L, Misa, and Raito Go to Candy Mountain
By: KitKat411
Author's Notes: Crack. This story is pure crack. Caffeine plus Studying for Finals plus Boredom equals This story. This is why I don't write crack fics. Just so you are warned! Aha. Just kidding. I hope you like this. Oh, and their thoughts don't fit in well with the actual song, so they are in bold. Severe OOC warning.
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L: Hey, Raito-kun! Hey, Raito-kun, wake up!
Misa-Misa: Yeah, Light, you silly sleepy-head, wake up!
Raito-kun/Light: Ugg…oh God, you guys. This had better be pretty freaking important. Is the building on fire?
L: Noo, Raito-kun, we found a map to Candy Mountain! CANDY Mountain, Raito!
Misa-Misa: Yeah, Light, we're going to Candy Mountain! come with us Lightee!
L: Yes, Raito-kun, it will be an adventureee, we're going on an adventure Raito-kun!
Light: Yes…Candy Mountain. I'm just going to…you know…go back to sleep now.
Since you kept me up all night, you stupid insomniac…
L: Noo, Raito-kun, you have to come with us to Candy Mountain!
Or else the possibility of you being Kira increases by twelve percent…
Misa-Misa: Yeah, Light! Candy Mountain! It's a land of sweets! And joy! And…joy…ness!
Raito-kun/Light: Please stop bouncing on me…
L: CANDY MOUNTAIN, Raito-kun!
Misa-Misa: Yeah, Light! Candy Mountain!
Raito-kun/Light: All right, fine. I'll go with you to Candy Mountain.
Misa-Misa: La la la la la!
Raito-kun/Light: Enough with the singing already!
Misa-Misa: Misa-Misa thought Light liked her singing…
L: Our first stop is over there, Raito-kun.
Raito-kun/Light: Oh God, what is that?
L: It's a Shinigami, Raito-kun
Misa-Misa: A MAGICAL Shinigami, Light
L: It's going to guide our way to Candy Mountain, Raito-kun
Raito-kun/Light: All right, you guys know that there is no such thing as Candy Mountain, right?
L: Shun the non-believer!
Misa-Misa: Shunnnnnnnn
L: Shunnnnnnnnn
Shinigami: Hyuk, hyuk! Apples!
L: It has spoken!
Misa-Misa: It has shown us the way!
Raito-kun/Light: It didn't say anything.
What the hell are you guys smoking?
L: It's just over this bridge, Raito-kun
Misa-Misa: The magical bridge of hope and wonder!
Raito-kun/Light: All right, is anyone else getting, like, covered in splinters? Seriously guys, we shouldn't be on this thing.
L: Raiiiiito-kun! There is a seventy-three percent chance he can't hear me. I'd better call him again. Raiiiiiito-kun! Raiiiito-kun! Raiiii-
Raito-kun/Light: I'm right here. What do you want?
L: We're on a BRIDGE, Raito-kun!
L: We're here!
Raito-kun/Light: Well what do you know; there actually is a Candy Mountain.
It figures L won't leave for anything BUT a magical Candy Mountain…
Misa-Misa: Go inside the Candy Mountain, Light!
L: Yes, Raito-kun, go inside the cave. Magical wonders will behold you when you enter.
Raito-kun/Light: Yeah…thanks, but no thanks. I'm going to stay out here.
All right, so it exists. That doesn't mean I'm entering the Magical Cavity Mountain…
Misa-Misa: But you have to enter the Candy Mountain cave, Light!
Raito-kun/Light: No, actually, I don't.
Hey…what's going on? What's with all the letters…?
Misa-Misa: Ooh, look Light! The letter Y is serenading you!
L: Misa-Misa can prounounce the word "serenade"? There was a eighty-seven percent chance that she couldn't say anything but her name…Hmm! This PROVES she is the Second Kira!
C-a-n-d-y: ( music ) Oh when you're down and looking for some cheering up,
then just head right up to the Candy Mountain cave!
When you get inside, you'll find yourself a cheeeery land!
Such a happy and joy-filled and perky merry land.
They have lollipops and gummy drops and candy things,
Oh so many things that will brighten up your day,
It's impossible to wear a frown in Candy Town!
It's the Mecca of lovely candy cave..
They have got jelly beans and coconuts with little hats, candy mats, chocolate bats, its a wonderland of sweets,
Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band, candy bells, its a treat as they march across the land,
Cherry ribbons stream across the sky and into the ground,
Turn around, it astounds, its the dancing candy tree,
and the candy cane's Imaginations runs so free!
So now Light please will u go into the cave?
Light: Alright fine, I'll go into the freakin Candy Mountain. This had better be good…Just shut the hell up already or I'll whip out my Death Note. Hmm…I wonder if I can kill the singing Y. Can letters have heart attacks?
L: Goodbye, Raito-kun!
Misa-Misa: Yeah, goodbye Light!
Raito-kun/Light: Goodbye? What? (Door closes) What's going on here? Hello? (Footsteps) Who is that? (Sounds of a club)
A few moments later…
Raito-kun/Light: (Wakes up) Oww! God, what happened in there? (Pause)Ahh! They took my friggin Death Note.