A/N: Not sure where this came from, except you know Roxas is very very pretty. That, and uh. Fight Club? Yeah. I fail.
Scarred
Hello doesn't happen the way it should, because everyone else gets pleasant isn't it nice? vibes from the first hello.
Roxas and Axel just get prolonged time assigned together that never really gets out of that initial awkward stage, the kind of silence that holds people together by a thread.
It's that same feeling you get just when someone walks away from you after saying like hell am I ever coming back.
---
Don't coddle me or I'll fucking leave, says the pretty pale porcelain boy who doesn't want to stay after the first time, who zips up his coat and walks away, hair tousled, glassy eyes glinting.
Like it was fucking nothing.
But to Axel, it was fucking something.
Some, none, some, none.
It's either or to Roxas.
It's so very different to Axel.
---
Axel is careful with him, so careful with Roxas because he doesn't want to fuck this up, doesn't want to send Roxas far far away now that he has him so so close.
His touches are soft, soft, deliberate, slow, careful. Careful, just like things Roxas isn't satisfied with.
He wants scars.
He wants to know why the fuck Axel isn't delivering.
I won't break, you know, he spits at Axel. I can take anything you give me.
Axel's green absinthe sea eyes flash for a moment, almost-maybe-concerned.
You don't have to be so gentle with me, says that strawberry-gone-sour mouth of his.
He wants to say something but he doesn't know what to say, this is one of those rare rare moments when words fail him, so he kisses Roxas, tries again.
Too soft, Axel, damn you.
And Roxas bites Axel's lip and sends blood flowing down his chin.
Axel asks, angrily, what the hell that was for.
Roxas' glassy eyes glint while he says, simply, because that wasn't good enough.
Roxas' glassy eyes glint while he says, simply, so bite me back.
Roxas' glassy eyes glint while he says, simply, "Fuck me."
Like how those words shouldn't come out of a fifteen-year-old's mouth (body only, Axel remembers, and then reminds himself to fuck technicalities), and how all of a sudden that will change everything.
And Axel takes him rough because that's how Roxas wants it, because Roxas wants the pain because it's maybe-real and it sure as hell beats being the Organization's perfect tool, being the Organization's pretty pale porcelain boy.
When he wakes he has scars.
Finally.
---
It's a difference Axel hopes they'll overcome.
Because Roxas doesn't see Roxas the way Axel does.
Axel wants this pretty pale porcelain boy to stay safe, to not know or have to wonder just who this Sora he dreams about is. And if the world is soft and smooth around him, he won't leave.
Roxas won't have to go.
And this almost-maybe-feeling thing—Axel'd have time to work it out.
It's what he wants now.
It's what he needs now.
But Roxas sure as hell won't die without a few scars, without a few fights on his way out.
Axel doesn't know that Roxas is really already gone.
---
Goodbye doesn't happen the way it should.
Goodbyes are usually prolonged, teary-eyed, dramatic and played out to the stars, but when the stars look down on Axel and Roxas' goodbye, it's decided in a few short words:
No one will miss me.
Roxas walks away, scars and all.
And that silence.
That feeling.
It's that same feeling you get just when someone walks away from you after saying like hell am I ever coming back.
Like hell are you enough to make me stay.
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