A/N: Remember me? Sorry for the wait! And thanks to all who took the time to read and review this story.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Suite Life of Zack and Cody.
This Is the Way the World Ends
...not with a bang but a whimper...
"You."
When Cody spoke, his voice was soft, disbelieving. A cold dread had filled him, mixing venomously with the anger that had remained dormant within him. He'd gone to the bistro alone to meet a friend, but that engagement had long since left his mind. All that mattered was that Joshua Gregory Allan was here.
All that mattered was that the guy who'd murdered his brother was standing right in front of him. A free man.
No.
Cody began to shake his head, swallowing rapidly to counteract the bile that rose in his throat. He'd become significantly bolder and more aggressive since Zack's death, and as such he reached out and grabbed Allan's forearm. "Hey!"
Twenty-years-old and studying business at the University of Chicago (partly because it was a very prestigious school, and partly because he would have done anything at eighteen to escape Boston), Cody dropped all his sanity the moment he locked eyes with the one he hated above anything else.
"What's your problem?" Allan demanded, giving him a weird look and yanking his arm out of Cody's grasp. He turned back to talk with those with him.
"Why the hell aren't you in prison?" Cody nearly shouted. He was attracting the attention of people around him, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything, because justice—for the second time in his life—had failed him miserably.
"What're you-," Allan stopped, suddenly, squinting. Suddenly, as though someone had lit a spark, his face lit up with recognition. "Holy…" he swore, rubbing at his eyes and sighing. He turned, murmuring something to his companions.
Cody watched him, seething and nearly out of his mind with emotion. Allan turned back to Cody, and, saying nothing, nodded jerkily at the door. Cody's lip curled in hate, but he followed the man out of the restaurant.
It was the very beginning of summer and the June heat had just begun to sink in. At this point in his life, Cody was vastly unhappy with his career field of choice; desperate the escape the monotony of the cut-throat world of supply and demand.
"Okay, look-," Allan was saying. Cody willed himself to stay calm, and somehow he managed. "Jesus…" Allan rubbed his eyes, laughing humorlessly and sinking down onto a bench. Cody refused to do the same, standing stiffly, angrily.
"Why the hell-," Cody said, voice dangerously low and shaking in fury. "Why the hell aren't you in prison?" Now his voice was rising, and he could no longer seem to control the anger he'd kept pent up for years. "You KILLED HIM!" he shouted. "When he was SIXTEEN—and now you're free to just grab lunch? I demand-,"
"Look, man!" Allan said prudently. "I understand, okay? But I think-,"
"HA!" Cody shouted, tears in his eyes, fists clenched. "You understand, huh? Well, that's just peachy. I feel all better now. Joy to the world-,"
"-I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry about what happened."
A car honked. The wind blew. Cody couldn't bring himself to say anything.
Allan continued. "It was the first time I'd ever had anything to drink, you know? And when I was driving I wasn't, like, completely wasted…I was over the legal limit, yeah, but not by too much. I wasn't paying close enough attention—I was fiddling with the radio, actually—and the car your, um, your brother was in was going fifteen over. It wasn't completely my fault-,"
Cody began to shake. "Don't even TRY to defend yourself!"
Allan spread his arms wide again, and spoke calmly. "I'm not justifying what I did," he said evenly. "I'm just letting you know. It wasn't all my fault."
Cody shook his head, nearly blinded by his unshed tears as he sank down on the bench. Allan cringed a little, looking as though he'd rather be anywhere but there. "After he died…" Cody swallowed thickly. "I was afraid to look in the mirror. I-," he paused to compose himself, taking a shaky breath. "My parents wouldn't look at me because whenever they would they'd just see hi-him."
"I realize that-,"
"-I never cried. I never…" Cody closed his eyes, wiping at him quickly. "I mean, I wanted to…I felt bad 'cuz I knew I should. But I felt like if I did…If I cried, or whatever…then he'd really be gone."
"Yeah," said Allan, staring at the ground and kicking at a rock. "Look, I-,"
"-But that was ridiculous, because I knew that he was gone and there was nothing I was-I was going to be able to do about it. But still, you know? It was so messed up…and then when I went back to school…"
"I served time to atone for my actions-,"
"-Everyone just felt bad for me." Cody wasn't listening to Allan anymore. "And I felt bad for me, too. It was one big pity-party, I guess." He laughed humorlessly, and it came out sounding forced and twisted.
Allan threw his hands up. "Okay," he said climactically. "I'm sorry I drove the car that ruined your life, man. It wasn't my intent."
Cody blinked.
A little kid was laughing somewhere. A car honked.
Allan sighed. "Look," he said placidly. "I'm here on a date…It's kind of a big date, too." He shrugged and looked pleadingly at Cody. "I'm going to ask this girl to marry me."
All the anger suddenly left Cody and he felt rather stupid, dropping his arms to his sides and scratching the back of his head. "Congratulations," he said.
And then he walked away.
He was halfway to his car when Allan called out to him.
"I really am sorry!" he shouted.
Cody nodded but didn't turn around. "Yeah," he said. "So am I."
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
-T.S. Eliot, "The Hollow Men"
The End