For a contest on Gaia online.

A lot of this stuff I made up or heard on the TV.

But it was fun to write none the less.

The sun beat down on Zim as he lay upon the grass. He had gotten lost again, and wouldn't dare ask for directions for home. He felt a sense of Dejavu from that horrible walk he had with Gir. But he smirked as he saw the bright side of it all. At least he had left Gir at home this time. And that he wasn't wearing that horrible disguise the humans seemed to hate so much.

But why was it so hot?!

"You know, you are only feet away from the fire ants."

Zim sat up, to see Dib. He growled. "I knew that!" Even so, he got up, remembering the last time he had a run in with the dreaded ants. He shuddered.

Dib shrugged and turned to walk away. Zim raised an eyebrow. "What is that thing in your hand?"

Dib stopped and looked at his melting ice-cream. "Its rocky road."

"Have you the brain maggots?! THAT'S a rocky road!" He points at the street.

Dib rolled his eyes. "It's an ice cream flavor."

"…You mean they put rocks and dirt in rotten cow liquid?"

Dib had a disturbed look on his face. "What? No, its chocolate, nuts, fudge mixed with Ice cream!"

Zim nodded. "Oh, so you are eating rotten cow liquid, squirrel food and chewy gums that are made from cocoa beans?"

Dib looked at his frozen treat oddly. "I guess so…"

Zim wasn't finished. "AND you brought it from an over worked, underpaid, under aged human from a rundown filth shop that may have failed its health inspection countless times?"

Dib looked at Zim with a disgusted expression. "Look Zim, it's a hot day! I just want to eat this in peace!"

Zim didn't seem to hear him. "And those awful cow, dying in their own waste! Did you know it is legal to use a cow for food, even when it has a brain sickness that eats the skull inside out? In some cases, the eyeballs all pussy and fall out! And don't get me started on…"

"STOP! Just stop!" Dib started walking away, but Zim started to follow him.

"Wait Dib Monster! I haven't told you about the cookie cone you are eating that ball of frozen filth out of!"

"Why are you following me!?" Dib started to run.

"Do you have any idea how old that cone is?! And did you know some bugs get mixed up in the dough, so you might have bug legs in that cone?! BUG LEGS!" Zim ran faster to continue ranting.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"AND DID YOU KNOW YOU KNOW ICE CREAM; ALONG WITH OTHER FAT FILLED TREATS IS THE REASON WHY OVER 90 PERCENT OF AMERICANS ARE OVER WEIGHT?!"

Dib lost his temper and threw his ice cream on the ground, turned around and glared at Zim. "THERE! Are you happy now?!"

Zim looked at the ice cream and at Dib. "Why did you do that for?"

"What?"

Zim wagged his finger at Dib. "Do you have any idea how many humans out there are starving to death?! There are newborns that…"

"AGHHHHHH!"