And would ya look at that. Another NaruSaku story! WOOT! Just to let y'all know, this story has NO relation to Let the Rain Fall or Shadow Fall. Well actually I lied. Similar plotline. But it's not the same storyline. I was just inspired by a lovely person called LovelessLife because she sure knows how to leave reviews that make ya feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Not to mention Symbiotic for giving me a little more of an evil edge. Rant done. On with the story.
Disclaimer: Uh. Insert clever disclaimer here.
Hail pattered outside the empty Ichiraku bar, the miniscule chunks hitting the paved ground with a loud smack and rolling a little after they bounced. She let the repetitive sound echo in her ears and drown out every last thought in her busy mind. She couldn't think. She didn't want to think. All she wanted was to meet that knuckleheaded idiot, eat her ramen really fast, and get the heck out of there before she went insane.
She didn't know why he even tried anymore. She wasn't interested. She still loved him. What was there not to get? She sighed as she rested her pale face in her hand. Her emerald eyes flickering with light, she glanced behind her. He was late again, as usual. She sighed, stirring a finger in her glass of water in front of her. She watched the water swirl gently at her touch, and the ice following. She heard the clinking noises of the solid water hitting the sides of her cup. It reminded her of a vortex, and of course that reminded her of Uzumaki Naruto. Everything seemed to remind her of Naruto these days.
"Still isn't here?" the old man asked, his daughter Ayame merely looking at her in curiosity.
"No," she sighed. "Not yet."
Honestly, she had better things to do! She could be out training, so she could bring the love of her life back to her. She could be hanging out with Ino, gathering tips to get a guy. Heck, she could be working on her healing techniques with her mentor, trying to master them! But no. She was out in the freezing hail with only a light shelter to protect her from the relentless skies. Letting the soothing sound overwhelm her once more, she sighed. At least this did one good thing: it was an excellent tranquilizer.
It hurt like hell every single time she thought of him. But she knew she wasn't going to give up, it was one of the few things she had left. But it seemed like Naruto was flat out determined to make it like that. Make her give up on him, when it was her one of her only goals in sight. But the pain was slowly getting more and more unbearable each day. It focused in her chest, stabbing and twisting like a kunai turning in her heart. She rested her face in her palm, fighting to keep the threatening wave under control. The cool air and the refreshing noise outside were helping, but it wasn't enough to stop it. Her pink hair fell around her face like a curtain as she disguised her pain. It felt like she was being stabbed and strangled at the same time.
But this time, she was strong enough to hold back the tears. This time, she was strong enough to smile even though it hurt so much just to do so. She was no longer that whiny twelve year old girl she once was, but there was still something wrong with her. Why couldn't he see how much she's changed? Why couldn't he just open his onyx eyes and see? He had the Sharingan, for Kami's sake. Shouldn't he be able to see? She buried her face in her hands, overwhelmed with confusion.
He was killing her, inside out. It felt like his hand was clutching her heart and soul, and gripping and gripping until the air was squeezed out of the youthful girl's lungs. With an alarming frequency, she often felt like all the air was sucked out of the world. She'd collapse from lightheadedness, and of course have that annoying brat at her case.
"Are you okay? Are you okay?" he'd ask in a panic.
"I'm fine!" she would snap, scrambling to her feet. "I'm just fine!"
The worst part was that she knew it was all just a lie.
A stupid lie that she told herself again, again, and again.
She wasn't okay at all. Everyday she thought of him. Everyday she wanted him. And everyday she just wanted him to come back. Those thoughts kept coming and wouldn't stop, just like an inevitable wave after wave. She thought that if he would just come back, that would be all right with her. But what if that was a lie too? It probably was, because for Haruno Sakura, nothing he did was ever enough. She always wanted more. And it killed her to know he would never comply with her wants and needs. She did everything he wanted for him, like a spaniel following him around or a servant hasty to impress her new master. But he never returned the favor.
"Sakura-chan."
Sakura whipped her head towards the voice, and she rolled her eyes once she saw the blonde hair and the oceanic blue eyes. But instead of being bright and lively like they always were, they were dark and stormy. His mouth was taut, and Sakura's look turned from annoyance to concern.
"Naruto...?" she asked uncertainly.
"You know what I want, old man," Naruto said abruptly. His usual hyper voice was nowhere to be found, and slowly Sakura was getting more and more worried.
"Naruto, what's wrong?" Sakura asked him urgently, her annoyance at him completely forgotten replaced with a sliver of fear.
"Do you two need some time alone?" Ayame asked. She served Sakura and Naruto's orders. "We're closing for the day anyway, you guys can stay here as long as you like."
"Thanks Ayame, I appreciate it," Naruto said shortly.
Sakura grew increasingly alarmed. She didn't really want this; she had a really bad feeling about it. She could feel panic flooding her system, until thoughts of her love were completely vanquished from her mind. However, curiosity kept her feet rooted to the ground and sitting in her chair.
"Naruto, what's going on?" Her voice didn't sound like hers at all. It was as if Ino had conquered her body again. "What's wrong?"
"I need to talk to you," Naruto replied. "And I need you to listen."
"Um... all right." Sakura swung towards him. "What's wrong?"
"Sakura-chan..." Naruto lost his voice for a second before blurting out, "I'm really, really mad at you right now."
The pink haired girl was stunned silent. What did he just say?
"What?" she finally asked.
"I am. I don't want to be, and don't even get me started on how I wish I wasn't, but I am. I can't even put into words how pissed I am." Naruto's voice shook, but for the most part, it was stony.
Sakura stared down at her hands, trembling in shock. Naruto was always there for her... was he pulling out of it now?
"You are so selfish, Sakura-chan. So incredibly selfish. When Sasuke-teme left, it was all about you. You didn't stop to think how I would feel or how Kakashi-sensei would feel; you just were content to wallow in your own misery. And you're still doing it. It's disgusting."
Sakura started to protest, but Naruto cut her off. "Don't argue with me. You know it's true. But you know what's even worse? I was willing to see through it. I fought and fought to get Sasuke back, just to see you smile again. And when I failed, never once did I hear you say thank you. Not once. Even now, when I'm trying my hardest, I haven't heard it."
She looked down at her hands, struggling to keep the flow of tears in check. He was right... he was so right. She began to shake, and she looked up with a pathetic look in her features. She felt painfully vulnerable, as if someone ripped out her heart and placed it on a silver platter.
"Naruto..." Her voice was broken.
He wouldn't stop. "And you know what? I'm going through a tougher time than you are." Sakura snapped her head straight up, this time her eyes gleaming with rage. She opened her mouth to speak, but once again, Naruto cut her short. "I just lost my best friend, and I'm having the girl that means most to me constantly acting like I'm a nuisance and a menace to society. Well guess what, Sakura-chan." He banged his fist on the table. "You're a filthy hypocrite, because you're doing to me what Sasuke did to you. I want to hate you, Sakura-chan."
"What?" Sakura gasped, tears flowing down her face from Naruto's harsh words and hard expression. "W-what do you mean?"
"I want to hate you. I want to hate you so freaking bad. But I can't. I just can't, and it's tearing me apart. And you want to know why I can't?" Naruto hissed his last sentence in a whisper.
"Why?" she humored him, even though she felt she didn't want to know. "I don't get it... if you're so mad at me..." she broke off, looking down at her lap again. She watched the tears hit her shorts.
"Because I really, really care about you." Naruto slipped a couple of fingers under her chin and lifted her face so her emerald orbs locked with his sapphire ones. "You don't know how much."
"Why do you?" Sakura shrieked finally, pushing his arm away. "I'm a horrible, horrible person, I know! You've made that crystal clear, Naruto! What more do you want from me? I get it, I'm selfish. I'm self-centered. I get it, all right? Why do you care about me then, huh?"
"Because I love you, dammit!" Naruto screamed, standing up so abruptly that his chair fell over. "You never saw it, but it's true! Sure, Sasuke never wanted it, but at least he wasn't blind enough to see it! I love you, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it!"
Silence fell over the two. Sakura could feel the blood drain from her face as if it was a waterfall, a waterfall about to run out of water at the top. Shakingly, Naruto sat down, jerking his head in an almost childish manner to the side. She barely even noticed. The pink haired girl was overwhelmed by emotion. The pain of loss was already pushing her floodgates, but this... the floodgates sprang open, releasing all of her violent and unstable emotions. She finally snapped.
"I can't believe this," she murmured furiously, brushing a lock of bubble gum hair out of her face. "Absolutely can't believe this." Now it was her turn to be enraged. Anger was setting her heart on fire, and she jumped up on her feet.
"Why the heck would you love me?" she screamed in his face. It felt so, so good to scream those words. "I hate myself, okay? I hate myself! I'm weak, and I'm in love with your worst rival! I can't believe that you actually-"
"I don't understand it myself!" Naruto retorted, turning this into a full-fledged shouting match. Sakura's breathing jerked as well as his.
"What?"
"I don't get it either!" Naruto was advancing towards her, and she was unconsciously moving backwards. She only became aware of it as her back hit a wall, and Naruto put his hands on either side of her head. She looked side to side for a way out, but she found none. "You only show feelings about yourself! You're only training to get Sasuke back, you're using Baa-chan and Kakashi-sensei and just about everyone else, and generally, you're a pain in the ass to deal with! And that's coming from me!"
"I don't need to hear this," Sakura thought furiously. She tried to duck through Naruto's arm, but he pushed her back.
"But... you try." With this, he deflated. Naruto dropped his arms on either side of the emerald eyed girl's head and they hung limply by his side. But Sakura was frozen in one spot. "You don't give up. You and me... we're the same. We both want something so badly we'll do anything to get it. I guess... that's why."
"Naruto... I'm sorry," Sakura whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."
"Forget it," he mumbled, shifting a little. "Just... forget it."
Sakura watched helplessly as he ducked out of the curtain, and into the freezing hail. She didn't follow, only listened to the falling hail and the echoing footsteps.
She slid down the wall, shivering as the chills sank into her bones and through her flesh. The young kunoichi couldn't seem to keep warm, but it wasn't only from the cold of the hail. It was everything.
Why didn't she see it before?
Why didn't she see how much she was hurting him?
She curled up into a ball in her misery.
"Why did I end up hurting him when the one I love did the same thing to me?"
It seemed like her shivering would never cease. The cold was becoming frigid, and she peeked outside. The hail was only pouring harder and harder, but she couldn't even hear the pellets hitting the ground. The roaring in her head was similar to a crashing waterfall, and she felt like she was going insane.
Sakura buried her fingers in her pink hair and tugged down in frustration. What was she supposed to do?
----
Naruto was overwhelmed by confusion and strangely, guilt. His fists were clenched as he sat on the couch, his dark blue eyes unusually listless.
He didn't mean to go off on her like that. He meant every word he said, but it hurt her badly, he knew that. This was one huge vicious cycle. Sasuke hurt Sakura, Sakura hurt him…
And he ended up hurting the one he loved most.
He sighed as he buried his face in his sweaty palm, ignoring the uncomfortable wet feeling on his face. The pain was growing more and more and it felt like it would never die. He couldn't cry, for the flow of anguish was stopped by the crushing weight of guilt. Nothing seemed right to him. Sasuke would never make her happy, he knew he was right about that… but what was the point? She still loved him, and he couldn't stop her. If felt like his heart was locked deep inside and it would never ever be set free.
He started in surprise when knocking noises broke him out of his reverie.
"Naruto?" The weak voice gave him a soar of hope. He knew that voice, no matter how nasal sounding it was. It sounded like she had been crying for a long time. Naruto's heart sank at this, knowing it was completely his fault. He took the few agonizing strides and his hand mechanically slid open the door.
"It's your turn to listen," Sakura said in a deadly quiet voice. Naruto blinked, mesmerized by her beauty, although the beauty was harassed. Hailstones decorated her messy and ragged pink hair, and her emerald eyes were bloodshot from crying. The tear paths were still etched in her face.
"Can you come in first? I don't want you getting pelted by more hail than you have to," Naruto said quietly.
Sakura hesitated. "Oh all right, but only for a minute."
She stepped into his comfortable abode; well, comfortable compared to the vengeance the hail offered her. She sat down on the arm of Naruto's dark brown couch.
"I'm going to make this quick, and relatively painless," Sakura began, her eyes flashing in defiance. Naruto, never taking his eyes off her, walked to the couch and sat down right next to her. "I know you love me. You've made that clear. And I also know that I'm self-centered. But right now, this is all I can do."
"What do you mean?" Naruto whispered.
Sakura inched herself closer and closer until her warm breath lingered on his mouth. "I need you to wait. I'm sorry, but I still love Sasuke. I'll try everyday to get over him instead of training to get him back, but for now, I need you to wait."
Naruto was silent for a long, long time. Finally he closed the little distance between them and kissed her for one short second before standing up and turning away from her. He could feel her emerald eyes boring into his back before turning his head to the side to look at her.
"Most people should say no to that," he said at last. There was no need to say more than that, and Sakura apparently got that. Her eyes were glittering with an emotion Naruto couldn't read.
"But I can't," Naruto finished heavily. "So I'll wait. Eventually you'll break me. You'll probably even kill me. But, for some sick and twisted reason, I don't care."
Ya see that review button? Click it. If you want to flame me, fine. If you want to give me feedback, great. Anything is appreciated.