Now you know
Here's my new update. I'm not sure if it works with the previous chapter or whatever. Please let me know what you think and thanks for all the positive reviews.
Day 4
I've made it to day four and there's good news. Vicodin sales have doubled in New Jersey! Again, something that you always knew and I knew about, but denied for so long has come out.
When I'm emotionally disrupted, the pain increases. I practically had to scream at Cuddy to fill my script. She thought I had a stash somewhere. Well I do, but that doesn't mean that I don't need more.
You could have written something about my drugs in your will.
At least my pain can distract me from other things, but that doesn't mean that I've forgotten you.
Today you should have seen me. You would have never let me drive the bike home, hell I could barely walk. Remember that time I treated the super model and asked you for the MRI? Yeah I was like that today, but without the MRI.
And that was with the Vicodin.
I'm not going to go and break my finger again or anything that drastic. But then again I really don't know what to do. You would always watch out for me and it's all up to me now.
You should be knocking on the door right now. Rescuing me from the sea of pain and somehow making it better. You never caused it, only took it away. Now you're causing it, who will take it away now?
Day 5
Work today with the over sympathetic people I call a team. They wouldn't challenge me at all. I could have been severely wrong -even though I never am- and they wouldn't have batted an eye lash at it. I could have killed her and they wouldn't have noticed.
They can't hurt me, I'm already hurt enough.
I've always had a way with words, but trying to win an argument with "who died and made you…" wasn't a good move.
Cuddy's trying to replace you. You didn't put her up to it did you?
"House, close the door." I came in the office because I was paged. I had nothing better to do. I closed the door and sat down. Rested my head on the cane handle and just looked at the floor.
"What do you want Cuddy?"
"I want my brilliant diagnostician back."
"Well you can't have him. He doesn't exist without that brilliant Oncologist you had."
"That's not true and you know it."
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"Make you an appointment with someone to talk to about all this."
I lifted my head but didn't look her in the eyes. "Who died and made you..." that's where I messed up. After a moment I recovered with, "I thought we were talking."
"House this isn't talking. I get that you're depressed but you still need to save lives."
"It's been FIVE days Cuddy!" I exploded now. "You can't expect me to just pick up and deal five days after discovering that my best friend, the person who actually understood me is gone from my life forever!"
"I know." She tried to stay even toned. I could tell that she didn't want to challenge me.
"Obviously you don't if you want me to pack up and move on."
She might have called out for me but I was done. I left the office. The discussion was over.
I went home, drank half a bottle then contemplated her thought on me needing to talk.
Day 6
I was in your office today and guess what? I found your secret stash of pot. Guess who's gonna have a reefer weekend? I think it's appropriate that I smoke away my first weekend without you. Everyone copes in their own way.
Jack wasn't helping as much as he usually does, so I needed Mary Jane too.
Why did we never get high together? Oh yeah, something about you being a doctor and me being one too for that matter. And something to do with it being illegal, whatever I'm doing it.
You should come too. Oh wait you're busy with the big man. I can't picture you wearing sandals, wings, white, and building a big ark. What was I thinking, you're Jewish and I don't know what you believe because you never shared that stuff with me.
Maybe I was too busy saying no God this, damn God that.
Hope being dead is almost as much fun as being stoned.
Too OOC? Whatever you think puh-leeze let me know.