Title: The Healing Process
Genre: Romance
Disclaimer: I don't own James or Moneypenny, their world or the lyrics of SexyBack and Don't Know Why. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: I forgot to mention it, but I wrote this and "Scars" with Samantha Bond as Moneypenny and Pierce Brosnan as 007. I tried not to picture them, but I failed. ) She was my first Moneypenny and he my first Bond, so I couldn't help it. Aren't they cute together though? I love how she brought the spunk back to the role in Goldeneye...Anyway, read, enjoy and review if you wish.
Music blasted from the speakers, songs he didn't know that sounded reasonably modern and upbeat. James stood by the refreshments table, suspiciously close to the drinks, as he watched others dance rather than participate himself. He felt like an old relic amongst youngsters; a feeling he didn't care much to indulge in. Gail, the bride, laughed and clapped her hands after she tossed her bouquet into the hoardes of women. They all squabbled at once, screaming and shoving one another aside.
In a matter of minutes, the commotion was alleviated by the discovery of the one who ended up with the flowers. They grew quieter as everyone eyed the woman who looked spectacular in the amethyst colored gown, clutching the slightly rumpled bouquet in her arms. James was amused to see a rather disheveled Moneypenny sheepishly inching over towards him, trying to get over what was probably embarrassment. The crowd dissipated back into their own sub groups, and the reception carried on like nothing had happened.
She stumbled over the long skirt of her gown on her way to him.
"I don't deny that Gail's choice of dress turned out to be incredibly beautiful, but the designer obviously didn't think of how the bridesmaids would feel moving about in it with ridiculously high heels on-" Moneypenny complained. She set the bouquet down on the edge of the table and adjusted her skirt so it wasn't in her way. James took her hand so that she wouldn't lose her balance as she undid the straps of her shoes. They were indeed ridiculously high, at least four inches, and if that wasn't bad enough, they were stilettos as well.
"You look wonderful, Penny." He said. She smiled at him, but it didn't quite hide the grimace of pain.
"Oh yes. That's definitely going to be a blister," She groaned as she held the pair of shoes in her hand. Without hesitation, she threw them to the floor.
The mood suddenly changed as the speakers began to blast a contagious beat. An extremely synthesized man's voice came on, "I'm bringin' sexy back..." Moneypenny broke into a huge grin, contrasting her partner's scowl.
"Come on James, let's dance!" She grabbed his hand and tried to lead him out, but he didn't budge.
"I don't think so, I don't do Justin Timberlake." The complete absurdity of the image sent her into a fit of laughter. "My my, 007. I'm surprised you even know his name. Oh, come on, it won't hurt to be silly for a few moments!" She tugged on his hand again and this time, he followed her. They went into the heart of the crowd, surrounded by friends and colleagues who were all moving (or trying to move) to the song.
"-cuz you're burning up for me and that's a fact...Take 'em to da chorus! Come here girl, go 'head be gone with it..."
It was awkward at first, Moneypenny couldn't quite figure out how to dance to a song like this and James just didn't know what the hell he was doing. With each line, she found her rhythm and soon she was shaking her hips to the music. James held her, not too much into her personal space, but close enough to be considered as her dancing partner.
He watched her, admiring her raw sensuality. It was a quality of hers that he didn't get to see very often except for when they attended events outside the office like this one. Her hair fell down her shoulders in loose waves, curling wildly around her face, and there was a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. Her mild perfume blended with her fruity shampoo pleasantly permeated the air around them.
"Good god, this is fun!" She cried through the noise, ejaculating a laugh. He grinned at her. "I didn't know you could dance like this."
"Only when it's called for," Moneypenny replied with a sparkle in her eyes. The song changed yet again, but this time neither of them could recognize it. At the moment, neither cared.
Two hours passed and they hadn't left the floor. The throng had decreased since people had started leaving as it was nearing eleven. The DJ had moved past the fast songs and began to wind down the party with slower ones. Right then, Norah Jones's "Don't Know Why" was playing. The song was lovely, a kind of mellow jazz that allowed Moneypenny to rest her head on James's chest. He kept his arm snugly wrapped around her waist, and they moved calmly, as if they were the only couple there.
"Out across the endless sea, I would die of ecstasy...But I'll be a bag of bones...Driving down the road alone...My heart is drenched with wine-"
"So...How are things with what's his name?...David, still going strong?"
She appeared puzzled at the name, but then something clicked. A shadow crossed her face, one that dimmed the light in her blue eyes.
"Ah. That David. Well, let's just say that he's not all he's cracked up to be." Her tone held resentment. James frowned.
"What's he done Penny?" She shrugged and ran the back of her hand over her forehead. She looked back at him.
"He kept questioning what I really do for a living. I had to reinforce my cover multiple times, he'd call my number at the Office constantly and ask for me. They vouched for me as an employee of Universal Exports, but he would still pester me about it all the time at home. Our conversations almost always ended badly...you get the picture. Once I even caught him looking through my things!" Her voice grew angry at that, but then it lost its sharpness immediately.
"Long story short, I threw him out and haven't heard from him for two weeks."
His arm that was around her tightened protectively. "I missed being trusted. He was a sweet chap, he meant well, but in the end it just didn't work. You were right about trying to combine this job and love. It always ends in a mess."
"Come home with me now. You know I love you," He whispered, speaking on impulse. It seemed to be a recurring trait that she brought out in him.
Her eyebrow was raised when she replied. "I wish you wouldn't say things like that."
James positioned her hand over his heart. "Can't you tell?" Moneypenny grinned a small smile, thinking this was turning into another round of banter.
"007, you're a married man! To an old fogie named SIS!" She swatted him lightly over the shoulder. He rolled his eyes in mock-exasperation.
"You would do well to accept my proposals, Penny dear." He said teasingly.
"I don't think so. But by all means, please don't stop trying." She smiled as she caressed his cheek. Those blue-grey eyes were so diverting, every feature on his face radiated masculinity. She mused that he would probably make a very good boyfriend, if he ever changed his ways. She gazed further into his eyes and figured that the walls that guarded his innermost thoughts would always be erected too high to let anyone fully in. He had been betrayed one too many times, she also believed that this man couldn't possibly let go of a lifestyle he'd known for half his life. 007 and James were two entirely different people, James was not free to commit himself to a serious relationship especially with what happened the last time he tried to settle into a normal man's life.
She knew that he was a womanizer. After all she was the one who had to edit those parts out of his mission reports before M read them. She also knew his type, she'd seen it again and again. The ones he had a liking for were edgy, glamorous, they lived for the day somewhat like he did, not to mention they could shoot a gun.
She was comfy in a ponytail and jogging shorts. She was always one for permanence, while she was only an average markswoman.
Moneypenny was amused by her quickness to compare herself to James's women. Jealousy was not a frequent emotion that she encountered especially for someone that wasn't hers to start with and she didn't feel inclined to get herself all worked up over silly little things like this.
These thoughts weren't getting her anywhere. She took a sweeping survey of the place and noticed that the bar had become inconsiderably less occupied.
"I'm thirsty. Want to buy me a glass of wine?" Her eyes danced with confidence. Anybody could see that Jane Vivien Moneypenny was her own woman and scarcely felt threatened by others. Tonight she was glorious in her forwardness, her ability to attract stares from plenty of men was noticeable yet she barely so much as flicked her eyes in their general direction.
"Only if I'm allowed to join you."
"Why of course." She replied, inwardly embarrassed for sounding not unlike the coquettes James was infamous for bedding.
They abandoned the dance floor which was only being used by about maybe five or six couples. Moneypenny took a seat on a bar stool and James sat right next to her. The bartender immediately asked for their orders, his was his trademark vodka and hers was a Waltzing Matilda. He raised an eyebrow at her choice of drink, to which she answered with a shrug.
"I feel like one."-Was her honest answer. He found her utterly endearing in the respect that she had no idea of all the glares he was receiving from surrounding men. She just wasn't interested in their attentions, whether or not it was because of her recently failed relationship he did not know. But right here in the moment, he was the companion she happened to choose for the evening and it seemed that a lot of people weren't very pleased with him.
They drank at leisure, conversed about common interests and laughed together. James was surprised to discover she liked hunting.
"Oh but I don't go anymore," She exclaimed, "I think it's cruel nowadays, when I was growing up in Africa I hunted out of necessity rather than thinking of the sport as a hobby."
He nodded his agreement, then paused to think."You never did talk much of your childhood. I'd like to hear some tales of the young Moneypenny, no doubt she was already a skilled typist by the age of three." James said half-jokingly. She smiled at him but said nothing, she only took a sip from her glass.
"Actually, I was a simple child. I rolled in dirt, played with the animals and helped out on my parent's farm." She recalled fondly. He noticed some sadness tinging her remark, she was obviously homesick despite her years in England.
He couldn't help a chuckle at the thought of this well-groomed, no nonsense woman rolling around in filth and munching on insects as her parents scolded her.
A thought struck him, a memory of reading her personnel file a long time ago when he was a newly minted agent and she had just been recruited to work for the service. Like him, Moneypenny had lost both her parents prematurely. If his mind served him correctly, she lost her father first when he was commisioned in Russia during the Cold War and had gone missing. His body was never recovered and she kept up hope that eventually dissipated. Her mother on the other hand slowly succumbed to grief and then was unfortunately caught in terrible crossfire during a bloody feud between two tribes in Nairobi.
James didn't know what to say. He sensed that discussion on her childhood was not something she liked to envoke, so he sought to turn the conversation a different course through humor.
"Well, maybe I can try my hand at barbecuing grasshoppers and roasting beetles one day. You can sample them."
She snorted softly, but he was glad to see that the wistful longing in her eyes had evaporated. "Maybe I will take you up on that offer, after you arrive home from Korea."
The reminder hung unspoken in the space between them. It worried her and it showed in the way she fiddled with her necklace, after all there was no guarantee that he would return home safely. The outcome of his upcoming mission was unpredictable; all she had were figures and statistics, probablilities of his chances for survival that were almost always low.
Moneypenny took a look at the clock that was mounted on the wall by the shelves of bottles behind the counter. It was 2:34 am, and now that she thought about it, she felt tired down to her bones. James didn't look tired, but he was trained to go for days without rest. Ever the gentleman, he would probably let her retire out of friendly concern.
"I think it's time I caught a cab." She admitted. James paid for their drinks and left the reception after bidding goodbyes to Gail and her new hubby. James was even kind enough to whistle at a driver for her. He pulled up to the curb and Moneypenny lifted the train of her gown so that she could successfully get into the car without hurting herself or James.
"Thank you. I had a good time tonight." The light from the streetlamp highlighted her features, making her eyes more prominent than ever, her cheeks more defined and lips full and luscious.
"You're very welcome. Good night." He lingered in the door for a second before he shut it and the cab drove off.
Moneypenny spent much of the ride home thinking of him and the way they seemed to fit each other perfectly as he held her close while dancing.
The next few days were not very eventful. She reported to the office as usual at 0900 hours and there were only minimal tasks to be done. Mostly, she spent time behind her desk, occupying herself with her weekly briefings on current operations and affairs.
This morning was no different from the rest. She rose early to walk her standard poodle named Uhuru around the block as well as getting some exercise along the way. She left her flat at around 7:30 to run some errands before going to work, which gave her a leisurely two hour window for her to run around the city. By the time she reached the office, it was well into mid-morning.
She sank into the swivel chair behind her desk, leaning slightly forward so that she could leaf through the papers in her inbox. The stack was minimal, lessening the strange pressure in her chest. The less papers there were, it meant the less casualties she had to take care of on behalf of the 00 agents. Other than signing those out and fetching M her coffee, there wasn't anything else for her to do.
Her restlessness led her to the firing range, M herself told her to take a forty five minute lunch break and to check back in after in case something did turn up. Moneypenny checked out all the equipment; a Baby Browning, some earmuffs, gloves and ammunition. She settled herself in a booth more or less in the center, somewhat exhilarated at the thought of sharpening her shooting skills. She requested to have still targets for twenty minutes and then shoot-no shoot targets after.
'Focus, Jane.' She steeled her wits, raising the Browning. She switched off the safety and took aim at her first target. It must have been at least ten feet away, not very challenging even for her, and she pulled the trigger with lady-like grace. The sound of the shot vibrated through her, every muscle tensing to counter the force of it.
She went through each one pretty easily, twenty minutes passed like clockwork. She lowered her arms, noticing a tiny yet bothersome ache in her shoulders. Moneypenny shook it off, thinking of how she used to hunt wild game when she was a child and could track prey for hours before getting tired.
'You're not fourteen anymore, old girl,' A voice pointed out to her sarcastically.
With an irritation at her own body, she spotted the first target of her shoot-no shoot session. It was a man in a aggressively pinstriped suit, pointing a machine gun menacingly at her. She moved on reflex alone as she shot at him. Her bullet pierced him through his stomach, considerably lowering than where she was hoping to hit, but for the moment she was glad that she got him at all. The next one was a woman with a rather large handbag, if she wasn't paying more attention, she would have missed the tiny pistol she had hidden behind it.
Moneypenny chewed the inside of her lip with the passing of each target. Every shot that she fired, her arms felt heavier and her fingers lost their agility. She felt a bead of sweat rolling down her forehead, but she didn't dare lift a hand to wipe it off.
The tiny piece of metal in her hands had so much potential for disaster, thoughts of what could happen if something went wrong jetted fleetingly through her mind. The mere feeling of the bullet being pelted out with all that force began to make her nervous, uneasy with all the power she possessed despite the fact that she was only holding a tiny pistol. She was immeasurably relieved when the signal came on for the end of her session.
She placed the gun on the counter with a trembling hand before removing her earmuffs. Her hair was mussed, red strands going left and right in uneven waves. She reached up to run her fingers through it, not really caring about styling it. Her tank top was wrinkled, her sweat pants rolled up over her knees. She looked nothing like the put-together woman she was most of the time.
"Now I know I should never make you very angry with me," A wonderfully teasing voice said. She looked up to see James dressed similarly with his own set of shooting equipment. His eyes were slightly admiring, forgetting that she was a civilian and gazing at her like a fellow agent.
"I wouldn't get too close to myself, if I were you. Never know what might happen..." Moneypenny spun the Baby around on her index finger. She leaned against the wall, appearing invitingly challenging and ready for a match with her favorite spy.
"Ah, you'd never hurt me. You couldn't bear to see me in pain for a second."
"Care to find out?" She retorted. She smirked, lips pouting in a way that inexplicably made him a little more eager to say something witty. He found it pleasing to see her laugh.
"Maybe later. I've got my own session to complete. Q's recommendation," He explained.
"Ah. Of course. What time are you and the American leaving tomorrow?"
"Her name is Giacinta."
"Ah," She couldn't help the tiny bit of scorn from her voice. James didn't appear to notice, he looked rather preoccupied. Moneypenny knew that this was going to be another invitation to that post-mission dinner that never seemed to happen.
"Can we have dinner when I get back?" He asked openly. For once, she had an excuse to decline.
"I'm actually thinking of using up all those weeks of leave I saved up. I haven't asked M yet, but I've already got a replacement ready."
He frowned. "How about drinks again then? We can go someplace tropical, Boracay is beautiful this time of year-"
"No thank you."
"Pen,"
"Ask one of the other girls, they're all much prettier than I. Ask Mary in Q Branch-"
"I want your mind, not your body."
"No." Her answer was firmly grounded. He seemed to back away, disappointment furrowed in his dark brow. She wondered why it was so natural for her to refuse, she felt like she was fighting fate after each exchange between them.
James only looked at her with mild anguish, it was an expression that rattled her because she didn't think it would hurt him too deeply. Why now? Why was he so pained when she had said no for years and years, back then he didn't so much as skip a beat when she played her 'hard to get' routine?
"Give my regards to David then. Have a nice holiday," His indifference and sudden cordial manner threw her off, but he turned away from her and readied his gun. His earmuffs were placed on, so she couldn't even say goodbye to him.
"Goodbye James." Moneypenny murmured sadly as she left the shooting range. The gunfire was terrifying in its volume, each shot felt as if it were aimed at her but the bullets never hit. She wondered if this was going to be the last time she'd see him.
TBC...
A/N: So...what do ya think? I worked for so long on this fic...Please review! "Old Wounds Reopened" is being polished and cleaned up, so that's what's coming after this.