Well folks, I'm very new at this whole fanfic thing. Got into it after reading some pretty amazing stuff here, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Betelgeuse and company do not belong to me.
This is set in the movie universe. I'm not so great at these introduction thingies, so tell me what you think!
It had been a year and a half since 'the incident'. Barbara and Adam had refused to refer to it as what it really was. Their almost exorcism, the almost exposure of all the afterlife, Lydia's almost wedding. It had been almost a lot of things, but all it boiled down to in the end was 'the incident'.
Lydia's father slipped into a comfortable sort of denial over the whole ordeal and contented himself to treating Adam and Barbara as the tenants that lived upstairs. Sweet couple, didn't get out much, he would tell people. They didn't pay him, but really they didn't get in the way and their company was more a pleasure than a burden and it made Lydia so happy to have them around. Lydia's stepmother fell back into her own little world and barely noticed Lydia at all, let alone the deceased couple.
Lydia didn't quite know what to think of 'the incident', but after a year and a half she became so engrossed with school and her photography that she just ended up not thinking about it much at all. That was part of the reason why she was so surprised when Adam and Barbara came to her with a request from, of all people, Juno.
She sat in the attic, on the overstuffed sofa that Barbara had lovingly reupholstered, and watched Juno with curious owl eyes. Juno smiled faintly and got straight to the point.
"Thank you for seeing me. We finally have the paperwork mostly completed for that… fellow. Well, you know who I'm talking about. Anyway, it was decided that further measures were to be taken to bind him. There isn't a whole lot we can do at this point but add one more stipulation. One rule he cannot break. Like his inability to say his own name."
Lydia nodded, curious to know what any of this had to do with her. Her mind filled with a million wonderful things that could be done. Maybe force him to remain in one shape, or take away his ability to snap objects into existence, or take away his flying, maybe force him to stay clean or something. The list when on and on; after all, there was so much that he could do. Picking one thing alone out of the pile seemed a bit of a slap on the wrist, but hopefully whoever got to choose would think up something he would really miss.
"We want you to pick the stipulation, Lydia." She took a long drag on her cigarette and smoke leaked from the gash on her neck to hover around her head.
Lydia frowned, always a bit on the quiet side, she hesitated before asking. "Why me?"
"Well," Juno began to pace, hoping to get this over with quickly, she really had a million other things to be doing, "His last con put you in the most danger, its all in the handbook you know. I really wish someone would actually read that thing all the way through."
Lydia nodded, her mind spinning, trying to think of the one thing that would hinder the infamous Betelgeuse the absolute most. Juno stopped pacing when she noticed the look that appeared on the young woman's face.
"Well?"
"Take away his ability to lie."
Juno hadn't smiled in a long time, but she wondered vaguely if the expression that crossed her features didn't somewhat resemble the infamous grin of the ghost with the most himself.
Half a year in the waiting room. An entire six months. Followed by why? An ENTIRE year of paperwork, and even then it wasn't all done. He didn't know what new trick they were going to pull out of their asses, but whatever it was he knew he'd be able to get around it. He had always managed before. All he had to do was wait a little bit longer.
He jumped to his feet and grinned at the sight of his old boss as she stormed briskly into her office. "JUNO, hey! Good ta see ya, what's the news? Got everything sorted out, huh? Time to head home. Check up on the plants, that sort of thing?"
Juno brushed past him and sat back down at her desk. It had a sort of order to it, but resembled a bit of a battle. Clear space was losing ground quickly. She leaned over the clutter when she spoke, feeling a spark of giddiness she didn't know she was capable of having.
"The girl came up with your punishment. Oh, you're going to love this. She took away you're ability to lie."
The poltergeist's face fell immediately. "What?"
Juno gave him a tight lipped smile of triumph, "It's all right here. Signed and official." She forked over the paperwork. Well, his copy of it, anyway. She had gone on a bit of a printing spree. The interns had looked a little traumatized at her sudden burst of cheerful energy. She just responded by giving them a copy and telling them to keep it somewhere safe. Most of them had done so, immediately, for utter fear of what would happen to them if they didn't. She was considering framing a copy and hanging it behind her desk.
Betelgeuse examined the page, mouthing the words as his brow crinkled in horror. His eyes snapped from the paper to here gloating face, eyes flashing with indignant frustration. "You're kiddin'. You can't do this to me!" There was a painful pause of realization before his mouth began to run without him behind the wheel "Well, technically yes, you can, it's all been done by the book."
Interns skittered into hiding at the sudden sound that erupted from Juno's office. The cackling didn't reside for quite some time, and some of the weaker willed were allowed to go home early to recoup.
Juno is so damned fun to write. .