Author: TamashaToko
Owner of the Plot: Profiler120
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Nar/Kag Sess/Kag
This was where she belonged, but if she continued to be stubborn that thought of his would never be confirmed.
His newly purchased house was quite small compared to the others in the neighborhood, but she didn't seem to mind. She actually seemed to enjoy her stay her a lot, but that was probably only because she'd just escaped the house she shared with her husband where she was tortured and monitored at all times.
Sesshoumaru could watch her in the kitchen from his living room finally wearing a smile on her face while caring for his child. It would have been a perfect picture…if only he wasn't there.
"She looks more like you," Inuyasha made sure to tell Kagome when examining his infant niece.
"Whatever. She's totally a Sesshoumaru."
"Feh, if that were true she'd be ugly as well as having her nose up in the air at everyone."
Starting tomorrow Inuyasha would not be welcome back in his house as long as Kagome decided to call it home. That bastard deserved some blame. If it wasn't for his wandering eye Kagome would have never fallen into such a venerability allowing all these situations to take over her life.
It had been himself though that really deserved the blame.
He was the one who opened Kagome's eyes up to Inuyasha's deception, which led to the night where he became more acquainted with her.
He'd just given her what he thought she desired that night after spying on his brother, which in his opinion was some momentary relief. Though he still thought it'd be a wise move to force her out of his house fast the next day for if there had been anything between them he feared being used as a tool in her vendetta with Inuyasha.
Kagome wasn't like that, he'd found out too late.
She was never the kind to use anyone for anything, she was put on this Earth to be used by the greedy while still somehow finding happiness.
Perhaps if he realized that sooner things could have been different. Maybe if he'd lay down with her in bed in a comforting way rather than forcing her to leave she would be with him.
He wouldn't blame himself though, because this Sesshoumaru did not look at the past.
He had to find a way to make Naraku pay for all the damage he'd done. Thanks to that bastard Kagome would probably never be the same again despite the smiles of relief she wore now.
"Kagome don't look at me like that."
Prior to his brother whispering that he heard something else muttered that had turned Kagome's happiness off yet again. It was probably news of Kikyo's pregnancy. If he had three wishes it would be money, Kagome's safety, and Inuyasha having a brain…
Though she was no longer emotionally stable why'd she have to react like that? After everything could she still possibly care for Inuyasha?
"Inuyasha leave," Sesshoumaru stated coldly going back to his newspaper.
His brother didn't look pleased with following orders, but was at least content with a reason to leave before the conversation escalated.
As soon his brother's headlights disappeared from his drive way he stood up and headed towards the door.
"Leaving?" her voice asked.
He didn't look at her, "For a bit."
"Is it work?"
He shook his head.
"Can I come along? I really love your house, but I haven't been anywhere else in such a long time let alone my hometown."
"The baby asleep?"
Kagome nodded, "I just have to get her into her carrier and-
"I'll take her next door. They'll watch her."
She deserved a break. He had a feeling Naraku wouldn't have dared bothering himself too much with Amaya, so Kagome had been all alone in the parenting. It only made him feel even more guilty.
She nodded before handing his child over and putting on a jacket.
The car ride had been silent not that there was much to say. Still his thoughts were on her, why did he desire her so much?
"Were going here?" she asked.
He hadn't realized it at first, but he'd brought her to the same café that had been the origin of this madness. The place she realized Inuyasha's heart had belonged to another, and where she was left with him.
"Shall we go else where Kagome?"
"No. It's fine. I could really use a cup of tea."
She really could, because tomorrow he would drive her back to that prison where she would await for her warden to return.
Trying to be the polite gentlemen that she already knew he wasn't he opened her door for her before escorting her inside. What was this pull she had over him?
It had been quiet again until they ordered their drinks, "Your necklace…"
She looked down at the heart locket that the tops of her breast held. It looked innocent enough except for the barbed wire image going across it.
"It was a gift," she answered.
"From him?"
She nodded.
Obviously that gift had been another part of Naraku's sick game. He couldn't stand any of this anymore.
"What have I done to repulse you so?"
He wasn't going to let it go no matter how much the conversation upset her. Why did she make the decision to marry Senaka and not he? It was a given he was socially different than her and was often occupied, but at least he didn't think of a million ways to grind down her spirit.
Her hand shook as she tried to bring her cup of tea to her lips, though he doubted the warm liquid would assist her in any way.
"Is it Inuyasha?" he asked, "did you think having a child and raising it with me would end your relationship with him forever?"
"Inuyasha doesn't matter anymore," she then answered, "I know I was with him for so long, but it's like it was never real or meaningful."
"Is it because you've moved on from those unpleasant memories, or has Senaka beaten them out?"
She shook her head, "Every time I thought of Inuyasha or my life before hearing Naraku's offer I could only think of you. You're all I ever thought about when I was left alone."
That was music to his hears though he would never say it out loud. He had been in her thoughts rather than his foolish half brother that threw her away or her husband.
"You could have had more than just the thoughts."
"I know that, and I've admitted I made a mistake."
"Your not stupid Kagome," he had a hard time finally making his thoughts on that clear, "it was more than just an innocent mistake."
"You really want to know."
Was he finally going to hear the answer he'd been desiring? Or perhaps it would be easier to never hear. He didn't stop her though.
"I was afraid. Not of you, but what we would become."
"A family?"
"I did have every intention of marrying you at first even though I was acting stubborn and childish about the idea. I knew it was right for Amaya, but being selfish I thought of myself again. What would my future be? A whole new life with a stranger that I thought detested me."
"I've never hated you."
"But you'd never love, and neither would Inuyasha, someone I really didn't want to be an in-law to at that time. Then there was Naraku who offered me an exit from my terrifying loveless future with you-
"And you are to tell me you thought he loved you?"
"I was smart enough to know it was not love, but the way he was playing into a major taboo by acting on this as my professor and his little game of using my home to secure the deal was exciting in a way. I chose the exciting path rather than then the smart but terrifying one."
He had his answer, but he wasn't just going to leave it at that. He couldn't.
"Do you still feel this way, about you and me?"
She shook her head, "I already told you. You're all I think about."
"You have plagued my thoughts as well."
He then watched as she turned slightly red before sipping on her straw in an angry fashion.
"So that's what I am to you Sesshoumaru? A plague."
He smirked at her reaction, "No a disease. One that manages to inconvenience its target, but also has it's addicting effects."
He was admitting it now. He wanted Kagome, but not just as his daughter's mother or ward rescued from the hands of a madman. He wanted her all to himself.
"Sesshoumaru?"
"Hmmm."
"Last time I checked diseases can't get you high, and everything that feels good for you is always bad for you."
For the first time in a long while he cracked a smile, "It's true."
She stared at her necklace again. Why didn't she just take it off if she didn't like it?
"Perhaps I won't send you back tomorrow," he started, "maybe you should stay right here. Let Senaka find you himself."
"Why would you do that?"
"If he were to inflict harm upon anyone in the house including you I would have to return the favor. I will kill him."
"No," she almost shouted, "Once you kill someone you can't come back from it. Think about what it will do to your reputation."
"You seem to think I care Higur-
He didn't continue. He still hated to think that she shared last names with that pathetic excuse for a soul.
"Sesshoumaru don't. We'll do it the lawful way, okay? Please?"
"And if he hurts you?"
"He will try not too."
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"I'm pregnant."
The ride back to her prison cell had seemed like a long one. Sesshoumaru hadn't really bothered talking to her since their night at the café.
If only she didn't tell them then maybe things would have worked out for the better. Did he still want to save her? Or did the thought of her having Naraku's child turn him away for good?
"Sesshoumaru," Kagome didn't realize how panicked her voice was becoming at the mere sight of her 'home'.
"I'm returning your cell phone to you with a charger," he responded, "call if you're in danger. It will call more numbers than just mine now."
In other words he was saying the police or her mother could become her rescue rather than him.
"I'm sorry."
She wanted to cry. Not only was she going back to that bastard who wanted nothing from her than her own suffering, but she was about to lose Sesshoumaru forever. A thought that seemed intolerable to her now though it was once in grasp.
"You apologize for nothing Kagome. You can only be blamed for so much. Responsibility falls upon the sadist who hurts for his own enjoyment. Perhaps your unborn child will distract him until I can act."
He still wanted to save her, but it wasn't the same. She needed more, she needed him.
"Good-bye Kagome," he told her taking the extra effort to escort her out of his car and to the door of her cell.
No, he couldn't leave her yet.
"What about your daughter? Will you say good-bye to her?"
He looked down at his infant child thinking of what to do. It was hard, not only was he unable to think of any affection he could show for her, but it was already bad enough he was sending her back her into this twisted war zone. Naraku couldn't suspect a thing though.
Kagome watched as all he could manage was a pat on the head, it was better than nothing.
They had locked eyes one more time as he was about to return to his car. Was it really good-bye?
No.
The next thing she knew her body was in control and couldn't help but smash her lips against his while holding on to his wrist. Sesshoumaru could of course snap her like a twig in defense, but she didn't care. She couldn't let it end like this, though in her mind it would be worse. He would probably tear her away harshly and berate her for this behavior.
He didn't. He stayed.
"Sorry," she found herself apologizing again.
Sesshoumaru pulled away but kept his hands securely wrapped around her shoulders. He was afraid to let go it seemed. He still didn't say anything though, but it had looked like he wanted too, and that's all that mattered.
There was one last hug between them that somehow managed to feel foreign though they'd just lip locked right before that. She then turned and went inside the house she shared with her husband and daughter.
It was frightening coming back no matter how use she'd been to the interior and the silence. It was as though she was a soul who'd been brought back and was now peering down at her own grave.
"Hungry Amaya?"
She was crying, was it because she was exhausted or perhaps she knew what they'd returned to. Pain and Misery.
"I'll get you something," she'd headed to her bedroom to get a bottle noting that she probably talked to her infant child more than any parent should and it wasn't really helping to elevate the fear.
Did she leave the light in the den on? She walked by the room and noticed the light under the doorway illuminating the hallway, had she even remembered to lock it? Her question was answered when she'd managed to open it.
"I thought you wanted to love me Kagome."
Naraku.
He knew, and he'd been waiting for her.
She could feel her heart hammering in her ears as he simply held his hand out and quietly requested the cell phone she dumbly held in her hands. She couldn't do much except nod and fulfill his request. Kagome couldn't even find control anywhere in her body as he embraced her and lay her head into his chest.
"I'm sorry I couldn't fulfill what you were looking for."
It was then that Kagome realized fighting would just be a wasted effort. She'd never see Sesshoumaru again, she would die.
Her words meant nothing to him. None about her mistake nor any about her pregnancy with his child.
The only voice he wanted to hear was the sweet tone of his innocent Kagome. That girl was lost though, therefore he'd never hear it again. All that stood before him was a woman whose mind would always belong to another. She was of no use to him.
He'd end her life that was the only choice he had. Sesshoumaru couldn't have his way nor someone who promised to be his forever.
"We took vows Kagome," he whispered to her as he tightly bound her wrist above her head on to the clothing rack in the closet.
"I was vulnerable," there was no longer any reason to lie to him for soon she'd be no more, "and I made a mistake."
He couldn't help himself but smack her across the face again. If he'd been in her shoes he perhaps would have considered himself a mistake, but her saying such a thing tarnished his memory of the perfect little pet he once had.
"It wasn't a mistake for you were mine to claim from the very beginning," he bound her feet to the shoe rack.
"Where's my daughter?"
He didn't answer. The child was at a daycare. He'd left her there saying he and his wife were going on a second honey moon, and now he'd have to return later on to say the child's mother killed herself shortly after.
"Are you going to kill me?" she tried hard to keep her voice from breaking, something he admired.
"It pains me, but Kagome I wanted you to be mine. I gave you everything and you ruined it, and now I fear I've lost you. It will be slow, I want you to know what you've done."
She'd tried to fight it but wound up shedding one tear, "It can be different. I'll never talk to him again. I'll do everything for you and our child."
Naraku shook his head with a chuckle, "Never again can your words affect me, for you speak thinking of him."
"They'll find out. Sesshoumaru's going to prove you've treated me this way, and when I come up dead they'll knew who it was."
His cold hand reached for her face and began to softly stroke her skin. Had this been obsession? Had he ever loved her? If things could have been different than perhaps maybe…
"I don't care Kagome."
"What do you mean? Naraku you will be found out about and even if you do manage to fight the system you will never teach again."
"I said I don't care. I can go to jail, I can get the death penalty. I should have been fired for marrying a woman who'd been my student but all I thought of was you. You're my everything, you will go as my everything."
It had all been slow and agonizing. That was something he made sure of.
She hated it when he talked about just how much he obsessed over her, it put her on edge and he liked seeing her sweat the way she did.
He kept her there in the closet for days making sure to feed her, but also giving her a large dosages of chemicals that would keep her awake for all of it and pills that would slowly rip her body apart. She would die in agony.
The insects had been the best though. When it was possible to get them he'd cover the tops of her breast with a swarm of crickets to keep her alarmed and crying all while torturing her body against his. If only she wasn't to be out of sight and mind in a few days then this would easily turn him on.
The thing that disappointed him though was that her honor had kicked back in and she remained silent while suffering. No longer did she tell him things could go back to the way they were or she would never think of Sesshoumaru again. He wanted her to beg for her life…
"Day Seven," Naraku noted with a smile as he entered the closet after work with a wet wash cloth.
Her head just hanged low as she faced the floor. Her stomach felt like it was being eaten, and her head had been burning for days now. The sound of crickets didn't help much.
"Hungry?" he would ask every day after using the wash cloth to relieve her body of the mass amounts of sweat her sickness had caused.
She shook her head, obviously realizing her daily pasta was the cause of this.
"Come now Kagome. Though you did do a good job of keeping my house clean you were never the best cook. This could be a step up."
"Just stop it."
"Stop what? My lovely, I'm the last bit of company you'll ever have and you wish me away?"
Kagome shook her head again. His voice was the only thing that kept her mind occupied from the pain, "I'm burning."
Another laugh from him, "No you're not, but perhaps that would be a good way to dispose of your body."
He lovingly stroked her hair as she once again moaned in pain. At first this had been hard for him to do; he almost believed for a moment that he had a conscience and that he should buy into her pleas and believe she'd never break his trust again. Obviously his opinion on that matter had changed quick enough for he began to enjoy this way too much, coming up with every which way to harm her body and soul.
"Did you ever love me?" her weak voice asked.
He shook his head, "I don't know. I loved it how you would pray to yourself that I would call on or write comments of interest on your papers in class. I loved that you were so mature when it came to some things but yet childish when it came to others, but I could not bring myself to love you. Not while your heart belonged to another my dear."
"Do you believe that then? I had feelings for Sesshoumaru from the beginning?"
"No I don't. Your mind was just fixed on the idea of him being the one to always save you no matter what stupid decision you made, just as it is now. You want Sesshoumaru to be your hero, but what do you think would happen if he saved you from me?"
"I would move in with him and we would raise our child together."
Naraku smirked, "Of course you would, but does him saving you from me change what you earlier dread. As soon as your moved in he would go back to his busy life caring for nothing more than results leaving you with your child alone. That's why you married me isn't it? To escape that, well being rescued from me well just lead you down that road again. You'd be better off wishing Kikyo would disappear so you could return to Inuyasha."
Her breathing was heavy, "How much longer do I have left?"
"If I knew an exact day I wouldn't be doing this right now would I?"
"And you're wrong…"
"Wouldn't that be a first…"
"Sesshoumaru isn't like that anymore. His not the monster I thought he was."
Honestly how could she ever think of someone like him, who was just interested in self-preservation as a monster when there were people like Naraku in the world.
"And you believe that?"
"He told me he couldn't stop thinking about me."
"He said that did he? Whether it was truthful or not it doesn't really matter now does it?"
Another burst of pain before her watery eyes looked up at the blinking red light above her, "Does that have to be on?"
She was of course referring to another one of his awkwardly placed video cameras that recorded her every move, not that she was going anywhere.
"Yes," he smiled patting her on the head, "I need something to remember my wife by, and I think this will be my favorite chapter. Now I'm going to the store, anything you desire my love?"
"Air freshener," she whispered shutting her eyes.
He nodded before leaving her again. He'd be back soon, doing this to her was becoming his new addiction.
Something was wrong, this Sesshoumaru was fully aware of after calling her cell phone for a week straight and being told it was out of service. He'd left many voice messages and not once had she even text him or left another message in return.
Kagome had once again been all that he could think about since he dropped her off, and it didn't help that she could be in danger. Could be? She was every minute she was left alone. He found himself driving to Kyoto, he couldn't stand it anymore.
He'd brought enough evidence to the table to investigate Kagome's abuse, but it could take months to years to put the sadist behind bars. He didn't have time for that, especially when she and his own flesh and blood was involved.
Who was he?
That was just brilliant, now this troublesome girl was putting him through an identity crisis on top of everything else.
The Sesshoumaru he'd known himself to be would have just fulfilled his obligations as a father and rescued Amaya. Kagome had put herself in this boat, therefore, should face the consequences. Her situation shouldn't have mattered even if he was in love. Love was just an emotion, it would take time, but it would go away.
No he wasn't acting like himself. Common sense was even no longer a factor to him.
That was why no thought on Earth stopped him from bursting through Naraku's front door and pulling out a gun ready to shot the bastard.
It wasn't long before the sadist appeared next to a bookshelf unarmed with that smirk of his. Naraku's only defense had been repeating what Kagome had mentioned earlier. Once he took a man's life it wasn't something he could come back from.
He pulled the trigger knowing that Naraku wouldn't be coming back from it either.
Was love just a stupid emotion? It must have struck a cord with him, because the state he found Kagome in had been unbearable. It made him want to shoot Naraku's corpse a bit more, but he rushed. There was no telling how much longer she had left, which only added to this day moving like a blur.
"I'm I being saved?" he heard her weak voice from the back of the car, he wasn't going to trust an ambulance with her.
"Where is our child?" he demanded.
"At daycare, that's what he said. Where is he?"
"Somewhere he can't hurt you."
He had no time for her, he'd been wanting for her, and now as she lay on her deathbed he didn't even want to bother himself with answering her.
Was he becoming Naraku? Had this feelings been something other than love, did he just want to possess her?
And what of her? What did she feel for him? Would everything be happy? Now that all the evil had been put behind them would they marry and have their happy ending behind a white picket fence.
Sesshoumaru didn't see that. He saw Kagome's fate being the same as his father's. He was in love with his mother and married her though his own father said no, but when the excitement was gone he grew bored and found other women. Kagome said it herself, it felt like Inuyasha didn't matter anymore…was it because she'd been cheated on, or was it because it was no longer exciting to date someone from a different social class?
"Sesshoumaru?"
"Were close…"
Was this what they wanted?
Kagome's recovery had been a long process, but one that achieved results. All the poison had to be cleared from her system as well as the bandaging of her wounds. It was through the whole ordeal that Sesshoumaru learned how strong this girl he once pegged to be over emotional could be as well as other information, such as the fact that she always preferred vanilla ice cream over chocolate and she sometimes enjoyed listening to opera.
None of this changed his mind, however, he'd still made his decision.
"Is it weird?" he asked one night when she woke up in the hospital.
"Is what weird?" It was hard to look at her with those tubes in her arm and the marks all over her body from the abuse.
"Naraku. You gave your life to him. Though you were treated unjust is it weird for him to be gone? He was your husband."
Clearly from her reaction she didn't want to be reminded.
"Scary actually. Like his not really gone, like his waiting for me to be unguarded and then take me away."
Sesshoumaru hadn't left her side since she was brought in. It didn't seem like the right thing to do since he was the one who delivered her back into Naraku's hands. That, and he'd rather be here with her and the baby then at home on the phone with his lawyers discussing the upcoming trial over the murder of Naraku. He knew he'd get off since he saved Kagome, but due to his family name it was being thrown out of proportion with everyone else who knew about it.
All of that didn't matter though. All that mattered to him was what was in this room.
He stared down at Amaya glad to finally have his child back, but looking at her only reminded him of what was to come for the child Kagome shared with Naraku had somehow survived all the turmoil her body went through. There would only be a few issues, but as far as anybody knew the child would live a normal life.
"Sesshoumaru what's wrong?"
"Didn't you get an ultra sound yesterday when I was out?"
All she could do was nod, "Found out I'm having a boy."
Sesshoumaru quickly felt jealousy rise with him like vile in his throat. Naraku had been the criminal here, he'd tortured Kagome and tried to kill her, but all the while still getting everything that he couldn't have with her. He'd like to have a son as well as the option of actually planning to have a child with Kagome, but all those chances had been given to that lucky bastard who was probably chuckling in his grave.
"Sesshoumaru?"
"Shouldn't you be getting some sleep?"
She shook her head, "I'm ready to go home in a few days, what happens now?"
What happens now? It had been the question he was dreading, but like everything else in his life he would be straight forward with it.
"Naraku is gone. You are free."
"I know that, but I mean what happens with us?"
"Us?"
Kagome almost felt the air leave her body when he simply asked 'us'. That wasn't good. Was her expectations wrong, this whole time the plan she'd been running in her head was that once Naraku's hold on her was done she would move in with Sesshoumaru and her child and they'd all be a happy family. Could it be the addition of the second child that would ruin all of these plans?
He could see her worried glance, and almost tossed aside all previous arrangements just to see her smile again, but he could not. This was for the best.
"Sesshoumaru?"
"I'm moving. You will be staying here with your family. I'll send money."
She'd been proud for a few seconds thinking that Sesshoumaru was moving as a result of a breakthrough at his work or perhaps a lifestyle change, but when she learned she would remain behind her heart shattered. Now...just numb.
"Kagome? I need you to listen to me."
"It's your family too."
"Amaya is," was all he stated perhaps once again thinking negative thoughts about what slept in Kagome's belly, "as I've said I will send money."
"Does money make up for her not having a father on your terms?"
He was already heading towards the door, and Kagome knew it wasn't to use the bathroom. Sesshoumaru was leaving for good.
"Why?" her voice cracked trying to hide something deeper, "you- you did all of that for me, and now your walking out."
There were many reasons that he had to do this, but he wouldn't say them out loud for they all returned to the root of the problem, which was Kagome accepting Naraku's proposal when she should have stayed and made him happy. He also feared that maybe she didn't love him, and that perhaps she only felt anything for him now because he saved her. That had to be the reason, because why else would she love him now when he meant nothing to her before when they started this little family.
It would all be better this way. He wasn't going to bring Amaya up in an unhappy home similar to his. If he married it would be for love, which wasn't going to happen. He was Sesshoumaru, he was incapable of love.
Now and forever would he be incapable since the woman in the hospital bed had his heart.
"You need time to yourself Kagome. Rest and recover...soon you'll have two screaming children and I'll return to the life you labeled as fancy parties and social classes."
There were so many things she wanted to say and ask. This was stupid, foolish, and selfish of him. She knew there was something at work, in the beginning he'd been Mr. Responsibility earlier trying to force her to marry him, but now he was walking out.
However, he was only an inch away from the door and she was running out of time. Only one question came to mind.
"Will I ever see you again."
This was his chance to shake his head and just walk out. He could be done with the virus that was Kagome, but images of a happy family and a happy home prevented that.
"You won't get rid of me that easy Higurashi."
Kagome had never even received the dramatic good-bye kiss that this scene deserved when he left, but somehow though still numb there was a bit of satisfaction in the bittersweet ending. As she seen him disappear into the darkness from whence he came he no longer appeared to be the monster of absconding sorrows, nor the hero of his story. Just a man who she loved, and would one day return.
The End.