Disclaimer: Not mine, in any way, shape, or form. Copyright remains in the hands of its respective owners: ABC, Touchstone Television, and Shonda Rhimes. May they start treating it well again. Title comes from the beautiful "Nightswimming" by R.E.M.
Replaced by Everyday
Meredith clutched the file tightly in her hands and hurried after the lab coat she saw disappearing around the corner on the way down to the clinic. Derek moved quickly and was far ahead of her by the time she rounded the same corner and she saw him vanish into the elevator at the end of the hall.
"Derek!" she called after him, hoping that he'd hear her and hold the elevator. She broke into a run and was breathless when she reached the doors, where he was standing, holding them open with a grin.
"Hello," he greeted her cheerfully. Several other staff members already on the elevator exchanged knowing glances and shuffled to make room for her. She got on beside Derek and he released the doors and pressed the button for their floor.
"Derek?" he teased her, speaking softly so that only she could hear him. He was pressed against her in the crowded elevator and his warm breath fanned against the skin on the back of her neck, making her shiver.
Meredith rolled her eyes. "Dr. Shepherd," she corrected herself.
"What can I do for you, Dr. Shepherd?" he asked her, his eyes twinkling.
"Grey!"
"Mmm," he hummed.
The elevator reached the next floor and there was yet another reshuffling as half of the elevator emptied out. They continued their descent.
The second time the elevator came to a stop, Meredith stepped out, followed by her husband.
"How'd you end up on clinic duty?" she asked him, following him down the hall to the Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic. She paused outside the doors and turned to him.
He shrugged. "We all agreed that we'd volunteer hours."
Meredith smirked. "Volunteered? Or were afraid to say no to Bailey?"
"What's that?" Derek asked, pointing to the chart in her arms – and very obviously avoiding her question.
"Nothing," Meredith said casually, pulling the file away from him. "It's just something that I was wondering if you could take a look at, but clinic duty calls. You wouldn't want to piss off Bailey."
"I have a minute."
"I think it might take longer than that," Meredith told him, holding the chart firmly against her chest.
"Meredith, you're carrying it around with you and you followed me down here for a reason. Just let me take a look."
"Not here," Meredith said, glancing around nervously.
Derek shook his head, confused by her strange behaviour, but he didn't protest when she took his hand and led him into an out-of-use on-call room.
Derek raised his eyebrows and grinned at her lecherously when she closed and locked the door behind them.
"Is the chart empty?" he teased her.
"What?" Meredith asked. She caught on. "No! I just didn't want the grapevine getting wind of this yet."
"Getting wind of what?" Derek asked with a frown.
Meredith handed him the chart and then stood back, chewing on her bottom lip as she watched him study it.
"Thirty year old female," he read out loud. "Elevated hCG in the blood…" He looked up at her. "She's pregnant." He started to hand the chart back to Meredith, looking confused. "Am I missing something?"
"Patient's name," Meredith breathed.
Derek glanced at the chart again. "Meredith Shep…Mer?" He looked up from the chart again, his eyes wide.
Meredith just nodded.
"Y-y-you?" he sputtered.
She nodded again. "Yes."
Derek blinked. Once. Once more. And again.
"Derek?" Meredith questioned. "Derek, breathe."
He inhaled and exhaled on command, the respiration loosening a laugh that bubbled up from inside, spilling out over his lips in a joyous rush. He laughed and laughed, until tears were leaking from his eyes.
Meredith was quiet, watching him, unsure about how to gauge his reaction.
Finally, he gasped for air and the laughter died away, leaving him staring at her in wonder.
"You're pregnant."
"Yes."
"You're sure?" he asked, reason taking over.
Meredith gestured to the test results still in his hands.
"Right," he laughed. He shook his head. "Wow."
"Wow, good?" Meredith asked nervously.
"What?" Derek asked. "Yes! Oh my God, yes, Meredith! You're… wow. You're pregnant. We're going to have a baby."
She smiled for the first time since she'd handed him the results. "Yeah?"
"Oh, Mer," he sighed. He took a step, and then another, and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. "Meredith," he said into her hair, against her earlobe. "Mer…"
She sighed, tightening her arms around him.
"I was worried," she admitted.
He pulled back, the joyful expression he wore giving way to one that expressed worry and regret.
"What?" he asked. "Oh, God. I'm sorry, Meredith. I'm just a little awestruck here. This is just… amazing."
"Yeah?" Meredith asked. She smiled and it grew and grew until she was beaming. "Yeah."
"Yes," he said firmly. He cupped her chin with his fingers and brought their mouths together, kissing her softly. Meredith melted against him, feeling his amazement and joy in the kiss. Finally, she broke away, needing to catch her breath.
"I'm going to be a father," Derek whispered, sounding awed.
Meredith nodded. "I know that we weren't planning this, at least not yet. But I think it's okay. I think it's good."
"It's good," Derek confirmed, beaming at her. He took her hand in his and led them to the bottom bunk bed, then motioned for her to sit. He took a seat beside her.
"How long have you known?" he asked.
Meredith shrugged. "I've suspected for a while, but I wanted to be sure before I told you. I didn't want to upset you for nothing."
"Upset me?" Derek asked. "Meredith, you thought that I would be upset?"
She shrugged again. "We've only been married for a couple of months. We're living in your trailer most of the time. And… I don't know. I know we've talked about it, and we said that we'd start trying in a few months, once we're settled in the new house, but…" she trailed off, looking at him helplessly. "It happened so quickly. I thought I'd just stop taking the pill and it would take some time before it happened."
"You stopped?" Derek asked, frowning.
"I'm sorry," Meredith apologized, looking anguished. "I should have told you. Of course I should have told you. It was stupid of me not to. I just thought, you know, we'd agreed to start trying, and I figured that if it happened, it happened."
"Meredith," he interrupted her. "It's okay."
She chewed her bottom lip. "Are you sure?"
"Do I look at all unhappy?" he asked her, beaming. "I want this baby, Meredith. That's what it comes down to for me."
She was silent and he turned to her, something dawning on him.
"Do you?" he asked, his heart nearly stopping while he waited for her response. "Because it's one thing for you to stop taking the pill, but it's another thing entirely to actually be pregnant. It's real."
"I've had a couple of weeks to think about this," she confessed. "At first, I was terrified, and I didn't think I could do this, but then I started thinking about everything that has happened in the last year, and I think that if I could survive this – if we could survive it – then maybe we can have a baby. Maybe we won't completely ruin our child."
Derek shook his head.
"We can, Meredith. We're stronger than either of us thought."
"Yeah," she smiled. He reached for her hand and laced their fingers together.
"So we're going to do this?" he asked. "We're going to have a baby?"
Meredith smiled and it turned into a laugh, an infectious giggle that made Derek feel like he would burst with excitement and pride and love for her.
Of course, his pager chose just that moment to beep. Derek almost didn't hear it, over the strumming beat of his heart and Meredith's laughter. He finally glanced down at it, his smile fading.
"Crap."
"That's my line," Meredith teased him, feeling light and buoyant and happy.
"Bailey," he said.
"Oh."
"Well, maybe this is a good reason for me to be late?" he wondered.
Meredith's eyes grew wide. "You want to tell her?"
"Meredith, I want to tell everybody."
"Now?" she asked, looking alarmed. "So soon?"
Derek shrugged. "Why not?"
"Well, I don't know. I thought that maybe we could take some time to get used to it first. Maybe go for our first ultrasound, find out how far along I am, make sure that things are going the way that they're supposed to be going…" she trailed off.
"Meredith," he said calmly. "I'm sure they are. You're young, you're in good health…"
"I eat pizza and grilled cheese for breakfast," she reminded him.
"Okay, so you could stand to learn what breakfast is," he teased her. "But aside from that, there's no reason why you shouldn't have a perfectly normal pregnancy and a healthy baby."
"It's so early, Derek. There will be so many questions, and we don't have answers to any of them."
"You really want to wait?" he asked with a frown.
Meredith hesitated. "Are you going to burst?"
He laughed. "Yes."
"Just Bailey?"
"What, you're not going to tell Cristina?" he returned.
"Just Bailey and Cristina?"
Derek pulled her into a hug and pressed a kiss against her crown. "We don't have to tell anybody," he assured her.
"Right," Meredith laughed. "You won't make it five minutes. But if we tell Bailey, we should probably tell Chief Webber."
"Are we going to keep adding people?" he teased her.
"After we see the doctor," she promised him, standing up and holding her hand out to him.
He took it, and together they went off in search of Bailey.
It didn't take long to find her. She was issuing commands in a clipped tone from where she stood at the entrance to the clinic. Around her, Seattle Grace staff and patients alike moved like worker bees.
"You're late," she snapped, spotting Derek and Meredith as they approached her. "Do you think that I page you for my amusement?"
"No, Dr. Bailey," Meredith answered breathlessly. "We're sorry." She nudged her husband in the ribs.
"Do not," Bailey began, not bothering to look up from her paperwork. "Apologize for your husband. He has a mouth; he can use it."
"Sorry, Dr. Bailey," Derek apologized.
"You may be my boss, but you agreed to volunteer your services in this clinic, and I would appreciate it if you would show it as much respect as you show to any of your surgeries."
"Certainly," Derek agreed. He hesitated. "Uh, Dr. Bailey?"
She looked up.
"Can Mer… can Dr. Grey and I have a moment of your time?"
"You've already wasted twenty minutes of my time," she reminded him.
"Yes. And again, I apologize. But if we could just…"
"Work now, play later," she said shortly. She handed each of them a stack of charts. "When you get through those, I will consider your request."
She stalked off to attend to a man behind the nearest curtain and Derek turned to Meredith helplessly.
She shook her head. "She's not going to change her mind, so we may as well get through these as quickly as possible."
He sighed. "She talks about respect. What about the respect I should get as her boss?"
"Respect has to be earned!" came Bailey's voice from behind the curtain. "Get to work!"
Meredith fought the urge to laugh and turned away from Derek to find her first patient.
Hours later, they finished with the charts and found Bailey again. This time, she grudgingly gave them a moment of her time.
"Walk and talk," she ordered, moving towards the elevator.
"What?"
"Three words," she sighed. "And they're all monosyllabic. Walk. And. Talk. Move it."
They raced after her and squeezed into the elevator with her just before the doors closed. Derek reached for the stop button and Bailey narrowed her eyes at him.
"Walk and talk means that I have somewhere to be."
"We just need a minute."
"A minute is how long it would take me if the damned elevator was moving."
"I'm pregnant," Meredith blurted out without warning.
Derek beamed.
"Excuse me?" Bailey asked, shaking her head.
"Me," Meredith repeated. "I'm … well, we're going to have a baby." She gestured between herself and Derek.
"Yes," Bailey said. "I am aware what pregnant means."
"Of course," Meredith laughed nervously. "It's just… you said that you only have a minute, and so I just said it. There. Now you know."
"Now I know."
Derek cleared his throat. "Dr. Bailey, you're the first person we've told. We respect you so much, and …"
"Stop," she demanded. "You didn't tell me because of any damned respect. You told me because you think that I am going to be hard on you if I find out from one of your friends."
"Well, a little," Meredith admitted.
Bailey shook her head. "Well, I guess it's better than nothing." She narrowed her eyes at Meredith. "How far along are you?"
Meredith hesitated. "Uh, well… I don't know, exactly. I mean, I haven't seen anyone yet."
"Excuse me?" Bailey asked, putting her hands on her hips. She scowled at both of them. "When did you find out that you were pregnant?"
"For sure?" Meredith asked. "Uh, about an hour before we got to the clinic. I suspected, but I just got the test results back. I told Derek right before you paged him." She chewed on her bottom lip nervously.
"And you're telling people?"
"We're telling you," Derek corrected her. "You're not just anybody."
Bailey rolled her eyes at him, not falling for the flattery.
"Damn fools," she muttered.
"There's no good reason for us to not tell people," Meredith reasoned, recalling Derek's earlier optimism. "I'm young and healthy and there's no reason why this shouldn't be a normal pregnancy."
"You're a doctor, Grey."
Meredith licked her lips. "Yes."
"Then you know that there's no such thing as guarantees."
Meredith shifted on the balls of her feet, her gaze darting to her husband, who was frowning.
"Miranda," he started to object.
She held up her hand, effectively cutting him off before he even began. "You know that, too."
"We're excited."
"Yes," she said. "I understand. But that's no reason for you to be acting like fools."
"We were only going to tell you and Cristina for now," Meredith said softly, her gaze drifting to the floor. She toed the linoleum with her sneaker.
"And Richard," Derek added.
Bailey pursed her lips.
"Fine," she said. "I'm just advising you to wait until you've at least seen your OB-GYN."
Meredith nodded. "Right. You're right."
Bailey shook her head. "Not that any of you fools ever listen to me. It'll be all over this hospital before I leave tonight."
"Probably," Meredith laughed.
"Definitely," Derek agreed.
Bailey chuckled softly, then swivelled to face them.
"Congratulations," she said sincerely. Her gaze travelled to Meredith's still-flat abdomen. "Might do you some good to put a little meat on those bones."
She turned back to the elevator doors and reached forward to push the button that would put them back in motion.
Once Bailey had exited the elevator, Derek stopped it again, trapping them between floors. He gathered Meredith close to him and inhaled the scent of her hair.
"That wasn't so bad," he reflected.
Meredith sighed against his shoulder. "Maybe she was right. Maybe we shouldn't be telling people yet."
Derek pulled back to study her. "You know that's an old wives tale, right?"
Meredith sighed again. "I know. But I can't help thinking that we're going to jinx it."
"We don't have to tell anybody else," he told her, stroking her hair.
"Really?"
"Really," Derek confirmed.
"Well, Bailey already knows," Meredith reasoned.
"She does."
"And we really should tell Chief Webber."
"I'm not saying a word, Mer. Whatever you want."
"We should," she said firmly.
"Okay," he agreed. "And Cristina?"
"I have to tell Cristina. She's Cristina. She won't gush or anything, but I want to tell her."
"I know," Derek said, kissing her forehead. "So, Richard's office?"
She nodded and waited for him to start the elevator again.
Richard Webber's office door was open, and they found him behind his desk, signing paperwork as his assistant Patricia hovered nearby.
"Richard," Derek said warmly, not waiting for an invitation to enter the office. Meredith followed her husband, hovering behind him as they moved towards the rich leather chairs that sat in front of the desk.
"Derek," Richard responded. He smiled when he saw Meredith. "Meredith. Hello."
"Hi," she said nervously.
"Sit, sit," he said to both of them, gesturing towards the chairs. Derek pulled Meredith's back for her and waited for her to be seated before he took the one beside hers.
"I'm sorry, was I expecting you?" Richard asked, sitting down again.
"No," they answered simultaneously. Meredith blushed.
Richard chuckled. "Well, what brings you up here?"
Derek cleared his throat. "Actually, we have some news."
Meredith glanced nervously at Patricia, not wanting to ask the woman to leave, but wishing that she'd voluntarily do so.
Patricia smiled. "Can I get anyone something to drink?"
"No," Meredith replied, even though her throat was suddenly dry and scratchy. "Thank you."
"No thank you," Derek repeated, beaming at the woman. He couldn't stop smiling.
Richard lifted the mug on his desk. "I'm good. Thank you, Patricia."
She nodded and left the room, closing the heavy door behind her.
"So," Richard began, steepling his fingers and leaning back in this chair. "You have news?"
"Yes," Meredith breathed, feeling like she was going to jump out of her skin.
She glanced at Derek, who sat silently, a grin from ear to ear.
"Well, uh," Meredith began, wishing that her husband would jump in again, as he'd done earlier with Bailey. "See, the thing is that… uh…"
Richard nodded.
"You're pregnant."
Meredith blinked.
"Yes," she whispered, wondering why she felt so afraid of his reaction. People on staff had babies all the time, even second year residents. She almost smiled to herself, but bit on her lip to restrain it. She knew why she was so nervous. She didn't consider Richard Webber to be her surrogate father or anything, but he had been good to her – partly because of a promise he'd made to her mother, but also because it seemed that he had a genuine affection for Meredith, and she didn't want to disappoint him. She wanted him to be as happy about her pregnancy as she and Derek were.
He didn't disappoint. His face lit up and he stood again, rounding the desk to pull Meredith to her feet and envelop her in a hug. She stood frozen against him for a moment, shocked by the development and a little wary of it, but Richard chuckled and congratulated her and she melted a little.
Finally, Richard released her and turned his attention to Derek. Her husband stood and he and Richard shook hands, before Richard pulled him forward to hug him as well.
"How far along are you?" Richard asked once they'd all returned to their seats.
Meredith sighed. "Well, I don't know that yet."
Richard frowned. "You mean that you haven't seen an OB-GYN yet?"
Meredith shook her head. "I'm going to schedule an appointment as soon as I can."
"I can make a few calls if you'd like. I'm sure somebody can free up their schedule a bit."
"It's fine," Meredith assured him. "I can wait like everybody else."
"Absolutely not," Richard said firmly.
"Dr. Webber…"
"Meredith, everyone who has the opportunity takes advantage of their connections," he said. "You will be no different. I'll pull some strings." He shrugged as though it were no big deal.
She sighed, knowing that it was useless to protest. "Okay," she finally agreed. "Thank you."
"How are you doing?" Richard asked, turning his attention to Derek.
"Floating on Cloud Nine," Derek laughed.
By the time that they finally left Richard's office, Meredith felt as though she'd been through the wringer. Richard was excited for them, and told Meredith that they would accommodate her as much as she wanted them to, which was a relief, but at the same time, she left his office feeling much less excited than she'd been when they'd gone in.
Derek noticed her change of mood, and when they were inside the empty elevator, he turned to her.
"Are you okay?" he asked gently.
"Yeah," she replied, forcing a smile onto her face.
"Mer…"
"Everything is going to change," she said softly, looking down at the floor.
"Yes," he agreed. "But in a good way." She could hear the concern in his voice and looked up to find him frowning. "You do think so, don't you? You're not getting cold feet?"
She shrugged and when his face fell, she rushed to reassure him.
"It's just that it's real now. I mean, now that Dr. Webber and Bailey know. It's not just the two – the three – of us."
Derek's frown deepened. "We don't have to tell anyone else."
"Cristina will be hurt if she finds out another way."
"Do you think that Richard and Miranda are going to tell anyone?"
Meredith shrugged, and then shook her head. "No."
"Then Cristina won't find out until you want her to find out," he assured her. "Why don't we go home and relax and just spend some time getting used to the idea?" he suggested.
"My shift is only half over," Meredith laughed.
"Ah. Well, that's one of the benefits of being married to your boss," he winked.
"Derek!"
He laughed. "Let's go home, Mer."
She shook her head resolutely. "No. People will get suspicious. And then Cristina will figure it out, trust me."
He sighed. "Okay. Well, then I guess I'll just wait for you because as of ten minutes ago, I am officially done for the day."
"Must be nice to be a high powered attending," Meredith commented, resting against him.
"Must be," he agreed. He kissed her forehead, and right before the elevator doors opened, he whispered: "I'll see you in the lobby at six, Mommy."
Meredith rolled her eyes, but couldn't stop the joyful smile from spreading across her face.
Derek almost spilled the beans more times than he could count just during the trip from the elevator to his office. By the time Meredith met him in the lobby, he was literally squirming in his seat and he jumped to his feet as soon as he appeared.
"You're late."
"I had some post-op notes I wanted to do before I left," she said, smiling tiredly.
Derek frowned. "You work too hard."
Meredith rolled her eyes. "Oh, are you seriously going to do this, Derek? Seriously?"
"What?" he asked innocently.
"Start in on the delicate flower thing?" she asked with a frown.
"I'm just saying that you don't always notice when you're running yourself into the ground. It's my job to make sure that you don't do that."
"Says who?" she asked defensively.
"Meredith," he said in a placating tone. "I'm not trying to stop you from doing what you want to do. I just want to take care of you. Why is that a bad thing?"
Meredith adjusted the straps of her purse on her shoulder.
"I'm your husband," he reminded her.
"Yeah."
"You'd do the same for me," he said gently.
Meredith rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, if you could get pregnant…"
Derek laughed and held out his hand to her. She took it and they walked through the hospital doors toward Derek's car.
On the way home, Meredith informed him that before she'd come down stairs, Chief Webber had pulled her aside and had given her the name of three OB-GYNs who he thought would be their best options. Meredith handed the list to Derek and he scanned it quickly while they were stopped at a red light.
"I'm sure they're all good," he agreed.
"But they're not the best," Meredith guessed, reading his mind.
"Well, no."
"Addison's the best."
"She is," he agreed. "But I know that it would be uncomfortable for all of us. If you decide that we should start telling people, I'd like to ask her about this list. She knows these people far better than either of us do."
Meredith nodded. "Can I think about it?" she asked.
"Of course."
They boarded the ferry and got out to go up to the deck, where Meredith stood shivering in her light sweater.
Derek wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck.
"I want to come to all of your appointments," he told her.
Meredith laughed. "You don't have to."
"I want to," he insisted, rubbing her arms to stave off the cold. "I want to be involved in all of this, Mer."
She turned in his arms to face him, trailing her fingertips along the line of his jaw. "You really want to tell everyone, don't you?" she laughed.
Derek grinned sheepishly.
"Well," she said. "Go ahead."
"What?" he asked her.
Meredith shrugged and motioned around them. "Go ahead," she repeated. "Yell. Get it out of your system."
Derek laughed. "Mer, it's okay."
"No," she said solemnly, shaking her head. "I want you to do this. Tell the world, Derek."
He grinned at her, then quirked his eyebrow, looking for one last assurance.
Meredith smiled encouragingly. "We're having a baby," she prompted him.
"Yeah," he breathed.
"So?"
"We're having a baby!" he exclaimed.
"Yes."
"We're having a baby!" he said again, a little louder. This time, several people around them turned and smiled benevolently.
"We're having a baby!" he yelled. A couple of people chuckled and Derek reached for Meredith's hand, pulling her towards the railing of the ferry.
He climbed up on the first rung of the railing.
"Is this one of those 'I'm the king of the world' things?" she asked, her voice full of laughter. He took another step up.
"I'm the --," he started, before turning to wink at her. He turned back to the Sound. "We're having a baby!" he yelled so loudly that his voice broke. He jumped off the railing and pulled Meredith close. His voice was hoarse but gentle as he kissed her and then pulled back to tell her that he loved her.
"We're having a baby," Meredith laughed and let herself get carried along in his excitement and joy.