THE WHITE ROOM...part 24

Three weeks passed by, slowly, at least as far as John was concerned. But, to the good, they were productive weeks. He gained some weight and he worked hard at his therapy so that his motor coordination greatly improved, as did his body and muscle strength. Sure, he wasn't about to go running with Ronon anytime soon, but he could stroll about Atlantis for longer than five minutes without needing a nap. It wasn't much, but it was enough to give John hope.

Then Lorne ended up giving John an incentive, without even realizing what he was doing.

Elizabeth was sending Lorne's team to MRX-343, a world that John and his team had visited several times in the past year for trading. They had a good rapport with the rather shy and reclusive people. Lorne's first visit there proved to be unproductive, and they really needed the food and herbs that the Godarrian's provided. But they had remained hidden to Lorne and his team. So Lorne had requested that Teyla and Ronon be allowed to join them on their next visit.

To her credit, Elizabeth had run the idea past John first. His immediate reaction had been jealousy, but after making himself chill out, he realized it was a good idea. Lorne needed the help, and Teyla and Ronon deserved a chance to go back through the gate. They had done their time, and then some, watching over both John and Rodney. So John had given the okay, assuring both Elizabeth and Carson that he could handle Rodney on his own. That playing fetch and carry for the scientist wouldn't wear him out unduly.

Rodney had protested at first, more because John had made him sound like a slave driver or something, but even he had agreed that Ronon and Teyla needed some time away from them both. Besides which, Ronon and Teyla would only be gone for three days tops. And, truth be told, John liked the idea of being there for Rodney. He needed to feel needed and useful. It had been too long since he had felt as if he were pulling his own weight. Watching over his friend would be a test for them both.

It had been almost amusing, the way Teyla had been reluctant to actually walk through the gate. Ronon had ended up pushing her through. John had been tempted to go after her. He had gotten used to her calming presence, but he knew they all needed this time apart. He reminded himself that it was only for a few days, then he distracted himself by asking Rodney if he needed anything.

Rodney needed alot of things, throughout the course of the day. He kept John on the run, so to speak, from after breakfast till supper time. Supper was trays of lasagna with cake for dessert, that John brought back to their quarters. Only he ended up dozing off instead of eating.

"Hey!"

John jolted awake at the sound of Rodney's voice. "Wh-what?" he asked, rubbing at his eyes and trying to blink Rodney into focus. "What's wrong? What do you need?" He felt discombobulated and he hated that feeling.

Rodney was eyeing him with concern. "You nearly did a face plant into your lasagna," he stated, pointing at John's plate. "You're supposed to eat it, not wear it."

"Yeah...I know." John stifled a yawn behind one hand. "Sorry."

"I wore you out." It was a statement not a question, and Rodney looked upset as he said it.

John shook his head. "No, you didn't. I'm fine."

Rodney didn't look convinced. "I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you to do so much. You're not strong enough."

"Stop it!" John's voice was sharp with anger and he winced at the tone. He softened it as he continued. "I wanted to help you today. I owe you, Rodney. And don't worry. I'm tired...but it's a good tired. I feel like I finally did something useful." He wasn't sure how else to explain it. "And...I got to pay you back at least a little."

"Pay me back for what?" Rodney looked confused.

John pushed his tray off to the side and faced his friend, but with a bit of reluctance. He didn't like talking about himself, but he figured he owed Rodney, just this once. "I don't remember everything that happened to me back on Earth, but I know that you were there with me. I know that you were there for me, every step of the way, and I'm not sure if I ever really thanked you for that."

Rodney shook his head, his cheeks flushing a bright pink. "You don't have to thank me. I didn't do anything. In fact, I failed spectacularly at protecting you!" There was anger and self-recrimmination in Rodney's tone.

"Don't." John had to stop him from going there. "You did more than enough, Rodney. I mean it." He mock-punched McKay on the chin till the other man conceded to look at him. "I owe you my life...again. Thank you." John meant it.

"Yeah...okay. Sure." It was an awkward moment and Rodney didn't handle them any better than John did. Maybe even worse. He pointed his fork at John, who was trying to hide another yawn and failing. "Go to bed."

John stared at him in disbelief, after glancing at his watch. "Are you kidding me? It's barely seven o'clock!"

"Your point being?" Rodney was rolling his eyes at him. "You're falling asleep sitting up. I wore you out to the point where you're too tired to eat. Which is bad if Carson finds out."

"He's still bitching about me not gaining any weight this week as it is," John allowed, but he was getting off topic. "Look, I'll doze while we watch a movie."

But Rodney shook his head at him. "Go to bed or I'll call Carson and sic him on you."

John overplayed being stunned, making it into a big, dramatic, moment. "You wouldn't do that!" he mock protested, all the while knowing that Rodney would do just that. But he would do it with good intentions.

"I would," Rodney replied, too solemnly, playing along. But the corner of his mouth twitched.

"Fine." John gave in gracefully, because he really was tired enough to fall asleep with his eyes open at this point. "But let's get you settled in bed first."

Rodney snorted, now brandishing his fork at John like a mini pitchfork. "I'm in a walking cast now, Colonel. I can hobble to bed on my own just fine. I only let Teyla help me and fuss over me because...well...I like it. It's...kinda nice when she does it." He made the confession a bit reluctantly.

But John appreciated his honesty, and he understood it. Teyla had a way about her that was comforting without feeling overly mothering, the way Carson could sometimes be. Motherly in a smothery way, that was Beckett at times. Although he always meant well, and had their best interests at heart. So John nodded and pushed off the couch, reaching for his tray.

"I'll take care of them," Rodney said, swatting John in the arm. "Go to bed!" It was clearly an order.

"Yes, mom," John drawled, grinning when Rodney scowled at him. He staggered to his room, assuring Rodney that he was fine and not about to fall on his face. Then he sleepwalked into the shower, washed up and pulled on sweat pants and a tee-shirt in something of a daze, before crawling into bed. John was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

But he started dreaming immediately.

He saw images of places and faces. He knew some of them, remembered others. He found himself in the white room, the walls dripping red, staining the floor and his hands. It felt so real, the way the warm redness slicked his palms. Blood warm, yet he ached with coldness.

Then pain was inside him, rushing through his veins, twining its way around every muscle, tapping a staccato beat in his skull. He screamed until his throat was raw. Screamed until he woke up, gagging, his throat feeling raw, but burning all the more when he made it to the bathroom and threw up until it felt like his insides were coming out.

As he stumbled over to the sink and rinsed his mouth, he realized he was scared. He just didn't know what he was scared of. But there was something he had to find. Someone, maybe. So he reached out to Atlantis, letting her guide her out of the room and into the shadowed hallway.

OoO

Rodney jolted awake, forgetting where he was and sitting up so fast he knocked his laptop off his lap. Luckily it slid off sideways, onto the couch. He righted it then pulled the ear buds from his ears, wincing at how loud the music still was. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but it wasn't much of a surprise that he had. A glance at his watch showed him that it was 3am. He should have gone to bed hours ago.

Stretching as best he could, Rodney then took a moment to wake up a bit before pushing up to his feet. He was still a bit unsteady with his walking cast, and he didn't want to risk taking a spill and doing further damage. Not when Carson said he was healing nicely.

Sheppard's room was before Rodney's, and it was habit now to pop in and check on the Colonel. Having expected to find Sheppard sleeping peacefully, Rodney was shocked to find himself staring at an empty bed. He blinked hard and rubbed his eyes, hoping he was just too tired to see straight. But the bed was still empty, the sheets and blanket twisted and hanging off the end, as if Sheppard had been restless.

"Bathroom!" Rodney whispered, hoping he was right and Sheppard had just gotten up to use the facilities. But the bathroom door was open as he hobbled over to it, and the lights were off. No surprise then, when he flicked on the lights, that the room was empty. "Where the hell are you, Sheppard?" Rodney hissed to the empty room. Moving as fast as he could back into the livingroom, Rodney scooped up his radio. He hated to wake up Elizabeth, but he didn't have a choice.

A moment later, Elizabeth's sleepy voice came over the com link. "Rodney? Do you know what time it is?"

He couldn't swallow a snort of derision at that. "Of course I know what time it is, and I'm sorry to wake you. But...um...Sheppard is missing."

"What?" There was clarity in Elizabeth's tone now. "What do you mean, he's missing?"

"Just what I said," Rodney shot back, having moved to hover in the doorway to Sheppard's room after making a circuit of the rest of the quarters. As expected, Sheppard was no where to be found. "The Colonel is missing, as in, not here in his rooms. Gone. Disappeared."

"I get it, Rodney!" Elizabeth's voice cut him off sharply. "I'll send a team out to look for him."

Rodney nodded, forgetting that she couldn't see him. "I'll get on my computer and hook into the main frame and use the life signs detector to see if I can find him."

There was a moment of silence, then Elizabeth said firmly, "We'll find him, Rodney. He'll be okay."

"Sure." Rodney wasn't about to admit he was worried. He was tired of worrying about Sheppard, the damn fool. He tapped off and headed for the couch. Typing furiously, he connected to the mainframe and worked his magic. It took some time to track down the various, individual, life signs. But he finally narrowed it down and contacted Elizabeth.

"Have you found him, Rodney?" she queried, sounding anxious.

He almost laughed at the question. Why else would he be contacting her? But he realized she was asking the obvious because she was just as worried as he was. Sheppard was going to get a new asshole reamed for him for this stunt. No doubt by both him and Elizabeth. "Try the Jumper bay," Rodney told her. "I'm showing one, non-moving, life sign." The non-moving part worried him. A lot.

Elizabeth seemed to catch on to that. "I'll send Carson with a team. Thank you, Rodney. Stay put and I'll call you when we get him." With that she tapped off.

Rodney sighed as he tossed his ear piece onto the coffee table. Sheppard had been doing so well. Whatever was going on with him now, Rodney hoped it didn't set him back again. He wasn't sure that any of them could handle starting over again. He was pretty sure he couldn't.

Feeling too maudlin and almost sick with worry, Rodney focused on his laptop and tried to distract himself by working on some power fluctuation formulas. But in the end he couldn't focus, so he set the laptop aside and hobbled out of the room. He needed to see Sheppard with his own eyes.

OoO

John felt anxious and jittery, and it was only his connection to Atlantis that kept him sitting still in the pilot seat. Well, that and the fact that his legs felt like rubber. He had wandered around the city for two hours, searching for something he couldn't find. Mainly because he really didn't know what he was searching for. He had ended up in Jumper One, wanting to go somewhere, but not knowing where it was he needed to go.

At one point he had blacked out, waking up to a sense of panic just a few minutes ago. He didn't have a radio on him and he wasn't sure who he should contact. If he woke Elizabeth up, what would he tell her?

"John?"

Apparently he was going to find out anyway. Turning in the seat, John wasn't all that surprised to see Elizabeth and Carson approaching. "Hey," he offered in greeting.

Elizabeth reached him first. "Rodney found you gone and he's not happy about it. What are you doing here?"

"I don't know." John couldn't hold her gaze. He started when fingers closed over his wrist, only to realize it was Carson checking his pulse. "I'm not hurt," he said firmly.

"I'm just making sure you're all right, lad," Carson countered, just as firmly. He didn't look all that satisfied with his results. "I'd like to take you to the infirmary and run a few tests," he stated.

John shook his head, regretting it as pain spiked in his temples. He'd been working on a humdinger of a headache for a while now and it had finally taken hold. It felt like a vice grip had latched on to his skull and was crushing it. "No infirmary," he insisted. "I'm okay."

Carson sighed. "You don't look okay."

"Look," John began, only to be interrupted by Elizabeth's radio beeping.

She tapped it. "Weir here."

"Major Lorne's IDC is coming through, but we can't get verbal contact with him," Chuck informed her.

"Something must have happened," Elizabeth stated. "Open the gate!"

"NO!" John jumped to his feet, lurching to one side and grabbing the back of the seat to remain upright. "Don't open the gate! Something's wrong!"

Elizabeth stared at him like he had three heads. "What are you talking out, John? If it's Lorne's IDC, then he and his team are coming in. What's the problem?"

John locked eyes with Elizabeth, willing her to believe him. "They aren't due back for two days and we can't talk to them. Something's wrong. Atlantis feels it too. You can't open the gate."

There was a long moment of silence between them, finally broken by Chuck.

"What do you want me to do, Dr. Weir? Open the gate or not," he asked.

"Don't open the gate," Elizabeth ordered. "But stand by." She tapped off, facing John and focused on him completely. "What's going on?" she prompted.

John wished he could tell her, but it was hard to explain something he didn't understand himself. "I don't know what's wrong, but something is. Atlantis is warning me, and I had dreams. I came here searching for something."

Carson looked intrigued. "Searching for what?" he interjected.

"Damned if I know." John sighed and rubbed at his temples.

Elizabeth looked about to argue with him, when Rodney's voice filled the air.

"We have a problem!" Rodney stated, his voice crackling with fear.

"What problem?" Elizabeth asked, after tapping her ear piece.

Rodney cleared his throat then said, "I'm getting energy readings spiking all over the place. It's weird. Really weird."

John knew what it was. "That's Atlantis. She's running checks and trying to...um...keep us safe."

"What the hell is going on?" Rodney demanded, and he asked the question from the doorway of the jumper. He had a hand held sensor in one hand and he was alternately glaring at it and Sheppard.

"Good question," Elizabeth replied, looking dead on her feet. "The Colonel has yet to give me a satisfactory answer."

The first thing John did was apologize to Rodney. "Sorry if I worried you. I had a dream and...I don't know...something's wrong. Atlantis can feel it too."

Chuck interrupted them again. "We have an incoming message, Dr. Weir. I think you might want to see this."

"We're on our way," Weir said, tapping her earpiece. She looked at John. "Maybe it's Lorne."

"Maybe," he allowed. He was worried about the major and his teammates. John couldn't shake the bad feeling that was curling in his stomach. Something was terribly wrong. He let Carson steady him as they made their way out of the jumper bay and into the nearest transporter. The way Rodney was glaring at him wasn't helping matters any either. "I really am sorry," John whispered to him.

Rodney harumphed, arms folded over his chest, expression grim. But a moment later he slumped and nodded. "Yeah, I know. But stop doing stuff like this. You're giving me gray hairs!"

John didn't respond to that because they had reached their destination. A moment later they were grouped in front of Chuck's console, eyes locked on the video screen. It flickered then Lorne's face came into view. His pale and battered face. Before anyone could respond, Lorne was pulled away and Ronon stood in his place, just as battered. A moment later it was Teyla staring at them.

"Oh my god..." Rodney whispered, looking horrified.

"Gods are funny creatures," drawled a deep voice from the screen. Then a familiar face appeared.

John felt the air leave his lungs in a rush, feeling like someone had slugged him in the solar plexus. He stared at the face then breathed, "Kolya."

THE END

Authors' note: I know what you're thinking. "This is not an ending. What's wrong with you guys?" And you're right, it's really not. This was turning into the Neverending Story, so we decided to cut it into two stories. I wanted to end this one with chapter 23, but Merlin thought we should leave you at a cliffhanger, like the show does. So we went with that. The story will pick up with the sequel (of sorts) called Fade to Black and we should start posting in a few days – I just need to some proofing and minor repair work. Thanks to everyone still reading and/or reviewing. Bye, ya'll.