Windex cleans better than Bleach

Disclaimer: Me (Happysmily) and Mag-chan (a.k.a. Ichixrenji-smexy love): coming up with the ideas, we get credit equally, 50/50, no one here deserves more credit. Other than Kubo Tite, eheheh...
Kubo Tite: Obviously for making Bleach
My Bro's comp: I hope to god he doesn't find this. I want to watch tv...
Crack: mmmm crack...

Important notes: CRACKNESS AND OUT OF CHARACTER IS ASSURED lol xD.
HOW TO READ THE CHAPTERS (may get a bit annoying)
I will write the odd number chapter, and Mag-chan will write the even numbered ones, It'd be smart to alert to both of us.

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It was a bright sunny day, Uryuu decided that Ichigo needed shoes fit for days like these. Not those crumby ripped up excuses for shoes. He went to the store and went looking for some sandles. He scaled up and down the isles, looking at all of the shoes, pink ones, green ones, then he saw them. Perfectly white flip-flops with blue crosses on them, he looked at them in awe and got them before anyone else could. He took it to the counter and bought them. He happily walked out of the store with the bag with him. The next day he saw Ichigo.

"Hey, Kurosaki.." The Quincy said slightly shouting, running to catch up with him. Ichigo turned around to see his friend.

"Oh, Ishida. What's up?" Ichigo asked turning around to see his friend.

"W-well, I wanted t-to give you t-this" Uryuu said blushing. He handed, almost shoving a white box with a blue ribbon tied elegantly to it at Ichigo's stomach. Ichigo just barely caught it as he saw his friend run behind the corner. He shrugged and continued walking walking the other way. He opened the box and saw some flip-flops. He decided put them on, surprised to find out that they fit perfectly.

Squeak, squeak, squeak. Uryuu's brow twitched as he heard Ichigo's new flip-flops squeak.

"Yo, Ichigo. What's up with those things, they squeak as loud as when i step on mice" Orihime said pointing at his new footwear.

"You seem happy, who'd you beat up now?" Uryuu said trying to get off topic.

"Y'know the gang that was beatin' up Chad" She said. Ichigo and Uryuu nodded.

"Well I beat 'em up, totally weak mother fucka's, they couldn't get a hit on this girl, y'know wait I'm sayin'? Like they ain't gunna get some'a dis shit" Orihime said fairly quickly. She kept talking for a bit but stopped after awhile. Ichigo and Uryuu kind of stopped paying attention after a few words. "Y'know Uryuu, you need a bit'a bling bling y'know" She said showing off her necklaces and rings.

"n-no thanks. I'm not into that sort of thing" Uryuu said bushing a bit.

"C'mon, get rid'a those dorky glasses and get some new duds, we gotta get 'yo some new shoes too." The female gangster pointed out. Uryuu squirmed a bit in discomfort, he didn't feel to comfortable about him being a gangster. He felt a hand on his head.

"It's alright Uryuu, you're fine just the way you are" Ichigo said. Uryuu blushed madly and looked away. Orihime laughed at his girlish actions

"You're such a girl Uryuu!" She blurted out laughing. As Orihime was telling Uryuu how to be a gangster, Ichigo stood up and walked away, the squeak from his footwear being highly noticed. That's when Uryuu had it. He tackled Ichigo to the ground, sat on his stomach and looked down at the strawberry.

"I can't take it anymore..." Uryuu said a bit evily. Ichigo looked up at the boy "Those shoes HAVE to go!" He said and jumped off his partner to his feet and pryed off the sandles. He ran to a corner with them and started gnawing them to shreds, Ichigo looked at his friend gnawing his shoes awkwardly. He shrugged it off anyways and walked home with the occational 'ow' from some hard object stabbing at his feet. He never knew why he had friends like that, he never understood them.

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WAHH! I'm SO SAD, not only was it not short. THERE WASN'T ENOUGH CRACK! I PROMISE THE THIRD CHAPTER TO BE ALL CRACKY!

and if you didn't know
Inoue Orihime Badass Gangsta (just supporting the crack)
Ishida Uryuu Girl like personality (cause he's so cute like that)
Kurosaki Ichigo Completely Dense (never knows what the fuck just happend)

CHAPTER 2 AT "Ichixrenji-smexy love" WILL SOON BE UP!