Hey Nightwing here! Sorry I've been gone for so long but I'll be gone for another duration of time. I've been busy as an art student drawing and studying my brains out like you won't believe. I'm also writing three separate novels that won't be posted on here 'cause I'm hoping I can edit them enough to publish. Hopefully. I have a lot of dreams going on right now, especially my priority of joining a Pixar course this summer, not to mention exactly what's going on in this chapter. Iggy's been very quiet in my mind lately but he does like the sweets I made last week. :)

Please enjoy!

Chapter 10

Have you ever been the last hope? The person people placed all their burdens on? You probably have some point in your life, just like I have. I remember when I could still see, it wasn't always that dark, the School I mean. There used to be a part of me that liked the School 'cause they had treated me well from time to time 'cause I had become their last hope.

How did I become that last hope? That's obvious 'cause all the hope they had in the ones before me had failed, Max and Fang including. It's not that they were incompetent or obsolete but at that time Max and Fang could no longer do things the School deemed worthy. Max would fight against the White Coats and Fang would mindlessly always follow Max so the two failed together. Nudge had no potential for useful powers and Angel and the Gasman had not been born yet. So I was left, a four year old who was encouraged kindly when the others weren't around.

I remember when they first began relying everything on me when I was four. I was pulled aside one day as Max and Fang were sent for more tests. Two large hands gripped me hard, shaking me as they crouched down to my level. They still towered over me and I remember being frightened by the man's scowl. "Don't make the same mistakes they did." The man seethed and I knew he was talking about Max and Fang. "You do and all of you will be left to rot in those cages without food for the rest of your miserable life." I nodded mutely, knowing all I had to do was not become like Max and Fang. Those two did not want to merely survive, they wanted to live.

I later learned it wasn't the matter of living or surviving the School, it was the matter of saving the world and Max was no longer capable of learning how to. So they trained me at night, taught me the things I needed to know and when they hurt me, they told me it was only an act in front of the rest of the flock. Of course they didn't completely give up on Max and Fang, they tried forcing them to learn from their mistakes in tests, they tried everything so I didn't have to become the last hope. But it all failed.

Every day I was reminded by those somber looks that I was left. I could not disappoint, not 'cause of the threat but 'cause I had to prove them wrong. Every somber look told me they thought I'd turn out just like Max and Fang and even as a tiny kid I was hurt 'cause they had lobbed me with the others before I had the chance to truly show myself. They pulled me aside often to remind me Max and Fang were mistakes and though I agreed with them I silently knew that was truly the case. Max and Fang were good like me, they still are.

So I tried hard not to disappoint, the burdens they placed on me made it hard to move forward but I did it regardless even if it felt like I was going nowhere. I didn't hate those two for making me the last chance, not even in the slightest. I just wished they truly saw how much it burdened me. I lost sleep at night, listening to other experiments scream all 'cause so much was going through my mind from what I had to achieve. The desperation to prove I was not a failure, the stress and effort to keep the pressure from consuming me, the ache from a body that could not rest despite the amount of work they had put in.

I was succeeding, proving my point that I was not a failure but I always felt like I wasn't doing enough, that I could never do enough. There would always be the disappointment of the others and I could not erase that but I wished I could.

I wasn't always that obedient to the White Coats either. 'cause I still had faith in Max and Fang I followed their actions for the most part when I was with them. I guess, though at the time I wasn't truly aware, there could have been a balance between the two. I fought and bit from time to time and laid on the sarcasm and curiosity to Dinky to the extent that he hated me. You guys already know that story.

There was a chance to erase the White Coats' disappointment and they used me, the one who had yet to truly let them down and would hopefully become their last hope not 'cause I was the last but 'cause they no longer had to look for another hope and another. Have you ever wondered why I was the one who became blind and not Max or Fang? Well, that's why. That chance was to improve my eyesight and I failed obviously. I regretted disappointing them at the time but right now it doesn't feel that bad. Of course I still hate being blind but the burden was lifted and I was free to do what I wanted. Well in the confines of the School and under a White Coats' watch but that's beside the point.

Apparently Max was aware of what they were doing to me even if she revealed it after Jeb left. She did it when it became my sole job to cook 'cause no one else could, Max told me she was reminded of the School and how she caused all that pressure onto me. I didn't argue, I mean she was right, but that pressure was gone now 'cause I didn't have to live up to any standards. Max said she regretted placing such pressure on my shoulders but I reminded her it's all under the bridge. All that pressure is worthless now.

At the school before I became blind I was always being compared to Max and Fang where their successes would haunt me and their failures would cause the White Coats to say, "Don't you dare become like them." Here, in this flock, there's nothing to compare to. I'm the only one who can cook, who can be amazing even though I'm blind, who taught the Gasman to build bombs, and can pick a lock in under fifteen seconds. New record, aren't you proud of me? Yeah, I thought so too.

I'd be lying if I said Max and Fang's gallivanting back in the School never bothered me but I don't regret being the White Coats' pawn. It's a fuzzy memory now and a secret experience in my life but there's still one part of me that still carries a similar pressure. I will always be compared to those two, you know how it goes with siblings, and attempting to measure up to them nowadays is impossible. I may be closest to their age but 'cause of my 'disability' I'm considered as 'the rest of the flock' and not one of the 'older kids' or 'co-leader'.

I guess it isn't much of a secret experience now, Max will probably read this later and say, "Iggy, I didn't know you hated us!" Which of course means she misread something again. You can't trust her with a map you know, if we give her a map and tell her to go north we'll go southwest. And I also guess what I'm trying to say is don't let the pressure get to you if you have it. Prove them wrong if they think you'll amount to nothing but know there's a balance between being yourself and being someone else to please another. The pressure might be suffocating now but it'll get better. It always does. And if you don't believe me and say it's only going to get worse then I'll give you some advice Jeb told me when he had to break my arm again after a fight with Max where she broke my arm and it healed too quickly: It has to get worse before it gets better. Just like when you hit rock bottom the only place left to go is up.

That was a valuable not so secret experience now, wasn't it? I didn't think so either.

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I felt like this a pessimistic thing for Iggy to write about. He doesn't regret it but he doesn't exactly like what he did either. I bet he feels like this was a worthless thing to write about 'cause he doesn't know if anyone knows this experience or even wants to learn about it. I dunno, somehow I knew Iggy would write something like this if such a situation was placed in his life. There is always more to a person than meets the eye.

Well this was fun! I'd like to talk with anyone if they'd like to PM me, I don't usually answer my e-mails... sorry. It was nice to be on here again.

Adieu
Nightwing