my hands slightly raked back against the floor, muffling my harmless chortle when I watched her crawl on her hands and knees, shaking as she tried to regain her bearing.

Shizuru turned to shoot me a weak glare. "Is something funny?"

"Huh. Oh, no. No. Never mind me." I glanced up at the ceiling, failing to wipe that smile off my face.

Her eyes narrowed in curiosity, Shizuru moved towards me and put herself between my legs. I jumped as her fingertips circled over my delicate spot. "I think you need it more than I do," she said with a knowing smile, flashing me her wet fingers.

"Don't try. You're gonna embarrass yourself." I laughed it out.

Shizuru licked her fingers in a slow, but sure way. "I'm flattered, Natsuki." Without much thought, she accepted the challenge. She took me in one arm, her other hand pushing my legs open and claiming me right away.

And my body involuntarily shuddered. "Ah—Sh—Shizuru…"

In desperation, Shizuru planted kisses all over my neck and breasts. She needed to know if she was it for me, and I wasn't about to deny her anything now. I needed her to know that I wanted to be the one for her as well.

Shizuru moved faster, prompting me to gasp loudly. I shot my hand over her neck, drawing her closer so that I could feel her warmth all over my body. I found myself losing in her intense, wounded gaze, my hips pumping and thrusting against her. In a rush, Shizuru sucked my lip and bit it, determined to leave a mark on me to profess her permanent possession. As she tore deeper into me, I almost bawled out to beg her never to leave me again. But all that came out was a muted cry.

I cried out her name just once when I came in her ruthless hand, and then flopped helplessly in her arms. Panting, my heart was pounding so fast that I wouldn't be surprised if it'd leap out of my chest. Shizuru had the gentlest smile on her face as she put her hand over my chest as if to soothe its pressure. Though exhausted, I pulled her neck down and inelegantly kissed her all over her face. I missed her already.

"Ready for another session?" Shizuru teased between the kisses.

At the tease, I bit her lower lip, causing her to yelp. I bit a little too hard that she was trying to pull away, but I swung an arm around her neck and pushed myself up to sit on her lap.

"That hurts." Shizuru winced, raising her brow in astonishment after I released her lip.

"Yeah. So that you wouldn't forget me by midnight."

Shizuru missed the bitterness in my tone and laughed. "I could never forget you. Believe me that I tried—"

I tightened my arm around her, forcefully pulling her close that our chest pressed against each other. I just stared into her eyes, speechless. A side of me had so many questions, but the other feared the answers that perhaps best left unknown.

"You know you can trust me," Shizuru said straight away as if she had read my mind, her gaze weary.

Without another word, I pushed her down on the floor, parting her legs with my mine and thrusting my fingers into her.

"Wait—" Oh, now Shizuru wanted to settle our doubt, but I didn't want it. Powerless, her body began to move with the rhythm of my hand. Trying to control her jagged breathing, Shizuru gradually wilted down on her back, though still half-hearted to surrender. "Natsuki, I think—"

"Shut up. I don't want your promises," I said almost curtly, lying atop her body. I sighed in pleasure when Shizuru trembled badly. The pressure from my circling thumb was too much for her to bear. Her body stiffened and relaxed in a series of short waves of desire, and she broke into sobs, shivering under me. After a moment, she struggled to push herself up, trying to lose my touch. I could see fear in her eyes. However, whether it was fear of the future with or without me, I had yet to decide.

I roughly grabbed her before she could get to her feet and dragged her down to her knees, working on her harder and faster. There was no word now, only her loud, tortured moans. Soon, she collapsed to the floor, sprawled on her stomach.

"I… I can't…" Shizuru breathed hard, her shaken legs spread out widely.

I ignored her protest. For a split second, my heart went cold and my need to have her was the thorn at my side. I flipped her up and reached down to her achingly prominent, reddened flesh.

Shouting in painful cry, Shizuru still wouldn't touch me even if she shook and rocked uncontrollably by my design. Her hips kept shooting up in defiance, only to fall back down again and again in defeat. But I couldn't take it anymore when tears of uncertainty welled up her eyes that I had to take her in my arm, holding her tightly against my chest.

"Shizuru… Shizuru…" I urgently murmured her name in her ear, feeling my own eyes warm with tears.

Secured in my embrace again, Shizuru felt safe enough to allow her self-control to crumble. Arching her back, she gripped my shoulder so hard as though her life depended on it, crying out and thrashing hard against me until the spasm eventually subsided.

Sighing in content, I tenderly laid her sagging body on the carpet and discreetly went into the bedroom to retrieve a blanket. I came back to lie down beside her and put the blanket over us, lying on my side to rest my chin on her chest, grinning as I watched her closed eyelids fluttering a little. Shizuru was still slightly shaking from the aftermath, her mouth gaping open for air.

"You—Are you all right?" Shizuru asked, clearing her throat.

I rolled my eyes. "You got to be kidding me."

"Oh, please." Shizuru let out a fake puff.

Our arms around each other, we laughed together as we kissed. Yawning, Shizuru rubbed her eyes, mumbling something inaudibly. I goaded her to sleep and, like a child, she just flopped back down and fell fast asleep under me. I watched her until I was taken in by my own exhaustion.

It would have secretly delighted me if we woke up again to dawn. We would have if not because of Shizuru's mobile ringing that disrupted our sweet dreams. I looked up to the gap between the curtains and noted the darkness outside. The clock on the wall suggested that we were already early into the night. It was almost nine o'clock now.

"Damn. We slept like a rock." I groggily got up.

Groaning, Shizuru fumbled for the ringing mobile on the table. "Fujino—"

'YOU NEGLECTED THE INTERVIEW AND DISAPPEARED! WHERE EXACTLY ARE YOU RIGHT NOW!?'

Shizuru didn't have to tell me; I knew it was Suzushiro Haruka on the other end by that trademark roar.

"I'm at Natsuki's apartment," Shizuru said banally as if I was just another one of many.

'I'LL REPEAT IT AGAIN: THAT GIRL WILL CORRUPT YOU! I WARN YOU!'

Shizuru just chuckled.

'ANYWAY, GET YOUR ASS TO THE AIRPORT NOW. MIGHT I REMIND YOU THAT YOU GOT THAT TWO O'CLOCK FLIGHT TO ISTANBUL?'

Istanbul only made me feel worse. Looking at me, Shizuru quickly settled the call and hung up. I just put on my clothes, not planning to delay any business that 'S' was obliged to tend to. We left the apartment soon afterwards, grabbing some hotdogs from the supermarket nearby before taking a cab to the domestic airport north of the city. Shizuru needed to be at Narita International Airport by midnight.

I remained quiet as we headed to the airport, while Shizuru finished the hotdog fast. I could tell that she was starving to death after the exertion, and she looked adorable when she tried to talk with a mouthful. She told me about the commercial shooting in Istanbul, which would be followed by many other deals and plans that I simply got confused where she'd be on earth throughout the next few weeks. I doubted if I'd still be in her mind by the time she got another break, and I was sorely tempted to stop the cab.

The cab finally pulled over the sidewalk near the airport entrance. There were too many people gathering along the curbside. Soon, the bodyguards approached the taxi, escorting us to the meet with the crews at the runway. I took note of the time as I followed Shizuru through the tunnel. It was already fifteen to ten o'clock. Just about time.

The private jet stood by the hangar number 31, ready for take off. Its door was left opened, waiting for the actress and her crews. To our surprise, hundreds of fans and reporters were already there, yelling for 'S' behind the yellow stripes, the temporarily designated area granted by the officials. The news concerning 'S' this afternoon spread like wildfire, and the request to enter the runway to meet the actress could not be denied.

"Fujino-san!" Suzushiro Nobu, her producer and manager, approached with sweaty face. "These people are crazy! They want a statement from you, or they wouldn't leave the hangar!"

Shizuru sighed, gesturing for Nobu to leave her some privacy for a moment. The middle-aged man glanced at me over Shizuru's shoulder and then tiptoed a few feet away. I swore he was snickering. The bodyguards protectively put themselves as a shield to block any view of 'S' the fans could get from here.

Under the hot pool of spotlight, Shizuru turned to face me, looking grim. She held my hand up to her chest. It took her a long moment before she could bring out those words.

"Natsuki… Ask me to stay…?"

At her shaken words, I involuntarily clutched her hand. Like always, she could read me like an open book, and I wondered why I let our paths go separate ways for so long that we almost lost each other.

But I smiled widely. "I will one day."

Shizuru pressed in, but I shook my head. She needed not say more. Before she came, the sun set in the east, and the earth was still flat. But it wasn't the case now. The world was round and time was precious again.

Eventually, a smile crept over her beautiful face, her gaze softened and relaxed. Her lips moved with the syllables of those three words lovers confess to each other, but her voice was subdued by the strident humming of an airplane landing on the runway. Shifting in her pose, Shizuru looked annoyed at the interruption that I had to laugh. She opened her mouth again but, even if I was dying to hear it, I instantly placed my fingers over her lips. Suppressing my sigh, I pretended to be interested in adjusting her collar, patting over her chest a few times in the secret attempt to soothe my own aching heart. Shizuru took me in her arms, and we embraced each other so tightly I didn't think anything could break us apart.

"You tell me again when you're back," I whispered over her shoulder, and forced myself to let go.

"Fujino-san…? It's—it's time…" Nobu nervously spoke from behind.

Pecking me on the lips, Shizuru started to walk away, mischievously pointing back at me. "I'll be back before you know it."

Chortling, I watched her make her way towards the private plane amid the cry from the fans. People kept screaming for her, whilst the reporters shot out questions nonstop. Flashes from the cameras and handheld spotlights graced over her in unison. 'S' ascended the ladder, stopped right at the entrance of the plane and then raised both hands up. All things became quiet then, everyone holding their breath.

"I am… not pregnant."

There it was the first interview ever from 'S', and the end of national nightmare. The simple announcement earned thunderous screams of joy. Some of the fans collapsed from delight. The actress waved goodbye and entered the plane, followed by Nobu and the bodyguards.

I only took my attention off the plane when the cell phone in my pocket rang. "Hello?"

'How are you, my Natsuki-chan?'

Mai's joyful voice rarely failed to cheer me up. The timing was perfect since I desperately needed a friend right now. "I'm good. How's the trip so far? How are his parents?"

Mai merrily laughed. 'Oh, Fiji is super nice, and I don't know how his parents are because I haven't met them.'

"What—what!? Fiji!? You said you were going—"

'Courtesy from 'S', you know. Oh, you wanna talk to Yukino? She's here with us.'

My mouth hung open in shock.

'Hello, Natsuki. How's it going? Did Shizuru treat you well today?' Yukino sounded too happy to be true. She was still in Fuuka this morning… Wait… She was still in Fuuka before I passed out last night.

'DID THAT WOMAN GET ON THE PLANE YET!? TELL THAT WOMAN TO GET ON THE PLANE!'

My jaw clamped shut as soon as I caught Haruka's voice on the line.

It was Mai again on the phone. 'Are you still there? Nao-chan wouldn't talk to you. I think it's the jetlag.'

I blushed in anger, clenching my fist. "What the hell!? How come you guys got to be there when I'm stuck here with two reports due on Monday!?"

'Don't be mad, Natsuki! We miss you!' That must be Mikoto and Tate yelling together.

"Damn you all for leaving me here!" I sulked, pacing back and forth. "Oh—oh, so it was all set up? The shooting at Fuuka? The backstage pass? The party? Come on, you guys!" I blushed even hotter when I thought back of how Shizuru played me and finally got under my skin today.

Mai took the turn to face my fury as it was only her who dared to. 'Well, Yamada-sensei is your all-time favorite director. There's no secret about that. Why would 'S' agree to be in his movie, plus giving an interview by his request? Oh, baby, you ain't cheap! Be proud of that!'

"But… but… Damn, I…" I stuttered. 'S' always went out of her way to achieve something, and it all seemed so amusing to me. I quietly blushed, secretly flattered by all of Shizuru's efforts.

'Oh, don't complain anymore, Natsuki-chan. We got a trip to Fiji, but you got a date with a superstar!'

My head snapped at the loud humming of the private jet. I looked up to see it slowly moved away from the hangar. In just a few moments, the jet took off and flew into the night sky. My chest felt hollow as I watched the plane gradually disappeared into the night, but it was filled up again with warmth at the thought of what tomorrow might bring.

I smiled up at the starry sky. "Nah, Mai. I had a date with Shizuru… Just Shizuru…"