Epilogue:

With Gondor no longer in danger of fire the assorted heroes of Middle Earth who had gathered in the city of Minas Tirith were all sitting in a large dining room. They were munching on leftovers from the party while they wearily planed their long trips home and away from the most recent outbreak of insanity. Aragorn and Arwen were seriously discussing plans to take a vacation. Other then a few whispered conversations the room was quiet.

"Well," Pippin sighed, "it's that time again."

He was sitting at a table with Frodo, Sam, and Merry. Their table had the biggest pile of food on it by far. The hobbits looked up from their food at Pippin's words.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked. "What time is it?"

"It's the time when all the madness has died down, (for now), and we are all left to contemplate what has occurred, what we have learned, and what mistakes led us to this messed up life," Pippin answered with a world weary sigh. "Sometimes we also talk to a shrink."

"Wow," Frodo said. The expressions on Sam and Merry's faces echoed this sentiment. "I never thought about it like that, but he is right."

"Hmm," Sam thought for a minute. "What happened was… bad. I have learned that there is no such thing as a buffet to honor the Many Meals Of The Day. Mistakes… Well, I would say that I made the mistake of not being quiet enough while I eavesdropped. That was really the mistake which set me on this path of horror and bad writing."

"I made the mistake of not skipping Elrond's Council and just sleeping in," Frodo said bitterly. "I could have been well rested, AND avoided every bad thing that happened to me from that moment on."

"But what if Sauron had won?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Frodo said thoughtfully, "he didn't seem like that bad of a guy. For one thing I don't think he ever wrote any bad fanfiction, and when he killed you he left you nice and sane." The other three hobbits exchanged worried looks, which Frodo ignored. "How about you two," he asked Merry and Pippin, "what mistakes have you made?"

"Oh we've never made a mistake," Merry answered right away.

"It is true," Pippin nodded.

"What about threw those rocks into the lake and woke up a certain giant angry sea monster?" Sam asked. "Or about five minutes later when you alerted the whole evil army where we were?"

"And that time that you looked into the Palantir and just about told Sauron what the secret plan was?" Frodo added.

"They got you there Pip," Merry laughed. "I guess I am the only hobbit here who never blundered once."

"That is not true," Frodo said shaking his head, "it can't be true."

"He's made lots of mistakes," Pippin nodded, "people only focus on mine because I am the more dynamic and interesting one."

"Name one mistake that I made," Merry challenged Pippin.

"It was your idea to send Legolas those dreadful Mary Sue fanfics," Pippin answered immediately. "You know, the ones that drove him insane, and by extension drove the rest of us insane."

"You did what?" Frodo and Sam cried together.

"That was a secret," Merry growled, "we swore a blood oath after we escaped from the library in Rivendell."

"I don't think there was any blood," Pippin corrected him, "I think we swore the oath over a bowl of mushrooms."

"Breaking a mushroom oath is even worse then breaking a blood oath!" Merry shouted.

"Did I just hear you say," Gimli said loudly from the next table over, "that you introduced Legolas to fanfiction?"

"Pippin helped," Merry defended himself desperately, "he thought is was a good idea. He helped me pick out the worst stories. He even licked the stamp!"

All around them the heroes of Middle Earth were standing up and forming a circle around Merry and Pippin. They looked less heroic and more homicidal.

"That's strange," Pippin said looking around at the angry faces, "usually the person who gets beat up at this point is whoever went insane most recently."

"I think you've talked enough for today," Merry growled.

Author's Note:

Thank you so much to everyone who reads this story, and especially to everyone who takes the time to write a review and let me know what you think, (hint- please review!). I always have a blast writing these stories, and always wish I had time to write more. In the past two years since graduating and starting to work I just haven't had the time.

Still, these stories float around in my head and I hope that I will get back in the habit of writing. I just finished an outline for a new story- Things As They Should Be: There And Insane Again. I don't know when I'll start posting the story, (it could be a bit of a wait knowing me), but I'm including a preview of the first chapter and hope that anyone who is interested will send me suggestions for the story. I haven't decided for sure who will be listening to the story, so if anyone has characters they want me to include let me know and I'll try to find a good place for them.

Chapter #1:

Gloin strolled through the old mine tunnel, studying it with a trained eye. Nothing was more relaxing to Gloin then a stroll through a mine, there was nothing like it in Middle Earth. He was followed by another dwarf.

"I have been thinking seriously," he said to the other dwarf, "about what I will give my son Gimli for his upcoming birthday."

"Perhaps a new helmet," the other dwarf suggested.

"No," Gloin sighed, "I always give him something along those lines. No, this year I want to get him something different. Something that will really surprise him. Besides, I got him a new helmet last year. It was to replace his old one, which he had somehow dented during that party for Bilbo's nephew he went to."

"Oh yes," the other dwarf nodded, "I remember now. It's funny, Gimli refused to say how he managed to dent his helmet. But it must have been a pretty spectacular party, after all he did not return home for several months."

"That is a brilliant idea," Gloin exclaimed.

"Huh?" the other dwarf looked around at the dwarf lord.

"I shall throw Gimli a surprise party," Gloin explained, "and invite all of his friends. After all, he clearly enjoys all of his gatherings with them. He has been to Gondor twice, and of course that one party he went to in that elvish place thrown by that one elf who is always following him around. We can show them all how much better a party is when it's thrown by a dwarf, and not some prissy elf."

"It sounds wonderful," the other dwarf agreed, "Gimli is sure to be pleased with it."

The preparations began right away, keeping the whole thing a secret from his son. It took Gloin two weeks to find people to deliver the invitations. Finding volunteers to go deliver invitations to all the regular dwarvish places was no problem, or even to go to the Shire, Gondor and Rohan. But many dwarves balked at the idea of going to Mirkwood, Rivendell, and Lothlorien. It also proved difficult to convince any dwarves to deliver a message to the Undying Lands. But finally all the invitations were sent out.

Gloin was pleased by how nicely the party was shaping up. He was sure that Gimli would have a good birthday, and that all of the guests would as well.

But, much like someone about to take a swig of milk that has gone bad or who digs just a smidge too deep and runs into a Balrog, Gloin was unaware of the terror that was in store for him. Having heard so few details about all of the friendly get togethers that Gimli had gone to, Gloin had no idea how very wrong a simple thing like a party could go.

Because, completely unknown to Gloin, one person who had been invited to the party was truly and deeply insane. That special sort of insanity that is accompanied…

…by fanfiction.