From the following day onwards,

One more task fell heavily upon Shinichi.

Besides walking me home from school,

He had to accompany me to school as well.

x

You must think, oh, poor him!

…To be an unpaid bodyguard for Kudo Ran,

The troublesome girl with abundant violent tendencies.

x

Then, you,

x

My dear friend,

x

Are,

x

Dead wrong.

x

Plus completely disillusioned.

x

Kudo Shinichi the, the, the despicable cockroach,

Enjoyed making me mad.

x

Let me list you the reasons.

x

First of all,

He had a car, that is, a four-wheeled vehicle that could take me to school with good speed.

Oh, imagine how many more minutes I could lie in my bed, asleep and dreaming,

If not for the time needed to travel to school on foot.

x

Shinichi, on the other hand,

Told me, with a trying-to-hide-a-grin face, that

He did not want to stretch his chauffeur's working hours.

As if he hadn't been getting to school with a car

Before he discovered the twisted fun in walking me to wherever I go.

x

Second of all,

After his firm decision in walking me to school every day,

He knocked on my door every morning,

To wake me up earlier than I normally did,

And to push me around to get ready for our enjoyable stroll.

x

Enjoyable, according to him.

x

Bullshit, said I.

x

Sadly,

Today is one of the many-more-to-come unlucky days.

x

'Open the door, Ran!'

That was his customary greeting.

x

I flopped onto my stomach

And covered my head with the pillow.

His wake-up calls made the alarm clock sound much more pleasant and endearing.

x

Dear Conan-Alarm-Clock, I have missed you so much.

I apologise for not giving you the opportunity to wake me up these days.

x

The pillow printed with Kaito's mysterious figure hovering beneath a bright full moon

Was a suitable soundproof system.

At least for this occasion anyway.

Thanks, Kaito-Kid-Pillow, you are my best friend.

x

The peaceful silence allowed me to enter my dreams again…

x

'Ladies and gentlemen,

It's show time!...'

Kaito Kid the Phantom Thief walks elegantly in the air,

From the top of the building,

Descending step by step,

The sound of his footsteps ringing clear,

Echoing loudly in the night,

Until he came to a halt not far from me,

Still suspended in the air…

x

Ehh?

He has Kudo Shinichi's face?!

x

A beautiful dream had just transformed into a nightmare without warning.

Nooooooo—

x

I sat up abruptly in my bed,

Effectively shattering the image in my mind into invisible pieces.

And grudgingly accepting that I should not be sleeping anymore,

In case I see anymore of his face in my dream.

x

'Morning, Ran.'

x

'AHHH!'

I flung my pillow away.

I was shocked by the nearness of that familiar voice.

It was Shinichi, the sadistic idiot.

He caught the pillow and propped it up behind his back.

Crossing his arms and ankles, he settled himself comfortably on my bed.

My bed.

x

My beloved bed,

I'm sorry you have to tolerate Shinichi's presence.

x

'What is it, Ran?'

Ryosuke's voice was full of concern when he flung my door open.

I think he flew out of his room to mine,

Seeing that he only had his briefs on,

And that his hair looked like the home of a certain organism with feathers and wings.

x

'It's Shinichi!

Get him away from here, will you?'

I pointed my finger accusingly at the gigantic cockroach beside me.

x

Ryosuke's eyes met with Shinichi's.

x

There was a certain communication going on.

A wordless, soundless communication that I did not get at all.

After that, he cleared his throat,

'I'm sure you can manage fine on your own.'

Grinning, he ignored my pleas and abandoned me.

x

This,

I decided,

Must be a conspiracy between Cockroach I and Cockroach II.

x

Disgusting creatures, both of them.

x

'How the hell did you—'

Then I noticed my opened window.

Opened window.

Quite recently opened,

I might add.

x

'Your window wasn't locked,' he explained.

As though it was perfectly reasonable for him to climb into my room through the window.

x

'It isn't a matter of whether I locked my window or not.'

I scrunched my expression to look like I wanted,

Very badly,

To shoot daggers with shiningly sharp blades at him.

x

'Would you rather I kick open your front door?'

x

I ignored his retarded suggestion and marched to the bathroom.

After relieving my bladder, washing my face and brushing my teeth,

There was no other reason to stay in there and avoid him.

So I picked up the bottle of water on my table to quench my thirst,

Paying no heed to him,

Er, well,

Pretending to pay no heed to him.

x

I have never been good at pretending.

Dammit.

x

'Listen here, Shinichi.

The next time you come here,

Even though I'd rather you not come at all in the morning,

You will press the doorbell onlyonce.

If I don't answer the door within two minutes,

Give up and sod off.'

x

Did I miss out anything?

Oh yes, there's one more thing.

x

'Your brains,

No matter how active they are,

Should not entertain any alternatives.'

x

'Done with talking?'

He got off the bed.

'I'm done with listening, anyway.'

And walked towards me.

x

'Don't come near me.

I'm still mad at you.'

I got into ready-to-fight position,

Both fists clenched in front of me.

x

He didn't listen to my advice to stay away.

So I struck my foot at him.

x

He bent low to avoid the kick and took a step nearer to my side.

x

But I kind of knew he would dodge it.

So my fist was ready to give him a good blow.

x

Bad thing was,

His arms were longer.

He grabbed hold of my shirt and caught me by surprise before I could deliver that punch.

x

Next thing I knew,

My wrists were in his hands.

x

He has amazing reflexes.

And I hate it.

x

'Ten seconds.

If you can break free in ten,

I'll kiss you.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight…'

x

If I can break free, he will kiss me.

What the hell?!?!

x

'…Five.

Four…'

x

'Wait!

What if I can't?'

x

'Then I'll let go—'

x

'Of your hands and kiss me?'

x

He grinned,

'You know me so well.'

x

I knew it.

It's not that I don't like the idea of his kissing me.

However, in a situation like this,

I must uphold my pride and honour.

x

I'm gonna make you kiss the wall, dude.

x

'Ten more seconds.

Give me another ten seconds.

If I can break free,

You will have to maintain a distance of…

Five yards from me.

For the rest of the day.

Five yards, Shinichi.

Not an inch less.'

I was going to say for one week,

But my pride and honour could only hold out for so long.

x

He pondered for a moment.

'Okay,' He agreed.

'Ten.

Nine…'

x

I covered his lips with mine.

Please let this work.

I slid my tongue into his mouth.

I don't want to let him win this one.

I pressed my body to his.

Come on.

x

Suddenly,

He released my hands to…

Put his arms around me?

Or to hold my head? Shoulders? Waist?

x

Hehe…

Too bad.

He didn't get a chance to try.

x

I pushed him away hard.

And he bumped backwards into the bed.

x

Poor bed.

Again, I am truly sorry.

I had no choice by to push him that way.

x

'Damn!

What have I done to myself?

Making a risky bet like that...'

He laughed at himself,

Then turned to me,

'That,

Was the meanest thing you've ever done to me, Ran.'

x

I am so proud of myself.

It would not be a lie to tell my grandchildren that

I have lived with grace and dignity.

x

'It's retribution, Shinichi.

You deserve much retribution,

And this is only Episode One.

Expect the second episode anytime in the future.'

Then I grinned my smuggest grin at him.

x

---

A huge HELLO to all my dear readers! Thanks for showing your support despite my taking so long in completing a chapter! I hope you found this chapter engaging or, at the least, amusing.

Hugs & chocolates, luna nuova.

p.s. Please spare a little more of your time to read my other story Humoresque and tell me what you think of it, if you could. Thanks a lot!