Disclaimer: As chapter one, so please take it as read I mean no harm and make no money from this.

WARNING: SOME BAD LANGUAGE AND VIOLENCE SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

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'Thoughts'

"Speech"

Summary: The new Doctor's visiting….. JxOFC GxO

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WAITING

Chapter Eighteen – Eleventh Doctor

A while later Jack and the Doctor were sat in the former's office. Jack was obviously worried "she's changing so much; she's nothing like I remember her."

"The Nia we know is still in there, it's just….."

"Just what?"

"Just that something else is too" the Doctor sighed "I did some checking" he tapped his ever present sonic screwdriver "amazing what this clever little contraption can do. It would seem when she had the ECT it triggered something, not sure what. Abilities that would otherwise have lain dormant and never presented themselves most likely; all her life she would've been just like everyone else." He shook his head over the idiocy of mankind "but they gave her electro shocks; high levels and far too frequently. The consultant concerned was experimenting; trying new ways of delivering the treatment – I checked up on him; he was a real fruit loop apparently - very odd" he tapped his head.

"Of course some families objected about what was being done their loved ones; but Nia had no family, so she was one of his favourite guinea pigs." The Galifreyan shook his head once more "according to her records, which are incredibly easy to access by the way I did it all on the way here, she certainly had far more than normal levels of ECT – both in voltage and the amount of treatments; it must've been hell for her."

Jack took a deep breath and fought down the anger and frustration at not being there for her. Pictures of the child Nia had been being held down and abused by the very people who were supposed to help her, to protect her, all in the name of science sprang unwelcome to his mind; he scowled at the Doctor "we failed her."

"No, you didn't" Nia walked into the room; freshly showered and changed she looked like his Nia once more. She walked over to him, her hand grazing his shoulder; grateful beyond words when he didn't flinch at her touch. The ramifications of what she'd done tonight were only just now hitting home.

However her first thought was to reassure Jack "you really do need to stop beating yourself up about what happened to me. He doesn't" she gestured to the Doctor "it happened and he's not bothered."

"Well I am; I promised…"

She put a finger to his lips and slipped round the chair to sit in his lap; the Doctor discreetly left. "You kept your word as best you could. The Doctor and Rose were not lost, Jack. But they never once came to see if I was alright. You did; the minute you felt you could find me, you did."

"Yeah and then I left again; only for you to end up alone a short while later."

"Jack, you left because you thought I was settled - normal and happy; you didn't want to upset me or my life as you thought it was – a good thing. The irony was it nothing like what you thought you saw. Oh sure, Joe and I were fine – but not in the way most couples are; he was wary of me and what I could do. Oh I was nothing like I am now, but I was darker than I was as a kid and he sensed it."

She sighed and held his face between her hands so he had to look at her "I'd like to think that you got me here and basically refilled me with your blood when I was hurt, that you stay at mine or make me stay here, that you hug and kiss me because you love me and not because you're on some seriously major guilt trip."

He kissed her; gently at first but then with increasing passion. When they finally broke apart he leant his forehead against hers "Nia, trust me on this one thing – I love you more than anything in the world. I love you so much it scares me to death. I can't always be objective around you, you mess with my head as well as my heart; but I also couldn't imagine my life without you in it now."

She smiled and kissed his forehead "well, I feel the same about you, so that's good. You'd look pretty bloody silly if I told you I was wildly in love with Ianto instead."

"About Rhys…."

"That wasn't Rhys, Jack – not really." She sighed, got up and sat on the sofa, tucking her knees under her chin and hugging her legs, as if trying to fold herself up and away from all of what she'd done.

Her eyes took on a distant look as she tried to explain what she'd seen that was so different from the way the others had viewed him "he was….different. His DNA had been….manipulated; changed somehow" she shrugged "I don't know, but I think it came from his mother; he had vague memories of her biting his arm, there was a burning feeling and he was sick for a few days. He thought it was all some weird bad dream due to the high fever he'd had. Then there was all this black rage against Gwen that just built and built until he couldn't bear it any more…."

"You think she made him an alien; that she was still an alien?"

"No, but I think there was some alien DNA still left inside her; buried deep and still hating Gwen, just as much as the human side did. When he got upset about the split, the part of her that was still his mother; that still wanted to protect her baby boy, took control and made sure he would take revenge."

"So that was why you killed him…."

"No, I killed him because he threatened my friend and I knew he wouldn't give up until she was dead. I didn't want her spending the rest of her life looking over her shoulder; and she would've if he'd survived – the mutated DNA would've seen to that."

"What of his mother?"

She shrugged again "if I let myself, sure, I could go and kill her the same way I did her son. But that would raise too many questions with the powers that be; Rhys is one thing, his mother entirely another. She's made no move against Gwen, apart from that one time in the pub.

She appears this over protective mad old bat of a mother, but that's it. The Doctor's right, I don't want to get you into any more trouble than I've already caused you. However if she does come after Gwen too, then all bets are off and I won't be held responsible for what I'll do."

"Do you think she will?"

Nia sighed again and shook her head as if unsure of her answer "with that mad old bitch anything is possible."

Jack came and sat beside her, pulling her into his arms; she allowed herself to rest her back against his chest "Nia, what makes you like that?"

"Like when I killed Rhys and the Nuala?"

"Yeah; you're so….."

"Angry?"

"Yeah, I don't remember you being like that before."

"I wasn't" she gave a mirthless smile "but I learnt quickly that the care system didn't give a damn about me, about any of us really; I had to fight for myself to keep my stuff, to stay out of harm's way, to ensure no one messed with me. That if I wanted to stay safe then I had to be the master of my own destiny."

"You didn't think I'd come back?" He sounded a little hurt and she tutted at him.

"I wasn't sure if I'm honest Jack; but I do know you were the one I worried about all the time I did believe in you lot. I thought you'd been hurt or something; but then, when even you didn't come back I began to think they might be right.

But by then it was too late, they had 'misgivings' apparently about my already growing ability to fight, though that was more necessity than anything else. But couple that with my 'stories', my refusal to take any kind of drug treatment and the authorities felt they had no choice and I was sent for the ECT."

"Is that what's made you like you are?"

"I think so; there's…something inside me – something so full of rage that it scares me. It's like a fire that feeds off my anger and I just fight until whatever it is that's threatening me or the people I care about is dead."

"But you said you fought before…"

"Yeah, but not like now – not to the death, so to speak; before, I'd get into a fight because someone had taken my stuff or because some boy had tried it on." She shrugged "I was small for my age and some of them thought I was an easy target, I showed them I wasn't.

But after the ECT I avoided fights where I could because I knew, even then, that I might not be able to control what was inside of me; what was almost fighting to come out. I think it's me, just the darker side – the side that wants revenge, the side that doesn't want others to suffer as I did, and will do anything to ensure it doesn't happen to them."

The Doctor appeared back at the door "so, how are you feeling?"

Nia gave him a wan smile "a bit washed out to be honest; really….tired I suppose."

"Do you remember anything; anything much anyway?"

She shrugged "I remember enough to make me wonder about myself; I saw a version of Rhys that obviously no one else did. I also know that most people wouldn't be able to do what I did; nor would they want to."

"Absolute pure rage like that is rare."

"I feed the fire; I get so hot that I think one day I'll burst into flames. I get so mad that I just have to attack whatever the threat is until it's nothing more than pulp. I have to let the rage out….."

The Doctor nodded "and when it's gone?"

"I feel like I've run the London marathon….twice."

"That's the adrenalin; your body pumps out abnormally high levels. But its toxic – by all rights you should be dead by now; the mere fact that you're not says a lot about how different you are."

Nia nodded "well, I am certainly changed to the kid this guy dug out from behind a big tin wheelie bin" she patted Jack on the arm. "But, for all I think the change is mostly bad, I have to admit it's kept me safe too. It makes me see things others don't, it makes sure I fight to survive no matter the odds – all in all I'd say I'm breaking even on the pros and cons front."

The Doctor nodded; concern clear on his face as he picked his words carefully "I think you're a formidable ally, Nia; but a terrifying enemy."

"Nah" she smiled "you could take me….."

The Doctor looked more than a little concerned "you know, I'm not so sure I could…and that is the most troubling of all."