Hello all! Whether you are a new reader or already a fan of "Permanent Pigtails" I welcome you to the newly rewritten first chapter! Yes, this story has been up for many years, that is because 1. I worked on two stories at the same time (never doing that again) and 2. I went on a little hiatus from fanfiction for about 3 years. Once I had come back and decided to finish this story I reread the whole thing and determined: MY TENTH GRADE MIND WAS SO RANDOM AND HORRIBLE WITH THE FIRST FEW CHAPTERS! And thus, I started a rewrite. I will try and do this before I continue the actual story.

Sidenote: it is good to reread if you are a fan just because I have added a few new/different things to the story!

I do not claim any Naruto characters or the world of Naruto. Just the storyline. :)

Updated: July 17, 2012

Detached

The morning air had a crisp smell to it and the atmosphere was hazy with a thick fog. It had been raining the past few days and the ground, being damp as it was, would swallow even the tiniest of feet if the owner was not careful.

However, this was not a problem for the infamous Uzumaki Naruto. Using his chakra in the soles of his feet granted them freedom from the hungry ground.

As the blonde grew older he had developed an arrogance that could be comparable to that of Uchiha Sasuke. In fact, the male was his source for learning bad attitudes. Being best friends with the Uchiha, you couldn't help but become arrogant. It was the only way Naruto could keep up with him through the many years of constant back and forth bickering and fighting.

"I have something you may consider exciting…" Tsunade's serious tone played in his head as he recollected this morning's events. "But do not take it lightly." The Hokage gave Naruto the opportunity for something of an odd and serious mission.

"A rouge ninja…? You don't know where he came from?" Naruto's excitement built up as he fantasized fighting the unknown.

"That is what worries me. Of course, being a ninja there is stealth and an unknown identity brought to the table…but for something so serious as to murder nine of our citizens…while Konoha is at peace with every village?" The Hokage did not attempt to hide her fears of what could be manifesting outside their village.

Naruto waved his hands about. "Don't worry, grandma. I can handle this, no problem."

Tsunade smiled softly. "Of course… I think you may need some help though…and since I have been a little stern on Uchiha, I was thinking I could let this be his first mission as a Konoha ninja once again."

A small smile tugged at Naruto's lips. To think of the many years since he and Sasuke had worked together on a mission together and on the same side… The bittersweet thought only lingered though. "No. I believe I can do this mission on my own. I don't need someone like Sasuke to help me." There was the idiotic arrogance, but Naruto didn't care. He still felt a little tense around the Uchiha, they barely even spoke since Sasuke's coming back home.

"I can understand you not wanting him coming with you right now… Then perhaps someone else should travel with you…maybe-"

"No, Hokage! I want to do this on my own! As in: By. My. Self." He made sure to have sharp pauses after each word. "I have proven myself as a ninja in many circumstances and I need to feel that I can be trusted with something by myself for once."

Tsunade flinched at the title Naruto barely used for her, but tried to hide the shock by giving him her most serious of looks. Once the young man showed no signs of budging her large breasts heaved with her sigh as she granted Naruto permission and filled out some paperwork as he left the room in victory.

Poor Tsunade, the blonde thought absently while patrolling the area, having all that paperwork piled up on her desk… When I become Hokage I will hire someone specifically for paperwork. His mind wandered towards a certain raven haired male. Oh, how angry he would be… An evil chuckle rang through the youth's head. For a moment he couldn't tell if it was he himself, or the large demon living within. It was scary when he couldn't tell between them anymore.

A sudden pain throbbed just as a warm and wet sensation engulfed his right ear. "Ah!" He reached up and covered his bloodied ear as he cursed himself for letting the enemy catch him off guard. The kunai knife that had made contact was already being swallowed by the ground behind him.

The rouge ninja made himself present to the eyes and charged Naruto. "Come here boy," the snake-like voice was almost as terrifying as his old enemy, Orochimaru, and sent a shiver down the blonde's spine. The mysterious fiend flung his arms around in what seemed to be sporadic confusion, but obviously a very successful style of fighting for Naruto could not tell how to dodge properly as he was cut one, two, three times across his midsection. "We need you…"

"We? Who the hell are you?" Naruto did not like this creepy outburst. A psychotic murderer he was assigned to track down 'needed him'… What the hell is going on? He held a hand over his chest where the deepest blow was made and pulled his own kunai knife out once given a breather from the fury of attacks. The ninja never gave a response to Naruto's question. He only stood there, facing Naruto's direction in such a casual way as if meeting for the first time in a normal setting. The hair on the back of Naruto's neck rose and pin pricks ran all down his back. This guy was so bizarre…and freaking the fuck out of Naruto! He stood a good two feet taller than the young ninja and wore nothing but plain, black clothing from head to toe with a small bulging pack strapped to his back. His face was completely covered by a mask and gave no sign of mouth or eye holes.

I am not afraid. I am not afraid. I. Am. Not. Afraid!

"Hey! You must not be able to hear through that tasteless mask of yours! I asked: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" Naruto cupped his hands around his mouth, purposely taunting the enemy.

"You need not worry about it much…this will not take long." A funny looking lantern was pulled from the pack. An ominous hum vibrated from the object as it seemed to be…smoking? Little puffs of purple and blue came out of the object and left a small haze around the two ninjas.

Oh crap! He's planning on escaping! I gotta-

The kunai slipped from Naruto's hands.

Wh-what…

His feet submerged into the thick, chilly marsh.

I can't…move… He's-

Naruto was down on his knees, but able to keep his torso upright.

-gonna kill me…isn't he?

The ninja's face was a mystery, completely covered still as he came to stand before Naruto, yet somehow Naruto knew the most malicious of smiles and gleaming eyes were staring back at him behind that mask.

"You will not feel a thing. I promise."

And Naruto closed his eyes…

"Will he be ok, doctor?"

"Well… he should… but this will be a difficult thing for him to face once he wakes up…"

"That ninja…he could have killed this boy easily… why would he do this to him instead? It is so inhumane and…odd."

"There are some incredibly sick people in the world, my dear… but I know exactly what I would do once I woke up…"

"Get revenge, right."

"No, I would do myself a kindness and end everything."

"Doctor?"

"Come now! Can anyone around this place take a joke?"

Naruto felt his mind slowly gain consciousness as the voices played in his head. The words were sluggish and garbled as he tried to come to.

I don't feel so good…

His body ached like it never had before. He tried recalling what happened, but came close to retching and chose to let his mind just float freely from extreme concentration. Very slowly he let his eyes open and blink a couple times. Everything was obscure in his blurred vision, but he knew instantly that it was a hospital room. Nothing was as welcoming and exciting as a vibrant white room!

As he blinked a couple more times the couple of chattering figures around him came to view.

"Doctor, he's awake," spoke the female in nurse attire. She started scribbling something down on her clipboard as she departed from the room.

The doctor turned his attention on Naruto and smiled a little half-heartedly. He looked to be young for a doctor, maybe in his early twenties. Not only did he have brains for his job, but a face girls would drool over too. His nicely combed brown hair barely reached his eyebrows that arched over stunning deep blue eyes. This guy had no glasses though… What the hell? Hello Mr. Perfect. Have you met Uchiha Sasuke or Hyuga Neji? The world was full of these guys… What's next? He has crazy eye tricks too? Please, I'm tired of that cliché with just two of them…

"Ah, so he is… Welcome back, Naruto. I'm your doctor… Dr. Sato."

The tone was not to Naruto's liking. Something within it shook like a leaf. Great, something is wrong with me…

"You will not feel a thing. I promise." Everything rushed back to him like a long-lost memory forgotten and left the pit of his stomach filling sour. That maniac did something to Naruto, but what? His entire body felt beaten; it was hard to tell where the source of the hurt came from. Anything could have happened.

This was when Naruto took in the IV attached to him as well as many bandages to his arms from previous needle injections. A sharp pain shot up his spine if he even thought about moving his legs around. Dear god, what the hell happened? This was obviously more than being banged up a little.

Red hot fire burned between his legs and ripped up his midsection, stifling a tearful scream from Naruto's lungs. The boy panted as he pressed back against the bed and let out a more satisfying scream towards the pain.

That was it. He was dying a very cruel and hateful death. There was no other way to describe it. The fucking No Face Man had made it possible to do the most inhumane death ever! Fatality through the man jewels! It was so much to take Naruto couldn't even feel his poor boys down there.

"What's wrong with me?" he managed to rasp out between pants.

The long list of things he wanted to do in life ran across his mind: he could see the future not-dead-Naruto dressed in Hokage robes and successfully leading a village of people who believed in him, he had a mansion of a home and there was a ramen shop right next to his bedroom fully stocked twenty-four-seven with a staff working around the clock to make sure they never missed a meal opportunity, he had an extremely satisfying sex life with Sakura as his wife – good grief, Naruto was still a virgin! He knew nothing of how amazing sex really was! What kind of life was this, – there were all of his friends that he should have been able to go on more missions with that he felt were very close to his heart…and the last thing that came to mind-

I never cleared up everything with Sasuke…

Naruto's eyes were watering, but not from the supposed future life cycle. The pain was becoming too much for him to handle. Just when he thought it was going to break everything in his body a very pleasing and cool sensation pooled through his veins. Thank god for IVs and anesthesia… He was thankful he could breathe in some other form besides borderline hyperventilating.

Dr. Sato made sure the IV did its job on Naruto before pulling up a chair to the bedside. "I can assure you, you are not dying. I know it may feel as though you are. It is only because of the rough situation you were put through."

The trademark Naruto grin shinned through the darkness covering his face as he sat up in excitement. "GAH!" He immediately flew back against the bed and ran his hands down his body to gingerly hold his screaming genitals.

Only…he…came across…no…genitals…

The world froze and felt so icy. The ceiling appeared to be spinning slowly down to crush him.

This couldn't be right… his junk must be hiding somehow. His fingers roamed from his belly, down and over barren and unfamiliar territory until he reached his buttocks.

"Doc…where…where are they?" he rubbed the sensitive area curiously until realizing this was the home to the death simulation he went through prior and stopped altogether. Naruto's bright blues met with the tentative deep blues. "WHERE ARE MY MAN PARTS?" He could feel tears jerking at the rim of his eyes from fright.

Dr. Sato cleared his throat. "You see, Naruto, you've kind of been… detached, so to speak, from your… ah, 'man parts' as you put it…"

"D-d-d-….detached…?"

"Yes."

"From…wh-what made me a man…?"

"Correct."

"I-….I-…" Naruto's voice was reaching screeching octaves, "I'm a girl?"

The doctor said nothing, nor did he seem capable of giving a nod or head shake as he appeared to be in mystified concentration.

"Well? AM I?" Naruto was on the brink of crying in front of this guy who was supposed to be able to tell Naruto what was going on. AREN'T YOU THE FUCKING DOCTOR HERE, he wanted to shriek to the tops of his lungs but kept choking on what felt like sobs coming from his throat.

The man gave Naruto a pitiful look.

That's what I need right now: PITY for fuck's sake. Naruto's mind was one sailor's mouth just waiting to be opened for the world to hear. Only his pitiful sobs were holding him back. Damn it…I am a sad sight…

"Sorry, Naruto. I'm having a hard time trying to explain this…"

Naruto half snorted, half sobbed. "You're having a hard time…well by all means, go relax and get back to me when you feel better."

"Ahh…" the doctor fumbled with his hair. "Naruto, you're not exactly either of the two. You no longer have your male organs, nor can you grow female organs. I would say you are closer to a girl now if anything and-"

"I would say you are closer to a girl now if anything."

You. Girl. Now. Those three words repeated themselves like a caveman cruelly poking fun at Naruto as he felt his last fiber for life snap.

"Do you want to stay this way?"

"…what?"

"Do you want to stay as you are now?"

The ray of hope somehow didn't enter Naruto's state of mind. The idea of finding Naruto's massacred goodies in marshland and reattaching them was like finding a needle in a hay stack, but the needle was never in the haystack to begin with so you're just a fool rummaging for days in a haystack while all the village people snicker as they walk by.

"Are you telling me I can become a guy again?"

Dr. Sato shook his head. "No, unfortunately you will never be considered a true part of the male population again…as for the feminine side of it though…we can alter your body to take the form of a woman as you grow."

I would rather die. Why are you even giving this question?

"You will not be able to reproduce like a woman, but we can make it easier down there, you know how you kids are, if you meet a boy, and you decide it feels right with him, you can sneak off to that red light district to enjoy-"

"WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! PLEASE STOP TALKING!" Naruto's hands were covering his eyes in frustration and embarrassment to what the doc was suggesting. "Who in their right mind would want to follow your advice?" Naruto sat up a tad and gave Dr. Sato a calculating look. Is he qualified for this job? he wondered in all seriousness."You do hear yourself when you speak, right? Do you know what you sound like?"

"I'm afraid I'm not following? Do I sound funny to you?"

"Geez…" The exhausted blonde fell back on his pillow. "And people thought I was the village idiot…"

"There you go. Jokes make everyone feel better, Naruto."

"And there you go again…" Naruto sat up once more. "What makes you think I would want to become more like a woman than a man? Were you not standing there five minutes ago?" He could tell this man wanted to be all fun and games to help Naruto's situation, but he was only making matters worse. "I just want to be a normal guy again…"

"…Sorry Mr. Uzumaki…" and it was genuine.

"Yeah…me too…" Naruto relaxed on his back as the doctor handed over a clipboard. "I've made a note that you are your very own guardian for these situations, and I know it's tedious, but these are a few things you need to sign for the hospital. Medications, surgeries, all the good, fun stuff."

Naruto half looked through the items on the papers before signing at the bottom of each page. Medication…medication…previous surgery…medication…

"Thank you, Naruto. I will be poking my head in and out every here and there, so watch for me." Dr. Sato gave a goofy grin before leaving Naruto all by his lonesome.

He stared up at the ceiling in defeat as he waited for the sleep to take over… There was nothing to look forward to. His life was forever screwed up thanks to one out of hand mission. And the worst thing about it was Naruto had a choice in the matter. When Tsunade had put Sasuke on the mission with him, he declined… This whole ordeal may have never happened if Naruto wasn't so hardheaded.

"Why…why…?" He covered his eyes as the flood came.

End of chapter one! Hope the rewrite is better! It's less goofy and more serious, as it should have been in the first place.

Sorry to those of you who read this chapter first and head to the second chapter before it is rewritten... I hope your eyes don't bleed! haha

Forever the BakaNekoSan