Disclaimer: Yeah we all know I don't own Harry Potter; I just like to borrow the characters and make them do dirty things lol .

WARNING: Extreme violence & Sexual content.


To my love: Harry

I can't take it anymore; my life, my envies nature, my hidden feelings . . . everything. I no longer feel cheerfulness nor do I feel grief. It's pure pain, all the time. I blame you, my love. For hating me as I hate you and for loving me as I love you. I could never tell you my feelings or tell you that I in fact feel the same pain as you. I do not regret my love for you; I regret my existence in this world. Please remember me fondly after the pain dulls.

Forever yours,

Draco Malfoy

Draco stared down at the letter in his hand, he had meant to send it so many times but couldn't bring himself too. He thought that perhaps Harry would be better off without knowing what he truly felt. The last thing he wanted was to cause Harry more pain. He cringed looking at the words that had spilled out onto the page.

He was determined to end his life but something had stopped him, something in the pit of his stomach that wouldn't let up. He loved Harry, with every fiber of his soul and for some reason he couldn't accept the fact that he would never be with him. So many emotions were agonizing, blood rushed to his head in a slip second giving him an automatic headache. He knew what he had to do.


Harry was covered in pure sweat, his body shaking all over. Once again, another nightmare but this time it wasn't about Lord Voldemort. The very last person he would have thought to be in his dream; Draco Malfoy. Harry sat up and glanced around the room which was completely dark. He could hear the soft breaths of Ron in the bed across the room. Harry turned on the lamp next to him and wiped the sweat off across his face.

He then recalled the dream; everything was black and white, absolutely no color at all. Draco was lying down in the middle of the street people just passing a long completely ignoring the dying boy. Harry could tell by his face that he was in pain; everything was mute so he could only try to read his lips. Then the word traced across his lips "Potter" He ran over to him and lifted him up in his arms.

He was trying to tell Harry something but he was fading. Harry looked down at Draco's arm that was savagely torn apart. A pool of blood filled the sidewalk and Draco's silver eyes were now a shade of black. And for the first time in Harry's life he saw a tear past down Draco Malfoy's face.

Harry looked up to see Ron had woken up.

"Harry, are you alright?" He said sounding concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a bad dream." Harry said turning out the light and pulling the covers back over his head.


Draco walked to the bathroom making sure he didn't wake anyone up. He looked at himself in the mirror, he looked terrible; his eyes were lined with black as though he hadn't slept in days, his face had gone deathly pale and he was shaking all over. He let his head drop breathing in and out steadily and looked at the razor in his right hand and placed the note to Harry on the sink. The blade was brand new and the shining silver made Draco's eyes gleam. He rolled up his sleeve and stared down at his pale skin with scars all up and down his arm, some that were years old. He told himself that he wasn't going to cry but there was no stopping himself. The first tear fell down from his eyes and landed on his arm. Completely frustrated with himself he slashed his arm deeply blood spilling out instantly on the floor. He automatically became dizzy and fell to the floor.


The next morning Harry woke up to someone knocking at the door. It must have not been a Gryffindor otherwise they would have just said the password. Ron was a heavy sleeper so he didn't even flinch. Harry looked over at the clock that read 6:30. It was far too early for breakfast. He climbed out of bed stumbling a few times before reaching the door. He opened it to see Blaise, Draco's right hand man standing there with rage filled eyes.

"Blaise?" Harry said slightly confused.

"Potter, you had better come with me." He said leaning against the door.

"What? Why? It's 6:30 in the morning." Harry said rubbing his eyes.

"I don't care! You need to come now. Draco is in the hospital."