A/N: I would like to take this minute and apologize to the readers of this story for the following, very short chapter. It was a spur of the moment thing I thought while I was…um…in the…bathroom. Too much information, sorry. Moving on! Here is my little Christmas present to you all. Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Crazy Kwanza! Tah!-v
Sirius' Christmas ListChristmas was fast approaching and Sirius was off messing with first years accompanied by the ever ready Peeves. So the other three Marauders decided to look for Sirius' Christmas list to see what they would be getting. They rummaged through all of his belongings before Remus had the good sense to look in his pillowcase. There they found the items they would be getting.
Sirius' Christmas List FOR SIRIUS' EYES ONLY James: a salt lick, a pair of hoof cleanersPeter: a running wheel, a little sock for his tail
Remus: a solid chocolate statue of me naked with liquid chocolate coming out of you know where, a little wooden paddle
Dumbledore: a bag of lime drops
Professor Flitwick: Mussolini's kick ass platform shoes
Professor McGonagall: catnip and a ball of yarn
Professor Binns: a pin up girl to put behind him so some of the kids in class will actually pay attention
Narcissa: an instruction manual on how to remove sticks that have become lodged in one's butt
Snape: a length of rope and a rickety stool
Lucius: a do-it-yourself castration kit
Mum: "Killing Your Husband" for Dummies
Dad: "Killing Your Wife" for Dummies
Regulus: "Killing Your Parents" for Dummies
ME: a picture of Remus and James naked on a bed together that I can magically post on the insides of Snape's eyelids, Peter making out with Lucius so Narcissa won't marry him, Snape announcing at breakfast that he has had along time man crush on James, and Remus, laying seductively beneath my sheets, waiting for me
A silence slithered through the boys as they stared down at the list. At some point James put the list back in its place and left the room. Peter soon followed him out. Remus stood there looking down at Sirius' bed suddenly dreading Christmas morning.