Chapter 1: Realisations and Confrontations

"So, what are you thinking?"

Peyton sat next to him on the bed wishing she was anywhere but there, but also not wanting to be anywhere else in the world. She thought back on what Jake said. She slowly began to realise he was right. She denied it for so long, trying to believe it was Jake. That was her easy way out.

She suddenly woke from her thoughts to see his beautiful baby blue eyes looking at her.

"Oh I was just thinking how I never want to go home again", she smiled.

"I love you, you know that?"

She stopped as all her thoughts flew out the window. It was like time stood still. She had wanted to hear him say those words for so long if she was being honest and now that he had, it killed her. She hated hearing those words knowing he was only acting. She would never get the chance for him to say those words to her and mean them. The worst part was it was all her fault. Those precious moments they had together came rushing through he mind. It suddenly hit her. It was always him. It never went away. She was just hiding. If only she hadn't run that night at the party, if only they were honest with Brooke. If only Brooke hadn't got in the way. If only!

But now it was all too late.

"Hey I love you, you know that?" he said again as he grazed his hand gently over hers, trying to gain her attention. He could see the tears forming in her eyes.

His touch immediately brought her back to reality, the reality where he was in love and happy with Brooke. She wasn't going there again. She wouldn't do that to Brooke… or to him. "I love you too", she sighed as she closed her eyes. She realised she had never meant anything so much in her entire life. If only he knew. The worst part was as the curtains closed on their performance, Peyton closed her mind off to having any chance with Lucas.

They stayed there for a few minutes not moving. Peyton eyes fixed straight ahead, as Lucas' eyes never left her. He knew something was up. He could read her so well. At least he used to. Lately she seemed distant, but yet so was he. That day in the library had changed both their lives forever.

"Hey what's going on?" he asked as he took her hand in his.

She turned at his touch and quickly took her hand away. That's definitely not a good idea. She needed to avoid him, go nowhere near him, and not touch him, she decided.

"It's nothing Luc, I'm fine. It's just my legs hurting", she lied as turned to get off the prop bed simply to avoid those famous eyes that could read her so well.

Lucas knew there was something up but knew there was no point in pushing Peyton. It would only push her further away and that's the last thing he wanted. Since that day, being with her was one of the few things he found comfort in. She was there that day, she knew what happened, she knew how it felt to loose someone you love. He turned and left by the other side of the stage and went towards his friends.

Peyton on the other hand just sat backstage and tried to avoid people, or two people to be exact. It had been a long weekend, a long few weeks really and she was tired, tired of all the drama and pain that had become a constant in her life. So she tried to hide in the back, hide from it all. And hide from the only two people that used to be able to help her through it. They were who she was really hiding from. She just sat and continued to wipe away the never-ending tears.

However her plan didn't work to well.

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"Hey buddy what's wrong?" Brooke asked as she sat down bedside her.

Damn my luck! Peyton thought to herself. This was it. She was determined not to lie to her friend. She knew Brooke wouldn't be happy but at least she wasn't lying this time. That had to count for something, right? Plus she wasn't going to do anything about it. She sighed and prepared for the worst.

"Brooke I think I still have feelings for Lucas", she blurted out with her eyes closed, fearing the consequences.

"What?" Brooke almost screamed, causing a startled Peyton to look at her.

"Brooke, I'm sorry" she said genuinely.

"Please say you like him as a friend?" she asked as she unconsciously backed away to the other side of the bed.

Peyton shook her head hoping not to have to say it out loud but Brooke's expression told otherwise. "No it's more than that, a lot more", she cried, knowing she was about to loose her best friend.

"How could you?" she screamed.

"Brooke I never meant to hurt you. I'm not going to do anything about it."

"Damn right you're not. Stay the hell away from me and my boyfriend!" she shouted and stormed off to the bar.

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Later that night Lucas lay awake, tossing and turning. Sure Brooke had been funny the rest of the night, but he just put that down to her being mad at him being away and not calling her. That he could handle. No what he couldn't stop thinking about was Peyton. What was going on with her? Why was she so upset? He made a promise to himself that he would find out. Suddenly his mind felt at ease and he was finally able to get some rest.