hey hey once again!!! me is back with another disfunctional chapter....god i feel sorry for people who come into the love hina section looking for a serious fic, only to stumble onto this abomination. also the i dont own the shit and dont sue me statement comes into play.
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Deadpool rolled around and around on his bed, his mind raced in his slumber of that one time he "accidentally" lit wolverine on fire with some napalm that he had found in a abandon military weapons depot. Well the fact that the other xmen saw it as theft and decided to chase him, which in turn made a very fun hide and seek and flashbang type of game. Suddenly Deadpool sat up wide eyed and screamed.
"JESUS!!! I DIDNT MEAN IT!!! I WAS JUST PLAYING AROUND WOLVIE!!!!".
The merc with a mouth looked around with a dazed look before shrugging and moving out of the bed to stretch. Dreams were funny like that, his dreams consisted of gunfire, dead people, zombies...the usual normal things. He sighed and went to the closet of this said room, or as he called it, wades room of magic!!!. The merc needed something to keep himself occupied, since the barrett was "confinscated" by Motoko, who now held it hostage. He began tossing the things that did not interest him over his shoulder.
"geranades?....M4?...RPD??? god so many decisions....maybe...yes YES!!!!".
Deadpool had found what he was looking for, and that very object was a .557 tyrannosaurus rifle. What is this weapon is you may ask? well this narrirator will exsplain!. This rifle is used to take down big game in africa and can probably mess up a elephant.
"thanks narrirator!!".
As The merc thanked his best friend and exsplainer of all his quirky outbursts, Motoko had heard his victory yell and had come to investigate.
"I THOUGHT I TOOK YOUR RIFLE!!".
Deadpool turned to her with a smile under that little old black and red mask of his before stating, "you took one of my rifles sweet cheeks, ive got like at least twenty three of those things lying around".
Motoko stared at him, before going for the rifle, only to be dodged and pushed lightly down onto the bed as Deadpool took off with laughter. She sat for a moment, collecting her thoughts before giving chase to deadpool, who booked into a nearby bathroom. The swordswoman stopped and hesitated going in, but the sound of a round going into the toilet and through the wall caused her to burst through.
"holy crap, that fucker almost got the jump on me".
Deadpool turned to her while holding the oversized hunting rifle as water splurted out from the plumbing in a fountain like manner.
"sweet cheeks! so glad your here! i need help....".
a crack across the skull from motoko's training sword was the only response he got as she dragged him down into the living room on the first floor.
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"I CANT STAND HIS OUTBURSTS NO MORE!!!".
Motoko stood infront of the whole hinata apartment rentors and most of her family, who sat by in shock. Deadpool at that very moment had taken a interest in a thread on his outfit.
"i wonder if i pull this....would my whole suit come apart?".
"ALL HE DOES IS SCREAM INSANITY AND DO INSAINE THINGS!!!".
"huh....then i would be naked.....".
"AND ALL THOSE WEAPONS COULD START WORLD WAR THREE!!!!".
"talk about alkward...naked in front of everybody here".
Motoko started to breath rapidly and deeply, her anger was just seething out of every part of her body. Deadpool! that abomination who was placed on this earth to scorn humanity just seem to enjoy the thread, which he had named chim chim. Chim chim and him were going to go to jamaica and travel the world, just him and chim chim.
"COME CHIM CHIM!!! LETS FIND SUBSTINENCE!!!".
Deadpool was about to stand, but a sword cracked across his head, causing him to sit back down.
Motoko's older sister let out a rare laugh before watching Motoko just sit down next to Deadpool, who now sat quietly.
"sister, it seems your the only one can control his outbursts.....i find this amusing".
Motoko stared at her older sister, she knew her sister was thinking, and that was never a good thing in her book.
"he seems to have exstensive knowledge of martial arts.....it seems you've found your match".
Motoko was taken back, she knew what tsuruko was now thinking.
"NO! dont even think that! he's is insaine and should be locked away!".
Tsuruko chuckled and shrugged, "come now, he's not that bad...i think he suits you".
Motoko glanced over at deadpool with pure contempt, who smiled up at her while twiddling his thumbs.
"I WILL NOT MARRY A MAN OF SUCH....DERANGEMENTS!".
Deadpool thrusted his fist into the air, "HELLS YEAH! I LOVE SWEET CHEEKS!!".
Tsuruko looked witha smile at Motoko, who was on the edge of tearing apart everyone and everything in the room to shreds. Naru sighed out of frustration, Deadpool was getting on her short nerves. She looked up at the merc with a mouth, who was starting to do a little dance, but Motoko ended that little sharade with another crack from her training sword.
"i warn you Deadpool, your little antics will be the death of you...do you understand me?".
What she got as a reply was another round fired from the oversized rifle into the wall, which knocked his shoulder out of socket, which in turn sent the rifle back behind him and over the couch, landing on the floor.
"...........hey sweet cheeks....could you pop this back in for me?".
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After relocating Deadpool's right shoulder, which required some effort, Motoko went to the hotspring within the school to think.
"why must she suggest such things, the man is clearly out of his mind....".
The funny thing was, her older sister was right. She seemed to be the only one who could keep the merc under some sort of control. He could actually go out into public if she were in the facinity of him. As Motoko thought about it, That certain merc came into the hotspring, he seemed to be pointing a colt 1911 .45 handgun at his face at eye level while slapping the back of it with his other hand.
"huh...i swear to god something went in there....".
Deadpool looked over at Motoko as he tossed the handgun, it went off and left a hole in the aged fence.
"hey sweet cheeks! mind if i join you!?".
Motoko stood, her eyes were on fire as she went for her sword. Deadpool watched with a puzzled look on his face.
"aww come on missy, we'll play marco polo!".
Deadpool smiled under his mask as she cracked the sword across his skull, knocking him into the water. She then went back in the water to sulk as he floated around, watching him with a content look on her face. After about thirty to fourty seconds of floating, Deadpool stood up in the water and laughed.
"sweet cheeks, i know you and everyone have invested alot of time, effort and pointy things in me and i hope one day we'll get along and raise a fami-".
Motoko leaped at him and slammed him to the ground, she began to swing her fists at him, trying to do him harm.
"why!!! I'm tired of dealing with you! ALL YOU DO IS CAUSE US TROUBLE!!!!".
Deadpool wrapped his around her and said with a smile "i love you too Motoko!!!".
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Motoko came rushing out of the hotspring, she had hastily grabbed her clothing and left in a hurry. Deadpool came out afew secounds later, missing his left arm.
"Come on sweet cheeks! least you can do is give me a hand and help me find it!".
Deadpool groaned and went back out into the hotspring to find his missing limb, she had to cut it off really. It wasnt his fault that his hand "accidentally" slipped down during that little rough housing and touched her butt.
The merc with a mouth reentered the school with his arm in his right hand, he then sighed "now i know she wants me....she would of cut off my head if she didnt".
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Shes had it, that man had somehow crawled his way into her mind. Every time she thought it was always of some way to get rid of him. Other times it was of how to get him out of trouble when he "accidentally" lit something..or someone on fire. She told herself that she was getting used to babysitting him...but that made her even more mad at herself.
Slowly the youngest Aoyama drug herself into her room and slid the door shut behind herself. Deadpool...Wade.....either way she was getting used to him.
"my god....I...".
Motoko threw her sword down on the ground in frustration, she couldnt be...with that man. She looked at the mirror in her room, he had already defeated her in combat. Motoko groaned to herself, "this had to happen again....".
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Deadpool strolled through the halls of the school, which was being reconstructed because of his little antics. The damage was quite small, except for the fact that Deadpool made the kitchen his new "garage". Of course getting the VW van through the window was difficult, but the kitchen counters were great for storing weapons and parts for said very annoying colored van.
"well might as well get to work".
The merc with a mouth went over to a beat up old crappy 1980's style boom box that he stole from some place that had a sign say "orphanage" out front. Its speakers began blaring a some eighties glam rock band with kickin guitar solo's as Deadpool began to have his own eighties movie montage of sorts. He began to work on the van of...well hippie things, as the scenes faded in and out as he work on other things in the van.
~five hours later!!!!~
Deadpool wiped his hands clean and looked at his acomplishment, the annoying yellow van had now turned into a...well a annoying black and red van. Motoko had appeared seconds later to see what the merc was up to.
".....wheres the roof?".
The merc turned with a smile and said "ive always wanted a convertable".
Motoko sighed, a convertable VW van....thats a first. The driver seat was also replaced with a racing bucket, for performance.
"dont worry sweet cheeks...someday our slightly disfunctional family will travel the lands of japan in this fabled sixties hippie van!".
Deadpool whipped a handgun from its holster and was going to fire it off into the ceiling, but Motoko took the inititive and cut the barrell off with her sword.
"NNNNNOOOO!!!! that was my favorite gun!!".
Another crack from Motoko's sheath knocked the sad and upset merc to the ground.
"Damn you DEADPOOL!".
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Deadpool woke up four hours later in his designated room, which was a very dingy closet that Motoko got Keitaro to move him into.
"......i had a dream about kids and sweet cheeks.....i usually want to destroy children....weird".