Disclaimer: I do not own FF7!

Ask Reno!: Chp 5

Hiya, again! We're back to answer more of your questions! I'm so sorry for taking so long answering them. There's just so much going on right now. I mean, right now, I'm really supposed to be studying for my theology final.

You should be more responsible, M! Like me, yo.

Oh? Where are those reports you were supposed to have completed by today?

…Call it a draw?

Sure. Anyway, we received a lot of letters from you guys! It's so exciting!

I like the ones that come with delicious gifts. Those are the best, yo.

Yeah, you would be interested in the food, wouldn't you?

You know it, yo! A man's gotta eat!

I suppose you're right! Now, without further interruptions, let's get to answering questions! The first one says:

"What's up with the goggles? I mean, I've never seen you wear them. And it's not like you're a pilot (like Cid!) or something. I also don't see how it could have anything to do with your Turk duties since no one else seems to have a pair. Do you... do you only wear them because you think it looks cool or something?" Signed, a-ninny-mouse ()

My goggles? I love my goggles, yo! I wear them all the time! I think they look nice and sometimes they come in handy for Turk business, yo. Like one time, one of us (not gonna mention any names), dropped something very important under water and who was the only one there with goggles to go retrieve it?

…You?

Darn right!

But weren't you the one who dropped it in the first place? Either way, you had to go down there to get it; goggles or not.

I didn't drop it! It was…was…Rude, yo! He did it!

Just finish answering the questions.

Okay, yo. But I'm telling you, that guy's a butterfingers. Let's see…Hey! I am a pilot! I'm a helicopter pilot! The best darn one ShinRa has, mind you. That's the other reason why I wear these goggles. It's a pilot's necessity!

That's right! I think those goggles are adorable. They remind me of Matt from Death Note 3

Thank you. Heh, reason number three: Chick magnet.

What was that, Reno?

Nothing, yo. Just taking to myself.

Um…okay. Let's answer the next one:

"Do you have any siblings? Just curious. And, if someone dared you, would you sky-dive?" Signed, FaerieFighter009

Sorry, yo. As far as I know, I'm an only child. But I did have a bunch of friends when I was younger that I treated as brothers and sisters. I miss them a lot, yo. I would love to see them again.

What happened to them?

…Most of them were killed young….

…I'm sorry.

Ah, it's fine. I'm over it now, yo.

Still. It's sad and I'm sorry I brought it up, Reno…

It's cool, it's cool. Let's just move on.

Wait, there's still one more. Would you ever sky dive?

Are you kidding me? Of course! I've been sky diving billions of times. And there are some times where I went without a parachute, by the way. But those were during Turk missions, yo. Once, I was about to crash into the side of a mountain and had no choice but to leap out of the helicopter.

Oh my gosh! What happened?!

Someone tampered with the wires to the controls and I wasn't able to move anything at all. I was lucky that the water below was deep enough for me to fall into without getting seriously hurt, yo.

How scary…I'm glad you're okay. Did you catch the guy who did it?

Rude and Elena caught him later on and we made him go sky diving with cement shoes instead of a parachute, yo.

…I'll make sure never to mess with you guys. Next question:

"Where the hell were the Turks during Dirge of Cerberus? You'd think that since Deepground was so big and important to the head honchos of old Shinra (pre-Meteor, I mean) that Rufus would've sent you guys out to help deal with them when they started blowing everything to hell and plotting the end of the world. Rufus did say that he wants to help regenerate the Planet now; wouldn't kicking Deepground's with the Turks have been a means toward that end?"

Well-

Wait, there's more:

"What is Rude's usual reaction when you break his sunglasses and why does he wear those all the time, anyway? Who didja like best: Tifa, Yuffie, Aerith, or Scarlet (already know your opinion on Elena)? That said, if given the opportunity to steal one of these gals away from their current man (canon pairings; Cloti, Zaeris, Yuffentine), which one would be least hazardous to your health to steal away, in your opinion? And would you actually do it, if given the chance? Last question for now, I swear: what video games do you like?" Signed, Queen

Are you done?

Yes.

Alright, then. First of all, we were on vacation during the making of that game! We hate to be bothered when we're on vacation, yo. Besides, I think it was only a secret between the head honchos anyway and they probably felt that it was none of our business, so we weren't involved.

Aw, that sucks. I hate old ShinRa!

Hey!

Except for Reno.

Thank you. Besides, I'm sure they keep a lot of secrets from us. We didn't even know about Deepground until that incident, yo. I'm sure there are a lot more things that we're kept in the dark about.

That's not right!

I know...

...Wanna go do some spying later?

Yeah!

Sweet! Alright, answer the rest of it, and then move on.

Okay. Let's see...I think Rude is used to me breaking his sunglasses by now. I mean, he does carry extras around in his pocket. It's not my fault, though! It's stupid gravity, yo.

…

What?

Gravity, Reno? You're blaming gravity?

Yes. Yes I am.

Keep answering before I pinch your cheeks.

Fine…I'm not exactly sure why Rude always wears his sunglasses, yo. I think it's because either he is sensitive to light, or he's just shy and it makes him feel better. Ooh! The next one is a good question, yo. I like Tifa the most out of all of them, but she's Spike's woman and that's a health hazard, so I'll go with Aerith.

Good choice! She's pretty too!

I know! And she would be the easiest to snatch away from the given pairings because her boyfriend's dead, yo!

Reno!

What?! I'm just stating the truth!

That was insensitive.

But it is the truth! Her boyfriend's dead so I'll be there for her, yo!

But what if his ghost comes down and haunts you?

G-Ghost? There's no such t-thing as ghosts, M.

Why are you stuttering, Reno? Scared??

N-No!

Careful...Ghost Zack's gonna geeet yooooooou!

Cut it out, yo! He is not! I haven't even touched his girlfriend!

ZOMG! What's that?!

What? Where?! ACK!!

Ahahahahahahaha!! I was kidding! Sit back down, Reno,! Get off of me! This chair is only for one person! You'll break it!

T-That wasn't funny at all, yo!

I was playing with you, Reno. There was nothing behind you. I just imagined that white hand on your shoulder, that's all.

WHAT?!

I kid, I kid! Now let's try to finish this chapter sometime before next year.

You're the one digressing, yo!

Ooh! Looks like someone learned a new word!

M!

Sorry, sorry! Ignore me and move on!

Anyway, my favorite video game type is both RPG and action/adventure, yo. Right now, M and I have been playing Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles!!

I bought a Wii just for that!! It's so much fun!! Especially since it's can be played with two people now, instead of just one. Playing with a friend makes things so much more exciting!

I know! Wanna play as a team again after this?

High five for reading my mind!

Booya!

Next question!:

"What do you want to say to the yaoi fangirls? (I'm not one, but still ))Who do you think will get married first from the Turks?" Signed, xyuffiex

Yaoi fangirls!! Ugh!

Hey! I'm one of them! Yay for yaoi!

Look, I don't really mind them, but please. Stop pairing me with Rude! PLEASE! I don't mind Rufus and maybe even Tseng (as long as I'm seme), y'know, 'cause those two kinda look like chicks, yo. But please not my best friend! We're friends!! That's all, yo!

Suuuure.

M!!

What? You're friends

Don't wink like that! Ugh, moving on, yo. I personally think that Tseng will be the first to get married. He's the most mature one of all of us and he's serious about the things he does. The rest of us don't take things too seriously and we all kinda just fool around, yo. I wonder if any of us will get married, really.

I wonder what kind of girl Tseng will marry…

Not my 'Lena, that's for sure, yo.

That's what you think.

What? Hey! I-

Next!!:

"Are you ever gonna get married?" Signed, Fujiwara Aiko ()

Hopefully one day, yo. And it might be to 'Lena, M.

What? Why are you looking at me like that? I didn't do anything!

I won't let Tseng steal my woman!

Please calm down, Reno. I was only kidding. Anyway, let's answer one more, okay? I really need to get back to studying.

Okay! Let's do it!

Yay!:

"Do you think Tifa will ever net Cloud? Or do you think she'll end up with you? Or do you think she'd doomed to eternal loneliness because you'll have Elena and Cloud's spirit will run off with Aerith in a flowerfield? Aerith can manifest, ya know...though you'll never see her do it" Signed, Angelalex242

Heh, you made M laugh with that one. She's on the floor and everything!

You don't gotta tell 'em that!! And come on! Don't you think Aerith manifesting is funny?

Well anyway, I think Tifa deserves better than Cloud, but who she hooks up with is up to her. I don't think she'll end up with me because she pays way too much attention to blondie. However, I do think one day Cloud will come to his senses and get together with Tifa, but I think it'll take a couple of slaps to the face and maybe even a few signs in the sky for him to realize how much she loves him, yo.

Woah.

Yeah, I know, but it's the truth, yo.

I would love to see Cloud and Aerith's spirit running through a field, though. That'll be hilarious!

Hahahaha! It would! I could see it now!

Oh, how I love thee, Cloud!

And I you, Aerith! AHAHAHAHA!!

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ah, man, that was great

It was. Well, I'm sorry, but we're all out of time and I apologize if I haven't answered your questions yet. There's just so much work that needs to be done, but as soon as I could, I promise I will get right on those questions! And I will do my absolute best to update 'The Random Life Of Reno' pretty soon. I'm really truly sorry for making you guys wait so long...

I'll make sure she gets to work, so you guys don't gotta worry, yo.

Right! Anyway, see you guys next time!

Laterz, yo! 'Til next time!