A/N: Those of you who have this story on alert, while I'm fairly certain this chapter will show up, I don't know if the prologue did-- that's new too. I will finish this story, even if it kills me.

Chapter One: A Package About An Undisclosed Mission

Watanuki Kimihiro was agitated. Well, actually, he was quite irritated, but no one could really tell because that was his normal state of being. "I don't get it," he demanded, "Why in the world would she send us on a wild goose-chase just to end up in the same place we started?"

Doumeki shrugged. It happened. Actually, it happened a lot, but it was such a normal occurrence that it didn't really bother him anymore. "Because she needed to place the package here in the first place?" He hedged calmly. He waited for the usual explosion, preparing himself by sticking his finger into his ear. It didn't come. Instead, Watanuki grew dead silent, shoulders shaking. His eyes took on a maniacal gleam.

"Yes. Of course," he hissed through gritted teeth.

Doumeki raised an eyebrow; Watanuki must have finally lost it. This behavior was very un-Watanuki like. He decided to go along with it, reaching out to take the package out of the bespectacled boy's shoe locker.

"But what I don't get is why we couldn't have gone to her shop!?"

"'Because that would have been too easy, Kimihiro, my dear.'"

"What?!" Watanuki whirled on the spot, grabbing Doumeki's lapels, "What was that you just said you big lug?!" He tried to shake the archer. Nothing happened; he shrieked in anger. "Presumptuous idiot! Who said you could call me Kimihiro? Huh?! And what's this about 'dear'?!"

"It's what the note said," Doumeki said flatly, pointing to the piece of paper that was attached to the package. It fluttered innocently to the ground.

Because that would have been too easy, Kimihiro, my dear.—
Yuuko

"Oh." Watanuki stepped away from Doumeki, calmly smoothing out his uniform, cheeks splotched with red from anger and possibly embarrassment. He knelt down, hesitantly picking up the offending note.

Haha!
You fell for it!
(And stop being so dramatic!)—
Yuuko

Watanuki growled, balling up the sheet of (possibly enchanted) paper, throwing it at Doumeki's head. The archer dodged, setting to work on opening the package.

"Give it here!" The boy demanded, "It was in my locker!"

"So?"

Doumeki held it away from Watanuki even as the slighter teen jumped him like a cat to get to it. The scuffle continued for a few more seconds before Doumeki simply gave up and handed Watanuki the parcel, who set into the work of tearing it open.

Doumeki leaned down to pick up the note, smoothing it out as Watanuki emptied out the contents of the package into his lap. Two sets of uniforms fell out, quite different from the ones they were already wearing. Watanuki looked at them in confusion. "Huh?"

"Uniforms."

"I can see that, you retard!" Watanuki shouted, pointing at the clothes, "But why is my question!"

Doumeki looked at the note. "It says here that we need them."

"Again with the why!" Watanuki gnashed his teeth in irritation; "Give me that!" He demanded, snatching the paper away; Doumeki raised an eyebrow, beginning to see a pattern.

Watanuki, Doumeki:
I have a job to do for you. An acquaintance of mine has a son who goes to Suiryo High, a prestigious all boys' academy up in the mountains, and she has requested my services there. Unfortunately, I cannot make it up there this fall. Fortunately, you two can! You two are now enrolled there, as exchange students. While you are there, keep an eye out for any out of the ordinary activities. I have taken care of the bureaucracy between your school and Suiryo.
Have fun!—
Yuuko

Watanuki's eye twitched. He reread the letter. It twitched again.

Doumeki stuffed his fingers in his ears, counting down to the inevitable explosion. This time, it came.

"WAUGH! GODDAMMIT YUUKO-SAN!"

Doumeki nodded to himself. Yup, they could probably hear Watanuki on Mars. Aliens probably thought all of human life was as spazzy as Watanuki Kimihiro.

必然

Doumeki drifted along behind Watanuki as the raven-haired teen stormed down the streets like a crazed maniac. He distantly thought that they were lucky that no one was on the sidewalk with them, or else they'd probably call the police. Every now and again, the archer would catch Watanuki mumbling something to himself, the same old refrain of 'That woman' and 'Who the hell does she think she is' and 'Planning things without other people's permission'. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but even he could see that Watanuki was more steamed than normal. It was probably just all the events that had led up to their summer vacation that had weighed on the boy—this was just the final straw.

Doumeki shoved his hands into his pockets lazily; it had been a rather eventful year. Spiders and spirits, the whole water-drawing debacle, and Watanuki falling out of a window and all. Oh, yeah, and the boy had finally been turned down by Kunogi. That was huge, even though the boy hadn't made a big deal out of it. But Doumeki had noticed the complete and utter lack of major fawning. Lunch was easier now; he didn't get quite so annoyed, and Kunogi had stopped flashing him those apologetic looks every time Watanuki denied his existence. So maybe it was a good thing…?

"Oi! Stop standing there, you imbecile!" Watanuki commanded, standing on the threshold of the store.

Doumeki shrugged, walking up and past Watanuki, starting down the pathway that led to the entrance to the shop. They didn't even need to go in—Yuuko was there waiting for them on the porch, lounging around in one of the outdoor chaises, sporting a large glass of what looked like lemonade to ward off the last of the summer heat. Both boys had a sneaking suspicion that it was spiked with something. "Yo," the woman said lazily, saluting with a grin. "Did you get the package? I'm so proud you figured out all the clues! You're getting so good at it!"

Watanuki strode up to the porch waving around the letter that had gone with the package, which was now safely stored in Doumeki's bag; "You!"

"Me!" Yuuko cheered, thoroughly pissing Watanuki off even more with her blatant display of enjoying his anger.

"This is worse than that time I had to go waste train fare to go to a coin locker to go get a stupid pair of fake glasses!"

"Red fake glasses, and those were important," Yuuko pouted.

"No, they weren't! You said so yourself!" Watanuki paused, waving his hands in the air to clear the subject—even after all that time, he still didn't quite understand that particular Yuuko-rant. "Why are you sending us to a school in the middle of nowhere!?"

"Why, didn't you read the letter, Watanuki?"

Doumeki, at this point, stopped paying attention to Watanuki and the witch, choosing to instead start a conversation with the Mokona, who had hopped over to his shoulder.

必然

He was amazed at how thorough Yuuko was. They didn't even need to pack. Their essential things, like toothbrushes, toiletries, and underwear had already been packed (he assumed it had been done magically—he couldn't imagine Yuuko sneaking around to do something as mundane as packing… though, he thought with a shudder, he could easily picture her snooping about his room. He did not want to think about Yuuko going through his underwear drawer!), and were happily placed next to the wall next to the entranceway.

But really, it wasn't necessary to send them to a different school for an indefinite period of time! What would Himawari-chan do? Or Kohane? Yuuko was sending them away the next morning—there wasn't even any time to tell them what was going on! He didn't have the luxury of a cell phone, on account that he had no real source of income. (Income with his job? Ha, ha—that was funny.) He doubted Yuuko would tell them either.

He stabbed the fish angrily.

Doumeki peered over his shoulder in interest; "It's dead already."

Watanuki grit his teeth, gripping the filet knife tightly, trying hard not to stab anything or anyone. "I swear to you, if you don't get out of my space I will kill you," he growled through clenched teeth.

"If you scowl too much you'll get wrinkles," the archer countered.

With a clatter, Watanuki dropped his knife and spun around, howling in anger; "GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN, OUT—OUT!"

Mokona tittered in the background. Doumeki swore he saw a vein pop.

必然

"Itadakimasu." The thanks circled around the table as Watanuki served. It was one of the lucky nights where it was said before everyone dug in, not between mouthfuls. But everyone was wary now; the boy was in super-pissy mode. Even Yuuko tread a little more lightly. But not much.

Scratch that, not at all.

"Aw, you're just sulking because you won't get to see Himawari-chan," Yuuko cooed.

"But he forgets that she turned him down!" Mokona cheered.

Doumeki continued eating, though he slowly edged away from his seat next to Watanuki as the boy's hands were shaking in suppressed anger. There was an odd edge to his smile, pulled across clamped teeth.

"Maybe she'll forget you while you're gone!"

"Maybe you'll forget her while you're gone!"

"Maybe she'll get a boyfriend while you're gone!"

"Maybe you'll get a boyfriend while you're gone!"

Now that was a truly interesting idea, but all further thoughts were cut off from Doumeki's mind as Watanuki began to yank away everyone's plates in his screaming fury. Somehow, the exorcist thought that was the sligher teen's ultimate punishment.

必然

Being stuck on a bullet train with a fuming Watanuki was not Doumeki's idea of a fun Monday morning. In fact, it was slightly uncomfortable. The air was sticky with Watanuki's anger, something that Doumeki still couldn't quite understand the depths of—sure it was a rather inconvenient job, but it was better to just deal with it and get back to normal as quickly as possible. He was surprised how well his parents had taken his hurried phone call; it seemed that Yuuko had already fed them with a story about a surprise archery team outing that involved going to a camp deep in the mountains for about a week. They hadn't even been worried about him missing school. Odd, but again, Doumeki didn't think it wise to dwell on it. He crossed his legs absently, turning the page of the book in his lap.

There came a strangled noise across from him. Doumeki blinked, looking up at Watanuki—he'd almost managed to forget the boy was there in the last thirty minutes. Ever since he'd pulled out his book and made it quite clear that he wasn't paying any attention to the haunted teen, Watanuki had been uncharacteristically silent. Wow. Praises be. "Yeah?"

"Could you put that away?" Watanuki asked in a small voice, eyeing Doumeki oddly.

"Why?"

"Because I asked!" Watanuki demanded, lurching in his seat. He paused suddenly, then sank back into his seat, looking like he rather regretted moving so suddenly. Doumeki studied the boy at length, frowning. His face was pale—well, paler than normal, slightly unhealthy looking. "Stop staring, you rude person!" The bespectacled boy hissed.

Doumeki shrugged, then returned to his book. With a small sigh, Watanuki leaned forward, grabbing the archer's wrist; "Put the book away," he half-pleaded. "It's making me sick."

"What is?"

Watanuki pointed out the window. "It started lurking as soon as you stopped paying attention," he explained; "I tried to ignore it, but I have to look out the window or else I get motion-sick."

Doumeki looked out the window. As soon as he did, a large billowing black cloud retreated from the window, leaving the view unobscured. How odd, he hadn't even noticed—he thought it was train exhaust; he should've noticed it had eyes. "Why didn't it just go away on its own like the others?"

Watanuki shrugged absently, color slowly returning to his face. "I guess since the train is moving so quickly that it's hard for your powers to work? Wow… You know…That sounds like BS."

Doumeki had to agree. But he didn't pull his book out again. He was still amazed at the amount of civility Watanuki had shown to him (and had been as of late). It was beginning to make him suspicious and… well, it was just weird. But then again, wasn't everything concerning the other teen?

必然

The school itself looked unassuming enough, surrounded by trees and mountainside scenery, it seemed to be normal. The building was run-of-the-mill, concrete bricks, large windows, and several stories; the food was… well, in Watanuki's opinion it was crap, but he assumed it was decent since Doumeki didn't complain about it… The dormitories were bland enough (Watanuki absolutely loathed sharing a room with the archer), but the people were nice. In fact, Watanuki had managed to make a friend in the first five minutes of class. Yup, Suiryo High seemed normal enough.

Watanuki should have known better than to expect normal from any sort of mission Yuuko sent him on.