Highest Bidder:
Chapter One
Sasuke knew that from the moment Naruto raised his hand and stood up from his plastic folding chair, something idiotic would come from the man's mouth.
"I know, I know!" Naruto shouted, waving his hand in the air incessantly. "Pick me, you old hag!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair lazily. Him, Naruto, and the other twenty-something members of their ANBU squad were sitting in a large circle in the Hokage's office. The problem? The squad was getting extremely low on supplies, and with very little money, they weren't able to buy the weapons, food, board, and medical supplies that they needed to complete their missions. The solution? Well, that's what they were trying to figure out.
Tsunade shared Sasuke's reluctant, bored expression and yawned. "What is it, Naruto? Something to do with ramen, I presume?"
A few of the other members chuckled, but the overly-excited blonde-haired man ignored them. That was something he was quite proficient at: not paying attention to other people.
"Well," Naruto began in a hushed tone. "You know how you see on those T.V. shows? Where this team has this auction of their team members? And people in a crowd bids on each of the team members? And the highest bidder gets that member as their personal slave for a week?" He leaned forward, so energized he could've wet himself. "How about we do that!"
The room was silent after his proclamation for a moment before everyone burst out laughing.
"Dear god, you're shitting me, right?"
"Jesus, Naruto!"
"I'm sure that'll work, genius!"
Sasuke remained silent and glanced at Naruto, who looked rather hurt. Sure, his ideas were rather stupid, but it must've stung to get shot down every time something came out of your mouth.
Tsunade frowned and banged her fist on her desk. The ANBU squad immediately became quiet.
"Come on, that's just plain rude!" The Hokage shouted. "And besides, it's not as if the rest of you have come up with better ideas!" She glared at Chouji, who squirmed in his seat. "Like a bake sale?" Her hardened gaze was transferred to Kiba. "Or a dog wash?"
Naruto grinned victoriously. "Yeah, seriously."
Tsunade rested her elbows on her desk and laced her fingers together. "We have enough single women in this village that I'm sure this…erm, auction thing would actually work out pretty nicely."
Shikamaru crossed his arms. "Yeah, but who would want any of us as their slaves for a week?"
He had a point there. Sasuke trailed his eyes over his comrades. There was Kiba, who was unattractively scratching his crotch; Chouji, who was devouring a bag of chips; Naruto, who was busy picking his nose; Shino, who was just…creepy; and the rest of them, who weren't exactly what you called great catches.
Tsunade chuckled. "Oh, but I do think our lovely captain could roll us in a hefty amount of dough." She looked at Sasuke, brow raised. "Don't you think so, Captain?"
Everyone in the room turned to him, and Sasuke could feel twenty pairs of eyes boring into him. God, he hated it when people stared. Bunch of rude bastards.
He shrugged. "I think it's stupid. There's no way we could raise money by prostituting ourselves-"
Naruto scowled, prepared to defend his suggestion. "Hey, it's not prostituting, it's being someone's slave for a week!"
"And besides, Uchiha." Tsunade waved her hand carelessly. "I'm sure that if we put you up for auction, we could get enough money to get us by for a few years."
Kiba snorted. "Yeah, baby face, I can think of a few girls who'd give up a million yen to have you as their whore-" Naruto gave him a dirty look, and he quickly added, "I mean, slave."
The idea which was criticized just a few moments before was now getting full support.
"The captain can get us a shit load of money!"
"Hell yeah, every girl in the entire village wants him!"
"Hey, do you think some girl would bid on me?"
Sasuke shook his head in disbelief and dug his nails into his face. "Tsunade…please…no."
Tsunade sighed. "It's your decision, Captain. We've been here for an hour now."
After she said that, Sasuke was bombarded by his comrades. They jumped up from their chairs and shouted at him to approve of the idea. Naruto was actually standing on his chair, pumping his fists into the air and screaming "Thank me, gentlemen! It was my idea!". Total and utter chaos
"Captain, please!!!" They all said at once. "We need that money badly!"
Sasuke groaned and took his hands away from his face. They were so damn demanding! Even though he was supposed to put his team before him, there was no way he could become some chick's slave for week! Think of the things that'd make him do!
"Guys," he said warily. "Come on-"
"NO!"
Sasuke grimaced. "Jesus, guys-"
"Say yes, Captain!"
He sighed deeply and gritted his teeth. "Fine, fine, FINE! We'll do this damn auction…thing."
The other members cheered. Sasuke regretted. And the meeting was adjourned.
Tenten sat down on the couch next to Hinata and handed her a cold soda can. "So? Did you hear about that auction thing?"
Hinata tapped the top of the can with her index finger. "The what?"
The other girl took a sip from her own soda and sighed. "Yeah, apparently a few days ago one of the ANBU squads decided that they're gonna auction off their members to be someone's personal slave for a week."
"…Oh," Hinata said quietly as she opened up her soda, uninterested.
Tenten set her can down on the glass surface of the coffee table. "It's tonight." She playfully nudged her in the shoulder. "Come on, we should go!"
Hinata ran her finger around the rim of the soda can. "I dunno…"
Tenten pursed her lips. "Oh, it'll be fun! That squad has a lotta cute guys on it!"
The Hyuuga shrugged. "But…I dunno…"
Tenten clicked her tongue. "Hinata, seriously, I think you could use some company in this boring old apartment."
Hinata looked up from the can. Her living room, which they were sitting in, was completely white and had no sort of decoration whatsoever. The kitchen to their left was so clean that it looked as though it had never been used. And though they couldn't see the bedroom from where they were, Hinata could see it in her mind's eye: a bed, a nightstand, and a dresser. Nothing too exciting.
She set down her soda next to Tenten's. "Maybe…but they'd only be with me for a week."
Tenten rested her arm on the couch's stiff cream-colored pillows. "But you can make them your permanent boyfriend if you tried!"
Hinata held her left hand to her mouth and began to lightly chew the tip of her thumb nail. A bad habit, something she couldn't seem to get rid of. "Um…who's going up for…ya know…sale?"
Tenten scratched her chin in thought. "Hm…let's see, there are Kiba and Shino, of course." She looked at Hinata out of the corner of her eye. "Not really your type?"
"Oh, well, they're nice!" Hinata said quickly.
Tenten scoffed. "Yeah…anyways, Shikamaru's on there, and Chouji too…oh!" She snapped her fingers. "Naruto is too!"
The other girl blushed. "Re-really!"
"Yup." Tenten sighed wistfully, a far-away look in her eyes. "And of course, their captain."
"Who?"
"Sasuke, of course!" Tenten licked her lips. "Oh man, the girls will be killing each other over him tonight!"
Hinata shrugged again. "Mm…I've never really talked to him…"
"Who cares, he's fine!" Tenten stretched her arms above her head. "You should go for him, Hinata. He's a real winner."
"But I-"
"And if you do manage to win, you better share!"
Later that evening, crowds of mostly eighteen year-old girls began pouring into the building where the Hokage's office was. One of the large conference rooms had been transformed into the auctioning area, complete with a podium and a make-shift stage with a rather lame excuse for a curtain. Sasuke peered from behind a door that was to the right of the stage from which the "items for sale" would enter the when they were called. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He'd rather have been selling cookies or washing dogs, anything but this.
He felt something jab sharply into his shoulder and he turned around. "What, Naruto?"
"Are you as stoked as I am?" He whispered excitedly.
"No."
"Psht, you're such a downer."
Sasuke shook his head and looked back at the dimly lit room, which was filling up quickly. His stomach dropped when he saw a flash of pink hair followed by a long blonde ponytail enter through the door. Dear god, he could only hope that neither of those two didn't win him as a servant for a week.
A few minutes later, after every seat in the house was filled with the body of a young woman, Tsunade climbed onto the stage, and the room became absolutely still and silent. Sasuke saw her positively beam as observed the large crowd.
"Thank you, ladies, for showing up tonight and supporting your ANBU forces!" She paused as a few people applauded politely. "We have a great bunch of young men tonight, and if happen to be a lucky gal who's the highest bidder on any of these men, you take them home for a week as you're personal slave!"
The crowd roared with approval and clapped their hands enthusiastically. Tsunade waited for them to calm down before she continued.
"Now, unfortunately, there are a few rules." Someone in the audience groaned loudly. Judging by their loud, annoying high-pitched voice, Sasuke guessed that it was Ino. "Rule number one: you can't make these guys do anything illegal." She waited, and then went on. "Two, they are my fighting boys, and we need them to protect our village. Please don't cause them any physical harm, alright? And the last rule…" She smiled and held up her pinkey. "Let's keep the sex to a minimum."
Sasuke slapped his forehead as every woman in the room shrieked and screamed and cheered excitedly. This was beyond stupid. He made a mental note to kill Nartuto for even bringing this whole idiotic thing up.
Tsunade moved behind the podium, clearing up the stage. "Alrighty then, let's get this thing going!"
Pretty much the same thing happened with every ANBU member who walked onto the stage: they'd stand there awkwardly while Tsunade called out for any bids, the crowd would remain completely silent, and someone would finally, probably out of pity, bid 1000 yen, meaning that they won and the poor sap could finally get to get off the stage. The Hokage had told Sasuke before the show that they were saving him for last, and it was finally approaching his turn.
His heart plummeted as Naruto slumped off the stage to join the elderly woman who had the winning bid (500 yen). It was now his turn. Oh goody.
Tsunade cleared her throat. "Can you give me a sec, ladies? I need to go talk to our last item up for sale."
She crossed the stage as the crowd burst into excited conversation and smiled sadistically at Sasuke as she walked through the door.
"Uchiha, you've probably figured out by now that we're not making much money here."
Sasuke smirked. "And why is that my problem?"
Tsunade poked him in the chest. "Because you need to make up for it! We need you to roll in a lot of money!"
"…Okay."
"And you know what would help?" Tsunade tugged at his black t-shirt. "If you took off this."
Sasuke felt all the color drain from his face. "N-No! God no!"
Tsunade proceeded to yank off his shirt, despite his protests. "Aw, come on, take one for the team!"
Sasuke struggled to put his shirt back over his shoulders. "Shit, Tsunade, no-"
"Oh, don't be such a pussy!"
"Fuck you!"
By that time, Tsunade had Sasuke's shirt in her hands. She threw it in the corner and gave him a once-over. "Oh yeah, baby, you're sure to make big bucks."
The man rubbed his bare shoulders and seethed. "Oh, I hate you so much."
The Hokage cocked her head and grinned triumphantly. "I think you'll hate me even more after this."
She shoved Sasuke in the back and he stumbled onto the stage. All the talking in the room came to a halt and he could feel everyone staring at him. Sasuke fought the urge to stomp back off the stage but instead raised his hand and waved.
"Uh…yo."
That's when the screaming started.
"Homigawd, it's him!"
"He's so buff and sexy!"
"He's mine, mine, MINE!"
Tsunade reappeared next to him and held out her arms. "Ladies, the moment you've all been waiting for: the Captain of this squad, the one and only Uchiha Sasuke!"
Sasuke felt his face burn as the shouts, wails, and wistful stares continued. He could've died right there.
'God, if you love me,' he prayed, 'please burn down this building right now.'
Tsunade took her place behind the podium. "Let's see…he's about 6'4", blood type B, very muscular, as you can see." She looked at Sasuke and touched her bicep. "Come on, sweetie, show them. Don't be shy."
He glared daggers at her before sighing and reluctantly flexing his arms. The crowd whistled loudly, and the Uchiha felt his face burn. Dear god, he felt so cheap. How could male dancers actually put up with this shit?
'Probably because they get paid to do it,' he thought scornfully.
Sasuke stood in the position for a few moments when he heard the clatter of footsteps up the stage. He turned and his frown deepened. Naruto had climbed onto the stage next to him, wearing a rather unsettling smirk on his face.
"Naruto," Sasuke hissed. "Get off."
Naruto ignored him and quickly stepped behind him, causing the hairs on the back of Sasuke's neck to prick up. "If you think that's amazing, wait till you see his package!"
Before the other man could do anything, Naruto grabbed the rim of his pants, making sure to grab his boxers along with them, and yanked them down to the floor. Sasuke stood there, frozen in shock and completely naked in front of a crowd of two hundred or more women.
And that's when the pandemonium started. The fan girl screaming was so intense, Sasuke thought his ear drums would burst.
"OH MY GOD!"
"HE'S FUCKING NAKED!"
"HE SHAVES, HE SHAVES!"
The screams brought the poor, naked man to his senses and he hurriedly grabbed his pants off the floor and pulled them back up. He whipped his head around and faced Naruto. If looks could killl, that poor little blonde bastard would be slaughtered.
"NARUTO!" He roared above the frantic screams that filled the room. "YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD! YOU HEAR? DEAD!!!"
But by that time, Naruto was already off the stage. Sasuke focused his mean stare on Tsunade, who stopped shaking with laughter and cleared her throat loudly.
"Bidding starts at 8000 yen!"
"8000 yen!" Someone screamed almost immediately.
"8500!" Another yelled back.
Sasuke watched warily as the bids climbed higher and higher, noting that his face still felt hot. This whole entire thing was humiliating as hell! Being butt-naked like the day he was born in front of the entire female population of Konoha was worse thing that ever happened to him. This was horrible.
'God,' he thought angrily as someone shouted a bid for 10,000 yen. 'How come you haven't burned down the building yet?'
"15,000 yen!"
"20,000!"
The crowds' cries started to die down at the bid, and Sasuke craned his neck to who had shouted it out. Sakura was standing up with her hand raised, a proud, superior looks on her face. The Uchiha groaned quietly, praying that someone would at least beat that bid.
Tsunade raised her brow and looked around the room. "20,000 yen for our lovely Captain up here! Going once…"
Silence.
"Going twice…"
Sakura grinned triumphantly and gave Sasuke a small wave. Sasuke shook his head and looked down. Damn it, he could've at least gone to someone half-way decent, instead of this obsessive bitch. He could only imagine the things she'd make him do.
'Like relentless, endless sex,' he thought, his stomach churning at the thought.
"A-Actually, I do have a higher bid," a squeaky voice piped up.
Sasuke saw Sakura's jaw lower and she turned around to face the girl who was about to outbid her. Tsunade stood on her tip-toes and pointed at one of the seats in the crowd.
"Well, what's your bid, dear?"
Sasuke felt a mixture of confusion and yet relief as the person he least expected stood up: Hyuuga Hinata. 'W-what?'
Hinata gulped and she said in a high-pitched, nervous voice. "800,000 yen!"
The room had gone completely silent. Every pair of eyes there was aimed at Hinata, who was shaking as she stood. Sakura was staring at her, slack-jawed, until she slowly sat down, defeated. No one, though, was more surprised than the item up for bid, whose head was tilted in confusion.
'Hinata? What the hell is she doing bidding that much money on me? I don't even know her! Maybe…she really liked my di-'
His thoughts were interrupted as Tsunade yelled "Sold to the little lady with a lot of cash!"
Sasuke waited until the crying, disappointed women left the large room to join Hinata. She was sitting in the same seat as she had been all evening, receiving dirty look after dirty look from the girls who were leaving. She looked up as he approached her and her cheeks pinked; he was still shirtless and even glistening a bit now.
Sasuke stopped in front of her seat, towering over her. "So…here I am." He gave a mock bow. "Your personal slave. For a week, at least."
Hinata laughed nervously. "Um…heh heh…yeah."
The man watched her twiddle with her thumbs for a moment before speaking. "Do you mind me asking why? I mean, damn, I don't even know anything about you besides your name." He mumbled, "And that your cousin is a prick and a half."
"I…I don't know," the girl responded lamely.
"Was it because of my peni-"
"NO!" Hinata said quickly. "Um, no…not because of that."
"Then…" Sasuke shrugged. "Why are you wasting 800,000 yen on me?"
Hinata took a deep, wavering breath and looked away from him. "Erm…Tenten made me. She said that I should do this so I'm not so lonely anymore."
"You're not answering my question. I'm asking you: why me?"
She finally looked up from the floor at the half-nude man standing above her. "Like I said…I'm not so sure…it just sort of…happened."
Sasuke lifted one of his brows and crossed his arms. "Whatever." He sighed and motioned for her to get up. "Well, let's get this damn week over with. But first I gotta get my shirt."