Copyright KBrogan2007

ST. GROBIAN

CHAPTER 1

A T. REX TOO MANY

The conception of my daughter was more like a vague chance encounter than the culmination of some beautiful relationship. In fact, my relationship with her father lasted four hours, long enough to get drunk, screw, get sober and feel sheepish. When I found out that I was pregnant I had trouble remembering where or when I had been with someone. I truly had a hard time remembering even doing the deed, that's how meaningless it had seemed to me at the time. I had a harder time remembering facts about my daughter's father. I had been so sure that he was a small blemish on my life that I hadn't bothered to file any information about him in that part of the brain where you can retrieve it easily. When the pregnancy test came back positive I sat down to think about that night just six weeks ago.

"What are you drinking?" He asked from his perch at the bar. I noted quickly that his hair was a wavy reddish brown. His face was clean shaven but long; his body was thin but nicely proportioned.

"T. REx." I was nervous, waiting for my college boyfriend to show up. I was in San Diego for the First Symposium on Mesozoic Terrestrial Ecosystems and Biota. My college boyfriend, Calvin Jones, was a professor in Microbiology at UCSD. Neither of us had married in the six years since we had last seen each other. When I called him to let him know I was in town, he seemed happy and had suggested we meet up at 101 Galileo at 8:30 pm across from the convention center.

I had spent the longest time trying to figure out which of the few articles of clothing I had brought I should wear. I fingered the blue shirtdress and then the black trousers and black shirt. I decided to go with the blue shirtdress. I buttoned it up and looked at my reflection. I needed makeup, at least to highlight my light colored eyelashes. After applying makeup, I looked at my watch and saw that it was 8:20 pm. I whipped out the door and down Fifth Avenue, through the Gas Lamp District, and over to the newer set of buildings that faced Harbor Drive. Now it was 9:00pm and no sign of Calvin, just a stranger wanting to know what I was drinking.

My excitement over the rendezvous was quickly slipping into that mixture of disappointment, embarrassment and anger. Normally, I'd be flattered or disturbed by a guy trying to make a pass at me, but in my disappointment over Calvin, I couldn't care less. I finally stopped watching the door and turned to concentrate on him. He was good looking, well dressed, with beautiful, luscious, bewitching blue eyes.

"What are you drinking?" I asked in return.

"You want to buy me a drink? I like it when blondes buy me drinks."

I threw my head back a little and laughed. "No, I was just trying to be polite."

"I'm drinking whiskey, neat. Sure you don't want to buy me a drink? I'm a cheap date. It just takes one to get me in bed."

I laughed again. "I'm sorry, but at ten bucks a drink I can't afford it."

He knitted his forehead and narrowed his eyes. "You're not a doctor?"

I was surprised by that question, "I am a doctor, but not a medical doctor. Is that what you meant?"

"What type of doctor are you?"

"Paleontology."

"You're a dinosaur doctor?"

"Uh, yeah. And you?"

"M.D."

"Oh, is there a convention in town?" I asked. I thought he looked like a doctor; he had that intelligent look of superiority a lot of doctors have.

He nodded as he picked up his drink and spoke into his glass, "Infectious Disease Symposium." He swallowed, put the glass down and looked at the bartender. "Another whiskey and a for the lady."

"Oh, you don't have to buy me a drink."

"Are you kidding, you're the most interesting person in this bar. I've never met a pretty blonde who gets a doctorate in dinosaurs. That's the most exciting thing I've heard since I've been here."

"You don't live a very exciting life."

He lowered his eyebrows and touched his lower lip with his finger in disagreement. "I live an exciting life, just this afternoon I found a quarter on the street."

I watched his finger touch his lip and blurted, "You're fingers are incredibly long." I then realized I was staring at them. When I looked up at him he seemed perplexed. "I'm sorry for the non-sequitur, I just notice things like that sometimes and then I say the first thing that comes to mind."

"Really? I'm surprised. You seem to be such a nice young lady." The wrinkled crows feet at the corner of his eyes told me he was teasing.

"Yeah, well it's gotten me into trouble more often than not."

"Are you here on a dig?"

"No, the First Symposium on Mesozoic Terrestrial Ecosystems and Biota."

He started laughing. He looked down and tried to compose himself so he wouldn't offend me. He rubbed his hand over his mouth as if to wipe the laughter from his lips.

I tried to look serious, "Hey, we paleontologists know how to get our rocks off. Oh, no that's geologists that do that. "

He turned his head and looked at her mischievously, "You're funny. My name is Greg. I'm here from Princeton."

"Hi Greg. Maddie, from Jordan, Montana." We shook hands and I wondered if he also noticed the difference in the size of our hands. His long fingers easily wrapped around my entire hand. I looked at my watch just to confirm I had waited well past a sociably acceptable time for someone to be late. I looked up at Greg and nodded. "I'm tired. I think I'll say good night and get going."

"Oh, no! Please don't go, you're the only interesting thing here."

"You're in San Diego, certainly you can find something interesting to do in a city as beautiful as this?"

"I've had my fill of sun, sand and bikinis."

Now I laughed, "You can't have enough of bikinis, you're a man! Are you married?"

"Nope. You?"

I laughed, "No, I'm 28 and no man in sight." I motioned to the empty stool next to me.

"Oh, stood up?"

"Yeah and by someone I was sure would show. That's how pathetically optimistic I am."

"I'm pathetically pessimistic. Maybe we balance each other out to keep the world from imploding."

I drank my Tequila laden T. Rex and then he ordered me another one. I weigh 118 lbs and three T. Rex means I'm easily convinced that I should be up on a table stripping. So this is where my memory gets a little blurry. I know we talked for another hour, I know we went back to his hotel room at the Marriott. I know we had sex. He came twice, and so I think it was good for him. The phone rang and he answered it. From his soft tone and his reassuring, "I love you too," I knew he wasn't talking to his grandmother. I jumped up and started to get dressed.

He hung up, looked at me and grimmaced. "Oh, don't go. Come back to bed. Don't leave."

"You said you weren't married."

"I'm not, it's my girlfriend–" he frowned and looked away, " – we haven't been getting along very well lately. You know how it goes, I work too much and don't pay enough attention to her."

"Girlfriend? That's just as bad. I'm not into men who are taken."

He exhaled and shook his head. He frowned and started to get up. "Okay, let me get dressed and I'll make sure you get back to your hotel safely."

"Don't bother, I'm just a few blocks away." I already had my shoes in my hand, had grabbed my purse and was out of there as fast as I could run. That was my relationship with the father of my daughter. The entire volume of what I knew consisted of: Greg, doctor, Princeton, Infectious Disease Convention, tall, long fingers, and blue–oh so blue–eyes.

CHAPTER 2

TO HELL AND BACK

Jordan, Montana is the closest town to the Hell Creek Formation, a paleontologist's wet dream. It is the most intensely-studied division of Upper Cretaceous to lower Paleocene rocks in North America, named for exposures studied along Hell Creek. The Hell Creek Formation occurs in the badlands of eastern Montana and portions of North Dakota, South Dakota, and Wyoming. In the summer it's hot, dirty, and dusty. The horizon is dotted with golden red hills and valleys. In the spring there's a touch of prairie grass that covers the valleys, but by summer it's dry and the grass is brown, uninviting. In the winter, it's cold, really, really bitingly cold. It's the perfect backdrop for cowboy and Indian movies. Montana is known for its cowpokes and wranglers and Jordan, Montana had a lot of them.

Eight years ago I was an ambitious woman sporting two doctorates, in paleontology and archeology, and a desire to eventually get a cushy job teaching in a university somewhere. I had started working for the famous paleontologist, Jack Benson, as his official onsite archaeologist in Hell Creek. It was a position set up to appease the Federal and state governments as well as the native cultures in the area who were afraid that all the dinosaur digs were going to disturb and destroy native American cultural and sacred places. Jack hired me ten years ago because I could do double duty, work as a paleontologist most of the time until we came across something that required my skills as an archaeologist. When I put my archeologist hat on, I was there to assure that tribal traditions and sites were documented, catalogued and made an integral part of our field management.

It was a hot August afternoon, six weeks after the symposium in San Diego and I was working on uncovering a partial Triceratops. I was having a hard time staying awake. It was hot, dry and I was constantly sick to my stomach. I knew I was going to throw up and worried that I would do it on the portion of the site that we had just painstakingly uncovered. I ran and found a nice rock to barf behind. It wasn't a graceful action, but as I did, I saw the gleam of a small white protrusion in the brown and red dust just next to where I deposited my morning eggs and bacon.

"Jack...Jack!"

Jack came running over. "What?" He looked down and saw that I had thrown up, "Do you need help? Here, drink some water."

"No, look." I pointed down to the ground and he saw it too. He smiled. "Pretty, very pretty." He knelt down. "Girl, you just found something."

"That's great, but I've got to get back to the trailer."

"Go ahead, I'll get Kevin over here. You might just have a ..."

We looked at the bone and my eyes widened, "Velociraptor?" there was a certain shape to the cycle shaped claws of a Velociraptor that made them distinctive from other dinosaurs.

Jack was equally excited, his face beaming, "Yep. But you go back to the trailer and get well. We'll take care of this for today."

Jade came up to me, "Whoa..did you find that Maddie?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, one for the gals! You look terrible." Jade loved it when one of the women found an important find.

"I've been throwing up."

"Fever?" she asked.

"No, just tired and sick."

Jade laughed and stuck her head out and grinned, "Sounds like you're pregnant. Could you be? You seein' George again?"

"No. I'm not sleeping around." But as soon as my words left my mouth I realized that I did have sex, once, about six weeks before. It was six weeks. But I had a period. Ok, it was light, really light...but still. Could I be pregnant by...that guy? Oh, God, anyone but a stranger who was cheating on his girlfriend.

I got in my jeep and took off back to the trailer two miles away. We had our own little trailer village consisting of four travel trailers and a large command tent. Each trailer housed one of the regulars during the dig. Three of them were small trailers, nothing fancy. The last was Jack's and it was fairly large because he would frequently host us for meetings, dinners or get-togethers. Jade, Kevin and I lived in the small trailers. We did have others helping us, but they usually went back to Jordan at the end of the day or were tourists on a "fantasy archeological dig" vacation. The site for our trailers was chosen because it had a well where we could get enough water for the four of us to live. We also had a couple of propane generators. I started one up so I could run the air conditioner in my trailer.

I stepped inside my oven of a trailer and turned on the a/c, grabbing a calendar and counting the days since I had been in San Diego. It worked out to just shy of six weeks since I had carnal knowledge of "Greg the long fingered doctor of Princeton." I went to lay down and nap, but I was too nervous. I decided I better go into town and get a test or I wouldn't be able to sleep.

Jordan has a population of 387, a post office, a dozen places to eat or buy take-out food, one drug store, two grocery stores and a county office that houses the police, registrar and court. Next door to it is the post office. Jordan's claim to fame is for being close to the some of the richest dinosaur digs in the world. I walked into the drugstore and saw Perry, the town gossip and owner of the drugstore. I dreaded this. I had to buy the damn test from him at the check out counter meaning that everyone in town would know about it.

"Hey Maddie, what brings you to town?"

"Need some supplies and candy." I put the shampoo, candy, Neosporin and pregnancy test on the counter to buy.

He looked up and said, "My, my Maddie, what hornet's nest have you stirred up?"

I smiled weakly and handed him the money. On my way back to camp I stopped in and bought myself a big ol' cheeseburger and fries. When I got back to my trailer Jade and Kevin were outside in lawn chairs drinking beer.

"Where'd you go?" Kevin asked. Kevin was devilishly handsome with light brown eyes, reddish blonde hair, kind of a Robert Redford look but a little more angular. He's six foot and gets more ss than a toilet seat. I have to admit that Jade and I both had, at one time or another, found ourselves climbing out of his bed. Still, he's rather harmless and more fun than worrisome. He's four years older than me and after working together for two years, he had turned into a brother more than a former lover.

"Get some shampoo. I'm going to go take a shower and go to bed, see if I can shake this crud, good night you guys."

" "night Maddie." they all said in unison.

The next morning I peed on the stick and it didn't even take the full three minutes for it to say "YES." And that's how smart women make stupid mistakes. I spent the next seven months blaming the drinks that night, being stood up or "Greg" for not using protection, but I knew it was me. I was pregnant because I didn't act like an adult and now I was being punished.

Jack didn't see any reason for me to quit. He just let me cut back a little on the number of hour I worked in the sun. "Hell, it's not like you've got cancer. But you need to think about what you're going to do when the baby comes. You need to get a house. Living in a tiny trailer with a baby is going to get old quick."

I bought my house in Jordan for $32,000. It was a boring white clapboard house with two bedrooms. It's biggest asset was the new roof, paint and windows. The listing said it was 890 square feet, but I think that was stretching it. The bedrooms were both the same size, a miserable 11' x 10', but it was mine.

CHAPTER 3

CHUMANI

I spent the summer happily uncovering my velociraptor which my commission for discovering went to pay for my little house. By the time winter rolled around and we were wrapping up our dig for the season, I was feeling the baby kick. I was due March 22nd and that meant I would have to miss the months of April and May on the dig. I was panicking. I didn't know how I was going to make enough money to pay for everything, the delivery, the baby, my student loans and monthly expenses.

Jack came to my rescue. "You stay onsite with us and handle the cataloguing and paperwork until you can get in the field again. If we come up with some Indian stuff, then you can come out to the field and tell us what to do." I guess I must have looked relieved because he gave me a little hug, "Did you really think I would let you starve?"

"Jack, thanks. Thanks so much."

"I'm just sorry I can't help you with the medical." he was referring to the fact that, as grant workers, we didn't have medical coverage.

"I knew all this when I went into this field."

Most paleontologist and archeologist don't start making money until they've had a substantial amount of time in the field and can finally get grants or work in a University or Museum setting. The only ones who make it to that level are those with doctorates and lots of field experience. Obtaining your doctorate and getting experience in the field pretty much wipes out your twenties and early thirties.

I had one of those boring pregnancies where the worst that happened was that I had the worst case of heartburn. I found out later that the town of Jordan had a bet on who the father was of my baby. They eventually had to take the money and buy everyone a drink out of the pot since no one could ever pry the information out of me. It became the town mystery. They all thought I was protecting a married man and so speculation ran rampant as to who I could be protecting. I put down Greg Doe on the birth certificate and under "Father's Occupation" I put, 'Physician," but since I filed the certificate out in Glasgow, no one really had access to it.

It was March 26th and I was feeling like a huge pregnant cow. My last few nights had been sleepless because of the Braxton Hicks contractions. When I went into labor, I was on site cleaning some Daspletosaurus bones. Daspletosaurus is a close relative to . I was just finishing plaster jacketing and quarry mapping the find, when I felt the first twangs of labor. I went to the bathroom and saw that I had passed, "the show." I knew I had several hours to go before the pains became overwhelming, so I stayed on the job and did what I was hired to do. I was outside sitting in a lawn chair talking on the cell phone to a museum about the dig when my water broke.

I went out and found Jade, "I have to take off. Can you let Jack know?"

She knitted her brow and narrowed her eyes, "Where are you going?"

"Glasgow."

"You're in labor?"

"Yep."

She started running down the path towards Kevin and Jack, "Yeeehhhaaa!! I'm takin' the pregnant lady to the hospital...we're havin' a baby!"

There was some woopin' and hollerin' at the end of the path and the three of them came up to the staging tent. "Good luck Maddie, we'll be right behind you in a few hours."

"Thanks you guys." I turned to Jade, "I can drive myself." I'm fairly self-sufficient and hate for anyone to take care of me. Most people say that my pride and independence will be my undoing. There's no doubt that my lack of a male presence in my life is due to my inability to let someone take care of me. On the odd occasion I"ve let Jack help me, but that's because I make sure I help him back or pay his back.

"Oh no you don't! What if the contractions get bad on the way? Nah, I'm takin' ya and that's it!" She smiled broadly. I looked at Jade, she was a scrawny, tanned and weathered Montana girl in her late thirties. She had a Masters in Paleontology and had no desire to do anything but field work, just like Kevin. She had dark brown hair and hazel eyes. She was pretty, but not in the typical way. Her eyes were just a little too close together and her lips too thin and wide to be considered classically pretty. But guys liked her. She had narrow hips, long, thin legs and like all of us, she wore Wranglers, plaid shirts, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat almost 24/7.

"Okay, let's get going then." I wasn't going to argue with Jade, she was even more stubborn than me.

When we arrived at the hospital an hour later, I was dilated and ready for the labor room. The nursing staff couldn't believe that a first time delivery only took four hours from beginning to end. At the end of it they handed me this pink blanket with a howling baby and told me to hold her. I was so dead tired from working all day and then pushing a baby out, I just wanted to sleep. I was soon to learn that sleep was something I did in my past life. I was a single mother and nothing was ever going to be the same.

I looked at her yelling her head off at me. Jesus, you're a noisy one. Ten toes, ten fingers, look at those tiny fingernails! Those fingers are awfully long for your tiny little body. I guess you got them from your Dad. Your hair, what little you have, is blonde–I wonder if it will change? I kissed her hand and looked into her eyes, they were filmy and dark. I was unable to tell what they were going to look like yet.

Jade was pulling the blanket down from around her face and trying to get a peak. "What are you going to name her?"

"Chumani."

"I thought you'd pick an Irish name, why Sioux?"

"Because we get a lot of Sioux artifacts at the dig. They come through town from Fort Peck and they're always so nice. I thought it would be nice to honor them. Besides, I met a woman named Chumani, it means dewdrops. She was pretty and very nice and I always remembered how calm she seemed."

"Judging from that baby's howl, calmness isn't going to be one of her traits. She's going to be like her mom, a sh!tkicker." Jade shook her head as the baby screamed, "Come on Maddie, at least tell me what her father looks like."

"I don't want to spoil it for everyone. I can say his eyes were his best feature."

"Oh Lord, you slept with Teddy, didn't you?"

"NO! Her father wasn't from Jordan, so get your mind out of the gutter."

"I don't know why you don't tell me, I am your best friend."

"Because Jade, I really don't know him that well. It was a mistake."

"Yep, and that mistake wants to be fed."

CHAPTER 4

MONTANA GIRL

I should have known her name would be bstardized in Montana. After all, this is the town that has people with nick-names like "Mule", "Duck," "Tinkle," "Mousey," and "Pasty." By her fifth year my daughter answered to Chu-chu and only Chu-chu. It drove me nuts, I hated the name, but there wasn't much I could do. In Kindergarten, they laughed when she beat up a little boy for calling her Chumani. It was just one of several scraps I had to smooth over. She tended to get into fights when someone called or did something to her or her friends. She was her own cape crusader. Making sure that people treated each other fairly was very important to her. She had a moral compass that was unique. Her idea of what was right wasn't always what I would have thought. But she was compassionate and very good to her friends.

Her brainpower was off the charts and it made my life difficult. I had to be careful what I said at all times or she'd ask questions until I was forced to tell her everything I knew in my head about the subject. The school in little Jordan, Montana didn't know what to do with a kid in kindergarten that could read at fifth grade level and do math at sixth grade. It sounds cool, but it was a curse in many ways. She was bored, always bored. And when Chu-chu got bored, she was ornery. She'd find ways to light a fire under people that few adults would know how to do.

"Gee Mrs. Jackson, were you at Joe's last night?" My daughter smiled coyly.

"Why no Chu-chu, why do you ask?" the middle aged woman responded.

"'Cause Mama and I were comin' home and I saw Mr. Jackson's truck, you know the one with the dent in the back, parked at the bar last night." Chu-chu would smile widely and with an innocense that everyone in town bought. She could manipulate everyone but me. I knew her number.

We heard a few days later that Mr. Jackson had moved in with Terry Hayes, the newly divorced Terry Hayes. I shook my head when I heard it at the Snack Shack. I looked at my daughter, "You need to be careful what you say to people and don't give me that Miss Innocent look."

"But Mama, he's so mean to Mrs. Jackson. Now he can be mean to Miss Hayes."

I laughed. It was true, Jake Jackson was an SOB and ran around a lot on his wife. But that stopped. Katie Jackson filed for divorce and, in the end, she got his truck, the one with the dent in the back.

At school they had her attend classes with the second graders because she was creating so much havoc in kindergarten. The second grade teacher wanted to move her to third grade.

"Chu-chu's bored Maddie, we need to move her to third grade. When she's bored all she does is talk. I can't make her stop. And she throws out these funny jokes and one liners that keeps the kids laughing. She needs a special school for smart kids but there ain't one around here."

We eventually learned that you had to give her extra projects to do, papers to write, puzzles to solve or research to do or she'd disrupt the class. She was moved into third grade but even there she ended up with more work to do than the other kids, just to shut her up.

Chu-chu was gorgeous. She didn't look much like me at all. The pictures with the two of us look like we come from two different families. I'm short, average build and pretty, but nothing to write home about. I have average sized gray eyes, a little nose, white skin with freckles and I'm as short waisted as they come. My legs are nice and long for my body because my waist is so high. But I'm a bad judge of my own looks. Jade says I'm too critical of myself. Most men and women tell me I'm very pretty.

Chu-chu had better proportions than me. She had long legs, long fingers, long nose ,a sweet, petite face and killer blue eyes. Her blond hair was turning a chestnut brown. She had nice red highlights that caught your eye when her hair blew in the wind. She had the most infectious laugh. You couldn't help but laugh when she did. It was loud and natural, nothing forced about it.

I loved my daughter even though she was a handful and kept me dancing to her tune. She spent a lot of time on digs with me and despite the fact that she was easily bored, she loved being in the field and sifting through dirt with me. She liked putting the bones together like a puzzle. By the time she was seven, my daughter could run rings around grad students when it came to putting together the skeleton structure of most dinosaurs.

We would get interns and fellows join us on digs and my daughter would quiz them and, if they did poorly, announce to everyone at the site that the new grad student was, "long in jeans and short in brains." Of course by the end of the day my daughter was apologizing under the threat of having everything she loved dearly taken away from her.

Chu-chu and I were very close. She often climbed in bed with me and we'd talk about all the things children like to talk about. She wanted to know about her father and it made me sad that I couldn't tell her more. So, I told her what I did know and made other things up.

"Was he handsome?"

"Yes, he was very handsome. He had beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous long fingers. He played the violin with those lovely fingers."

"Was he short, tall, what?"

"Tall, over six feet."

"Was he smart?"

"He's a doctor, of course he's smart."

"What kind of doctor?"

"He treats infectious diseases."

"Is he good at it?"

"He's the best there is. You got your smarts from him."

"Where is he?"

"I'm not sure, but somewhere on the east coast."

"Why did you leave him?"

"It was just time, we both had different lives to lead. He had family in Princeton and I had my job here."

"Why doesn't he come to see me? Or call? Or write?" she asked and I could hear the pain in her little voice.

"Because Mommy made a huge mistake. I didn't know that I was pregnant with you until it was too late. I didn't know where he had moved to or how to find him so that I could tell him. He doesn't know he has a beautiful daughter. But he once told me that he wished he had a daughter, a little girl that would have his blue eyes and long fingers. He wanted a little girl like you very much. He wanted to teach you how to play violin and how to be a doctor. He had lots of plans for his daughter. I know that if he ever saw you he'd never let you go. He'd hold you forever."

She smiled and hugged me. I worried about telling lies to her about him. But what could I do? I didn't want her to think that the most important man in her life might not want her. It was an easy lie and hard to disprove. So I made my little girl feel wanted by the man who got me drunk in San Diego and cheated on his girlfriend.

"What's his name?"

"Greg Doe."

"Then I'm Chu-chu Doe?"

"No silly, women don't have to take their father's name. You have my family name, Doyle. Chu-chu Doyle. Chumani Doyle."

"Did our family write Sherlock Holmes?"

"Your great-great-great-great-uncle did."

"Cool."

CHAPTER 5

THE KICK IN THE BUTT

Life is strange. You get into a rut. Your life each day is pretty much the same as the day before until something bites you on the ss to wake you up. It might be that your boyfriend tells you he's leaving you; a friend announces that they're engaged; a tornado hits; you run off the road in a snowstorm. My life pretty much had a rhythm to it until a day just after Chu-chu turned seven. She came lumbering through the back door into the kitchen, climbed up on the counter to get a glass for some juice when I noticed the big bruise on her leg just above her cowboy boots.

"Chu-chu, did you get in another fight?" I pointed at her leg with an angry look on my face.

"No. I don't know how I got that." She looked down at it. She shrugged her shoulders, turning her mouth down at the corners, "I'm going to watch tv."

I feel bad, but I didn't believe her. I was certain I was going to get a phone call from the school or parent telling me about a fight she had been in.

That summer she spent a lot of time sleeping in the main tent while I was digging. I had received several grants and things were looking up. I had put my career on hold for the first few years of Chu-chu's life, but had started applying for my own grants in the last three years. Jack had endorsed me, which went a long way in the Paleontology world. I received several grants in the first six months. I could finally see me getting that job at a university in the next few years.

Chu-chu got a rash that wouldn't go away and then a nasty, can't-open-your-eyes, headache. I took some time off to run her into the clinic in Jordan and they referred me to the hospital in Billings. Our family doctor, Dr. Machen, wasn't too pleased with her bruises and her lethargy.

"It could be nothing Maddie, so let's not get too worried yet."

"But you have something in mind, I can tell."

"I'm worried that she might have something serious. She's always been pretty energetic. This isn't like her, is it?"

I had to shake my head in acknowledgment. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes started to strain to keep from tearing. He could see how scared I was and I thought for sure he'd say something to reassure me that he was probably wrong, but he didn't. That scared me even more.

Her red blood cells were low and her white ones were off the chart. They also found blasts, blood cells normally just found in bone marrow and not in circulating blood. It was leukemia, acute myelogenous leukemia (AML). Because she was diagnosed with such a high white blood count (WBC) she was considered at high risk.

I turned my grant work over to Jack and Jade, who helped me considerably and let me keep most of the money that should have gone to them. They both loved Chu-chu like their own child and were worried about both of us. She had grown up running around our camps and out in the field with them and they were used to having her around. They were devastated by the diagnosis. Kevin took it harder than any of them. Chu-chu and Kevin did a lot together. He'd take her fishing, ice skating, hiking, and just about anywhere he went, Chu-chu would hitch a ride.

My baby girl was fitted with a venous access device (VAD). It was inserted into a large blood vessel in her chest. It was left in place to be used to take blood samples and give intravenous (IV) drugs, reducing the number of needle sticks needed during treatment. The end of the tube stuck out from her chest. They gave her chemotherapy but she did not go into remission on the first round, which was not a good sign. They had to give her "growth factors" to help keep her white cell count up.

She started to get painful mouth sores and horrendous nausea and diarrhea. She lost a lot of weight and looked frail. Her hair fell out so we bought her a ballcap with hair hanging out of it. She was so far ahead at school that no one seemed worried about her attendance.

She went into remission, but about four months later I started to notice more bruising and her lethargy was back;, so was the leukemia. When it comes back that fast, the best therapy is a bone marrow transplant or, even better, a core blood transplant. A bone marrow transplant or stem cell transplant comes from someone, usually a sibling, who is a match. A core blood transplant comes from the blood taken from the umbilical cord of a match, again– usually a sibling. A core blood transfer has the highest rate of success.

In layman's terms, a bone marrow transplant or core blood transplant means that first the child is given excessive radiation to destroy the sick child's immune system to keep the body from attacking the new bone marrow or core blood that is transplanted from a healthy individual. The transplant kick starts the sick child's immune system to make healthy cells rather than cancerous blood cells. A bone marrow transplant is not just tortuous for the sick child, but incredibly expensive and devastating for the entire family. It costs over $100,000.

But my daughter had no siblings. I wasn't a match and I had no siblings. Chu-chu was placed on the bone marrow donor list and sat there, along with other needy children, for months. The longer we waited, the more likely she was going to get an infection that she couldn' fight off.

I sold our little house to pay for her chemo treatments. I didn't qualify yet for state aid, not until we had exhausted the equity in the house. With Jack's blessings, we moved into one of the little trailers on site of the digs. A sick kid in a trailer no bigger than 26 feet by 8 feet wide is not easy to deal with. But I had no choice, it was the only way I could keep my head above water. It seemed that we weren't going to get any breaks, my grant money ran out and, considering my situation, I couldn't apply for another one until I knew I could actually work the dig.

Our oncologist was clear. Chu-chu was in remission but her one chance to survive was a transplant. I didn't know where I would get the money to pay for it, but it was all moot unless I could find her a donor. I talked to the oncologist about my situation. He was a sweet middle-aged man with photos of children all over his office. I saw a polaroid taken of Chu-chu by one of the nurses up on his wall. He was clear, "Her father might be a match or even a half sibling could be a match."

"What would be the very best treatment?' I asked.

"If you had another baby by her father and we used the core blood from the umbilical cord. That would be her best hope for survival."

I knew what I had to do. I had to find Greg Doe.

I spent the night on the internet going through the physicians listed who practiced in Princeton. I decided to include Plainsboro and Trenton. I would first conduct my search in Princeton and then continue to Plainsboro and then Trenton. I found nine Greg's under physicians in the area. Only one, in Trenton, was listed as an infectious disease doctor. I realized then that my Greg had probably moved. I would have to drive to Princeton to try and find out where he had gone. He might have children by now, they might be a match, he might be a match. I had no choice but to hunt him down.

I told Jack, Jade and Kevin what I was going to do. I told them I was going to leave the next morning. They all seemed incredibly sad and worried, but understood. That night around Jack's trailer taking turns holding Chu-chu like she was never coming back.

"It's a long shot, but I'd go find and try to find him too." Jack said in confidence. That evening he showed up in my trailer while Chu-chu was sleeping and I was packing. "Maddie, this is for your trip." He handed me a wad of money, $2,000 dollars.

I started to get emotional, my throat constricted and tears started to trickle quietly down my cheeks. "Jack, I can't take this. But thanks."

"No Maddie, I'd give you more but it's in money market accounts and I need time to take it out. Chu-chu's the closest thing I have to a kid. This money means nothing to me compared to her sweet little face. Please take it."

I could use it. I only had $850 for the trip. I was on the verge of bankruptcy, not a penny to my name. The disease had gone through what little savings and assets I had put away for Chu-chu and I. "I'll only take it if you consider it a loan."

"Okay, consider it an interest free loan, payable in thirty years, okay?"

I nodded and tried to smile. He hugged me and he started crying. I was shocked. Here was big, beer bellied Jack Benson crying on my shoulder like a blubbering baby. I stopped crying, so shocked by it. I just held him and then he ran out of my trailer like a bolt of lightening.

I packed my 1998 Jeep Cherokee, making the back seat into a bed for Chu-chu and packing a cooler up front with water, sodas and her medicine. The car had just been in for a check up and was supposedly, in my mechanic's words, in "purty good" condition. I had my mapquests printed out and we took off for Princeton at 7:30 am after a round of hugs and kisses from my three best friends. They each slipped me money, even Jack tried to slip me more, which I refused.

I took off, tears streaming down my face, Chu-chu already asleep in the back seat. I had her entire medical file in the back just in case I needed it for something. I put on my cd's and thought about the road ahead. Everything I owned or held dear was in the car with me. My life had been reduced to a space of approximately 6 feet x 9 feet.

CHAPTER 6

PRINCETON

Greg House refused to admit to his best friend, James Wilson, that he had gone back to taking the anti-depressants. He had only felt hazy for a few weeks and then his thinking cleared up. He had to admit that his outlook had improved and he was starting to get out more and do more things. His ego wouldn't let him stay on the drugs until he was able to convince himself that it was a chemically sound way of improving depression and not just hocus pocus. He read all the literature and now accepted that the science behind SSRI anti-depressants was sound.

His bad leg seemed a little better too. The pain from the missing muscle and nerve damage wasn't quite as debilitating as usual. He had been working out, building up the muscles in both legs and he had noticed an improvement in his mobility as well as a decrease in pain.

All in all, House was starting to feel like he had entered a period of Renaissance in his life and that all things were possible. Heaven forbid, he might even start to enjoy himself, find himself a girlfriend, maybe two, and start a new religion. Greg-worship.

Greg House was the head of Diagnostics at Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital and his offices were next door to James Wilson, head of Oncology, and House's long suffering best friend. They shared a balcony that was separated by a low brick wall which House had found easy to scale even with his bad leg. Wilson frequently cringed when he saw House on his side of the balcony banging to get inside.

Wilson watched his friend travel through the cafeteria with his tray of food in one hand and his flame etched cane in the other. Wilson was surprised at the way House looked these days. He wasn't always scowling. It wasn't like he was always smiling or laughing, but he didn't look perpetually mean either. His humor was still brutal and cutting, but now he would occasionally say funny things that weren't at the expense of someone else. He kept his short cropped beard and continued to wear his rumpled clothes, but he just seemed to more relaxed these days. Wilson had definitely seen an improvement in Greg House's looks and demeanor.

"You know, we have it pretty good." Wilson announced to House as he sat down.

House furrowed his brow and squinted his eyes, puzzled by the remark, "How do you figure?"

"My friend at Princeton General says that they just had another budget cut and laid off two staff physicians and four nurses. They were operating at a pretty high ratio of doctors to patients as it was, I can't imagine cutting back further."

"Well getting rid of some of their doctors certainly won't hurt their performance. They've got some dumbss doctors over there."

"Maybe. But, we have state of the art equipment, a great ratio of doctors to patients, good salaries, great benefits and a boss who seems to tolerate us."

"You mean me. She tolerates me." House said.

"Yeah, that's what I said." Wilson felt the vibration from his pager and looked at it. "Hey, what are you doing for Martin Luther King's weekend?"

House shrugged his shoulder, "Why?"

"I've got to get this, but I thought we could go to Atlantic City and do some gambling. Up for it?"

"Me gamble? God's going to strike you down James Wilson. Can I use the pretty blue chips?" He batted his eyes, "Yeah, sounds like a game plan."

"Okay, I'll catch you later." Wilson scurried over to the conveyor and put his dirty dishes on it. Clinic consult, Exam 2. Free clinic and they need an oncologist, not a good sign.

Wilson walked over to the clinic, knocked and then opened the door. He saw Dr. Robert Chase with a pretty, very tired-looking, woman and a young strikingly beautiful little girl. He immediately knew the patient was the young girl and, from her short post-chemo hair, it wasn't good. Chase handed him a large file from another hospital and introduced him to the girls, "Maddie and Chumani Doyle, this is Dr. James Wilson."

The little girl, in a small, tired voice said, "Chu-chu. not Chumani."

Wilson smiled, "Chu-chu, Ms. Doyle." He turned to Chase, "What do we have?"

"AML, was in remission but she's got bruising and fatigue." Chase lowered his voice, "The recommendation is for a Bone Marrow Transplant."

Wilson was looking at the file, "Billings, Montana? What are you doing in Princeton, Ms. Doyle?"

Wilson saw the mother give him a sign that she didn't want her daughter to know and then she said, "We came to see you Dr. Wilson, we heard you were a great oncologist."

"Well, can I see you outside for a minute, there are papers for you to sign."

"Sure." They stepped out of the room.

Wilson smiled at her to encourage her. He already liked her just from the way she carried herself. She was about 5'3"-5'4", sandy blonde hair, grey eyes, a rectangle face except for her little chin that broke up the plane of the rectangle. She was very pretty, not beautiful, but clearly tired and haggard. He didn't have to see the file to know that she wasn't from Princeton. She wore a long-sleeved flannel, plaid shirt, old worn Wranglers with a leather belt and silver belt buckle. She had on real cowboy boots, not Paris Hilton wannabes. They were brown leather and obviously well-worn from years of use.

"Dr. Wilson, my daughter is dying. She has one chance to survive, a bone marrow or core blood transfer. She's on the national registry, but I don't need to tell you what her chances are of finding a donor. She's never met her father and I didn't want her to know that we were here to look for him and hopefully, some half siblings she might have, just in case they're a match. She's always had these fantasies about meeting her Dad, so I don't want her to know what we're really doing here. I don't want to raise her hopes."

"I see. I understand." Wilson looked in her eyes and could tell she was desperate, "Your daughter probably has an infection. She needs to be hospitalized until we can get it under control."

"I don't have insurance. She has a VAD, can I just give her the antibiotics? We're staying at the Howard Johnsons. At home I've gotten pretty good at administering her the drugs she needs. I had to because we live two hours from the hospital."

"Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves, let me figure out what type of infection she has. Do you have enough to pay for those tests?"

He saw her wince, "How much?"

"Maybe $250?"

She pinched her lips together and nodded.

He could tell that $250 wasn't going to be easy for her to afford. "I have a clinical trial program for children with leukemia. It's for a new drug to keep them relatively stable while they wait for bone marrow donations. I could try to get your daughter into it. I'm required to run a full blood work-up, so I'll do that and that way it won't cost you anything."

She looked down at her boots and hunched her shoulders, "Thank you Dr. Wilson, we really appreciate your kindness."

Wilson knew that the little girl probably wouldn't make the trial unless he could get her infection under control. "Look, come up to my office while I read through her file."

"Okay."

CHAPTER 7

MEN WITH TOYS

They went back into the clinic and found Chase and Chu-chu laughing at something. Wilson thought the little girl was darling. She had a little crown of brown hair covering her head and the most spectacular blue eyes you could ever see. They were large, intelligent and kind. She giggled with Chase over something and her whole body laughed with her. Wilson was enchanted by her. She reminded him of someone.

"Let's get you up to my office and take care of you. But before we go, Dr. Chase is going to take some blood." Wilson nodded to Chase. Chase drew several tubes of blood and handed them to Wilson along with the chart. They took the elevator to the second floor, went past several offices and then Wilson opened the door to his office.

Maddie pointed to a sofa, "Pumpkin, go sit over there." Chu-chu went over and laid down on the sofa. Wilson looked at the file and had to agree with her treating doctor, she needed a bone marrow transplant.

Wilson told Maddie about the trial. "I need the results back on her blood tests and then we need to admit her. I'll make sure that she gets treatment for this infection. You need to go down to our test coordinator and fill out the paperwork. Take her chart, you're going to need information from it."

They both looked at Chu-chu and before Maddie could wake her, Wilson put up a hand. "She can stay here and sleep. It will take you awhile to sign up. I have to make some rounds, we can leave her a message to stay put."

Maddie laughed, "Stay put, I'd like to see that! But she is tired, she may sleep quite awhile. I'll leave the note here, taped on the chair and the chair up against the sofa, she'll have to see it."

The note was taped to the chair and the chair pushed up to the sofa. It said,

CHU-CHU -

STAY PUT! YOUR BOOKS ARE IN YOUR BACKPACK.

I WILL BE BACK SOON.

LOVE, MOM XXOO

Wilson walked Maddie to the elevator. She went down to the first floor administration offices, Wilson went to Radiology in the basement. Chu-chu napped quietly on the sofa in Wilson's office.

Half an hour later, the little girl stirred. She sat up and looked at the note and then looked around the office. She didn't feel like reading, not while she was alone in a new place. Chu-chu couldn't sit still. She went out to the balcony and looked over the edge to the parking lot and front entrance. Everyone seemed so busy to her. She was curious, there was another balcony separated from the one she was on by a short brick wall and then she saw a door to another office. Through the glass door she could see a skeleton and a model of a brain. She climbed the brick wall and opened the door and peered inside to see if anyone would stop her. Finding it clear, she went inside. There was no one in sight.

She looked around, there was a computer which showed the first level of a computer game she played sometimes, a group of books on the desk and a large felt ball. She went to the skeleton and touched it. The bones wiggled on the stand. She opened the desk drawer and saw a harmonica. She pulled it out and started blowing into it, making sounds that caused her to giggle. She stood up and turned around, jumping back at the site of a man staring sternly down at her. He grabbed the harmonica out of her hand.

He frowned at her, "You got spit in my harmonica. Are you contagious?"

"Probably. Are ya gonna hit me with your cane?" she asked.

"Maybe."

She tilted her head, "Do ya have any kids?".

"No, are you flirting with me? And what has having kids got to do with corporal punishment?"

"You've got a lot of toys for not havin' a kid. My Mom says that a man with toys is just an indication of how immature they are."

He scrunched his forehead and bent down to glare at her. "You've got a big mouth for a young kid."

"You've got long fingers."

He waved his head around and gave her a funny look. "I get that a lot. Why shouldn't I use my cane on your butt?"

"Because I can teach ya somethin'."

"You? You're haven't got enough estrogen yet to teach me anything."

"I can teach ya the bones on that skeleton."

House waved his face in hers, "I already know the bones on that skeleton." He stood back up, "How many bones in a human skeleton?'

"206.'

House nodded his head and gave a faint smile. "What's this one?"

"The radius."

House grabbed another, further down the arm. "This one?"

"The ulna. And that's the wrist, the elbow, humerus..." she said as she pointed to each one.

"Yeah, yeah, you're boring me ...you're just a myna bird, repeating back what someone told you."

"Yeah, and you're an unwanted beggar with a cane. Look at ya. You obviously don't have a wife or girlfriend. Don't ya know how to shave or iron a shirt?"

"I'm a doctor."

"So what? So is my Mom and she shaves her legs."

"Oooooo...big deal, now get out of my office."

"Why, don't ya like me?"

"I don't know you."

"I'm Chu-chu."

"As in choo-choo train?"

"That's rude."

"So I've been told."

"What's your name?"

"House, Dr. House."

"As in hovel?"

"Now who's rude?"

"Can you teach me to play the harmonica?"

"No. Why would I want to?"

"I have cancer and it's my dyin' wish?"

"Boo-hoo. I've heard that before. No. The answer is still no. go find some chemo."

"But, it's true. Besides, I'm a quick learner."

"What's in it for me?" House was amused by her tenacity.

"You'll pull the chicks."

He broke up. She was cute, standing there, her hands on her hips, her head tilted and her eyes big and blue. She's going to be a heartbreaker when she's older, if she doesn't bust their balls first.

"How will I pull the chicks?"

"All the women will fawn over a guy who teaches a dyin' girl how to play a harmonica."

"You're cynical for a six year old."

"I'm eight. You're old and mean, you should meet my mom, she's pretty and nice."

"Pretty and nice? I'm more into slut and nimble guy."

"She's nimble, I don't know if she's a slut though. What's a slut?"

"My best friend."

"Then I'll be a slut and you can teach me to play the harmonica."

"You're too young to be a slut. You have to at least be in sixth grade."

"I'm always too young."

"Isn't your keeper missing you?"

"Dr. Wilson was gone, so I thought I'd look for him."

"Dr. Wilson is your doctor?" House said it with some hesitation.

"Yeah. Do you know him?"

"What do you have?"

"AML."

Crap. She probably is dying. "AML is bad but not necessarily fatal."

"Yeah, well I've had two rounds of chemo and now I have an infection and no money."

"No money?" House sat down in his desk chair and watched the little girl grab his big felt ball and started throwing it up and down.

"We sold the house, the furniture, mom's IRA to pay for my two rounds of chemo. We still have our jeep. That's how we got here."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm not sure. Mom says we're here because there might be a donor here and Dr. Wilson is a great oncologist."

"Hmmm. That's good."

"Nah. I heard the doctor tell her that even if she can find a donor, we'd need $100,000 for the transplant. We barely have enough for the Howard Johnson's we're livin' in. Dr. Wilson is gonna try and get me into some program so we don't have to pay for my blood tests today. He's really nice." Without skipping a beat she said, "So are you gonna teach me how to play the harmonica?"

"Why bother? Why not enjoy what you already know how to do?"

"You mean, why start anythin' new if I'm gonna die?"

"Yeah."

"The thing I like to do most is learn somethin' new. So, I'd like to spend time learnin' something new even if I'm only gonna be around for a year."

Wilson came running in..."Chu-chu, you're lucky your mother is still down filling out forms. She left you a note to stay put."

"Sorry Dr. Wilson, but I was busy with Dr. House, he's gonna teach me to play harmonica when I become a slut."

Wilson's head snapped in House's direction. His eyes popped open, "House?"

House scrunched his face, his lips upturned and then lifted his shoulders.

Chu-chu ran over to House, still sitting in his seat. She threw her arms around his neck, quickly kissed his cheek and whispered, "I'll be back for my lessons." She turned and ran to Wilson.

House was stunned at first, but then recovered and blurted out, "Just because you have cancer, don't expect me to be your boy toy."

Chu-chu giggled as she took Wilson's hand. She turned and waved at House as she walked out the door with Wilson. They went back to Wilson's office and waited. Maddie came back a few minutes later.

Maddie took a good look at Chu-chu, "You look perky. Did you have a good nap?"

"I met Dr. House. He says he'll teach me to play the harmonica when I'm in sixth grade."

"Why sixth grade?"

"Because then I'll be a slut." she said with a big smile. "Mom, what's a slut? Dr. House says a slut is his best friend."

Maddie looked up at Wilson, her eyes wide and her mouth open.

"I'm sure he didn't mean that." Wilson's voice went up an octave.

"Well just in case he meant it, maybe you should stay away from this Dr. House." she patted her daughter's head.

"But I like him. He's funny. He's mean and he doesn't care that I'm dyin'."

Maddie took in a deep breath, "You're not dying. Don't say that. You're going to be okay honey."

"Mom, we don't have any money left for a transplant."

"I'll find a way. You just do your part and stay optimistic, okay?"

Wilson watched this scene and thought of all the similar scenes he had viewed over the last fifteen years. It never ceased to amaze him how strong the cancer kids were compared to the parents. It seemed as if they accepted their fate long before the family did. Wilson was drawn to this tiny family. They were so scrappy and funny.

"I have a bed for you Chu-chu. We'll get you checked in and we'll give you intravenous drugs tonight."

They all went to the third floor and within two hours, Chu-chu was receiving the antibiotics.

Wilson looked at the darkness under Maddie's eyes, "We'll keep her in for at least 48 hours. Why don't you go back to the hotel and get some rest? You look like you've been up for weeks."

"We've been here for fifteen days looking for her father and I haven't found him. I think he moved. I'm beat. Dr. Wilson, can I take a shower in her bathroom?"

"Don't they have showers at the Howard Johnson?"

"I was staying at the Howard Johnson, I checked us out this morning. I've got to find us somewhere cheaper."

"Here, I'll take you to the doctor's lounge, you can take one there."

"Thanks."

CHAPTER 9

ROUNDIN' HOUSE

House was pissed off at the parents of his patient for not allowing him to conduct a brain biopsy. He had ordered Cameron to take care of getting the approval and then left the patient's room in a fury. As he was making his way down the hall, he heard a little girl's voice, "Dr. House, Dr. House, slow up."

He stopped and turned. She was running after him in a gown, no shoes and the sweetest look, smiling and waving. He looked around to see if anyone was watching them, "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to talk to you. What's wrong with you? You look like you just lost your best b!tch pup. You wanna' talk about it?"

He gave her a look of disdain, "With an eight year old?"

"Why not? Maybe I can help. You should never saw the branch that's supportin' ya, unless you're bein' hung from it."

"What planet are you from?" He snorted and shook his head, "It's nothing, I'm having trouble convincing a mother to let me drill into her son's brain." He gave her a silly look.

"Cool. But maybe you didn't say it right. The only way to drive cattle fast is slowly. Maybe you need to tell them to think about it and then come back. That's a lot to chew off."

"Did you memorize every cowboy cliche in the book? And aren't you a little young to be so old?"

"You get cancer, you get old quick."

House nodded his head and crossed his eyes at her.

"You goin' back to your office?"

"Yes, General Hospital is on." House turned to go downstairs.

"I have to do somethin'. See ya later Doc."

"Alright, Caboose."

"Caboose?"

"Choo-choo."

"LMFAO."

"Does your mother know you have such a filthy mouth?"

She giggled. "You can tell her when she gets back, you'd like her. She could whoop your butt."

"I'd like that."

"To meet my Mom or whoop your butt?"

"The butt thing."

She giggled, "You're cool."

"Yeah, all the women say that." House smiled, turned and walked away.

Five minutes later House heard his office door open, turned and saw a pair of blue eyes staring in at him. "I'm baaaaaaccck"

"I thought you had something to do?" he said.

"I had to tell the nurse where I'd be. I told her that you needed to examine me in your office. What does pervert mean?" she smiled.

"I didn't invite you."

"You didn't have to, I could see how much you wanted company." She walked towards the television next to his desk, turned and looked at him, "So does Kate know about Sonny and Amelia?" Chu-chu pointed at the television.

"She just walked in on them."

"Wow!" Chu-chu looked around the office, "Where's another chair?"

"In there." he nodded towards the outside office.

"The doors are too heavy for me to push one through. Can you get one for me?"

"No, I'm not your lackey and I never invited you." he said with a mean, narrow stare. She walked over to him and pushed on his knee. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"I can't pull a chair through that door." She said nothing more, but just kept watching the television as she backed up and climbed up on his lap.

"You can't sit on a strange man's lap."

"Why not? Millions of kids sit on Santa's...and he's strange. Shhhh. I can't hear."

House snickered and looked at her. He sat back and she laid back on his chest while continuing to watch the tv. A few minutes later Cameron and Chase came in. The look of shock on their faces when they saw a little girl in House's lap was priceless. Cameron forgot what she was going to tell House at first. She recovered.

"Uhhh. House? The Millers have..."

"Shhhhh." House and Chu-chu both turned to Cameron to quiet her. House looked down at Chu-chu and smiled. They turned back to the tv.

Cameron looked at Chase and shrugged her shoulders. A commercial came on and House swung the chair around to face Cameron. Both Chase and Cameron took in a sharp breath when they saw the two next to each other.

House was puzzled by their looks, "What?"

"Are you two related?" Chase asked. "You look like you could be her – " House gave Chase a warning look, "– you could be her uncle."

House relaxed and pulled Chu-chu to the side so that they could look in each other's eyes. "I don't see it, do you?"

"It's the eyes. We both have big blue cow eyes." Chu-chu said.

He looked at her eyes, "So we do."

"House, the Millers signed the release form." Cameron said.

"Then go do it." He waved them away. "And leave me with my homie."

General Hospital had been over half an hour when Wilson came into House's office. He did a double take when he saw them playing hangman with House holding the child in his lap. Wilson coughed to let them know he was there.

House looked up, raised his eye brows and shrugged his shoulders, "How do you get rid of her?"

"Howdy Dr. Wilson, you come to round me up?"

"No, but do the nurses know where you are?"

"Yeah. I told them. Where's my Mom?"

"She's taking a nap in the doctor's lounge."

"Is she gonna sleep in the car tonight?"

"Why? I don't think so, it's too cold to do that. I'm sure she'll find a place."

Chu-chu looked down and then up at House's face, "She's used to cold weather."

House wasn't sure what that meant. But when they both looked back at Wilson with the same exact expression and eyes, Wilson tilted his head.

"House, she could be your...niece."

"So I've been told. It's her eyes."

"It's more than the eyes.'

"Dr. House, can you start teachin' me the harmonica?" Chu-chu looked into his eyes, her eyebrows arched and lips protruding in a begging gesture.

House scrunched his face. He wasn't sure he wanted to get involved with a dying eight year old. It seemed a waste of time to teach her the harmonica when she'd probably be dead soon. House hated wasting his time on useless projects.

Wilson saved the day, "Sorry Chu-chu, but your next batch of antibiotics should be due soon. I bet your Mom is probably looking for you. You need to get back up to Pediatrics."

"Ahhhhhh. Can't I stay with Dr. House? We were gonna watch Dr. Phil together."

House jerked back, "I don't watch Dr. Phil, I watch Ellen."

She whispered back to him, "Shhh. We can talk about that later, I just need to convince him to let me stay."

"No, the antibiotics have to be administered on time, now scoot." Wilson pointed out the door.

Chu-chu's lip stuck out and her face dropped. She turned and looked at House who was giving her a silly grin. She whispered in his ear, "I'll be back later." She kissed his cheek and got off his lap, ran up to Wilson, smiled and then left.

Wilson looked at House, "What was that all about? You're starting to scare me. Either you're hitting on an eight year old or you're growing a heart."

House shook his head in protest, "She's a stalker. I turn around and she's there. She even crawled in my lap! You saw her. She's quite the manipulator."

"Sounds like you've met your match."

"Look at this." House turned the paper around to Wilson.

It was a sheet with words on it; hangman dashes and letters filled in over and over. "What? What am I suppose to see?"

"That kid is eight and she's filling in words like "cognitive", "asteroid", "pulverize","pheromone", "cranium"...she has one hell of a vocabulary for an eight year old. Look at the word she gave me, 'Paleontology.' I don't think that even my vocabulary was that good at that age."

"She's an only child, maybe she spends a lot of time with adults."

"Even so, I quizzed her and she could use each of them in a sentence. This is what she said, 'The mineral laden asteroid headed for Dr. House, striking a blow to his cranium and pulverizing his guts.' That's a direct quote."

"Or a wishful thought."

"Can girls be geniuses?"

"If I don't find her a donor she'll be a dead genius."

CHAPTER 10

UNDER OBSERVATION

"She's that bad?"

"I think she's got about eighteen months with this new drug trial if we don't find that donor." Wilson was surprised at his friend's reaction. Instead of one of boredom or nonchalance, he seem to register the slightest hint of sadness. Normally Wilson would have welcomed this sign of humanity, except that it did not bode well. If House was feeling something for this little girl, and then she died, it would just reinforce his tendency to not get involved, not care.

"They don't have any money?" House asked.

"No health insurance. It sounds like her Mom almost went bankrupt trying to take care of her. Not an uncommon story these days with our health system."

"What about the father?"

"Not in the picture. Her Mom brought her here to try and find him. She's hoping he's a match or he might have kids that are a match. But they've been here two weeks and haven't found him."

"Hmmm. Bad luck." House said.

"Yeah. I like both of them. They're both down to earth, no pretenses, no frills."

"That little girl is going to be a force of nature when she's older. Ooops, I forgot, we probably don't have to worry about that." House gave an evil grin.

"She's cute isn't she?"

"I hadn't noticed. Well, patients to bill, patients to kill, patients to drive me over the hill. Bye Wilson."

Wilson knew he was being dismissed, "Bye House."

That afternoon when House got back from watching the brain surgery, he saw his harmonica on the desk and the computer turned on to his computer game, but no sign of the Caboose. He smiled, packed up for the day and went home for the evening.

House's apartment was closing in on him. It always did in the winter. It was full of books, music, television, magazines...things that could keep him entertained. Normally, he didn't go out much anyway, even in summer, but winters seemed to suffocate him. It was the idea that he had no choice but to stay in. He hated that. House looked around, grabbed the newest medical journal, put on his reading glasses and read a couple of articles before taking an evening nap on the sofa.

The next morning House waited a minute for Wilson to catch up in the parking lot. House's spot was close to the hospital because of his handicap placard. Wilson was parked in his spot several rows over.

"Good morning." Wilson greeted House with a shiver.

"Damn, it's cold. Hey, what time are you picking me up this afternoon?" House asked.

"I figure if we want to get to Atlantic City for dinner, we should leave around 4:00 pm."

"Okay."

Wilson looked up and saw a Cherokee Jeep with Montana license plates. "Oh, that must be Chu-chu's mother's car. Is that someone in the driver's side? It looks like a cocoon."

"I've got to get inside, I'll talk to you later." House took off, but took a quick look inside the Cherokee Jeep. There was a bundle, obviously a human, leaning against the window. It appeared to be a mummy sleeping bag and a human wrapped inside of it. But he couldn't make out any features. From the slight fogging inside the windows, it was apparent that the person had probably been in the jeep for awhile.

Wilson watched as House took off for inside the hospital. Wilson knocked on the window of the Jeep. The mummy stirred. A small adult hand came out from inside the bundle and pulled the sleeping bag down from a woman's head. Her hair was wild and her eyes hazy as she tried to focus on the person knocking on the window. She rolled down the window.

"What are you doing in there?" Wilson said, slightly agitated.

"Sleeping." She said slowly as she unzipped the bag.

"You stayed out here in the parking lot all night?"

She simply nodded as she pulled the sleeping bag off her body. "I wanted to be near my daughter in case they needed me."

"Why not wait in her room?"

"They booted me. The nurse told me that all visitors had to leave at 8:00 pm." She rolled up the window and then opened the door. Wilson watched as she grabbed her boots, one at a time and put them on. She jumped out of the jeep, locked the door and turned to Wilson, "Have you seen her yet?"

"No, I just got here. Come on, let me buy you a cup of coffee." He could see the swirls of his breath in the cold air and just wanted to get inside. Maddie didn't seem to notice the cold.

Maddie opened the back door and grabbed her little backpack, locked the door and walked inside with Wilson. Wilson was going to tell her that she might want to comb her hair and straighten up. She looked like a homeless person. But then Wilson thought, She's sleeping in her car, she is homeless. This country's health system drove her to sleeping in her car. This mother is trying hopelessly to save her child and we let her sleep in her car. This sucks.

"Go up and see your daughter and I'll meet you down in the cafeteria in half an hour, okay?"

Maddie nodded. Half an hour later he saw Maddie walk in. Her hair still looked disheveled but she had obviously patted down the wild strands. She smiled at Wilson, "Chu-chu looks good this morning. She's playing with the kid in the next bed. She keeps telling me she has an appointment with Dr. House at ten to learn the harmonica. What's this guy like? I'm a little nervous." They got in the cafeteria line, "I know he's a doctor but he's taken an interest in an eight year old that isn't his patient. Should I be worried? Is he a good influence?"

Wilson winced at the last question and that took Maddie off guard. Wilson could see the worry spring up in her face. He shook his head violently, "No, no, no...not what you're thinking. Come on, let's get you some food and sit down."

"No, just tea."

"No, I think you need some food for energy, my treat." He could see she was going to say no because of the money, "Please, this could be a long story so it would look good if we were eating..."

She laughed, she knew it was just a line so she would buy some food, but he was being so kind she didn't want him to feel bad. She ordered some oatmeal with brown sugar and butter along with a cup of tea. They took a table in the back away from the main pattern of traffic.

"He's brilliant and he's a misanthrope. He's Scrooge in doctor form and for some reason your daughter has latched onto him and won't let go. And for some reason, he's letting her latch on. That's what's strange about all of this. It isn't unusual for kids and women to become attached to him, although I don't know why. It is unusual for House to reciprocate any feelings, whatsoever. His personality isn't touchy feely. When he has allowed someone in close, he gets hurt and so he's put up even more walls. He actively does things to keep people from getting close to him. Your daughter seems to ignore those signals. She's like a bulldozer and he admires that. Plus he thinks she's brilliant."

"We've home-schooled her this last year because of her illness."

"We? I thought you didn't have family."

"I work closely with three friends and we each take an hour out of our day to teach her a different subject. Kevin teaches math, Jack teaches science, Jade teaches History and I cover all the other subjects. She's a sponge. We've had to go back into the school and get sixth grade text books. She's a voracious reader."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a Paleontologist."

Wilson's jaw dropped and then he smiled, "Wow. That's cool. Does Chu-chu go with you when you look for dinosaurs?'

"She lives at the dig site. We have a trailer that we live in out at Hell Creek in Montana. She's grown up eating, breathing and sleeping with dinosaurs and Native American artifacts. She could put together a Triceratops in her sleep."

"So who did you work for?"

"I had a grant from the Montana State University and the Dinotopia Society."

Wilson nodded.

"They're running out though and I'm going to have to figure out what to do next, but I'll deal with that when Chu-chu gets well."

Wilson flinched, the idea of her daughter getting well was remote unless they could find the donor and the money to do the procedure. They talked for awhile. Maddie asked Wilson about his reasons for being an oncologist. What tolls the constant dying around him had taken on him.

"You know, these three divorces may be a product of what you do for a living. If you see a lot of death, it makes every moment on earth seem important. Rather than settle for what you have, even if it is good, it's hard not to keep looking for something to make life even more meaningful, eventful. So you go from one relationship to the next hoping it will make you feel even more alive."

Wilson said nothing, but he secretly hoped that she and House never compared notes on him. They both seem to be a little too close to the truth and that made him feel vulnerable.

"Your daughter is responding well to the antibiotics. We're giving her a unit of blood too. She'll be able to check out this afternoon." Wilson saw her face draw in and her eyes dart as if she was trying to figure something out. He realized she didn't have a place to take her daughter. "Hey, could you do me a favor?"

She looked up surprised, "A favor?"

"I'm going away for the weekend and I just moved into a new apartment. I'd feel better if someone was there while I was gone. Could you and your daughter stay there until I get home on Monday?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Come down to my office and I'll draw you a map. Can you be there at 3:00 pm? I can show you around and get you settled before I leave."

"Dr. Wilson, I know you don't really need anyone to stay there, are you sure?"

"No, really, I do. Of course I want you to stay."

"Thank you. I really want to double my efforts to find her father.'

"What's his name?""

"I don't know all of it..." she stopped as she watched him grab his pager and look at it.

"Sorry, I have to run." he jumped up and started out the door.

"I'll come down to your office later." she said.

Wilson finished his rounds by stopping in to see Chu-chu, but she wasn't there. He went out to the charge desk. "Kerry, where's the patient in 4?"

"House came and got her. They went to get ice cream."

"Her Mom go?"

"No, her Mom got called down to accounting, she's been down there for an hour, I think something must be up with the billing."

Willson nodded, "Thanks." He took the elevator down to the cafeteria.

House and Chu-chu were sitting at a table. Chu-chu was up on her knees on the chair giggling loudly and trying to put her spoon in House's ice cream bowl. House was guarding the bowl with his elbow and shoulder.

"My ice cream, eat your own."

"I just want a taste."

"You're infectious."

"I am not. They're gonna release me today."

"Good. Then you won't be bothering me any more."

"Dr. Wilson says I'll have to come in once a week for the new drug. What's a homeless shelter?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Mom thought I was asleep and I heard her callin' Uncle Jack and she said that we were going to try and get into a homeless shelter so that we could stay in Princeton for this drug. I also heard her say that my Dad probably didn't live here anymore, she hasn't been able to find him."

"What's your Dad's name?"

"Dad."

He smirked, "Don't be funny. What's his name?"

"I don't remember his first name. His last name is Doe. I know he's smart, tall, and he's a doctor."

"He's a doctor? He's got to be licensed, your Mom could find him that way."

"I guess." she shrugged her shoulders. "My Mom says he doesn't know I'm alive, but if he did, he'd love me. Do you think he'd like me?"

"You're pretty annoying. I don't know. Fathers aren't like mothers, they don't have that chemical bonding thing going on...they're more fickle than mothers. But you're okay for a kid. I guess he'd like you."

"Do you?"

"Don't push your luck kid. Eat your ice cream."

Wilson joined them. "You kidnaped her?"

"She wanted ice cream, so did I."

"I just talked to your mother and she'll be down to get you in a few minutes. So what's up?"

"Dr. Wilson, where's the bathroom? I gotta go." Chu-chu started dancing in her seat.

"Just outside and to the right."

She jumped up and ran out the door.

"Okay, House. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing, I was in with my patient and she came strolling in to see me. She asked me if I would take her to get some ice cream. Christ, she's dying, I can buy a dying kid ice cream can't I?" He shook his head and stared intently at Wilson.

"I guess. I'm letting them stay at my apartment this weekend while we're gone."

"That's your problem. Her Dad's a doctor." House said.

"Really? I didn't know that. Why can't they find him?"

"I don't know. The kid doesn't know his name. She says he doesn't know about her."

"Hmm. That would explain the problem of finding him. You better watch it. People are going to say that you're going soft."

"Just an experiment. She's bright, I want to see what a genius child does with the fact that she's dying. You have to ask yourself, does she believe in God? Does she go into denial? Does she go through all the seven steps?"

Wilson was horrified, "You aren't treating this kid as one of your little experiments are you?" When he saw the blank look on House's face he was angry, "You're just befriending her so you can observe her while she dies?"

"What's wrong with that? She's going to die anyway, why not observe how she deals with it?"

"You're a sick SOB." Wilson jumped up and walked towards the door as Chu-chu was coming in. He grabbed her hand and they exchanged words. House watched as Chu-chu argued and pointed at House. Wilson stomped over, grabbed her bowl of ice cream, gave House the evil eye and left with Chu-chu.

House walked over, put his bowl on the conveyor and left.

CHAPTER 11

THEY SHOOT HORSES DON'T THEY?

Later, around 1:00 pm, House went into Wilson's office. He was surprised to see Chu-chu reading on the couch. Her face lit up when he walked in.

"Howdy Dr. House!"

"Hey Caboose."

Wilson's body stiffened and he pretended to focus on the paperwork in front of him, "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to know if you had a cooler for drinks on the way down?"

"Yeah." Wilson dropped his pen and gave House a dirty look.

"Dr. House, my Mom and I are going to stay at Dr. Wilson's while he's gone. Isn't that cool?"

"Yeah, where is your Mom?"

Wilson looked at House, "She needed to check out something and I told her I'd watch Chu-chu until she got back."

Chu-chu was annoyed with all the secrecy, "She thinks she may have found my Dad in Trenton so she's gone to check it out."

Wilson sighed in frustration.

"Doesn't your Mom work?" House asked.

"Yeah, she works. She works hard. Harder than you."

"Is she a maid?"

Chu-chu looked at him with her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed, "NO! My mom's a famous Paleontologist. She's a doctor in Paleontology and Archeology. She works with Uncle Jack, Jack Benson."

House sat down and chuckled. "Paleontologist? A dinosaur doctor? I met one once. We slept together, well slept isn't quite the right word. She was a doctor in Paleon..." House looked up, his eyes were wide and his mouth slightly open in shock.

Wilson glanced up. His eyes went wide, his eyes darted from House to Chu-chu and beads of sweat formed on his brow. House watched Wilson turn white. Wilson stood up, stared at House, opened his mouth to speak, looked over at Chu-chu and sat down again. House's legs were jelly, he was sweating and chills ran down his spine.

"What's wrong with you two?" Chu-chu asked.

"You're eight?" House asked. He didn't remember the woman's name but he remembered what she looked like, "Is your Mom about this tall?" Both Wilson and Chu-chu nodded. "Does she have blonde hair...short hair?" They both nodded again in unison. "Does she have freckles?" The same nod.

Wilson got up. "Chu-chu, I'm taking you next door and you can read with Dr. Cameron."

Chu-chu was looking back and forth between the two of them, "Dr. House, do you know my Mom?"

"I may have met her once. I don't know for sure. Has she ever been to San Diego?"

"I don't know."

"Let's go kiddo." Wilson escorted Chu-chu next door and then joined House back in his office.

"Please don't tell me that you had sex with this Paleontologist about nine years ago?"

House was looking away thinking, but manage a small nod.

"But you were with Stacey then. You cheated on Stacey?"

He shrugged and nodded again. "The odds are that I'm not her father."

"Yeah, right. Let's see, father is a doctor, doesn't know she's alive, from Princeton and the little girl just happens to be the spitting image of you. Every time I see you with her I think to myself that if you had kids they's look like Chu-chu. To top it off, she's so much like you it's uncanny." House watched Wilson practically fall apart in front of him. "You need to take a DNA test right away."

"Why?"

Wilson jumped up and yelled at him, "You may be a donor, you idiot. You might be able to save your daughter's life!"

"Don't yell at me, we don't know that she' s my daughter."

"I'm getting a DNA test kit." Wilson jumped up and left leaving House to think. House jumped up and went next door. He studied Chu-chu through the glass. Look at her read. She's so absorbed in whatever it is she's doing. Redish brown hair, blue eyes, smart, maybe, maybe. I can't let myself think about this yet.

He swung through the doors and she jumped up. "Dr. House, Dr. Cameron says you play piano and guitar too. I can play a little guitar! I told her you were going to teach me to play harmonica. You wouldn't also play violin would you? My Dad plays violin."

House shook his head but said nothing. He felt a little nervous, light headed. He took his cane and went into his office to sit down. She burst through the door. "Are we going to start now?" She squealed in delight.

The magnitude of it started to sink in. He gritted his teeth and slammed his hand down on his desk, "Just leave me alone. Just...leave me alone."

Chu-chu backed out of the room her eyes downcast and her bottom lip protruding and quivering. She opened the door and ran off down the hall.

Wilson came back with the two kits and handed one to House, "Here, I'll get Chu-chu's sample." he looked around, "Where is she?"

"I don't know, she ran out and down the hall."

Wilson was nervous, "What did you say to her?"

"I just told her to leave me alone." House took the lid off of the test kit and pulled out the cheek swab."

"I've got to go find her." Wilson took off.

House waited and twenty minutes later Wilson showed up, "I can't find her."

"Damn." House got up. "Where have you looked?"

"I told security to look for her, but she's not up in peds, my office, down in clinic or the cafeteria. Where do you think she went and how do I tell her mother that you lost her?"

House grabbed his cane, went out into the hall and started to think. "Have you checked the roof?"

"Security did."

House thought again; trying to think where he would go, "I know where she is." He took off with Wilson in tow. They went down to the basement and walked down two corridors until they reached a large room marked, "Medical Library."

He opened the door and looked at the librarian. "Dr. House, Wilson, are you looking for a young lady?"

They nodded. She pointed to an area behind some stacks. Wilson and House went past the rows of books and saw a foot on the floor behind a desk. They peaked around and there was Chu-chu, an anatomy book by her side, crying.

House looked down at her, "Come on, stand up. Dr. Wilson has to run another test. Open your mouth."

"I hate you."

"I've heard that before; can't you be original?" House pulled her up by the hand and she continued to pout. Wilson took the swab of her cheek cells.

"Okay, get her back up to your office. I'll turn these in and be up too."

"Come on Caboose." House took her hand. She pulled it out of his.

"Gimp. You know in Montana we'd shoot you and put you out of your misery."

"If it meant I didn't have to deal with you, it'd be worth it."