A Little Thing Called Love

Chapter One: Orders

I'm sick and damn tired of searching! I've looked everywhere for this pairing, and I can't find it! So therefore… I'm writing it! Yes! And no rape. Sorry, for those of you who like this pairing as rape…

RATING: PG-13 for language and themes

GENRE(S): Romance

ORIGINAL CHARACTERS: None

OUT OF CHARACTERNESS: Obviously

PAIRINGS: Roy/Archer, one-sided Riza/Roy, one-sided Kimbley/Archer.

SUMMARY: King Bradley is having doubts about Colonel Roy Mustang. Suspicious of him, he decides to have one of his more trusted Colonels to keep an eye on Mustang. But not everything is as it appears between them…

There you go! And yes, I am aware that this pairing isn't supported by pretty much anyone. And I am aware that I will get horribly bashed by the Royai supporters. And I'll get bashed by pretty much everyone. All I can say is, BRING IT ON!

The newly-promoted Colonel Frank Archer stood staring out the window of his office, looking down onto the shooting range. His searing blue eyes were fixed on a particular blonde woman by the name of Hawkeye. But he wasn't interested in her, he was interested in her superior, Colonel Roy Mustang. It was strange, he'd received a message early that morning from the President's secretary Douglass. A scribbled note that was completely unofficial, but held promise.

Keep an eye on Colonel Mustang for me. I'm not sure I can trust him.

That was all it said. But it was clearly in the Fuhrer's handwriting. Below that scribbled line was a very simple note attached, in Douglass' handwriting;

Obeying will result in promotion.

Brigadier General Frank Archer. He liked the sound of it. He'd been serving the military loyally for years and it was about time he started moving up the ranks. His most recent promotion to Colonel had been an unexpected delight; but he wasn't certain just why he was given it. The Fuhrer's official statement had been purposefully vague. Nevertheless, Archer wasn't going to disobey orders, even when they weren't official.

His emotionless expression changed, a small smirk replacing the apathetic stare. Mustang had just arrived. "Second Lieutenant Shire, inform Colonel Mustang that I would like a word with him." Archer nodded to the man who had just barely entered the room. At least his subordinates were completely loyal, perhaps even afraid of him.

--

"Nice shot, First Lieutenant Hawkeye." Roy nodded at the bullet lodged dead center in the target. He had come to check up on her, and slack on his paperwork of course.

"Thank you, sir." She replied, keeping her gaze on the target. Her next shot missed horribly, hitting the red outer ring. He was making her nervous, hovering so close to her. It was no secret that she loved him more than she should. She'd do anything to protect him, and that's what was causing the nervousness. "Sir… if you don't mind—"

She was abruptly cut off by Second Lieutenant Shire, a small frail man with brown hair and black eyes. "Colonel Mustang, sir!" He saluted to the Colonel and then stated, "Colonel Archer would like a word with you in his office, sir."

Roy frowned slightly. Archer was a Colonel now? The two never had much contact before, so why would he want to speak with him? Well, there was the fact that Archer was now in charge of the Investigations branch, in the late Maes Hughes' position. "Right. Thank you. Dismissed." He saluted back, watching the man scurry back off.

"You plan on going there, sir?" Riza asked, shooting again and this time barely missing center. At least she was more focused.

"Of course." Was that concern in her voice? "Why do you ask?"

Riza was glad she wasn't facing him or he would have seen her blush. "Just curious, sir."

Roy nodded slightly before giving her a small wave goodbye. He exited the shooting range and climbed up the stairs leading up towards Archer's office. He reached the front, nodding to the secretary and Shire before knocking on Archer's door.

"It's open." The cold voice echoed from within.

With a small shrug, Roy opened the door and stepped into the organized room. Nothing like his own office, which was always flooded with paperwork. "Good morning, Colonel." He nodded to Archer as the other stood.

"Same to you." The emotionless expression on Archer's face unnerved Roy to no end. "Take a seat. I just want to have a word with you."

He sat down in the chair across from Archer, watching the other move several papers out of the way. He didn't speak at first, waiting for the other to continue.

Archer laced his fingers together and leaned his chin on them, watching Roy apathetically. "Have you heard rumors about a group of soldiers planning to overthrow the Fuhrer?" The question was quietly asked, not wanting to be overheard.

"No." It wasn't a complete lie, Roy hadn't heard of anyone planning to overthrow Bradley. He just wanted the other's job. Even so, it was odd how Archer would ask him something like this. Especially when they had barely exchanged words before.

"Hmm." Archer glanced at one particular paper on his desk before looking back at Roy. "I see." After a few more seconds of awkward silence he started again, "If you hear of any dissenters, let me know."

Roy stood quickly, recognizing that as the signal to leave. "I'll keep my eyes open." Archer was acting like he was superior! He'd just been promoted! That annoyed Roy, but he wasn't going to comment on it. With that, he left the room, shaking his head. What a strange meeting. What was the point of that?

--

Archer was still smirking as he left the office. Roy was too easy to read, the Fuhrer had right to be worried. Roy was clearly planning on taking the position himself. But without any hard evidence, Archer wouldn't get that promotion. He'd need something that proved it. But what? Roy wouldn't be stupid enough to leave anything in his office, and even if he did, Archer certainly wouldn't be able to find it. He probably used alchemic locks on the desk drawers or something. He nodded to his subordinates before walking out the door and into the cool night air. At least he had a good idea of what he was getting himself into.

It was as he was passing by that bar that something unexpected happened. A loud crash and several gunshots rang out, causing him to turn to the distraction. "And stay out!" A burley man tossed someone out into the street. Archer shook his head. Just the usual. He was more jumpy than usual.

"He-y, Frank!"

Archer stiffened. That voice… it couldn't be!

"Didja mi-iss me?" Roy slurred, picking himself up off the ground and leaning on the shorter man's shoulder.

"Colonel Mustang, unhand me." Archer stated flatly. How disgusting, he'd gone and gotten himself completely drunk. What an idiot.

Roy mumbled something incoherent and tried to stand up straight, eventually almost tipping over.

Sighing, Archer reached out and grabbed the other's hand. "This is pathetic. Come on, I'll take you home." It was embarrassing to be seen like this, he knew from experience. It was something he'd never do again, but apparently Roy never learned. He'd heard rumors about Roy's drinking habits. Shame they were true. "Which way is your house?"

"I dun'no…" He mumbled, leaning heavily against Archer, blinking rapidly to keep himself awake.

With another frustrated sigh, Archer started back in the direction of his own home. "Fine. I'll take you to my place." This was insane! Why was he even bothering to help Mustang? He was defying the Fuhrer! Well, none of Mustang's subordinates were around, and he couldn't just leave the Flame Alchemist lying there in the road. Despite his cold outer exterior, Archer couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt at even the thought of not helping Roy.

They finally reached Archer's apartment. He opened the door and led the Flame Alchemist inside, pointing to the couch. "You'll sleep there tonight. I don't want to hear it when you wake up tomorrow with the biggest headache of your life. Just… go to sleep." He shook his head and walked into his bedroom, shutting the door. He didn't want Roy sneaking in on him. That would be humiliating. No, it would be disgusting. Right. That was the word he was looking for. Shaking his head, he picked up the loose t-shirt and sweatpants he usually wore to bed and walked into the bathroom, locking the door.

It never took him very long to shower and get changed, but apparently that's all the time it took for Roy to enter his room. He sighed again, frowning at the alchemist. "What do you want now?"

"It-t's lo-o-nely in th're." He slurred, swaying.

Lonely? Archer was tempted to laugh. Roy knew nothing about being lonely. But he wasn't going to start on that subject. "Well then, what do you propose?"

Roy didn't answer, but instead collapsed onto one side of Archer's bed, lying on top of the covers instead of under them. He yawned slightly and looked up at Archer with a look bordering on pleading.

Archer froze. This wasn't at all what he had expected. Roy Mustang—Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist—was sitting on his bed, wanting to sleep with him. Hopefully not anything else. "You're going to wake up and hate me." He stated flatly. Even so, he couldn't control the surprised look that had taken over his usual apathetic stare. Why was he giving in? He shouldn't care at all what Mustang wanted! "Fine." Why the hell did he just say that?! It was like he wasn't in control any more, at least the rational part of his mind. He sat on the other side of the bed, pulling the covers up and slipping in under them. "Good night, Roy." It was the first time he'd called another officer by first name. It felt so odd. He rolled over so that his back was to Roy. At least that felt a little bit more comfortable.

But Roy wasn't happy. Archer still wasn't close enough to him. He rolled over as well, circling his arms around the other's waist. He mumbled something as he scooted closer, leaning his head against Archer's.

He froze again. This was just too weird. Disgusting! Yes, he meant that. He tried to struggle out of Roy's arms, but the alchemist was stronger. And asleep. "Already?" He asked, growling slightly. So he wasn't going to escape Roy Mustang's grasp. Fine. He'd just try to sleep anyway. And when morning came… It would be one really awkward situation. He found himself leaning back against Roy's chest and drifting off to sleep.

There you have it, chapter one. Up next is obviously chapter two. You'll have to review if you want more fluffy sugary goodness. D