Free Talk- Okay, this chapter took a long time to finish. It's the longest one so far, but for some reason it still feels too brief to me. The unfortunate truth is that I have been having major writer's block with this story. I really don't know what direction I am going to take it, so I have decided to put this story on hiatus and start working on something else that has been in my head. It's an AU, which is new for me, but it's Aizen/Hinamori, which is my old standard. Don't know how writing will go, though. I need to work on some other stuff in my life. But I have rambled on. I hope you all like this new chapter, where we finally hear Rangiku's secret (though I know a lot of you have figured it out already). Hopefully some new ideas will come to me soon. Thank you so much for the support. Please tell me what you think.
In A Family Way
By Miss Angel Maxwell
Chapter 7: Do You Want To Know A Secret?
The air in the alleyway grew cold all around Izuru as he walked away from Momo. He had wanted to touch her gently on the top of her head and comfort her, but remembered that it was how Aizen used to reassure her and backed off, putting his hand on her shoulder instead. He wasn't Aizen and he never would be. He would never be able to heal Momo's heart the way he once did.
All her strange behavior lately is because I have been trying to get too close to her. But that's good. It's good for me to be reminded that I'm not really her boyfriend, that she'll never… love me. I have to just repress these… Oomph! What the…?
Izuru had been looking pensively at his feet as he was walking and didn't see Rangiku until he bumped into her, and it wasn't until several more seconds had passed that he realized what part of her he'd collided with.
"Oh, Matsumoto… I'm sorry! I, uh, I didn't mean to run into your… well, to run into you. I wasn't watching where I was going and… I swear it was an accident!"
"I believe you," she said with a little smile. "You're definitely not the type of guy who walks into a woman's boobs on purpose. So, what's got you so distracted that you can't keep your eyes on the road, Kira?"
As Izuru calmed down he felt the embarrassment drain from his face and released a small sigh. He answered her with a single word, "Momo."
"Momo?" Rangiku asked curiously. "Were you able to talk to her? Ask her what's been going on?"
"Yeah," said Izuru glumly.
"And?" Rangiku urged.
"And she didn't seem like she wanted to talk to me," he said. "Actually, I got the feeling she was mad at me about something… I don't know what I could have done to make her avoid me for weeks and then yell at me when I ask her about it."
Rangiku gave him a sympathetic look. "You know it probably has nothing to do with you. I can't imagine anything you did could have made her mad. You've shown her nothing but kindness these past months."
"I think that might be the problem," he sighed. "I've been trying to get too close to her too soon."
"You mean while she's still mourning Aizen?"
"She's not mourning him. She truly believes that Aizen is going to come back to her. Pretending that she and I are together wasn't her choice. It was forced on her. And now… now…" His voice began to crack.
"Okay, you have to calm down," Rangiku told him. "She knows that you're there for her as a friend, right?"
"I told her she could talk to me about anything," he answered.
"Maybe all she needs is just a little more time, Kira. Try talking to her again in a few days."
"Maybe you should talk to her instead," he said. "Maybe she'd be more open to talk about it with another woman."
"I dunno, she's kind of been avoiding me, as well. She never even asked me why I was crying that night. But… she probably just needs a little more time, like I said before."
"Yeah, I hope so," said Izuru, though his voice contained little hope. "I'm gonna go back home. I guess I'll talk to you later, Matsumoto."
"Goodbye, Kira."
Rangiku's farewell drifted after him as he trudged back to his house, all the while worrying about Momo. Being told to calm down by Matsumoto was good advice that he just couldn't follow.
I want to help her. I want to make her feel safe without making her uncomfortable. I know, Matsumoto is probably right. Momo just needs a little more time to herself. But I can't shake this feeling… this feeling that something else is wrong…
As soon as he was inside he slumped himself over his desk and, ignoring the 3rd Division performance logs he was supposed to review, continued to contemplate Momo's recent behavior.
It came on so suddenly, this change in her… literally overnight… I understand if she doesn't want me getting too close, but it just doesn't add up… That morning she came to my house to tell me something but she never actually said it. What could have made her…?
Sheer physical terror, a feeling like an enormous fist was strangling his stomach, suddenly punctuated Izuru's train of thought.
"Momo!"
It made no logical sense. Lately he couldn't even tell what was going on inside of Momo's head when she was standing right in front of him. But somehow, without any idea where she was, he knew that she was in peril right now.
"Momo! I… Hang on! I'm coming!"
He leapt to his feet and exploded out of his front door, shouting her name as he sprinted through the city. Shinigami stared at him as he ran but he barely noticed them. His eyes were primed only for her sweet face, his ears only for her voice.
I don't know how I can be so sure, but I am! Something bad happened to her! I can feel it in the pit of my stomach! But what? What could have happened? And where is she?
After scouring the library and sweeping twice through the back alley where he'd encountered her before with no sign of Momo, Izuru knew he would have to put more thought into his search. He skidded to a stop, panting loudly, in the exact spot where he had confronted her less than an hour earlier.
She was upset… She would want to go someplace where she felt safe and happy… Maybe the 5th Division offices? No, there would be other Shinigami in there. Momo would want to go to a place where she could be alone, somewhere private. Private… like Aizen's private quarters!
He had never run so fast in his life.
To his relief and horror, the seals on Aizen's door had all been torn. Inside, his worst fears were confirmed. Crumpled in a pitiful little heap on the dusty floor was Momo, her limp hands still tangled up in Aizen's old jacket.
"Momo! Oh shit! Momo, wake up!"
He fell at her side shook her but she didn't move. Without wasting any more of the precious seconds that could mean life or death for Momo, he scooped her up in his arms and practically flew to the 4th Division Infirmary with her.
Captain Unohana and Lieutenant Isane were quietly sipping tea together when Izuru burst in. "Lieutenant Kira?" the captain asked, seeming only slightly surprised until her eyes settled on the bundle in his arms. "Lieutenant Hinamori! Kira, what happened to her?"
"I don't know!" he wailed. "I found her in… in her house, passed out! I don't know what happened to her but you have to save her! Please! You have to save Momo's life!"
Both 4th Division officers rushed over to Izuru and as he gently transferred her to Unohana, Momo twitched and muttered a in a weak voice a single word, "…baby…"
"She said something!" Izuru cried hopefully, still half holding the girl. "You heard it, right? She said 'baby!' Momo! Momo, are you awake? Did something happen to the baby?"
There was no response from Momo, but Unohana, with a grave expression, said "Isane."
Izuru felt the lieutenant pull him away, but his eyes were still on Momo, still desperately waiting for her to wake up and answer him.
"She's breathing," Unohana said, urgently. "But we have to hurry and get her back to the examining room. Take Lieutenant Kira to the waiting room and then join me as quickly as you can."
"Waiting room?" he protested. "No! I want to stay with her! Please, let me stay by Momo's side! I lo… She's very important to me!"
"I know," said the captain in a very motherly tone. "But you're still not allowed in the examining room." She pulled the yellow jacket out of Momo's loose grasp and handed it to Izuru. "You should probably put this back where it came from." Then she and her patient disappeared quickly through a pair of doors.
"I'll show you where you can wait, Kira," Isane said very gently and calmly. "Don't worry. The Captain will take care of Lieutenant Hinamori. She's going to be okay."
"Yeah," Izuru breathed reflexively. He hadn't actually processed Isane's reassurance as he stared at the doors that Unohana had passed through. He didn't budge from where he stood until he was physically shepherded away to the waiting room.
There was no clock in the infirmary waiting room, so Izuru had no idea how long he sat in the uncomfortable wooden chair, every muscle tensed, staring at his hands as they twisted Aizen's jacket and waiting for news about Momo. His skin was glazed in nervous perspiration and his breaths were shallow.
I shouldn't have left her in that alley… I knew something was wrong and I left her all alone. I let this happen to her…
"Lieutenant Kira?" The sound of Captain Unohana's voice broke through Izuru's worrying and when he looked up, she was standing in front him wearing an unreadable expression.
"Is Momo…?" he began in a quavering voice.
"She's stabilized," Unohana said. "She's still sleeping, but you can come back and see her if you want."
Izuru's body unclenched and his lungs released the air they had been holding in as the captain spoke. "Stabilized… That means she's going to be okay, right?"
"She'll be fine," said Unohana, smiling. "Come on, Lieutenant, follow me."
He stood up and followed her, out of the waiting room and down a long hallway. For several steps he was still swimming in relief over Momo's prognosis, but after the good news had settled, new anxiety bubbled up inside of him. Captain Unohana didn't explain what had actually happened to Momo. She didn't mention the baby at all. Was that an indication of good news or bad news?
Nervously spreading his lips to ask, Izuru found that his mouth was hot and sticky and the words were hard to form. Before he managed to get any out, Unohana stopped in front of a door and he realized that it must be Momo's room.
"Before you go inside, let me just brief you on Lieutenant Hinamori's condition," Unohana said, as if responding to the question that Izuru was about to ask. "When you brought her here she was having contractions and some uterine bleeding, which I've managed to stop. It seems she was already in ill health due to anemia and exhaustion. Has she been eating enough and getting plenty of sleep?"
"I… don't know," he answered, looking shamefully downward. "I guess I haven't really been paying much attention…"
"She's going to have to take it a lot easier from now on," said the captain. "It doesn't have to be complete bed rest, but she will probably have to cut way back on her work until she delivers. Too much stress could cause her to go into premature labor."
Izuru felt a great swelling of joy inside his chest. The baby was alright. It startled him how happy the news made him. After all, it wasn't even his child.
Captain Unohana opened the door. "I'll let you have some time alone with her, but I'll send Isane to check up on her a little later." After Izuru had stepped inside, she closed the door behind him to give him some privacy with the sleeping girl.
Momo looked so tiny in the infirmary bed, which had been built big enough to accommodate much larger Shinigami. Her sleep appeared peaceful, though, her chest rising and falling with slow, deep breaths. Izuru noticed a stool next to her bedside that had been placed there just for him and he took a seat. He wanted to hold her hand but realized he was still clutching Aizen's jacket, which he hastily stowed under the bed.
"Momo," he sighed, taking her tiny, warm hand in his. "You're all right. You're safe. I don't know what I would have done if you… or if the baby…" Just thinking about what could have happened made his body shake and his heart pound so loud it seemed to be coming from outside of the room, growing louder and faster like footfalls. This wasn't the sound of his heart.
The door to the room burst open and Rangiku flew in, white-faced and panting. "I just heard," she said in a fear stricken voice, "that Momo had collapsed. I ran all the way here. Kira, is she…?"
"She's fine," he said.
"What about the baby?" Rangiku asked.
"The baby is…"
"Nnn… Izu… ru…" Both Izuru and Rangiku remained perfectly still and silent as Momo muttered groggily and wriggled beneath the bed sheets. Her eyes fluttered open.
"Hi," Izuru said sweetly.
"Hi," she responded softly. "You're here. Am I… in the infirmary?"
"That's right," he answered. "Do you remember what happened to you?" He looked away nervously. "At Captain Aizen's house?"
"At Captain Aizen's…" She repeated the question to herself, forehead scrunched in concentration as she tried to remember. Her face suddenly went pale. "Oh my god! No! I remember! I felt a really sharp pain in my stomach, and then there was blood… No! No! No! NO!" She had broken down and was practically sobbing now. "I had miscarriage! I lost the baby!"
Izuru squeezed her hand tightly. "You didn't have a miscarriage, Momo." He placed her hand over her belly. "The baby is still in there. It's still alive."
"The baby is really okay?" she asked, trembling with relief.
"Yeah," he said. Exchanging tender smiles, his hand over hers, over the baby, it felt like they were the only people in all of Soul Society, until Momo noticed the other woman in the room.
"Rangiku…" There was something strange about her voice when she said it.
"Hey, Momo," Rangiku said. "How are you feeling?"
"I think I'm feeling alright. What… what are you doing here?"
"I came here to see you," she said kindly. "Because I was worried about you, of course."
"You guys were really worried about me?" Momo asked as if she actually couldn't believe it. "Even though… even though I'm the reason you two can't be together?"
Brow furrowed, eyes blinking in confusion, Izuru was about to ask for an explanation, but Rangiku beat him to it.
"What do you mean,together?" she asked. "Together… like as a couple?"
"Well, yeah," Momo said looking down shyly. "You don't have to hide it from me. I know you two are in love. I saw you walking together when I went to your house a couple of weeks ago… And then I realized why Rangiku started crying after she heard that we were dating. It all made perfect sense."
Momo's words and the absolute sincerity with which she said them floored Izuru. He wasn't sure how to even begin correcting her, especially when he still had questions to ask. "When did you see us walking together? You mean that time you were waiting outside my door?"
"That's right," said Momo, somewhat sheepishly. "I kinda got to your house before you came home and when I saw you with Rangiku I hid in the bushes. But I heard you talking about how you didn't want to tell me about your relationship because it would upset me. That's why I've tried to give you two more space…"
"Wait, that'swhy you've been acting strange?" Izuru asked, baffled. "Because you think Matsumoto and I are having a secret affair?"
"Well, I…" Momo began but was cut off by Rangiku, who pounced on the girl and wrapped her in an enthusiastic embraced.
"Oh, Momo! You sweet, adorably clueless girl!"
Izuru couldn't help smiling at Momo's stunned face as the older girl squeezed her against her enormous breasts. "Don't hug her too hard," he urged. "She's still recovering."
When Rangiku finally let go, she smiled sweetly at Momo, looking like she might start to cry. "Kira isn't in love with me," she said. "And I'm not in love with him. There's nothing romantic between us."
"There… there isn't?" Momo said, her voice sounding strangely relieved. "Then why have you two been spending so much time together? Why were you crying?"
Rangiku looked over at Izuru, asking him with her expression if it was all right for her to tell Momo the truth. He answered her with a tiny nod and she turned back to the patient. "Momo, the reason I cried when I heard that you were going to have a baby is that two weeks before the ryoka invaded Soul Society I lost my baby."
"Your baby?" Momo squeaked. "Rangiku, you were pregnant? I… I had no idea…"
"Nobody did," Rangiku said softly. "I didn't tell anybody I was pregnant. Not even Gin…"
Momo looked down shyly. "So… Captain Ichimaru was the father?" Rangiku closed her eyes and nodded and Momo looked up at her. "What happened?" she asked delicately.
"It went away," Rangiku said in a detached voice. "One morning I felt this really sharp pain in my stomach, started bleeding, and that was it. Captain Unohana said there was nothing she could do about it."
"I remember going to the 10th Division headquarters to see Shiro one day," Momo said, "and he told me that you were really sick in the infirmary. Was that…?"
"Yeah," Rangiku breathed. "As far as anyone else knew, it was a bad case of food poisoning. Only Captain Unohana knew the truth. And later, Lieutenant Kira."
Momo's brow furrowed slightly. "How… how did Izuru find out?"
The older woman gave a very small smile and combed her fingers through her hair. "After Gin and… and the other captains left, Kira and I went on a little drinking binge and I guess I had a bit too much and it slipped out."
"So that's the thing you guys didn't want to tell me about?" Momo asked. "The thing you thought might upset me?"
"Well, yeah," Izuru said soothingly, rubbing Momo's shoulder. "You're pregnant, Momo. You don't need to be reminded of what can go wrong… whatdid go wrong for someone close to you."
Izuru saw Momo's mouth open to speak again, but Rangiku began talking first. "Don't worry about not being able to comfort me. And I know that's what you were about to say. Kira has been a really good support for me. Like a brother."
She seemed to put a lot of emphasis on the last sentence.
"That's the reason why we've been spending time together lately," Izuru said.
"The only reason," Rangiku said. "But now you know the truth too, so you won't be left out anymore. I know you'll be there for me, Momo. And I'll be there for you."
"And I'm still here for you, too, of course," Izuru added. "Momo, you know I…"
He hadn't really thought about what he was going to say and was actually relieved when Lieutenant Isane bustled into the room. "Oh, how wonderful to see you awake and alert, Lieutenant Hinamori! How are you feeling? You're not having any more abdominal pain, are you?"
"Not at all," Momo replied. "I'm feeling much better, still a little tired, though."
"Well, you're going to have to take it easy for a while," Isane continued. "Someone else will have to take over most of your 5th Division duties until the baby is born. And you'll need plenty of rest and relaxation and good food. You have to put your health first."
"I… I'll do my best…" Momo said timidly. "But what if… what if something else goes wrong?"
"Well…" Isane began, sounding unsure of how to answer.
"You could move in with me," Izuru blurted out. "If you lived with me, Momo, I could look out for you and the baby. And if something went wrong, I'd be right there."
Momo blinked up at him, totally shocked. "You… you want me to live with you, Izuru?"
"I… I do," Izuru said. He hadn't planned to invite Momo to live with him; the words had just bubbled out. But now he realized that the offer, however spur-of-the-moment, was completely sincere. He wanted Momo to live with him and waited nervously for her response.
She answered slowly and thoughtfully. "I think that would be a great idea."
"Really?" Izuru asked eagerly.
"Yeah," she said, a smile spreading on her pink lips. "I like the idea of knowing that I won't be all alone in my house. And I know you'll take care of me better than anyone else could."
"I promise I will," Izuru said, lifting up one of her hands and giving it a firm squeeze as he pressed his mouth to her knuckles. Though he was looking at Momo, he could see Rangiku grinning at them through the corner of his vision.
"Sounds like you two have got a good plan," Isane chirped. "Now, I'm afraid I have to ask you to step outside for a moment, Lieutenants Kira and Matsumoto. I need to give Hinamori a quick physical examination."
After being ushered out the door, Izuru found himself and Rangiku alone in the infirmary hallway. After a brief pause, he spoke. "Thank you for not telling Momo that you and I kissed while we were drunk."
"Oh, no problem," Rangiku said. "You were totally wasted, Kira, you even called me…"
"And you were sad over Captain Ichimaru leaving," he interrupted. He could feel his cheeks growing warm just thinking about the end of Matsumoto's question and quickly changed the subject. "So, would you be interested in helping me get Momo moved?"
"Of course," she said, now grinning broadly. "I am so happy for you. You and Momo are going to be living together. You must be so excited."
Izuru rubbed the back of his head anxiously. "Yeah, well, it doesn't mean anything, it's just so she won't be alone. You know she's still only got eyes for Aizen. She's having his baby."
"Hey, he's gone and you're here," Rangiku said encouragingly. "And soon you'll be spending every day with her, sharing your home with her."
"Yeah?" Izuru said hopefully.
"Yeah! It will give you two plenty of opportunities to grow closer. And maybe you'll get a chance to tell her what you told me that drunken evening, that you've been head-over-heels in love with her since you were in school together."
To be continued…