Author: herebutnotremembered
Summary: For the first few months, Dean had decided that he didn't want a brother. Then Sam smiled at him.
Disclaimer: The boys are not mine, the idea is.
Dean watched as his mom bounced the baby on her lap, trying to trick him into smiling for her. He watched from the couch with his little arms crossed and his eyes narrowed. Mary made faces at the little bundle but Dean heard nothing and judging from the look on his mommy's face, Sam hadn't given her a smile.
The baby had been home for a few weeks now and in that short time, the whole world had tipped upside down. Daddy was working longer and when he came home his first question was always regarding Mary's physical health or the well being of the baby. Dean clenched his fists as he realized that he now ranked third in the household, according to his father. He turned his gaze away from his mother and baby brother to watch the t.v. again.
"Come on Sam, smile for mommy?" Mary asked but the infant just wriggled in her arms, clearly bored with the whole concept. Dean rolled his eyes, he knew how the kid felt, the effort was positively boring to watch. "Oh I just don't know what to do with him Dean," she despaired as she got up, with the baby to leave the room. "You could take him back," Dean grumbled under his breath as he watched his mother retreat.
He thought that having a brother would be just the change the family needed. Something he could play with and teach things to, not something that just laid around and cried all the time. He didn't know why, but he just couldn't stand it when Sam cried at night, or any time really. If the baby even started to sob, Dean always felt this tug in his chest, something he hadn't felt before and was sure it was never meant to be there at all. He didn't know why the baby's cries had such an effect on him, especially when he didn't even like the little thing.
He decided to let it go for now.
From his spot on the steps, Dean watched as his parents engaged in yet another attempt to make the baby smile. This time photography was involved, and Dean sulked a little at the thought that his parents never took his picture anymore. No, everything was about the baby now. He rested his chin in his hands, his elbows propped up on his knees, and watched the scene before him.
Mary stood with Sam in her arms, while John gently tickled the baby under his arms. The playful demeanor of his parents was getting no response from the infant, and Dean was counting the minutes until they finally gave up. "Dean come here," John called as he waved a hand at his eldest. Dean sauntered over and sighed as John picked him up and held him close to Mary and Sam.
Dean didn't see what the big deal was, Sam didn't look like anything special. His features were tiny and squished, like his face was just too small to hold them. His eyes were green, bright and inquisitive, like Dean's. He had a regular mouth, small and red, and Dean wondered why Sam seemed to like to stick things in it. No, he didn't see what was so important about this little person that his parents just had to devote all of their time to.
Nearly four months had gone by and Dean was now used to this little creature that came into his life. He helped his mommy feed him sometimes and even found himself doing things for him. A fallen toy, a discarded blanket, even if Sam needed something to put into his mouth, Dean was there with a willing thumb.
It had been a routine night for the family, Sam to bed, Dean to bed, parents down stairs. This night however, Dean found he just couldn't get his eyes to stay closed. He'd played a lot today and so he was a bit confused as to why he couldn't sleep. He sat up in bed, frustrated with himself and angrily threw off the covers.
He didn't know what made him do it, but he found himself entering Sam's nursery and closing the door behind him. He just wanted to look at the baby, that was all. No harm in that, right? He didn't think so, so he wandered quietly over to the crib. He lowered the crib's side down gently, but his stealth was not required, for he found himself gazing into open green eyes.
He wondered if Sam was awake when they were all asleep often and found it a lonely thought. He didn't want Sam to feel alone, especially at night. "Hey Sam," he greeted and was rewarded with a tiny baby noise that made him grin. Sam made the funniest noises sometimes. "What are you doing awake huh? Don't you know its nighttime?" he smiled warmly at the little baby and put his hand on Sam's little baby one. It was warm and tiny and moved to curl all of the fingers around Dean's index finger.
Dean couldn't remember ever feeling needed before, but now, with his baby brother's hand squeezing his finger, he knew what it felt like. "I couldn't sleep," he said and watched Sam for a reaction. The baby just wriggled a little bit, kicking at his blanket until Dean uncovered him a little. "That better?" he asked and wondered why he was talking to a baby who probably had no idea what he was saying. He looked Sam in his eyes and thought that maybe he did somehow.
"You know, you're ok for a baby, I mean, at least you're not a girl right?" Dean said as he patted the baby's belly. Sam made a little noise and Dean watched as the corners of his mouth tugged upward a little. Was this what Dean thought it was? He watched but then it was gone. What had done that? He moved his hand back to the baby's stomach and tapped his fingers up and down the cotton clad belly. The baby wriggled and Dean could swear his eyes lit up.
"Sam? Are you ticklish? Right here?" Dean asked teasingly as he tickled the baby's tummy lightly. He felt his heart just explode with delight when Sam giggled. The baby was smiling! Not only smiling, but laughing! Dean had made Sam laugh! He couldn't believe it and as he watched his little brother squeal in happiness, he couldn't believe how good it made him feel to know he caused it.
"That tickles huh?" Dean asked with a smile so wide, he thought his face might break. He tickled the baby again and laughed right along with him in delight. Sam's laughter was like music, light and contagious and you just had to sing along. Dean held his stomach as he watched Sam settle down.
It seemed that Dean had worn the little baby out, as Sam started to close his eyes and drift off quickly. Dean watched as his little brother fell asleep, his hand still clenching tightly to Dean's. "That's it Sammy, go to sleep," Dean encouraged and smoothed the baby's hair back with his free hand. Ok, maybe the baby wasn't such a bad thing after all.
When Dean was confident that Sammy was asleep, he pulled his finger from the baby's grasp and gave him a light kiss on his forehead. He thought about all the times he'd wished Sammy away and felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He smoothed the baby's hair again and whispered lightly, "don't you leave me Sammy." He moved away from the crib and tiptoed out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.
He crept back to his room and laid down on his bed again, suddenly feeling tired. He closed his eye and Sammy's little face appeared in his mind. That smile was dazzling, and Dean reveled in the knowledge that he was the one to bring it to the surface, for the first time. He knew right then that he was taken, always and forever.
All because Sammy smiled at him.
Ok, thanx for reading guys. Title was taken from a song by Vanessa Carlton, idea…just came outta no where really. Umm, review if you like, I love to hear from y'all, and I hope you enjoyed this!