The Game of Life
Surprisingly, I haven't played Super Paper Mario yet. I want it, but I don't have a Wii (I'm not too happy about the prospect of having to buy a whole new gaming system). The most I've seen of it was reading the strategy guide, but I never knew that much about the story or anything.
But that's what Wikipedia is for! X3
So now I know all about the radical story and the loveable characters, especially one baddie in particular: Dimentio.
I liked Dimentio even before I learned more about him. I saw his pic in the strategy guide, and I was all, 'Aw, he's so colorful and cute!' Cause I like the colorful, cute characters, ya know. And not only did I find out that he was a badical jester who uses 'ciao' (already awesomeness) but he's also a psychopath and one of the deadliest baddies in the game!
AWESOMENESS! X3
Sadly, there aren't too many Super Paper Mario fics, let alone Dimentio fics, so I decided the evil little cutie deserved a oneshot. I hope I got Dimentio's character (and all the rest) right...
Have fun!
To Dimentio, life has always been a game.
Oh, sure, he hasn't always been the megalomaniacal, cruel, manipulative monster he is today-
Well, no, not really. That's a lie.
He has always been a scheming little fiend, but not always on such a large scale.
It started out simple, with- what else- a game.
He was bored and seeking amusement, so he decided to play around a bit- play a game- and have some fun.
Some fun soon turned into a lot of fun. He spent every moment of his continuously-increasing game time in a reverie of bliss.
When he got bored of playing by himself, he began seeking down opponents, and his hunger for the joy of gaming only grew, fixated upon a new delicacy: winning games.
The feeling that victory was near and inevitable, the look of horrified shock on his opponent's face when they realized they'd been beaten, watching their play fall to pieces…
Oh, what fun, what fun!
Although he never got bored of games, and never got bored of winning, he became bored of his opponents. And bored was a quality most unbefitting of a jovial fellow like himself, so he decided to do something about it.
He needed to bump things up a level.
So he turned the world into his own little game: a game where he was the master, all others his pawns.
This new game- it was exactly what he needed! It offered something unique, something unlike any game he had ever played.
The feeling of victory became dominant conquest, the looks of horror became pain and despair, and he could watch things fall apart in an entirely new way, a way full of refreshing adrenaline and twisted delight; a way he could only experience through this destruction, gaming at its highest, most lively form.
After all, what could be more lively than playing with people's lives?
Oh, what fun…
"Hey, Chunks!"
"GAUAGH!"
That lumbering ape O'Chunks is completely caught off-guard by the loud bang and sudden burst of multicolored confetti, and the jester snickers at his alarmed expression.
Dimentio has gotten bored, so he's experimenting with a new entry tactic. So far, he's gotten mixed results; Count Bleck had been amused, but ordered the jester to leave him to his plotting; Nastasia had not been amused, and told him to beat it or risk punishment; and Mimi had squealed, then commented that she wouldn't be caught dead using such a stupid-head technique (though Dimentio had found her practicing said stupid-head technique in what she thought was privacy shortly thereafter, the little brat).
As usual, the muscle-bound thug's fright (he's always been unnerved by the eerily-grinning jester) turns to anger.
"Why ya lil' pest, I'll break off yer head an'-"
Dimentio springs easily out of O'Chunks' head-breaking range. "So, Chunky-boy, fancy a game?"
O'Chunks pauses, looking puzzled- the expression suits him quite well. "Why would I wanna play a game with ye, ya lil' cacklin' demon?"
"Well, if you beat me," Dimentio says smoothly, knowing that there is no way in the world that anyone, let alone O'Chunks, can beat him, "it would be a nice way of getting back at me, wouldn't you say?"
O'Chunks doesn't look persuaded.
"And, to spice things up a bit, we can put a little wager on it!"
The big lug's beady eyes immediately light up. "Fine, 's long 's I con be the one choosin' th' terms!"
Look at him, he thinks he's clever, Dimentio muses wickedly.
In that empty little head, he probably thinks that he can raise the stakes and win it all!
What an idiot.
"When I win th' game, laddie," O'Chunks continues, now swaggering like he's already won, "ye have ta stop pesterin' me with yer paltry lil' tricks! Ha!"
"And if you lose?" Dimentio coos innocently.
"Ha, fat chance!"
"Okay, then I'll set the stakes on that one. If you lose, my addle-brained buddy, then you'll have to filch Mimi's barrettes."
The color drains from O'Chunks' square face. "Ya mean…th' lil' ones with th' red hearts?"
"Exactly," Dimentio replies, struggling to keep his voice from cracking with dark joy.
"T-Those be- gulp- the lil' lassie's favorites…She stops with all 'er sugars and rainbows once ye trifle with those, laddie!"
"I know. But big men like us can handle big bets, right, O'Chunks?"
But he doesn't wait for an answer.
"Well then, let's play!"
Reclining in his chair, watching O'Chunks struggle to stay playing, Dimentio grins and hums a little song to himself. What fun!
Because, to Dimentio, life has always been a game.
And one he always wins.