Author: Julie
Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or any songs.
A/N: Excuse my French. My plot-less French, at that. Okay, so it has a semi-plot-ish sequence of events thing. If you will.
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"Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking
As you're sliding off your dress
Then think of what you did
And how I hope to God he was worth it
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing
As your fingers touch your skin
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet
Sweetie, you had me"
– Panic! At the Disco "Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off"
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Rory had never imagined Riley ending up on her "Acceptable Boys to Date" list. He was a flirt and a player, and frankly, an asshole. But she couldn't stop herself around him. She couldn't stand him, but she couldn't stop thinking about him. She hated his cockiness, but she loved it at the same time. So she dated him. He had always pursued her, no matter how much she tried distancing herself from him. She treaded lightly. She was careful and shy, because she knew his reputation. She didn't open up to him, she didn't let him touch her. She was poised and mysterious and quiet. And then, she got sucked in.
They were together for almost two years when she walked in on him. Him and her. She was a virgin. A prude. Not even a tease because everyone figured she was just untouchable. It hurt Rory more that Melanie (she)was hard to get. Rather than it being a drunk hook up, it was a goddamn challenge to him. Riley sought her out and actuallytried to screw her while he was with Rory.
Dick. Was the only thought currently going through Rory's head. The one thing that she was thankful for was that they had skillfully avoided each other since that night, and she was wishfully thinking she could pull off avoiding him for the rest of the school year. Which just happened to be four more months.
"Rory!" Louise said for the second time.
She snapped out of her muse, and came back to the real world which was currently the noisy, busy, and extremely irritating cafeteria. "Yeah?"
"What's on your mind, babe?" 'Babe.' Riley always called her babe. Then again, who didn't he call babe?
"Oh," she said shaking her head, "Nothing, just daydreaming." Lame excuse. "Sorry, what were you saying?"
"We were just talking about that new kid. You know who he is?" Apparently Louise took lame excuses well.
"Oh, Tristan Dugrey?"
Madeline laughed. "Nice male stripper name."
"More like medieval warrior." Paris retorted.
"Whatever his name may be..." Louise said, smirking and nodding her head in the direction of a blonde guy surrounded by people. "From what I can tell he's just about to become King of everything you could possibly imagine at Chilton."
"Homecoming." Paris said.
"Prom." Madeline added.
"Women." Rory mused. She was eying the boy who currently had five girls latched onto him like leeches as she said this.
Louise glanced at Rory and smiled. "He's yours."
"What?"
"He's yours." She repeated. "You need some serious rebound action and he's by far the perfect candidate-" She was interrupted by a voice at the other end of the table.
"Yes, Louise, I agree. In fact, from my extensive research I have come to conclude that Tristan is quite the player, a type of which Rory seems to..."
"Brad!" Paris yelled, lunging at him, stating facts about privacy as she towered over him. Only Paris could pull of screaming in the lunchroom without anyone even bothering to turn a head.
"Anyways..." Madeline said, looking back down at her unfinished homework.
"I don't want him." Rory said defiantly.
"Oh please."
"I don't!"
Paris had finally finished attacking Brad who had gotten so scared he had run off to the library like a mouse, and she plopped down in her seat, out of breath. "That was an easy one."
"Thanks as always, Paris." For changing the subject, Rory thought.
"Well, then who do you want?" Louise asked, ignoring Paris.
"I...God." She was exasperated but Louise persisted.
"I wanted Riley." She shook her head. "But, I can't be with someone I don't trust. I can't be with someone who would do that to me."
Louise gave her a sympathetic look and reached across the table for her hand. "So, since you can't be with Riley..."
"Louise!" Rory cried and hit her friend on the arm, but smiling nonetheless. "I don't need rebound action, I need to heal."
"Rebounding is part of the healing process." Madeline piped up.
"No." Rory told them both forcefully, popping a chip in her mouth.
"At least get wasted." Louise pleaded.
"Okay fine." Rory said giving in. "I'll get buzzed for your sake. But I am not hooking up with the girl hound over there." She was eyeing Tristan, disgusted. He was being... rubbed by the many girls around him, and sporting a satisfied smirk.
"If that's what you say." Louise answered giving Madeline a "See what I mean?" look and taking a bite of her salad.
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That night, Louise and Madeline had dragged Rory and Paris to a party.
"It'll be fun!" Madeline promised. She was a light weight in the least, and needed about two beers to get more-than-buzzed. Yeah, after four straight vodka shots, it would be fun for Madeline.
Paris looked at Rory and rolled her eyes. Rory just shrugged.
"Please tell me he's not going to be here." Rory asked the air as they threw their coats on the ground in the foyer.
"Well." Louise grimaced sympathetically, "It is a Chilton party. You know Riley's famous for these."
Rory groaned. Yeah, she knew. She and Riley had slept together in one of the upstairs bedrooms one night after both of them got seriously trashed. She had also found him and her in the same bedroom two months later. Yeah, she definitely knew.
Madeline, who was always one to fix a bad situation, reasoned. "At least they have good music."
One of those catchy, dirty, bass-pounding rap songs was playing.
"Sure, Maddy. Sure."
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A couple hours later, Paris, Louise, and Rory were sitting on a couch listening to a very drunk Jake Ryerson tell them of his last girlfriend. They had already tried to sneak away, but when they went to get up he had asked in an extremely desperate voice why girls always left him, and they couldn't just walk away from that. It didn't help Rory's case that he was one of Riley's best friends. Or accomplices in crime. Whatever they were.
"She was real pretty." He mumbled, taking another swig, "And good in bed."
Rory scoffed silently.
"How our love did slowly fade." Either he really meant it, or he was just repeating the line from the Death Cab song in the background.
"You know, Jake, we should get-" Rory was interrupted from trying to stop him from further embarrassing himself when a voice rang out across the giant living room.
"Jake! Dude! Get over-" The boy stopped the drunken stumbling and talking when he saw Rory holding the arm of his best friend.
Rory's breath hitched, but she was the first one to speak. "Riley."
"Rory."
And with that she let go of Jake's arm and pushed past Riley outside to the balcony. She couldn't. She couldn't listen to him say her name again. Not after all the times he'd said it before in circumstances she wasn't going to think about. Not ever. Not any more.
There were a few couples out on the deck, which she found strange considering it was the middle of February, until she realized they were all either smoking or talking with a smoker, but it was so large that they hardly noticed Rory coming out, or Riley following her.
"Rory." His voice was dripping with regret and desperation. She inhaled sharply but kept walking, heading for the stairs that would lead her to the lawn where she could at least escape the goddamn hurt he was causing her. Letting out a sigh, he grabbed her shoulder, stopping her and turning her around with ease.
"Don't touch me." Her words were harsh and impatient. He stepped back in semi-surprise, letting go of her shoulder. "Look, Riley, I don't have time for this." She crossed her arms and hunched her shoulders, going into protective mode. "What do you want?"
He let out a scoff and looked away.
"What?" She asked him impatiently.
"What happened to you, Rory?" He asked, trying to find something in her eyes, but to no avail. Why had she been so suddenly defensive lately? She was always walking around like someone was going to tell her that her mother died. And then punch her in the face.
She looked in his eyes. The curly haired boy looked so helpless and afraid, in contrast to his usual carefree and rough demeanor. She looked away from him and shook her head. He was hurting her, he was killing her, but she saw something in him that she'd never seen before, in anyone. And so she stayed. "Riley..." She took a long breath and paused. "I guess you did. You happened to me."
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean?" She repeated, her voice harsh again. "What do I mean? What the fuck do you think I mean? You cheated on me!" She waved her hands around wildly. "I walked in on you fucking that girl in the upstairs bedroom of Jason Peter's million dollar mansion." She scoffed, looking at him in disbelief. "What do you think happened to me?"
He clenched his jaw. He'd never seen her act this way. She'd never seen him look so scared. "Rory... Rory." She couldn't handle it. She couldn't listen to him say her name. "Look at me." She did. "I love you, Rory." She didn't respond, but her breathing suddenly became unsteady. "I do. I love you. I can't stand not being with you. It's driving me crazy." He was hopeless. And pathetic. "I love you, Rory. I fucking love you." He looked away helplessly. "I don't know what else you want me to say! I regret what I did, but I can't make it go away. I didn't want to hurt you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so unexplainably sorry." As if saying "sorry" over and over would somehow tame her anger. She let her shoulders loose, and her right hand clung to her left elbow. She still hadn't said anything. She didn't even want to. "Rory, please say something."
"I..." She didn't know why she was doing this. "I..." She shouldn't be talking to him; he was breaking her. He had already broken her heart. "I..." Everything was telling her no. Her heart was pulling at her throat and swelling in her chest. "I..." She inhaled one more time and looked down. "I love you too."
Riley let out a sigh of relief and pulled her into a hug, kissing her forehead. She turned around in his arms to look out over the deck and up at the sky, and he rested his chin on her head. She let her body sag into his for a moment, before straightening up and moving to stand next to him. He put his arm around her and kissed her, and she couldn't help flinching. She knew she shouldn't be doing this. She was just setting herself up for heartbreak. But that look in his eyes...it was so sad. He really did look hurt. Somewhere deep inside, Riley's a good person, and I can bring that out in him. I know I can.
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Tristan watched the exchange between this random couple from across the balcony in disgust. He recognized the girl from one of his classes. Rory. Rory...he fished for a last name...Gilmore.
Nice stripper name.
It was pathetic, really, the way she just took him back like that after he had been "fucking that girl in the upstairs bedroom of Jason Peter's million dollar mansion." Just fucking took him back. I wonder if all girls in this goddamn school are pushovers. He scoffed. Or at least the other half that aren't gold diggers.
He saw her looking at the brown haired boy like he was burning her. Like she wanted to break down and start sobbing, but couldn't. He saw her nod and say something that he couldn't make out from the distance. And then the guy reached out and kissed her forehead. Tristan turned away. It was pathetic. Truly pathetic.
"Hey, baby." Tristan groaned inwardly. It was her again.
"Hey..." he answered, turning around with a smirk tugging at his lips.
He didn't know why he did this. Why he constantly pretended to like these girls and lead them on. There was no point in acting like they were special, except to fuck them. Half of them weren't even good in bed. So why did he continue to screw with them?
"So, I was thinking..." Here it went again. He was only semi-listening to her flirt with him, smiling at her when necessary. He had, in the past, figured he did it because it didn't matter. His family moved around so much that he most likely wouldn't have to deal with them in the summer or following school year if he fucked them. He had given up looking for someone better long ago. But now, they were here to stay. It wasn't his father spitting out crap, he knew it was true. They were staying. So why was he doing this? Why lead them on? Why hook up with them? He was just going to fuck up their life, no benefit to him, most definitely no benefit to them, and he knew it.
She inched closer to him, putting her hands on his chest. He fought back a roll of his eyes. "Hey," she interrupted his thoughts. "What do you say..." He knew what she was going to say, he didn't even bother listening to another word. She wanted to get him in bed. Well, why not? He put on a smirk and she grabbed his hand, leading him into the house.
So maybe Rory wasn't the only pathetic one.
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"Gilmore!" Paris yelled, dragging her into an empty room, when she and Riley had finally come inside. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Way to be subtle about your feelings on this one, Paris."
Paris ignored her. "Honestly, of all the stupid things you've done..."
"Paris, is there a point to this?" Rory asked her friend, already exasperated and getting to the point. "I'm back with Riley. That's all there is to it. You can't change that, and neither can Louise or Madeline."
"You're back with Riley."
"I'm back with Riley." Rory confirmed.
"Riley Mason."
"Glad you know his name."
Paris sighed.
"Can't you just be happy for me?" Rory asked her desperately.
Paris shrugged. "You said you couldn't be with someone you couldn't trust, someone who would do that to you. So what changed?"
Rory looked away. Paris just nodded. "Why are you doing it, Rory?"
"I guess I love him."
"Bullshit."
Rory looked away, making a face. "I'm not taking this." She pushed past Paris and marched across the room. As her hand reached the doorknob Paris called after her, "Your mom would get a kick out of this." That stopped Rory. Her mom. She had hated Riley, even before he cheated on Rory, even before she knew his reputation. Even before he took Rory's virginity. Her mom, the one person who had really, really hated this kid. Her mom was the strongest person she'd ever known. She didn't succumb to what men wanted her to do. She was strong for herself. What would she think of Rory taking him back after he said a couple "I'm sorry"s? Still with her back to Paris, Rory rubbed her temples.
"Oh, God. I have to tell her." She turned around to face the blonde, worrying her lip into her teeth.
"Yeah, well, you wouldn't if you hadn't been such a damsel in distress and taken him back after he confessed his-" her voiced raised a few octaves "-undying love to you!"
"Paris, I honestly think I'd rather listen to my mom yell at me for getting back together with him after what he did to me than to not be with him."
Paris's eyes widened in surprise. "You really love him?"
Rory turned the knob and nodded. "Yeah. I really love him."