It had been four weeks since John Paul had last seen Craig. Four weeks since he walked in on the man he loved, the man he trusted, in the arms of his ex.

After two weeks Craig had stopped calling.

After three weeks he stopped texting.

John Paul hadn't answered his calls and his texts had been deleted unread. There was nothing that Craig could say to make this better. There was nothing that anyone could say to make the pain go away.

It had been four weeks and the pain was just as sharp as it had been the second he first laid eyes on the scene in Craig's bedroom.

John Paul had returned home that day a broken man.

Myra never asked him what had happened; instead she held her son tightly into the small hours of the night as he wept in her arms. She held onto her only son feeling completely helpless as she listened to the sound of his heart breaking.

For four weeks John Paul had walked around numb, functioning on autopilot and trying not to think in case a memory of Craig would come to assault his mind.

Several times John Paul had dialled Spike's number only to hang up before it connected. He was the last person John Paul deserved any comfort from but he knew that Spike would have offered it anyway and John Paul had no right to accept.

Four weeks and three days after having his heart broken John Paul called Craig's mobile. He didn't know what made that moment the one that told him to make contact again but something deep inside told him that if he didn't call today it would be too late.

But Craig's phone didn't ring; instead John Paul heard a recorded voice telling him that his call could not be connected.

John Paul hung up with an annoyed sigh.

After a few minutes John Paul dialled the number of the flat above the Dog.

It rang several times before a female voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Is Craig there?" John Paul's voice shook as he said the name for the first time in weeks.

"Is that you John Paul?" Steph asked.

"Yeah… is he there?"

"No you've just missed him."

"Oh," John Paul couldn't help the feeling of disappointment; despite everything he had been looking forward to hearing Craig's voice again, "D'you know what time he'll be back?"

There was a pause and John Paul could hear Steph breathing on the other end of the phone.

Finally she spoke again.

"He's not coming back."

John Paul felt his legs give way beneath him and it was only the presence of his bed behind him that kept him from falling to the floor.

"What d'you mean not… where's he gone?"

"I'm sorry John Paul, I thought he was gonna let you know. He's going to Ireland."

John Paul shook his head; none of this was making any sense. Of course he knew that Craig had planned to move to Ireland if he got into Trinity, but not yet.

"It's too soon," John Paul said more to himself than to Steph.

"I know," Steph agreed, "But he wanted to go… and when he made up his mind there was no stopping him. He's found himself a place to stay and a part time job. He's all set for when he gets in at Trinity… IF he gets in."

"I'm too late then…" John Paul felt defeated.

"Well actually," Steph thought for a moment, "He's getting the train to Liverpool and it's not due for 20 minutes… he should still be at the station if you…"

John Paul hung up on Steph before she had even finished talking quickly dialling the number of a taxi before rushing outside to wait impatiently for it.

John Paul felt like he was waiting hours for the cab to arrive but in truth it was there in moments.

Jumping into the back seat John Paul breathlessly asked the driver to take him to Chester station.

"You look like it's a matter of life or death," the driver joked observing John Paul's face in his rear view mirror.

"It might just be," John Paul admitted.

"Girlfriend about to leave?"

"Something like that."

"Well I hope I get you there in time."

The streets of Chester went past in a blur as John Paul fidgeted nervously on the back seat nearly yelling for joy as he saw the entrance to the station come into view.

Stuffing money into the drivers hand John Paul leapt from the car.

"Good luck," the cabbie called after him.

John Paul scoured the departure board until he found the one for Liverpool, looking at his watch he calculated that he had just over 10 minutes before it was due to leave. He just hoped that would be long enough.

Racing to the platform the departure board had listed John Paul's eyes found a familiar figure standing waiting as the train pulled in before him.

Running as fast as he could manage John Paul called out Craig's name.

Craig stopped with one foot on the edge of the train's doorway. He could have sworn that he just heard John Paul's voice. He shook his head with a self-conscious laugh; it must have been nothing more than wishful thinking.

"CRAIG."

This time the voice was louder, closer and Craig was sure he hadn't just imagined it.

Turning around slowly Craig saw John Paul racing the length of the platform towards him.

"I thought I was gonna miss you," John Paul panted as he came to a stop in front of Craig.

"How did you…?" Craig couldn't quite believe that John Paul was really there.

"Steph… I called your place and she told me."

"You called?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

The two men stood staring at each other, there was so much they wanted to say but neither knew where to begin.

Looking at Craig again John Paul felt the familiar surge of love filling his chest, leaving no room for the hurt that had been living there for so long.

"I'm so sorry John Paul… I should never have…" Craig's soft brown eyes were filled with sorrow and regret.

"I know," John Paul told him, "I understand."

"I know you can't forgive me…"

John Paul shook his head. "I already have," he said surprising himself at the truth in his words.

"I thought that loving you was going to be the one thing I would be good at… but I managed to mess that up pretty quick."

"What we had… I wouldn't give it up for anything," John Paul told him with a half smile.

"You know I have to leave?"

"I know."

Craig ran his hand over John Paul's shoulder and down his arm feeling the solid flesh beneath his fingers.

"D'you think we ever really stood a chance?" he asked as he looked into the clear blue pools of John Paul's eyes.

John Paul shook his head, "Too much was against us from the start. I don't think either of us were ready for it"

"It's just… I don't want you to think… it's not because I don't love you."

"I'll never forget you Craig Dean."

"You'd better not," Craig joked allowing a smile to touch his lips.

John Paul took a deep breath he knew the train would be leaving soon and that Craig would be on it.

"We're you going to tell me? That you were going?"

Craig fished an envelope from his pocket and John Paul saw his name and address in Craig's familiar handwriting.

"I was gonna post this from Ireland, but you might as well take it now."

John Paul took the envelope and gripped it tightly.

Craig looked back at the train knowing it was time to board but desperate to have every last second with John Paul that he could manage.

"Go on," John Paul told him, "They won't wait for you."

Craig nodded sadly before throwing his bag through the opened doorway.

Before following his luggage on to the train Craig turned back for one last time and pulled John Paul into his arms.

"I love you," he whispered into John Paul's ear before kissing him one last time.

"I love you too," John Paul replied as Craig disappeared through the doorway.

John Paul stood on the platform as the train pulled away taking the man he loved out of his life.

After a moment he turned his attention to the letter still tightly grasped in his hand. Tearing at the envelope John Paul pulled out the sheet of paper and read Craig's final goodbye.

"Dear John Paul

I don't even know if you'll read this but I had to at least try. I'm leaving Chester. I will have left by the time you read this. I was always going to move to Ireland if I got into Trinity so I've just brought it forward a few months – in the hope that I will get in.

I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I did to you and I don't expect you to forgive me either.

I'll always love you John Paul and I'll keep the memory of you with me always.

I hope that one day you'll be able to think of me and smile and not just remember what I did to break us apart.

I won't try to contact you again, I think it's for the best. I've got a new phone and I'm not taking anyones number with me. I have to make a clean break I hope you understand.

Goodbye John Paul and thank you for loving me. I'm sorry I let you down.

Craig"

John Paul saw a drop of liquid land near Craig's name and it took him a moment to realise it was a tear.

He looked up to where the train had been but it was now far from view.

"Goodbye Craig," he whispered as he folded the letter back into the envelope and put it in his pocket.

With a sigh John Paul turned to make his slow journey back home.

It was time to carry on with the rest of his life… without Craig.