A/N July 11: Only grammar changes in this one.

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"What's with the hat?" Tamaki asked his neighbor in line.

"I d-dunno," stammered the terrified first year. Weather this was because of Tamaki or because of the immanent sorting, who knows? But we won't tell Tamaki that.

Kyoya knew, but was too busy looking at the teachers from their place at the front of the room to notice. Seated at the end was a woman who seemed to be lax in the hygiene department given the dirt under her fingernails. She must be Professor Sprout. Hmmm…Sprout? A herbolgogy teacher? It was too convenient. That couldn't possibly be her real name. Kyoya made a note in his journal to take a look at her history. He went down through the teachers, making occasional notes to remember various things. Then he got to the old man that had invaded his bedroom and started this entire thing. The man had an odd glint in his eye, and for the first time Kyoya wondered if he might not be able to control the situation. Yeah, right. He was just a crazy old man. His appraisal of the teachers continued, next to Dumbledore was a woman that many of the students seemed to be staring at. He made a note to find more information about her. He continued on until he reached a rather oily man that rather resembled a bat. Kyoya immediately shock his head at himself for thinking such a thought. But nevertheless, it was true.

He looked up to see that Tamaki had started a bit of a panic about the hat, making claims that it would eat people's brains, or steal their souls. Ridiculous. Not that what the hat did do wasn't scary all on it's own, he had to go and make preposterous statements about it. "The hat just looks into your mind and decides where you best belong," everyone stared at him for a moment, "That's it."

"Ohhh," said Haruhi, "That's clever!"

Kyoya made a note to get Haruhi to stop saying that all the time.

The hat on the stool made a noise, getting everyone's attention, "If I may begin?" it asked, its brim opening and closing.

"Proceed," Kaoru and Hikaru said in unison.

The hat muttered something along the lines of: "Alright then, I will if it's okay with your majesties…" before shaking itself a little and bursting out into song:

"In times of old, when I was new,
And Hogwarts barely started,
The founders of our noble school
Thought never to be parted.
United by a common goal,
They had the selfsame yearning
To make the world's best magic school
And pass along their learning.
'Together we will build and teach'
The four good friends decided.
And never did they dream that they
Might some day be divided.
For were there such friends anywhere
As Slytherin and Gryffindor?
Unless it was the second pair
Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw,
So how could it have gone so wrong?
How could such friendships fail?
Why, I was there, so I can tell
The whole sad, sorry tale.
Said Slytherin, 'We'll teach just those
Whose ancestry's purest.'
Said Ravenclaw, 'We'll teach those whose
Intelligence is surest'
Said Gryffindor, 'We'll teach all those
With brave deeds to their name.'
Said Hufflepuff, 'I'll teach the lot
And treat them just the same'
These differences caused little strife,
When first they came to light.
For each of the four founders had
A house in which they might
Take only those they wanted so.
For instance, Slytherin
Took only pure-blood wizards
Of great cunning just like him.
And only those of sharpest mind
Were taught by Ravenclaw
While the bravest and the boldest
Went to daring Gryffindor.
Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest.
And taught them all she knew.
Thus, the houses and their founders
Maintained friendships firm and true.
So Hogwarts worked in harmony,
For several happy years.
But then discord crept among us
Feeding on all our faults and fears.
The Houses that, like pillars four
Had once held up our school
Now turned upon each other and
Divided, sought to rule.
And for a while it seemed the school
Must meet an early end.
What with dueling and with fighting
And the clash of friend on friend.
And at last there came a morning
When old Slytherin departed
And though the fighting then died out,
He left us quite down-hearted.
And ever since the founders four
Were wittled down to three
Had the houses been united,
As they were meant to be.
And now the sorting hat is here
And you all know the score:
I sort you into houses
Because that is what I'm for.
But this year I'll go further
Listen closely to my song.
Though condemned am I to split you,
Still I worry that it's wrong.
Though I must fulfill my duty
And must quarter every year,
Still I wonder whether sorting
May not bring the end I fear.
Oh know the perils, read the signs,
The warning history shows
For our Hogwarts is in danger,
From external deadly foes.
And we must unite inside her,
Or we'll crumble from within.
I have told you, I have warned you.
Let the sorting now begin!"

The hall was quiet for a moment, then a few scattered applause broke out, led by Dumbledore.

"Wow!" said Hunny, clapping loudly from atop Mori's shoulders, "that was amazing!"

Than a tall, thin Professor walked up and unrolled a long line of parchment, "Abercrombie, Euan!" she called.

He walked up and put the hat on his head, "Gryffindor!" the hat shouted.

"Ohhh…" said Haruhi and Hunny at the same time. For different reasons, of course.

The teacher continued the list, all the way through some girl named Rose (Hufflepuff), before announcing, "This year we are privileged to host some exchange students from Japan! Due to cultural differences they will be staying in their own wing, but will take classes with their houses. Please treat our visitors with respect and courtesy! First our seventh years! Please approach to be sorted…Mit-suk-u-ni Ha-nin-oz-uk-a?" she said, garbling the name horribly.

"No, silly!" announced Hunny, running up to the stool, "Mitsukuni Haninozuka! People call me Hunny! Pleased to meet you!" he said, bowing to the school, rabbit in his arms.

Several people tried to get up and bow back, causing a few benches to overturn. There had been quite a bit of whispering ever since McGonagall had announced exchange students, to find out that this…boy…was a seventh year caused even more frantic whispers. The several privileged people who had met the group in Diagon Ally had most of the attention at their House Tables.

Hunny, however, ignored all of this, hopped up into the stool, and set the sorting hat on his head, little legs kicking over the side of his seat. The Hufflepuffs thought for sure that he would be one of them, so it surprised many when the sorting hat let out an almost immediate "Gryffindor!"

"Heeeeee!!!" exclaimed Hunny excitedly, running over to the wrong table, before being herded over to the right one by a kindly older Ravenclaw.

"Tak-as-hi Mo-rin-o-zuk-a," tried McGonagall, doing better, but still butchering the name.

"Takashi Morinozuka, Mori," said…Mori, nodding to the school. He walked over to the hat, placed it onto his head, and made many of the students gasp. The hat actually fit him, which was something no one had ever seen before.

"Gryffindore!" the hat called, not to the surprise of the Host Club.

"And the sixth years, first-"

"Why don't we let them introduce themselves, Minerva?" suggested Dumbledore.

"Yes," she agreed, "alphebetical order if you please."

"Ootori Kyoya," several steps, and a glasses glint later the hat declared-

"Slytherin!"

'No surprise there,' thought Haruhi, 'Kyoya being put into the cunning sneaky group.'

"And I, gentle lords and precious princesses, am Tamaki Suou!" he declared, roses appearing everywhere. The people who had not yet met him began to wonder about his sexual orientation.

"Hufflepuff!" the hat declared after several long minutes.

The girls from the table cheered with mighty gusto.

"Will the fifth years please introduce themselves?"

Haruhi stepped forward, "Hi! I'm Haruhi Fujioka! I hope we'll have a great year together!"

After several minutes of Haruhi thinking she'd rather not be in Hufflepuff, the sorting hat announced, "Ravenclaw!" Which of course made her smile as she made her way to the table with the big raven banner over it. She would get along just fine there.

"We are Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachinn!" the twins announced, once again blinding with their sparkles. The went forward and began to put the hat on their heads, only to realize that it wouldn't fit on both of their heads at once.

"One at a time boys," scolded Professor McGonagall.

"But…we do everything together," protested Kaoru.

"It's alright, Kaoru. I'm sure we'll be together. You go ahead with out me…"

"Alphabetical order please, boys."

"I'll catch up to you Hikaru."

Crying, the boy went and put the hat on. "Gryffindor!" it shouted.

"Is that real?" a girl at her table asked Haruhi, "The incest I mean?" she continued, elaborating.

"I'm not sure, you never can tell with those two," she said, thinking about their "fight".

"Gryffindor!" the hat shouted again, and Kaoru ran to his twin, embracing him tightly.

"That's four of them in Gryffindor!" protested a girl further down the Ravenclaw table, "that isn't fair!"

The old man in the middle of the table got up and gestured for silence. Amazingly enough, he got it, "To our newcomers, welcome! To our old hands-welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but it is not now! Tuck in!" As he said this all sorts of food appeared on the plates.

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Mori looked around the table he was sitting at. Several girls kept trying to talk to him, but Hunny kept them off. Thank the heavens for Hunny; otherwise he would never get any peace.

The twins were being there usual selves, feeding each other mashed potatoes, a licking gravy off of each other's fingers.

Hmmm…he was going to have to make Hunny eat something before the desserts appeared.

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Kyoya appraised his new surroundings. They were adequate. The food, of course, could be better. But it was passable. He was making several new acquaintances that could be valuable business associates later on. The only downside was that blond boy who had disrespected him on the train. He would have to take care of him.

Kyoya smiled, and the girl who had been considering talking to him suddenly decided not to.

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Tamaki was in heaven. Beautiful girls surrounded him; he had a good seat to keep an eye on his daughter, to make sure no one tried anything funny; and he was enjoying a new type of food.

Maybe he could use all of their Japanese things for a special once a month day in the new Host Club? He put that on the back of his mind to boil.

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It was halfway through the feast and Haruhi hadn't touched anything. She managed to mask it through all of the questions about Ouran, and she was happy to say that many of the girls were excited about the Host Club moving to Hogwarts. This had continued until the girl sitting kitty-corner to her had noticed that she hadn't eaten anything yet and had told everyone to back off.

"What's wrong?" asked the boy sitting next to her, "Do you need to go to the hospital wing?"

"What…" she needed a diplomatic way to put this, "What is this stuff?"

"What stuff? Ohh…the food! You've never had English food before?"

Haruhi shook her head.

"Well then," said the Indian looking girl next to her, "we'll just have to start you off with the basics!" She then proceeded to load Haruhi's plate with a little of just about everything on the table.

She poked at something, "What is this?" she asked.

"Steak and kidney pie," the boy across from her answered.

"Kidney?"

"Kidney."

It was going to be a long feast.

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The feast was almost over. When one says almost, one really means that Hunny was still downing the desserts, but he was taking so long that the House Elves had decided to clear all the plates but the one in front of him, so they could get started with the dishes.

The old man stood up again, had Kyoya called him Dumbledore? "Now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast," he said, "I beg a moment of your time for a few start of term notices. First years ought to know that the forest on the grounds in out of bounds for students-a few of our older students ought to know that that by now too.

"Mr. Flich, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time, to remind you that magic is prohibited in the corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch's office door.

"We have two changes of staff this year; we are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubby-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons; and we are delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

A small amount of applause broke out, but it was short lived.

"Quiddich try-outs will be held-" he stopped, looking at the lady-Professor Umbidge-next to him. She had stood up, apparently with the intention of making a speech. The Host Club looked around, they knew things would be more relaxed here, but surely this wasn't appropriate behavior?

Judging by the shocked looks on various students' faces, and the less-than-pleased looks on the teacher's, it wasn't. Haruhi breathed a sigh of relief. Kyoya was even more convinced that Dumbledore could not beat him.

"Thank you head-master, for those kind words of welcome!" she cleared her throat, "Well it's lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking back at me!"

'This woman is insane,' thought Kaoru, 'does anyone look happy?'

"I'm very much looking forward to getting to know you all," she continued, oblivious to the thought of those around her, "and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!" she cleared her throat again, "The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The ancient gifts that you posses are nothing…"

That's all it took for Kyoya. The Ministry was obviously interfering with the school. He pulled up his notebook and began to write furiously. This could be of use.

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A/N: I know not much happened in this chapter, but this story is going to take a while to start up.

On another note, please review! My rule is that I won't write a new chapter until I've got three reviews for the last one, and then I don't start writing until I have the time/motivation. So you'll get your chapters faster if you actually review.

Yes all of you people who "Story Alert-ed" and "Favorite Story-ed" me without reviewing, I mean you.

Thank you to everyone who did review!