Hello everyone! I should be updating my stories but I've been wanting to write a oneshot like this for a while now and have been working on it on and off. It's AU BL but if you are looking for a happy ending don't read it. But, if you read my stuff you know happy doesn't work well with me anyway haha. The flashback is heavily influenced by 'They Way We Get By' by Spoon( I didn't get to use my favorite lyrics from the song but oh well lol) and the over all story is influenced by 'Can't Break her Fall' by Mat Kearney. Both AMAZING songs. I'm rating the story T alhough I guess it is borderline M. If you are uncomfortable reading anything above T then this story might not be for you. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Anyway, I've rambled long enough. Please review and enjoy!

He was so tired of this. Going over to her apartment never knowing how she'd be behind the door. Would it be the sweet normal girl he'd come to love? Would it be the mysterious cheerleader that drew him to her? Or would it be the girl he used to think was so sexy, the one that introduced him to a whole new world?

He opened the door slowly, his eyes fixating on the crack on the door. He hated the memory as to how that crack got there. It had been during one of their many fights. He wanted her to stop, or at last cut back and she then preceded to bitch and scream. She shouted that he wasn't her father and then preceded to throw the empty bottle that was in her hand at his head. He had ducked his head just in time, thanking god he wasn't the door.

He scanned the small room, grateful that she wasn't passed out on the ground. He then heard the bathroom door open, his beautiful girlfriend stepping out of the steam filled room, a small white towel wrapped around her insanely petite body. She smiled up at him, a cheery 'hi' escaping her lips.

For a second, he thought she was the girl he'd come to love. But, as he got closer he knew it wasn't. He could tell by her eyes that it was the girl he never wanted to see again, the one that he saw the most.

"You said you were going to stop," he said sternly, grabbing her wrists to prevent her from hugging him. He took a step back, letting her hands fall down to her sides. "You promised."

He knew she'd get mad at him for saying this. She never liked anyone telling her what to do, especially when it came to this. She rolled her eyes, tightening the towel around her body. "You used to be fun." Ever since he stopped, he'd been doing everything under the sun to get her to quit too. He always acted like he was so much better because of it too. Well fuck him. He'd done it once upon a time too.

She light up the joint, taking a hit and holding the smoke in, the smoke making the back of her throat warm and itchy. She passed it over to him as she exhaled slowly, a smile forming on her face. They had just broke into one of her friend's friend's mobile home in order to get the pot seeing as her dealer was currently out of town.

She watched as he exhaled, his blonde hair messy and his gray T-shirt dirty. She was the one who had lead him into this life. Before he met her, he was a book worm, never going out, choosing to stay at home and read. Then, she walked into his life wearing a short skirt, thigh high boots, and a halter top and he'd completely fallen for her. She leaned over and scratched the back of his neck, kissing his cheek lightly, reaching her hand up to take the joint from his mouth as he took his second hit.

When the joint had become a blunt, she pinched the ends together and placed it back into the plastic baggy along with the papers and her lighter. When she was done, she straddled me in the back seat of her car, her pupils dilated, her shirt already half way off.

He was on top of her and her hands were in his hair by the time that 'Some Weird Sin' began to play on the radio. It was on a station neither cared for but during their highs, they always appreciated music a lot more. They fell asleep afterwards, the clock on her dash reading 11:57.

He woke up later with a dry mouth, the light on the dash now blinking 2:29. She yawned as she woke up, stretching her arms around his neck. "I'm hungry." He nodded and they put back on their clothes before making their way into the front of the car.

"What do you want," he asked as he looked over at her.

"Tacos," she replied licking her lips as she did so. He knew he should have gone home right then, instead of stopping at Taco Bell to fix his girlfriend's munchies, but he figured there was no point. He'd been coming home late ever since he fell under Brooke's spell. His mom would always get on his ass about it, grounding him and such but at the end of the day it didn't matter because Brooke always managed to end up in his bed.

The next day she showed up at his house with donuts, already talking to his mother and apologizing about how late Lucas got home last night. She sweet talked like a cop, his mother already believing every word of his girlfriend's lie. Once again, she saved him from two weeks of full lock down grounding. She walked into the house, his mother returning to the kitchen with the box of donuts. She smiled up at him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"And you thought I really wanted to walk to your house for fun," she whispered into his ear. He realized now that she had had this lie already formed in her head last night. He smiled at his wickedly brilliant girlfriend, placing a quick peck on her lips. He was glad he'd given in and parked her car at her house last night, walking to his own, hand in hand with her.

"You should call Keith to go and tow the car," his mother called from the kitchen. The brunette in his arms broke into a fit of giggles, loving the fact that Karen fell for the lie so quickly.

"Crazy girl." He slung an arm over her shoulder as they walked into the kitchen.

She sometimes felt like she loved him a lot more back then.

"I still am. You just have a different definition of fun."

"I don't need a fucking lecture from someone I introduced the shit to." He sighed. When he reached college he'd stopped, claiming that it was immature and that he needed to get his shit together. That was right about when her addiction kicked in.

She needed to cool down and he needed to leave before another bottle was thrown at his head.

"I'll be back later." And he would. Every time he went there, he'd swear that if she was high, he'd leave. Maybe if he got the balls to do that, she'd quit. But he loved her too god damn much to leave her alone.

When the door slammed shut, she turned back around and walked back into the bathroom. Everyday he was getting closer and closer to breaking, she knew that. She knew from past experiences that love was never enough. If it was then maybe her parents would still be around. She threw her towel down to the ground and stepped into the shower once again turning the water to the highest it could go.

She grabbed the bar of peach scented soap and started to scrub her body as she came down from her high. Maybe if she scrubbed hard enough she could wash away her addiction and go back to the bubbly cheerleader she was during her sophomore year of high school. Maybe if she scrubbed hard enough, she could love Lucas like she used to and love would be enough.

She dropped the soap and then fell down to her knees. Her shoulders shook with each sob, her face now soaked with tears. She chocked on a sob, everything she had been keeping in finally pouring out. She needed to quit.

She should have flushed her stash but she didn't. Instead, she left it where she always left it. There were three rolled joints in her purse, one on her night stand and in her dresser was the purchase she had made just two days ago, the baggy now half full.

She glanced over at her clock with tear clouded eyes to find the clock blinking 12:01 am. He still hadn't come. He always came around by 10 at the latest to check on her and if all was well, to go out and get some food and maybe take a walk in the park. It was something they just did. He would leave her angry during the day, she'd get high and be off it by the time he came back.

Usually.

Sometimes, she'd invite people over before he came and they'd drink and smoke and she'd usually get more drugs. She didn't like to go outside of pot though. She'd done meth once, but that fucked her up and freaked her out. That had also led her to sleep with someone who wasn't Lucas and someone who definatly wasn't a man. She'd done coke a couple of times, once with Lucas and then with a group of friends and Peyton was particularly taken to it. She'd been offered heroin but she swore to herself that she'd never do that. Pot was what she loved and she was fine with just that.

She'd drink a lot when she smoked too, something that definatly wasn't good for her. Her company would leave and then she'd still drink more and if her dealer left her anything, she'd smoke it, or in some cases snort it. Half of the time she'd end up passing out and she'd usually end up in her bed with Lucas sitting next to her. She'd wake up and then go into the bathroom followed by Lucas. He'd hold back her hair as she threw up, tears trailing down her face.

She'd say every time that it would be the last time she'd do it. The last time she'd smoke or drink or do anything. She'd apologize to him for having to see her like that and for doing it. He'd rub her back and tell her he loved her. She'd whisper that she loved him too before curling back up in her bed up against Lucas' side and fall asleep.

When she woke up, she'd repeat.

On good days when she was Lucas for the whole day she wouldn't smoke. He didn't like it and when they'd spend their days together she wanted to make him happy. His smile was always brighter on those days and he'd always look at her so highly. At the end of those days, they'd be curled up in his bed and he'd kiss her and say thank you and she'd smile and kiss him back.

But, those days didn't happen very often anymore because she had let her addiction rule her life.

Before she knew it it was morning. She'd fallen asleep on her couch waiting for him. She sat up from the couch and looked around, trying to find a change in the rooms appearance. Maybe he had come but left before she woke. Her eyes fell upon a crisp white envelope lying on her coffee table. She smiled and grabbed the envelope, her slender fingers making quick work of the seal.

I can't always be there to break your fall Brooke. I love you so fucking much but I can't take anymore of this. I've known for a long time now that there wasn't going to be an easy out. I was hoping that maybe I could get you to stop though so I wouldn't have to leave. At the end of the day I don't want to leave you. You have no idea how much I wanted to go back to your apartment last night. I wanted to hold you and kiss you and tell you I love you but I can't do that. Not while you keep doing this to yourself. I flushed your stash but did leave one joint sitting on the counter next to the toilet. Call me when you flush it.

I don't want my pretty girl to turn ugly.

Love, Lucas

He was walking down the street, on his way to his mom's cafe. He was in town visiting. He'd left Tree Hill about 10 years ago, transferring to a college out of state and then choosing to stay there. He noticed a brunette walking towards him and just as she passed him he realized who it was.

Brooke Davis (he assumed that she was still Davis) looked unhealthy. She was all skin and bones, paler than ever, her face looking hollowed in. Her greasy hair was pulled into a pony tail and she was wearing a pair of jeans that hung loosely on her hips and a t-shirt that was too big. He looked at her arms and noticed a bruise on the bend of her left arm and he realized that in the ten years he hadn't seen her, she'd broken her heroin rule. Her face looked like it was scarred and it looked wrinkly. She was only supposed to be 30 and she looked about 45.

He had never gotten a phone call from her.

He shook his head and sighed. She hadn't recognized him either, something he was secretly happy about. He couldn't stand to look at her. He didn't want to hear anymore of her excuses or the lies about how together her life was that would surely escape her mouth. It did kill him to see her like that though. He loved her so god damn much and she was so much better than what she had become. He'd deny it if anyone ever found out, but she had been the reason he left Tree Hill.

She'd known it was him, and that's why she had crossed her arms underneath her chest so that maybe he would see the bruise on her arm. She kept her head down so that he wouldn't look at her face. She walked a little bit faster so he wouldn't stop her.

He would be disappointed if he recognized her. She didn't amount to anything, her addiction only grew and the only thing she ever had going for her was gone. She wasn't pretty or beautiful. She was ugly as hell and she knew it.

After reading the letter 10 years ago, she had gone into the bathroom and sat down in front of the toilet, rolling the joint in-between her index finger and her thumb. She cried and cried and tried with all her might to drop it in the toilet. She knew that if she did, he would have come over and held her and said that she'd get through it and then she'd tell him about the coke stash in her closet and he would've made he flush that two. But they'd get though it because they loved each other so much and she'd finally kick her habit. She hated herself for not flushing that joint every day.