Sasuke walks onto the stage, the green curtains exchanged for blue.

"Look," he says, jabbing a finger at the audience, "I don't care how pretty, powerful, or perfect the new girl who suddenly moves to Konoha from the Mist, Sand or Sound (like it's even possible to change villages-I mean, God, look at the trouble they all went through to try and stop me from leaving) or even the "real world" is! I will not randomly ask them out on a date! I am a self-centered, one-track minded, arrogant punk and don't you forget it. I only care about killing Itachi, who is not "nice." Hello! He killed our entire clan! Oh, and he wouldn't ask them out either, because I'm ninety percent sure he's gay anyway!" He stops and glares at the crowd.

"And another thing, he ain't gay with me! That's disgusting, and keep in mind; ME. WANT. KILL. ITACHI." He speaks the last four words as if the audience is a bit slow in their collective head.

"And with that, I'll leave you." He prepares to walk offstage.

From the back of the theater, someone yells, "You didn't say anything about not being gay with Naruto!"

Sasuke groans and shoots them in the face, then walks offstage.

---

NOTE! These are not my opinions, I'm just writing what I think he would say. (write what you will, but I'll only write canon pairings, or pairings I think are canon. if they absolutely HATE each other, why would they buttfuck?)

NOTE NOTE! I actually like SasuNaru. It's just overdone.