It was a wonderful day for the village of Konaha. So, naturally, it was a horrible day for Uchiha Sasuke. He was sitting on his couch, brooding at the lack of stormy weather, or screams of pain. You know, things normal people would usually try to avoid. While Sasuke sat on his emo-couch thinking emo-thoughts, chewing quietly on his emo-snacks (Now low in fat! Try our two new flavors: Self-pity Salt, and Wrist-slashing Watermellon!), there was a knock on his door. Sasuke turned his head to the door. After there was another knock, he got up and grabbed his trusty anti-fangirl bat (just in case). He went over to the door and called out, "Who is it?"
"Sasuke," the person called, "It's me! Naruto! Let me in!"
Sasuke frowned (not that he wasn't frowning before. His frown just got deeper), "Go away dobe, I'm not in the mood today."
"You're never in the mood. Come on Sasuke, just let me in!"
After a breif hesitation, Sasuke threw caution (and common sense) to the wind and opened the door. He then saw everyone's favorite blonde fox-boy on his pourch with a backpack and a pillow. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
'What the crap?' he thought.
Naruto smiled a bit, "Hey, my apartment complex is being fumigated, can I stay at your place for a few days?" He then saw the bat in Sasuke's hand, "What's with the bat?"
Sasuke thought breifly if he should smack Naruto with the bat, then close the door. As apealing as this idea was, he scrapped it when faced with the realization that he'd probably get in trouble for having an unconsious Naruto on his front pourch. Sighing, he decided for the traditional approch.
"No."
"Aw, come on Sasuke, please?"
"Don't you have any other people you could annoy?"
Naruto glared at him, "Iruka-sensei is having realitives over, Sakura's parents won't let her have a boy in the house, Kiba's on a mission, Hinata blushed and fainted, Neji said he'd rather have his skin peeled off, Ino laughed at me, Shikamaru said "troublesom" and closed the door, Chouji doesn't have a guest room, I don't know where Tenten lives, I don't WANT to know where Lee lives, and Kakashi-sensei would probably kill me in my sleep."
Sasuke thought for a second, "What about Shino?" he asked.
"Shino's the reason WHY my apartment complex is being fumigated."
At this, the great Uchiha Sasuke was stumped. Aparently, there was no where to send Naruto off to. Then again, he'd probably be fine on the streets. Sure! Naruto wasn't a TOTAL whimp, he could survive a few days in the woods. Yeah, that would wo-
"If you say no now, I'll just keep comming back."
Drat, that scraps that plan. Oh well, only one thing to do. Might as well take it like a man.
Sasuke gritted his teeth, "Fine."
At this Naruto grinned, "Thanks Sasuke. Don't worry, you won't even know I'm here." Sure, yeah, like that's going to happen. Sasuke moved out of the way of the door to alow Naruto into his house. With a sigh, he said, "Follow me" and led Naruto through his house to his guest room. Upon reaching said guest room, he opened up the door to reviel a simple, modest room. Everything in this simple, modest room was covered in a simple, modest layer of dust.
Naruto looked around, "When's the last time you had anyone in this room?"
"Never." Wow, Sasuke's never had anyone over. Well, I guess that makes sense. It's not like any relatives would be stopping in, and Sasuke doesn't really have any friends to speak of (besides Naruto, but you'd have to pluck his hairs out one by one to get him to admit it). Huh, oh well. After Naruto walked into the room, Sasuke slamed the door after him. Making his way back to the couch, he continued to do exactly what he'd been doing before Naruto came over. That was nothing.
Just then, there was another knock on the door. Sasuke furrowed his brows. 'Who is it now?' he thought as he made his way over to the door. Opening it, he saw Sakura. Standing on his pouch. With a backpack. And a pillow. What the heck?
"Hey Sasuke-kun!" she said happily. Sasuke twitched. Sakura continued, "My parents are going out of town, and I can't stay at my house by myself, could I stay with you?"
Sasuke glared at her, hoping that if he did it long enough, his intense stare would eventually burn a hole in her forehead. It wasn't working. "No."
Sakura pouted, "Come on Sasuke-kun, please? I've got no where else to go!"
Sasuke raised his eyebrow.
Sighing, the pink haired girl explained, "Ino's mom is redecorating their guest room, Tenten and Chouji don't have guestrooms, Hinata was pushed out of the way by Neji who screamed "Will you people stop comming here!?", I can't ask Lee, Kiba's on a mission, Shino freaks me out, Shikamaru said "troublesome" and closed the door, and Kakashi-sensei would probably kill me in my sleep."
Sasuke's eyebrow rose even more. If it weren't attached to his head, it'd probably have flown off into the air, shoot up into space, and be burned up in the atmosphere. He continued to just stare at Sakura while she pouted. Sakura, seeing how the pout wasn't working, decided to pull out the big guns. Opening her eyes up wide, she somehow chibi-fied herself and stared at Sasuke with a look so cute, it would make Neji squeal and hug her. That mental image is slightly disturbing. Anywho...
Eventually, Sasuke broke down at the sight of chibi-Sakura, and let her into his house. Sakura smiled happily.
"Thank you Sasuke-kun!" she chirpped as he led her to his second guest room. Sasuke's house had many bedrooms in it. Sasuke told himself he might as well keep them as bedrooms 'cause eventually he might get married. He shuddered at the thought.
After slamming that door behind Sakura, he walked back to his couch and hoped for peace and quiet. Things never work out for him.
There was another knock at the door. Sasuke was angry. His peace and quiet was being interrupted! He stomped over to the door, opened it up, and glared at the person outside. This time it was someone he didn't know.
On his pourch was a girl around his age with extremely long brown hair tied up in two pigtails with a few strands in her face. She was wearing a black t-shirt with the words "It's not my fault you fail at life" on it, a nametag that said "Hello, my name is Fis" and long jean shorts. She was holding a pizza box.
"Hello sir or madam," she said boredly, her eyes on the sky, "I'm hear to deliver your Shnaze Co. pizza."
Sasuke glared at her, "I'm a guy."
Fis brought her eyes down to meet his face, "Good for you."
Sasuke's eye twitched, "I didn't order a pizza."
Fis raised her eyebrow, "What's your point?"
"I don't want a pizza."
"Then why'd you order one?"
"I didn't!"
"Then why am I here?"
Sasuke opened his mouth to tell her to 'shove off' when Naruto picked that moment to walk by the door. He peaked his head over Sasuke's shoulder to see who he was talking too, and smiled.
"Sweet! Pizza!" he exclaimed grabbing the box from Fis and making his way over to the coffee table by the couch. Sasuke turned to glare at him.
"Did you order this?" he asked Naruto, who was stuffing his face with pizza.
Naruto shook his head, "I didn't, but why question it?"
Sakura chose that moment to make her entery. She saw the pizza on the table and smiled.
"Thanks Sasuke-kun!" she said as she grabbed a slice. Sasuke frowned even more.
"I didn't order it." Sakura raised an eyebrow at this. She turned towards Naruto.
"Did you order a pizza without Sasuke-kun's permission?" she asked him, all the while glaring at the poor fox boy. Naruto shook his head. Sakura frowned, "No one ordered this pizza, yet you're eating it anyway?"
"But Sakura-chaaaaaan," Naruto whined, "It's got a stuffed crust!"
"As entertaining as this is," Fis interruppted, "I'd like the payment for that pizza so I can leave. Sir."
Sasuke turned his attention back to her, "I'm not paying for this, I didn't order a Shnaze Co. pizza! What the heck is Shnaze Co. anyway?!"
Suddenly, that cheesey happy elevator music started playing and Fis said: "Well, sir, Shnaze Co. is a multi-purpose corperation that uses it's vast resourses to make life easier for the common person. Shnaze Co. provides many survices such as pizza delivery, fishtank cleaning, assasanations, and stand-up comedy, to name a few. The staff at Shnaze Co. is always happy to serve, and ready on call to provide you with excelent service. It's Shnazey," After which the elevator music stopped, "We also sell pudding."
"Oo, oo!" Naruto said, "Get some pudding!"
"I'm don't want any stupid pudding!" Sasuke shouted back at him.
"It's quite good pudding, sir," Fis interjected.
"I could go for some pudding," Sakura added.
This was giving Sasuke a migrane, "FINE! I'll get some stupid pudding! Then will you just leave!?"
"Yes sir," Fis said with a sarcastic smile on her face. She then produced three pudding cups. From where we don't know, "Would you like a spoon sir?"
Sasuke's eye twitched again, "Yes."
"Alright sir, that will be $5.29, sir."
"Whatever." Sasuke handed Fis the money and she handed him the pudding cups. She did not move from the pourch. Sasuke glared at her.
"What do you want now?"
"It's company policy to ensure customer satisfaction sir," Fis explained, "I can't leave untill you eat the pudding, sir."
"FINE!" Ripping off the top of a pudding cup, Sasuke stuck the spoon in and shoved some pudding into his mouth. After swollowing he said, "There! Are you happy now?!"
Fis smiled, "Very."
Suddenly, Sasuke froze. Next thing any of them knew, he fell to the ground twitching. Sakura was shocked.
"What did you do to him!?" she cried out at Fis.
"I didn't do anything," Fis explained, "the pudding did."
"Why'd you give Sasuke-kun poisoned pudding?!"
"It's his fault for not knowing it wasn't pudding. He IS supposed to be a ninja."
"It wasn't pudding?" Naruto asked, Fis shook her head, "Then what was it?"
"If I tell you," Fis said, "Then that guy's going to REALLY regret eating it."
"I think he already regrets eating it," Sakura said as she watched Sasuke twitch on the floor, "Why'd you do that any way?"
Fis shrugged, "I was paid to give it to him."
"We know he bought it," Sakura said exsasporated, "We want to know why you told him it was pudding."
"I don't!" Naruto shouted from over at the couch. He then narrowed his eyes at Fis, "This is pizza I'm eating, right?"
Fis nodded, "Yup, the pizza's fine." At which Naruto smiled and continued to eat his stuffed-crust Shnaze Co. pizza. She turned her attention back to Sakura, "To answer your question, it wasn't this guy's satisfaction that I was ensuring. I was hired by someone else to get him to eat that." she looked down at the still twitching Sasuke, "And my job isn't over yet." Fis then produced a poleroid camera. From where we don't know. She snapped a picture of Sasuke on the floor, one eye half open, and slightly foaming at the mouth, "Now my job is complete. Thank you for your participation, and enjoy your free Shnaze Co. pizza." Fis then turned on her heal and walked away.
"Wait!" Sakura shouted after her. Fis turned slightly, "He's going to be okay right?"
Fis nodded, "He'll be fine in about 20 minutes. Just make sure he doesn't go near any standing bodies of water for 2 days." and with that she walked away from the house and dissapeared from sight. Sakura closed the door.
"Well that was weird," she muttered to herself. She then dragged Sasuke (still twitching) over to his couch.
"Not that I'm complaining," Naruto started, "But I wonder who hired that girl to do that..."
It was a wonderful day at Hatake Kakashi's house. He sat on his couch, reading his coveted book, when there was a knock on the door. Kakashi walked over and opened it up to reveil Fis, standing on his pourch.
"Hello sir or madam," she said, once again boredly, "I'm here to inform you that the service you asked of Shnaze Co. has been completed," she then handed the poleroid picture to the masked-nin, "Thank you for choosing Shnaze Co." she then turned on her heal and began down steps of Kakashi's pourch.
"You do know I'm a guy right?" Kakashi called after her.
"Like it matters!" Fis shouted back at him before she dissapeared from sight.
Kakashi stood there for a moment, staring at the spot Fis had stood. He then shrugged, and closed his door.
Hope you liked it! Please review and request the next person to be visited by Shnaze Co.!