EDIT: this is officially the last chapter of Bad, Bad Bella. I'm working on a new Twilight fic, but I won't be posting it until I finish "People of the Wolf." I will update PotW by the end of next week, so hang in there kids. :-P

Voilà! La nouvelle chapitre!

The front door swung open abruptly, startling me so badly that I flew off the couch. Jacob let out an incoherent shout, staggering to his feet. I cursed as my knees began to fully appreciate the sting of my fall. With a barely contained snarl, I looked up to the door.

Billy rolled in on his wheelchair, looking perplexed. "What's going on here?" he asked suspiciously. I could only stare wordlessly. The shock of Billy's sudden entrance had been enough to clear my muddled brain, but I still couldn't think of a reasonable excuse for our terror-stricken leaps.

"We were watching a movie," Jake lied, pointing to the TV. "It was really freaky." I glanced over, noting with relief that Jake had been watching some gruesome zombie movie when I'd arrived – something I hadn't noticed, considering the state I was in.

Billy shook his head and rolled past us, and down to his bedroom. "Don't stay up too late," he shouted back at us.

As soon as his door closed, I turned back to Jake. "I should go," I said shakily.

"You don't have to," Jake said softly.

I looked at my feet. "Yeah. I do. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Bye, Bells." He gave me a sweet smile, and didn't even try to kiss me goodbye or anything. I could feel my heart again – but I wished I couldn't. It was shattering into a million pieces.

-- -- --

Back home, I went straight to my room. Charlie was in the living room, watching the game. He greeted me when I entered, but immediately focused on the TV again. All the better for me – if I had to have a conversation with him, he'd know right away that something was wrong.

In my room, I found a note on my bedside table. I considered burning it, but in the end, I couldn't do it. I needed to know what it said.

Bella,

I know how you feel about me. And I understand. To be honest, I often wondered how long it would take you to realize that I'm no good for you. And that's what I need you to know – that I told the greatest lie of my life when I left you. In all the years I have to spend without you, I'll never be able to do anything to deserve you. It's not that you're no good for me. You're too good for me, Bella. And you were right before, about change. You've changed since I've been gone. Forgive me my arrogance in assuming it was my fault, even if you can't forgive me for anything else. I wish you well. I love you.

Edward.

I choked back hot tears as I finished the letter. Why did this have to be so messy? Why couldn't it be like I pictured? Why had he left in the first place?

That night I fell asleep fully dressed, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't dream at all.

-- -- --

The next day at school, I got more stares than on my first day in Forks.

"Bella?" Mike passed me in the hallway, looking a bit incredulous.

"Yeah?" I asked quietly.

"You… nothing. See you later."

"Bye."

I brushed past him and hurried to English. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I felt more at peace than I had in months.

"Look who finally started dressing like a normal human," Lauren said snidely, eyeing my plain brown sweater derisively.

"Look who still doesn't know when to shut the fuck up," I replied apathetically. Fighting with Lauren had become a tiresome game, one I didn't want to play anymore. I was tired of her cattiness and I was tired of always taking her bait. I ignored whatever comment she shot back at me and took out my books. I'd done my English homework at lunch. I hoped that Mr. Kemp wouldn't have an aneurism.

I was careful not to look around – I wasn't sure I could bear to look at Edward. I kept my eyes carefully focused on my textbook. But when Mr. Kemp took roll, Edward didn't answer.

"Edward Cullen?" Mr. Kemp repeated, looking up from his roster.

No answer. I dared a small glance at Edward's desk.

Empty.

After class, I felt like all the wind had been let from my sails. At the same time, I felt this odd sense of relief. I no longer felt compelled to rush around playing the hard-ass. I let myself fade into the crowd, and when it was time to go home, I crawled into my truck and drove at a responsible speed.

-- -- --

At home, I went straight up to my room, as per usual. Some habits are just hard to break. Oddly enough, I'd had no trouble quitting smoking. Just looking at a pack of cigarettes made me think of Edward, and a strange mix of emotions distracted me from any nicotine withdrawal.

"Bella."

I whirled around, startled. Edward sat in the corner in my rocking chair.

"Edward," I whispered.

"Brown," Edward noticed, satisfaction barely concealing the desolation in his tone. "I like brown… it's warm."

I smiled weakly, remembering a distant conversation. Neither of us said anything. For a breathless moment, I met his eyes, and my stomach lurched as if the world had turned over. It wasn't fair that he could still affect me like this. Why couldn't this be a normal relationship?

Finally, Edward broke the silence. "You read my note?"

I nodded mutely.

"So… you understand… what I said when we left… it was all a lie. I just wanted to protect you."

I sat slowly on my bed, digesting his words. "I… understand."

Edward waited a moment, as if expecting me to say more. When I did not, he stood and crossed the room to my window. He paused a moment, his hands on the sill. "I just wanted to make sure you knew."

His fingers were at the latch.

"Edward…"

He pushed the window open.

"I never changed," I blurted.

His hands froze.

"I never hated you," I whispered, looking away.

He turned slowly, amber eyes guarded as he surveyed me. "What are you saying, Bella?"

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to speak. "I… I was trying to protect myself too, I guess."

Edward sat beside me on the bed, searching my eyes.

"I didn't want to be hurt again," I explained carefully.

"So…?"

"You said in the note that you loved me. Did you mean it?"

Edward inhaled sharply, giving me an incredulous look. "I can't believe you ever doubted it. I can't believe you fell for my lies. Of course I love you!"

I looked down at my feet, blushing. "I love you, Edward. I never stopped loving you."

I felt his cold arms wrap around me, pulling me tight against his granite chest. "Bella," he whispered, pressing his lips against my hair.

Teehee! Now to answer a few questions…

Q: Why did Bella go over to Jake and try to deflower him?
A: She is really messed up, okay? The visit from Edward really rattled her, considering she thinks he's this heartbreaking liar and all of the sudden he just shows up and wants everything to be right as rain. So she goes to Jake, who's been pretty much the ONLY constant for her, and she does what she thinks will make him happy. Because Edward is so clearly NOT making her happy.

Q: Fair enough. But why does she suddenly flip her switch in this chapter and decide to make things all peaches and cream between her and Edward?
A: Silly little fool. Have you not paid any attention? Bella is incredibly unstable. We're lucky she didn't go to school wearing her bed sheets and demanding to be called the Empress of Rome! Just wait until the next chapter when it turns out that she got pregnant with Jake's werewolf baby through some sort of immaculate conception! (Okay, just kidding on that one. No fears for those of you who expressed the sentiment that you might smother me in my sleep if Bella got pregnant by Jacob.)

Q. Alright then, Miss Smarty Pants. Then riddle me this: what's long, hard and full of seamen?
A. A submarine, of course. (What?! Keep your mind out of the gutter!!!)
(P.S. That joke works better out loud. Unless you're not aware of the differences in spelling between seamen and… well, you know.)