Quack Experimental Fanfic
Azumanga Saga
Disclaimer
Yes, I do own both Excel Saga and Azumanga Daioh! Of course I do! Bwahahahaha-What? What do you mean I don't? Koshi Rikdo? Kiyohiko Azuma? Who the hell?
I do, however, own this fanfic. Steal it and Chiyo-chichi will be unpleased.
---------
The screams of thousands of cheering fans filled the arena, as spotlights shone down on the boxing ring below. In one corner, Koshi Rikdo, struggling manga artist, did a few warm-up stretches. In the other, Chiyo-chichi floated serenely.
The bell rang, and Koshi dashed across the ring, yelling loudly, "I hereby give my permission to merge the worlds of Excel Saga and Azumanga Daioh!" slamming a fist into Chiyo-chichi's gut. As he pulled his fist back, his glove left indents in Chiyo-chichi's stomach, in the shape of the author's familiar stamped signature.
Chiyo-chichi glanced down at the mark, slowly turning a dark red as his gaze moved to Koshi. Floating slowly across the ring, he yelled in a deep voice, "How DARE you!"
Koshi gulped and turned pale.
A massive explosion followed a shrill, girlish scream shortly afterwards.
---------
It all started with the penguins…
Oh god, the penguins…
Oh. Wait. Wrong story.
---------
"Hail Ilpalazzo!!!" Excel screamed in her usual opening to the leader of the secret ideological organization known as ACROSS. Hyatt, as usual, followed with her customary "…zzo!"
Looking up from where he sat, Ilpalazzo exclaimed, "The world is corrupt! Not only that, but the future of the world, nay, ACROSS's world, is growing darker by the day!"
"Then, great and mighty Lord Ilpalazzo, in an effort to brighten the future of the world and its masses, might I suggest dropping packages of light bulbs from the air to countries worldwide?" Excel interrupted.
Ilpalazzo stared at Excel for a moment, before reaching up and pulling a thick rope. A trapdoor opened beneath Excel's feet, and she fell down into its depths.
Raising her hand, Hyatt asked, "Lord Ilpalazzo, in an effort to pull what will be ACROSS's world out of the darkness, might I suggest that we start teaching the goals of ACROSS to those who are still young?"
Ignoring Excel's cries of "Oh god, the penguins!!!", Ilpalazzo nodded. "Very good, Agent Hyatt. You do have a way of getting right to the point." Ilpalazzo pressed a button on his throne, causing a large screen to descend from the ceiling. On the screen was projected the image of a large school. "Plan #12345679! The two of you shall infiltrate this high school, and convert as many students as you can to the ways of ACROSS!" Ilpalazzo continued. "With your…talents, I'm sure you'll have no trouble blending in with the student population."
At a snap of Ilpalazzo's fingers, a Puchuu walked in, handing a folder to Hyatt. Excel finally finished climbing out of the hole, and peered over Hyatt's shoulder as she opened it. The folder contained only one paper, a dossier. The picture contained within said dossier showed a young woman, with a very angry look on her face, lashing out at an unseen foe with a rolled up magazine.
"Yukari…Tanizaki?" Hyatt read the name from the dossier.
"Indeed. She will be your homeroom teacher for the foreseeable future." Ilpalazzo proclaimed. "Travel to this school and carry out your mission, for the glory of ACROSS!"
Excel and Hyatt raised their arms in preparation to hail Ilpalazzo once more, but only Excel's was heard. Hyatt's caught in her throat, causing her to cough twice and fall over. Excel saluted Ilpalazzo, scooped Hyatt up, and swiftly exited the base.
Ilpalazzo leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. "I hope that you'll teach my agents as well as you taught me, Yukari-sensei…"