Chapter 15: On the Road Again

hi hi hi! Here is the next chapter! Lets all see a Mexican wave of celebration! Woooo! Ok. I'm over it now. This one should be really quite the fun one to write – with more point than the last one. The last one made me cry it was so bad. I'm actually thinking of deleting it and pretending it never existed... Ah well. Hope you like it! X

...o0o...

It was a dark and rainy night. The beaten dirt roads were empty – only the echo of the daily bustle haunted the abandoned streets as the townsfolk sheltered in their houses. Two shadows flicked down the streets unnoticed, splashing slightly in the puddles of water pooled by the roadside. They slunk down a dark alley and disappeared from view of any windows. Slipping through a side door of a shop, they stole quietly through. Thank heavens these people are so foolish as to trust one another enough to keep their doors unlocked, Zuko thought to himself as he whipped fruit, rice and other edible goods into the bag Katara held. Katara was not looking at Zuko as he took the items from the shelves and threw them unceremoniously into the bag she held – she still felt that they shouldn't be stealing. The need, however, was there – they had no money and no food. She turned briefly to see if Zuko felt the same way about this, but quickly turned back again as she remembered that their emotions and identities were shielded by the twin masks. Sighing, she closed her eyes and waited for Zuko to finish.

"Alright, I think that should do it." Katara started as Zuko broke the silence that had closed in around them. "I think we should get going before we're caught." Katara nodded and followed him out back the way they had come. As Zuko turned to head back to their campsite, Katara stopped him.

"Wait – I think we should get at least one more set of clothes each. Ours are ruined almost beyond repair."

"You can't be serious. We'd be caught!"

"Come on, We need more clothes, you know it as well as I do."

Zuko winced, knowing it was true. Closing his eyes and rubbing his temples, the boy conceded.

"Fine, fine. Only one new set each though. We can't take too much from these people – a town this size could hardly cope with too many losses in one go like this." Katara ogled at him. The longer she spent with him, the more she came to realise how human this boy was. He had certainly grown from the Avatar-crazed boy she had first encountered in the South Pole.

"Move it waterbender!" Zuko hissed. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts, she barely noticed that he had begun to slink away into the night. Running after him she hissed,

"Since when do you call me waterbender?"

"Since forever. You just haven't heard me say it. Now come on!"

The sun began to peek over the hills, spreading it's rays over an already awake Zuko. He stretched and meditated briefly before starting to get some breakfast together quickly. He knew they would have to move pretty quickly to avoid being caught by the townsfolk. They would notice that they had been broken into, and they would be quick to blame nearby outsiders before they would even consider one of their own responsible. It would be a jail first, beat up second, torture third, ask questions much, much, much later situation.

Katara wrinkled her nose in her sleep, able to smell Zuko's cooking. It wasn't a bad smell... it was just unusual that she wasn't the one doing the cooking. Sitting up and rubbing her eyes, she looked at him questioningly.

"We have to get going, fast. We don't want anyone catching up with us, trust me." Passing her a plate of food, he added, "Eat quickly. We don't have time for any washing or anything like that – we need to get moving as soon as possible." With that, he began shoveling his food down with the seasoned experience of a man who had a childhood devoid of a mother to tell him to slow down before he gave himself indigestion.

"Zuko, slow down before you give yourself indigestion." Zuko just rolled his eyes and kept eating. It was a long time since he had heard those words last.

"I'm perfectly capable of eating quickly and avoiding indigestion."

Katara shook her head. Sometimes his similarity to Sokka amazed her. Nonetheless, they both ate as quickly as they could, barely stopping to chew their food. The sun was just over the hills when they finally got moving.

It was midday and the sun was blazing. Katara struggled to keep up with Zuko, unused to traveling without a flying bison. "Catch up," Zuko called after her.

"Zuko, I'm hot, I'm tired and I'm hungry. Can't we take a break?"

"Not if you want to stay out of a slimy prison cell."

"But Zuko, I can't - "

"Just think about something else. Try to take your mind off it."

Katara ran a few steps so she was in line with him again. She looked up at him sheepishly.

"I know what would help – but you have to promise not to laugh." Zuko's bemused glance was the only response she had to work with.

"Have you ever played a traveling game?"

"A traveling game?"

"Yeah. You know... like... there's the animal game. You go through the alphabet and say three animals that start with each letter." Seeing his irked expression, Katara hastily continued. "There's also 'have you ever'. You ask each other questions like... have you ever tripped over a mollusk... or have you ever cried over a song... you know, that kind of thing. You can find out all sorts of interesting things. Most embarrassing moments, worst fears, favorite things, all sorts! You wanna play?" She gave Zuko her very best wide-eyed 'don't say no to me, I'm too cute' puppy face.

"Fine. Have you ever tripped over a mollusk?"

Katara just stared at him. "You do know that was only an example. You don't need to – "

"Answer the question Katara."

"No."

"There, now was that so hard? Your turn."

"Ok..." Katara's face contorted in concentration as she tried to think of a good question. "Have you ever gone penguin sledding?"

"Penguin sledding? No. Have you ever eaten a papaya?"

"Yes. I discovered that I hate Papaya."

"Me too." Zuko grinned.

"Ok, ok, my turn. Um... have you ever... screamed like a girl?" The look in her eye was positively evil.

"Once. Azula set my pants on fire when I was six. Never happened again thank you very much." Zuko answered with an air of feigned dignity, trying to ignore Katara's giggling. "Have you ever killed anyone?" Katara's giggling stopped.

"No. Have you?"

"No."

"Really?" Katara asked skeptically.

"Yes, really. Is it your turn or mine now?"

"Yours."

"Fine. Have you ever... um... this is stupid. I can't think of anything. Can't you go now? You just copied my last question anyway." They both walked along in silence for a moment. The sky was coming over cloudy, probably bringing rain for that afternoon. Zuko had to admit, it was a very hot day. 'There'll probably be a storm this afternoon,' He thought to himself as they walked. Katara's voice suddenly cut through his reverie.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

Zuko looked slightly miffed, but answered anyway. "No. When I was back in the Fire Nation, Mai had a thing for me... but never acted on it. I never felt anything for her... so, no. Hey, can we just ask straight out questions instead of this 'have you ever' thing?"

"I guess so." Katara answered.

"Good. Have you ever wanted to leave the avatar and return home?"

"...Hang on. Why did you want to know if you could ask any question, then ask me a 'have you ever'?"

Zuko smirked. "Just wanted to know if I could. You know... in case I feel like it later. Anyway, answer the question."

Katara scuffed her toe on the ground and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Didn't catch that. You're going to have to speak up," He smirked.

"I have. I have thought about doing that many times – but straight afterwards I feel so guilty. He needs me. I'm his teacher, his friend, and while I hate to admit it, I'm the closest thing he has to a mother. I have a responsibility to him now. To the whole group. I couldn't just pack up and leave them – not even if I wanted to."

To Katara's surprise, there was no smirk or back handed comment from Zuko. Instead, he remained silent and pensive, mulling over her words.

"Have you ever wanted to join us?"

"No." His reply was so immediate it startled her.

"Why not?"

"It's not your turn to ask a question anymore Katara."

"What? I'm just extending my question, and that's allowed - "

"Nope. Separate question, separate turn. My go. What is your worst fear?"

Katara stopped walking and looked at the sky, hugging herself.

"My worst fear..." She trailed off, closing her eyes. "My worst fear is that I won't be able to protect the ones I love. That no matter how hard I fight, or how good I get at waterbending, that I won't be able to help them. I think that's it."

"You think that's it, or that is it?"

"Well, there is another one... That I will end up alone. That at the end of all this, even if we manage to win the war and regain peace and safety for everyone... that I will have no one to enjoy it with. That I'll grow old alone, die alone..." Her last words were barely audible, but Zuko managed to catch them. He had to admit, it was surprising. He had always thought of her as a strong willed girl who wouldn't be affected by such thoughts. She was pretty too... surely she had had a boyfriend? These fears, however, suggested otherwise. Before he could get any further into his reverie, Katara spoke up.

"How 'bout you? What is your worst fear?"

Again, without hesitation he answered her.

"That I will never get to return home, restore my honour and reclaim my place as heir to the throne."

Katara just stared at him.

"Ok, pausing the game for a second. Why were you banished anyway? What did you do? You're always talking about restoring your honour but I never understood why."

"It's... complicated. And long..."

"Good thing this is a long road and we have the rest of the night ahead of us then."

Zuko looked away. He had never really spoken about his banishment to anyone before. He had referred to it, alluded to it, had it spoken about in front of him – yet never had he ever told anyone about it before. He wasn't sure where to start, or how to find the right words. He wasn't even completely sure that he wanted to talk about it. There was something about this girl though, something he couldn't place, that made him tell her. He told her about the war meeting and his speaking up, and how it led to his banishment. She was the perfect audience, delivering just the right balance of silence, sympathy and anger. Soon he found himself wanting to explain more fully about his life before banishment, so that she would understand where he was coming from. He told her about how his mother left, his constant torment by Azula and his father's disappointment in him. Everything that he had been bottling up for years seemed to just come bubbling to the surface and overflowed in the time he was speaking. By the time he had finished it was well after dusk, and they were seated side by side under a tree.

"I may be over the line, but I don't think I would want to go back to a place like that. If my dad didn't care about me and scarred me like that, and I had a sister that wanted to kill me, I'd run away. The first chance I got. What makes you want to go back Zuko? What is it that draws you back there?"

He knew his answer should be something like, 'family' or 'bonds' or 'duty to his people'. However, nothing came to mind. He couldn't think of a single good reason to return home.

Maybe, just maybe, Zuko thought to himself, Uncle was right. Maybe it's not what I really want anymore. In his silence, Katara had fallen asleep, propped against the tree beside him. Zuko leaned his head back against the tree and gazed at the stars. Now he had confused himself. He had finally come to the realisation that he really did not want to go back home. If that was the case, however, he had lost his purpose. He now had no idea what he was going to do, he had no goal, no aims, no direction. He stayed up for hours thinking, before finally drifting off to sleep with one last thought - What is it that I want?

...o0o...

Hey there people! I'm really sorry for taking so long! I have just started university and am kinda drowning in work at the moment. Not quite sure how to manage it all. I kept finding that my mind was straying though. Plot bunnies kept visiting me whenever I least expected it, and demanded immediate attention. No matter how hard I tried to beat them away, I couldn't. Hence, here I am once more, writing again.

I really hoped you liked it. I really did enjoy writing this one. I'm out of practice though, so if any of it is clunky or spelled incorrectly or anything, just give me a yell and I'll fix it.

Ciao

xx