(I don't own IZ.
Zim learns the consequences of killing off your mate when you're carrying a smeet)
It was too easy, Zim should have thought of it years ago.
The idea came to him while watching what the humans call soap operas, after mating the male is usually too tired to fight and often falls asleep, killing them then was easy.
Zim had studied human mating hormones, it would be easy to make a potent batch and with Dib in that teenage stage when humans were most susceptible all Zim had to do was lure him into the base and the rest would take care of itself, once the Dib human smelled the hormones on Zim he wouldn't be able to resist.
The bait was set Zim had ordered a huge crate of burritos to keep Gir out of the way but made a huge fuss over it like it was some super weapon.
Dib like the susceptible moron he was fell for it, however the plan went a bit awry from there, the hormone batch was too potent Dib immediately attacked and raped Zim.
Once he was done he left Zim in a broken heap too tired to stop Dib from leaving.
After he recovered he decided never to try that again, because the side affects of mating with a human lasted far too long.
Zim had gotten sick several times and started craving weird foods.
On the day he realized that he had gained some weight with all the extra snacking Dib snuck into his base again, He claimed it was to apologize and to find out why Zim had been missing so much skool.
However small amounts of the human mating hormone still lingered in the base, the Dib initiated mating again but this time he was far gentler and Zim enjoyed it somewhat, after Dib was finished he predictably rolled over and fell asleep, Zim took the opportunity to finally dispatch the only thing standing in his way for word conquest.
He disposed of the body and it seemed as though no one noticed Dib's death. Zim felt sorry for his fallen enemy, the worst fate for an Irken soldier was to be forgotten.
That's why the pak memory was developed so that they could be remembered forever in the control brains.
Zim vowed not to forget Dib so when his pak joined the control brains Dib would be remembered through him.
The snacking and weight gain continued and Zim began to tire easily, Damn Dib he manages to defeat Zim even after his death this was all the mating's fault, something was happening to his body because of it.
He decided to finally ask the computer what was wrong with him when intense pain wracked his body
"Computer what is wrong with me?"
"You are birthing"
"What?"
"You are about to birth a smeet"
"I am what the humans call pregnant? How is that even possible? I'm male!"
"You never paid attention during irken biology did you?"
"I skipped that class it was boring" Zim groaned in pain as he went to lay down on the examining table the computer covered him with a blanket and prepared him for the birth
"Male Irkens are capable of conceiving since Irken females are rare, but since the tube breeding program started males no longer decided to carry since it was no longer necessary, females will still do it for unknown reasons"
"I don't know why they would want to the pain is incredible" Zim then screamed as an intense contraction wracked his body then he felt something wet slide out. He was too tired to even look but the computer took care of the smeet, attaching a small pak and cleaning it up, the computer then plopped the little blanket wrapped bundle in Zim's arms.
Zim peeled back the blanket, the little smeet looked at him with golden eyes Zim brushed the little guy's lekku which resembled the late Dib's scythe lock. Aside from his eyes and odd lekku the smeet looked completely Irken; Zim couldn't help but love him.
"I'll call you Dib after your late father"
The smeet looked at him with frightened eyes
"Don't be scared I'll never let anything harm you, you can trust Zim with that"
"Zim you're my mother?" the little smeet even sounded like Dib
"Yes but you can call me papa if you want"
"Ok" the poor little smeet still looked frightened but soon fell asleep and Zim decided to do the same.
Zim had no idea what to do with a little smeet. Irken smeets could walk and talk at birth and little Dib was as curios as his late father, constantly getting into experiments and accidentally wrecking his world domination plans, Zim could have sworn it was Dib himself deliberately messing things up, but whenever Zim found little Dib amongst another ruined experiment, all he had to do was give Zim smeety eyes and Zim couldn't find the heart to punish him.
With little Dib running around Zim was often to distracted to even come up with new plans and he hadn't realized that he hadn't called the Tallest in a long time until they called him hoping that he had died.
Zim was startled when they came on screen, he was busy prying a destabilizer gun from little Dib.
"My tallest what a surprise for you to call me"
Little Dib was just as startled by the sudden appearance of the Tallest on screen, his grip loosened on the gun and Zim put it out of reach
"Zim we had wondered why you hadn't bothered us ahem reported in for a while. We are greatly displeased to find that you have reproduced and failed to tell us".
"The little smeet needs to come to Irk to be sorted and trained"
"You're taking little Dib away?" Zim's lekku drooped dejectedly, little Dib clung to Zim's leg
"I don't want to go; I want to stay with PAPA"
Zim was a bit startled by this little Dib rarely called him papa and never hugged Zim, however little Dib was clinging to Zim's boot quite desperately he was frightened.
Zim picked him Up, little Dib then clung to his shirt and buried his face in his arms
"See you've spoiled him Zim, he needs to learn what it is to be Irken and he won't do so among humans, we will send a ship to pick him up."
"My Tallest"
Zim began to protest but the transmission was already cut. He looked down at the little smeet clinging to him; he will miss the little guy desperately.
(For me this is a short chapter, I don't plan on making this a big saga like my other Zim fics, which are being worked on I promise. R&R please)