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Type: introspective ficlet(?) [Ran's POV]
Rating: G
Spoiler: "Aya-chan? Who's Aya-chan?" you ask.
Disclaimer: Weiß kreuz is owned by Takehito Koyasu-san & company.
Completed: Jul. 06, 2001
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T w o A y a s
by Purple


In her silence, I watch her. Looking wistfully at the one whom I know is looking after me. To the one who can drive me to insanity of the blind-rage kind and to crippling revenge. And yet, amazingly, she makes sense of it all. My battles are for her. I fight only for her. And at times I would fall, but I would always get back up...because of her.

In her silence, I talk to her. Whispering moments away inside a room where time seem to have stopped. And where hardened tears finally fall. I hide nothing from her. She knows all my secrets and all my woes, all my news and all my rare joys. She listens to me. She hears me.

In her silence, I am missing her.

In my silence, she touches me. Through my cold, pale skin and my burning, wary heart she reaches in to _me_; deep inside where no one else could nor dared. Taking me back to that time I have forgotten, to that boy I have lost. Remembering and finding even for a moment...It scares me, and yet, soothes me.

In my silence, she understands me. Maybe because I let her. Or maybe because she just does. Either way, she eases my silent pain. She sees through me during wordless moments -- moments when everything is said by presence and touch. Moments when words overwhelm me like she overwhelms me.

In my silence, she loves me...in spite of.

In our silence, I take her hand in mine. Holding her not because she needs to be held but because I need someone to hold on to. Someone to remind me that human touch can also heal and not harm. That it is also capable of alleviating pain, and not inflicting it. Unlike mine. And I know I should let her go because it is unfair to her. But I can't. I _can't_! I cannot be without her. She is my strength. She is my weakness. She is my breath.

In our silence, I close my eyes. Wishing that this was all just a terrible dream. That I would wake up one day and she would be there smiling at me. She would _be there_ -- all of her, all of me. I am forever lost until she finds me. Until I hear her call my name, I am forever incomplete. Merely existing, not at all living.

And in our silence sometimes it seems, between the two of us, the wrong Aya is in that hospital bed.


~Owari~




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