UPDATE: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THE ORIGINAL CHAPTERS ONE AND TWO.
Hinata just wasn't interested. All her friends were out getting laid and bragging, but she just didn't want to. Sex, sex, sex. It was everywhere. But... She didn't want that. People said she was a late bloomer, it would come in time. That was when she was fifteen. Two years later the thought of it still made her want to retch. Asexual Hinata has a bad first relationship with a very pushy Kiba. Her father finds out about the relationship and decides to marry her off before another such incident makes her unsuitable for marriage. She has to find someone willing to take her or have the council and her father chose for her. She loves Naruto, but she's just not ready for that kind of relationship. She never would be. Someone in a similar predicament offers to take her hand and not her dignity. How long will his attitude last? SasuHina with KibaHina in the beginning.
WARNING: This fic is rated M for a reason. Citris, but NOT PWP. It sort of has a plot. It has it's dark moments and is full of the angst of teenagers. I'll try to make it not completely emo, but I'm also trying to stay in character as well as I can. And we all know Sasuke... This fic will not be centered around any other pairings, because it's about Hinata. If I change my mind later (which is unlikely) it will only be because the plot demands it. Constructive critique is encouraged, but please don't just bash. Ex:
Critique: "You're plot is really sketchy and I think you made Kiba too brutal."
Bash: "This sucks."
Thank you for checking out my fic, and I won't put a disclaimer up because this site is called so I think it's implied. --;;
Chapter 1: A Love Too Pure/ Betrayal of Betrayal
"W-wait!" Her voice shook in a half whimper as he moved his hand up her leg. "P-p-please… Please stop!" Her nose stung and her voice caught in her throat. She held back tears of hurt, tears of betrayal. She didn't want to cry, she promised herself she wouldn't cry anymore. "K-Kiba!" She sobbed, her voice hitched, jerking as one does when one is walking and their clothes snag on something pulling them back while still going forward.
"You're just nervous." Kiba cooed, making it hard to discern whether he was trying to sooth her fears or trick her into submission. His rough hand slipped beneath the waistband of her pants sliding over her underwear to rest between her legs. One layer of thin silk protected her from his overbearing grasp. He rubbed his three middle fingers on the silk, causing her to gasp. The gasp was mistaken as one of pleasure and the hand massaged harder causing her to release another round of sobs and pleas.
"Please, Kiba… P-please st-stop!" He chose to ignore her last word and lifted up the hem of her panties. Then he pushed a finger painfully into her and the hard fought tears made their way down her delicate cheeks. She didn't cry from the pain, not the physical pain. This was a betrayal of her trust in him, everything she thought about him. She said no, she said she didn't want to but he did it anyway. He always thought she was just being shy, but she didn't feel anything from his fingers in her. There was the initial pain from her being stretched, but after that she felt completely numb. She didn't feel pleasure from this. Not from something as disgusting as this.
He took her hand and placed it on the noticeable bulge in his pants, releasing a hearty growl of desire. "I want you, Hinata." She just cried, cried as she always did. A girl like her, he thought, must cry from the feeling he gave her. She was so innocent after all. But this was boring him, he was tired of having to trick and push her into every new thing. Seriously, the girl was innocent even while they did these things. This had to stop. He jerked her pants violently, taking her underwear down with them. She was pinned beneath him, but he saw her try to scoot away as he reached his hand down to his own zipper. "N-No….!" When she acted like this he thought it best to ignore her. All girls were like this their first time, weren't they? After this she needn't be afraid of anything they did.
Earlier in their relationship she had explained her fear of people to him. Not them personally, but all of them together, gatherings and the like. Her fear of being touched even by an innocent brush of a shoulder as people pushed by in the hallways. He intended to cure her of that. He finished pulling himself out of the hole in the front of his boxers and scooted himself closer to her. "Wa—" She started, but he silenced her before the word could escape her lips. When they had started dating eight months before, she didn't even understand what he meant when he asked her if she was wet. He'd taught her a lot since then, or tried to. She'd seen his dick before, he even had her touch him, but she never got used to it. This relationship they had wasn't enough. Couldn't she see how much he needed her?
Hinata gasped for breath as he released her mouth. She never liked the feeling of his tongue inside of her mouth, she felt like she was choking. His hand moved down to guide himself to her. She was horror stricken. This couldn't be happening. She was only seventeen, not even a proper adult! She had no intention of doing this… This thing that she would never understand. She didn't like it. She rejected it with every fiber of her body. Her eyes flashed wildly around the room, anywhere but at him. At that thing. She had told herself that if she loved him she had to accept him, all of him. But… But… A new wash of tears streamed down her face and she raised her arms in front of herself as if to fend him off. "I don't want to… I don't want to… P-please… Please don't…" His eyes were shadowed so that his expression was covered. She closed her eyes and prepared herself for the pain. For the numbness in between her legs devoid of any of the wonderful sensations her friends had bragged about. She'd never felt those feelings, just pressure. And pain. "P-please…" The whisper was her last attempt to save herself, to make this nightmare end. "Y-you… You promised…" She quivered as she felt the heat of his chest move closer. "P-promised you… Wouldn't h-hurt me."
He froze and his entire body went rigid. He growled in irritation and she felt more than saw him move away from her. She scrambled to conceal herself with her clothing that had been pushed down to her knees. The tears wouldn't stop flowing down her face, she knew that she had upset him. She knew from the moment that she had allowed him to kiss her the first time that she would never be good enough for him because of who she was. No man would want someone like her. She had admired him for his confidence, just as she had admired Naruto. She didn't know her feelings, she did love him but she didn't want him to do these things. Never. No man could accept that. No one would love her without asking the impossible.
He wouldn't put up with her anymore. She knew it. For weeks he had been distant, not even speaking to her as a girlfriend. He treated her like that and then this suddenly. His final test. She knew it. She knew it. It was all her fault, because she wasn't good enough. Because she was afraid. Because she didn't like the things that everyone by human nature should. She must be broken, something was wrong with her. She wanted to make him happy, but she just couldn't… Not that. Anything but that. His back was to her and she knew what would happen next. All those times she didn't push him away because he dropped hints that he would leave her. But this was too far for her to pretend, even if it meant she had to be alone.
"Hinata…" His guttural voice was the perfect example of carefully controlled emotion. Anger, frustration. She could hear it in his voice, see it in the way he held himself. "I'm bored." He walked out of the room leaving her in a crumpled ball on the bed. That was it. His last words rang through the air accompanied by her pained sobbing. She didn't know how long it had been when she finally willed herself to get up. She left through the window so she wouldn't have to face him. He'd be sleeping on the couch tonight so he wouldn't even know she was gone until he woke up the next day.
Hinata-sama had been in her room all week. They were not close, but nor were they distant. Her avoidance of the household, of her life vexed him. But she was not one to run away from her problems anymore, not for the past couple of years. Not since he beat her the first time she took the Chuunin exam. She had undergone many hardships since then; the council's harassment and interrogation, her father's disapproving glances, Hanabi's continual triumph over her. Even he himself had been cold to her on occasion out of pure habit. Something must have happened to make her forget her aspirations to change herself.
He sighed, brows furrowed in a shape that could be read as concern. He really was no good at speaking with her. Things between them were still… Awkward. Not in a bad way as it had been, but awkward none the less. Even as he thought these things to himself he was making his way down the hall towards her room. Perhaps he would not need to do anything. Perhaps it was something that could be solved simply by listening to her. Perhaps, but he doubted it. If it was that simple she would not have locked herself up there to begin with. The door stood in front of him, not a foot from his face. He could reach out and touch the wood screen so easily, but he just stood there debating whether or not to come in.
He had done this everyday that week, ever since she came home one afternoon without greeting him in the hallway. She always greeted him in the hallway. Today was just like all the other days. He stood there, lifted his hand, and let it drop to his side once more. Each day he had stayed just a little bit longer. Today he would go in. She should not waste her life away in this fashion. She was blessed by birth and would be the heiress one day. Well, she might be. The council greatly favored Hanabi at the moment, so there was a chance that she would simply be married off to another clan as an honorable way to get her out of the way. But he didn't think that would be the case. She said she would change the Hyuuga, and he believed her.
With memories of her encouraging smile, he lifted his hand for a second time. He felt the wood panel beneath his fingers and knew that there was no going back. His decision was made. The sound of the sliding wood door and then he was inside. The room was unnaturally clean. The walls were the same white paper that ran through the entire manor, and there was a single desk in the room. Her bed was safely folded up in the closet leaving it the only furniture in the room. Hinata sat in the middle of the room staring out at everything and nothing. Unfocused eyes snapped to attention when he entered the room and she scrambled to get up to bow to him.
"No. Stay where you are. I will sit with you." The commanding tone of his voice made her freeze in place. She cast her eyes shamefully to the floor and poked her index fingers together nervously. She was the image of a child who knew they were about to get scolded by a cold parent. It was the very expression that she had worn every time her father had pulled her aside to speak to her about her training. He would never raise his voice, he would never even show disappointment. Only a cold expression showing that he did not like what he saw. It was the look of all the Hyuuga elders. Although he did not like to admit it, it was an expression that he shared. Only Hinata seemed to have never used it.
"G-gomen nasai, Neji-niisan. I did not mean to cause trouble and make you come to check on me. I-" Her voice faltered for a moment. She knew exactly why he was there, then. Her guilty expression confirmed it as much as her next words. "I will return to my training tomorrow. I apologize, I have been… Indisposed." Her head hung but her shoulders stayed back and her back straight. Even in such a state, Hinata was a Hyuuga.
"I did not come to scold you, Hinata." It was plain that she believed her father had sent Neji to retrieve her. It pained him slightly to know that she felt he was as cold as Hiashi, but he had done nothing to convince her otherwise in all these years. Perhaps he was as cold as Hiashi, but it did not matter. "You have confined yourself to your room for many days now and I was concerned for your well being." He looked her straight in the eye as he spoke the words, capturing her gaze and holding it. He was pleased to see that her eyes did not reflect shock.
Neji's unexpected show of concern for herself caused her to soften and relax in his company. She smiled warmly, already feeling like she felt a little bit better. "A… Arigatou, Neji-niisan. It makes me v-very happy that you came to visit me today." He looked at her expectantly and she realized what he required in return for this rare show of kindness. She hesitated before continuing, "I-I have just been… Upset becau- because—" Her voice caught again and it looked like she was about it burst into tears at any moment. Neji waited patiently for her to regain her composure. "K-Kiba-kun…" She whispered his name under her breath as if calling it too loudly would break the word.
Veins appeared around Neji's eyes and his brows drew close together in a glare. Now he could see everything clearly. Her frail figure shook under his gaze, he could see the way she clamped her legs together uncomfortably as she breathed his name. She drew into herself, her entire body was screaming that she didn't want anything to touch her, as if she had been remembering some unpleasant situation. A situation that made her fear to be touched. A great heat rose from his center and he stood up abruptly causing Hinata to fall backward to avoid bumping his head.
"He touched you." The sound came from deep in his throat before he could curb his voice. It was not a question. They both knew that it was not a question. But still, Hinata objected to his conclusion. "It- it's not like th-that…" She felt his angry glare bore into her. He was upset with her. But… She couldn't let Kiba take all the blame. If she'd been stronger… If she'd only been stronger then it could have all been avoided. So it was her fault, Kiba shouldn't get in trouble. He didn't deserve to feel the wrath of her cousin.
"Please… D-don't… Don't be mad at K-Kiba-kun. He meant w-well." She practically choked out the last words. She had to protect him, though. Even if… No. He wasn't using her, she refused to think like that. He had loved her. She still loved him. It just… Hadn't worked out. It wasn't his fault. It was because there was something wrong with her. He would have waited if she had made him promise to wait until after marriage. She was sure he would have. But she couldn't promise him anything because she… She was dysfunctional. That's why this problem had come out. "It- It was my fault."
His eyes narrowed down at her causing her to flinch. "Are you saying that you asked him to… Do what he did? To strip you of a future?" Surely she had more self respect than that. She was raised better. Her head shot up in shock, "He-We.. That didn't…" Neji relaxed slightly at this. She was still a virgin, then. But he had done something along those lines. Her body screamed abuse. He sighed. "He only violated you, then?" He said the word only in disgust. It was said in such a way that the message was unmistakable even as the words meant something else. He was showing his displeasure at her being fine with it all, that she had implied he had 'only' touched her. It was not the kind of attitude that a young woman should have when she was violated.
This was the Hyuuga way of communication. Words were spoken, but much more was said. Her gaze dropped to the floor, and he knew at once that his suspicions were confirmed. His voice immediately became cold. "Very well. Wash and get dressed." He did not give an explanation for his words but she did not need one. Fear struck her face as if he had slapped her. "N-Neji-niisan! Wait! P-Please! You're n-not going to…" He gave her a cold look and stepped out the door. "Hiashi-sama and I will call for you when we are ready." The door slid shut behind him. Once again, Hinata was left in a desperate mound on the floor. He was going to tell Father. He was going to tell. Her life was over.
Alright, the new and improved chapter one. I have decided that I shall write longer chapters, and so... I am combining chapters 1 and 2, 3 and 4, and 5 and 6. From now on, new chapters will be roughly four Word pages long instead of two. I hope to continue to update often, so please enjoy.