Not Ever!

Prompt: #018 Regret // #000 A first time

Notes: Written for fanfic50and sp23.

"Sheppard," Rodney hissed, leaning in close to his friend. "Since it's likely that we're going to die here and I don't want to die with any regrets, which I will if I don't ask this, do you think you could maybe, I dunno…" he faded out and began to pick absently at the edges of his jacket.

John glanced over, took in the look on his face and offered a weak smile. "Calm down, McKay," he whispered back. "We're not gonna die. The others will get us out of here and we'll be fine."

"…do you think you could kiss me?" Rodney finally finished his request, ignoring John completely. He kept his head down to avoid looking into his friends' eyes and bit down on his lower lip, flushing a deep crimson that was hard to miss even in the limited light they had available.

John's mouth dropped open, eyes widening. "Do I think I could WHAT!?" he exclaimed, backing up a few steps. "Are you feeling alright, McKay?"

Rodney glared at him. "Apart from the fact that I'm about to die, yes, I'm fine!" he retorted. "I just thought that it might be nice to indulge ourselves in one last kiss before those things suck the life out of us!"

He crossed his arms in front of his chest defiantly and lifted his eyes from the ground to meet John's. "And seeing as there are no…women, and we're the only ones here…" he dropped off and let John do the math.

John stared at him in shock for a long moment and blinked a few times in disbelief. "Indulge ourselves? Are you serious!?" he finally gasped out. "McKay!"

Rodney didn't answer and instead pounced on the startled military leader, wrapping his arms around him – one hand on the small of his back and the other behind his neck, pulling him close until their lips mashed together violently.

John fought it for about five seconds before relenting and responding with as much urgency as was being pushed his way. It wasn't the best kiss ever. It was far from it, actually – it was sloppy and awkward and desperate. But it was something.

Some time later they broke away gasping and each took a minute to catch their breaths as it all sunk in. Clothing was readjusted and direct eye contact was avoided as much as possible.

"Never again," John finally said weakly, as a rush of emotions ran through him.

Rodney nodded his agreement, equally unsettled. "Not ever!"