Oh, yay! This is probably the longest chapter in this story… (sighs) But I didn't make you really wait now, did I? Only a few days… so I kinda kept my promise…

Enjoy!

--

Following the computer's suggestion, Zim ordered it to carry Dib up to the couch in the living room. He wanted to get back on working on his chicken-bomb plan, and was not very pleased when the computer interrupted his command to say, "Wait… I should probably scan him first."

"And why should you feel the need to do that, computer?" the green Irken snapped.

There was a silence. Then: "Don't you want to know why the human fainted like that?"

There was another silence as Zim flushed. Then he barked out, "No, Zim does not care why the Dib-stink fell like that!" Turning sharply, he called out, "Just transport him up to the living room!"

There was an audible crackle over the speakers, much likened to a sigh. "What exactly are you going to do with him, Zim?"

The unexpected question stopped Zim in his tracks. Unsurely, he replied, "Uh… I will… torture him! Yes! Poke and probe and prod him with dangerous metal instruments till he screams with mind numbing terror." His voice grew in confidence as he spoke, and the computer, a bit put-off by the mental image of Zim "probing" the human that now lay unconscious on the floor, replied almost cautiously, "Then wouldn't it make sense to leave him here in the lab if you're planning to… torture him?"

"Later, I will torture him later," said Zim matter-of-factly, waving a careless hand. "For now, just transport him to the couch." And he disappeared into the dark shadows of the lab.

The computer reached out a metal arm to lift Dib into a transport chute. However, as soon as the arm reached the boy's body, it froze. Almost thoughtfully, the computer murmured, "I wonder…"

A blue line of light swept its way down Dib's body, stopping with a beep as it illuminated the white patch stuck innocently on the human's neck. The metal arm plucked off the patch neatly, and a moment after that, Dib's eyelids fluttered, then closed shut again.

The computer chuckled quietly and lifted Dib into a transport chute.

--

Zim jerked up in surprise and suspicion as he heard a quiet chuckle echo though the walls. "Computer?" he called out. He heard nothing in reply.

Shrugging it off, the Irken stared in anticipation at the map he sketched, laid out before him. "If I take these out over here," he muttered, jabbing a point in the map, "then the filthy stinking humans would be less powerful to stop me…" Then he paused, thinking of the exploding chicken head.

"Hm… Earth would be a messy place by the time I am done with it," murmured Zim, an evilly amused smile on his face.

"Wheeeee!"

For the second time, Zim jerked up in surprise.

"WHEEEEEE!!"

"Gir?!" Quickly, Zim ducked, barely dodging a flying Gir, rockets ablaze. The robot gave a high-pitched squeal as he hit the wall, falling down with his small legs up and his head on the floor. Cyan eyes dimmed.

"…Gir?"

Startlingly, Gir's eyes lit up, a shocking blur of blue. "That was fun!" he chirped cheerfully. "The monkeys were flyin'… hee-hee!" He sat up and spotted Zim. "Hiiii, Masta'!" This was accompanied by rapid waves. "Didja see the monkeys fly?"

A sigh. "No, Gir, I did not see the monkeys fly. Now, go away, Gir. I am working on important plans, plans to conquer this filthy ball of dirt!"

"Awww…" The SIR unit cocked his head to one side. "Where's Mr. Big Head?"

"Eh?!"

"MR. BIG HEAD! I wanna play with him!" And Gir reached into his head and pulled out… Bob. If you do not remember Bob, then let me refresh your memory: pig, lasers, Dib's gigantic head.

… he is the device, disguised as a pig, programmed to shoot lasers at Dib's gigantic head.

Ah, yes. And so Gir pulled out Bob, who blinked innocently as it got raised up high above the robot's head. "Me n' Bob wanted to play with him!"

Zim's eyes bugged out of his head. It was unbelievable, really. Gir managing to keep a real live pig… well, alive for more than two days? Previously, Zim would have said this was impossible, with many a hand gesture, for usually, the pig would go mad and die with its frayed insanity.

Oh… but wait, Bob wasn't a real live pig.

And Zim could use Bob right now, considering the fact that currently, an incapacitated Dib lay unconscious upstairs. A malicious smirk gracing his features, Zim made to grab Bob.

Gir, however, pulled it out of the alien's reach. Petting it affectionately, the robot said, "You can't have Bob, Masta! Me lurves him!" And he hugged poor Bob tightly. Then he looked up, chirping, "The way you loves Mr. Greasy Head!"

A dark growl. "Gir, give me Bob. Now!"

The SIR unit's eyes flashed a sudden red. In a stiff salute, Gir barked out, "Yes, sir!" He handed over the bewildered-looking pig.

"That's more like it," said Zim, satisfied. Awkwardly, he put up a hand to his head. "Now go, er… play with the monkeys!"

A happy squeal as Gir's eyes turned back to cyan. Off he raced, once again in pursuit of monkeys.

Zim sighed. He looked down at the pig in his hand, and a slow smile spread on his face.

He called out, "Computer, is the Dib awake yet?"

"No, Zim…" Perfect.

Working quickly, Zim reset the pig, activating it to work at 3:00:00, e.g three hours. That should be enough time for Zim to kick Dib out of his house.

Ah, the Dib was going to get a surprise when he wakes up…

--

Sneakily, or in a manner the Irken thought was sneaky, Zim tiptoed his way to the living room, Bob in his hand, careful not to make any noise. He peered at the sofa, and, sure enough, the human was still unconscious.

He moved cautiously to the sofa and slipped Bob in a pocket of Dib's black trench coat, resisting the urge to cackle out loud, instead contenting himself with an evil smirk.

Then Dib's eyelids fluttered.

The smile froze on Zim's face; his crimson eyes widened. Luckily, he had whipped back his hand, leaving Bob in Dib's pocket.

And those eyes opened. Amber met red.

"Z-Zim?!" It was a stunned cry. Instinctively, Dib sat up and reached, his hands closing on Zim's neck.

"GAH!"

Furiously, Dib started throttling the surprised alien. "Y-you stupid, stupid alien! What the heck happened?! And why am I here?? DID YOU REMOVE SOME OF MY ORGANS?! OH, TELL ME I STILL HAVE MY KIDNEYS!!!" The last was drawn out in a high wail.

"N-nyah… D-Dib… f-filthy…h-human…" Zim's skin was turning a pretty blue.

The Dib was obviously in hysterics. "DON'T 'FILTHY HUMAN' ME! YOU DID SOMETHING TO ME, I KNOW IT! What, do I have a ketchup bottle now where my spleen used to be?!"

Zim was about to collapse from lack of air, when Dib's hands loosened. The alien collapsed anyway, eyes shutting and crumpling into an exhausted heap on the floor. Dib glared at it, and got up, meaning to leave and do an internal organs check, when all of a sudden, he remembered that he was the one who traveled to Zim's house, and it was because of…

Turning back around, the human declared, "Zim! I have uncovered your plan to confuse me! So no need to… er…" A bit foolishly, he stared at the Zim-heap on the floor.

"Heh… um…" What should he do?

A crimson eye cracked open, a deadly glare in its midst. "Computer!"

Dib barely had time to say, "Huh?" when a red laser burst from the ceiling flew past his ear, hitting the wall behind him.

Zim slowly got up, stretching. He smirked as he watched Dib try to dodge another laser shot. Really, Dib was so… amusing.

The human yelped as a laser grazed his arm, and, tearing the door open, he ran. After him, Zim yelled, "AND DON'T EVER COME BACK AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME, DIB-STINK?!" A gnome shot him in the back, and Dib gave a faint cry.

Hee. Closing the door, the alien couldn't resist a chuckle. However, the lasers were not quite as harmful as one would think, though the Dib may experience back pain for about a week or so.

But what had the human said? That he 'uncovered' Zim's plan to confuse him? Zim frowned. If he had… then this was not good. Not good at all.

Remembering Bob, however… perhaps it didn't really matter.

--

Notice any plot holes? If you haven't, then that's alright. For those who have, though, I'll try to explain them. I've noticed two for now, actually.

1) About Bob… remember in Chapter 7, when Dib reached Zim's house, Gir was playing with a pig? No, this pig is not Bob, which is why the pig hadn't immediately shot at Dib's head.

2) If you wonder why, when Dib met Gir, Bob did not jump out of the robot's head and started firing at Dib, (it would be quite amusing if this happened, though) this is because he can't. You know, being in Gir's head is like being in a metal box. But Bob did sense Dib's physical presence. Okay… this may not really be a plot hole… but it felt like one to me at first. At first…

If you notice any more plot inconsistencies, then I'd be happy if you tell me about them. Because right now, I think I'm at a point where my story is getting a bit… out of control for me. Alright, I'm probably past that point. But still… -.-

And I think some of the characters are now getting a bit OOC. Especially Zim...